"Is this what it feels to be smothered by the thorns of the most beautiful rose?"
I whispered trying to keep my tears in bay. Looking at Abhimanyu who was asleep for the first time in his life. He had passed out flat without even waking up after everything we had said to each other and done.
There was something I knew and no one had to fucking tell me for me to understand that we are not meant to be.
No matter what happens.
No matter the amount of love we feel.
We were horrible for each other and it's s good thing that I seem to have realised this before we fucked our lives even more.
My heart is fucking empty.
I don't feel s single thing anymore. It is so fucking numb that I just want to crush everything inside me and around me. I don't like to be like this.
I don't want to be weak.
I instinctively run my fingers through Abhimanyu's hair. Letting them sink into the depth of his wavy hair.
"Abhi... I thought you were the sea. I was wrong."
"I was the sea all along. My depth is something you can't fathom. The bottom is dark and completely void of the light you put me in. It is as twisted and broken as any other human. Maybe that is what scared you. You are scared to understand me. To drown in the honesty of my feelings and words."
I pause momentarily when I feel a healed stitch mark behind his head. It was not there before. My eyes snapped open and I felt something ominous.
And then almost reflexively look at his his wrists and ankles and heels for any new cut marks and find none.
If he was not trying to kill himself anymore. Then that mark can only mean someone had purposely injured him or he fell down pretty badly from somewhere.
"Why am I still worried about you?"
I laughed humorlessly and placed my hand over my face. Feeling pain shoot up all the way up my back and my legs trembling as I place them on the floor next to the bed.
"We are over... I only told you that didn't I?"
I fall on my knees as my legs give up. Not able to balance myself. Yet the sound doesn't wake up Abhimanyu.
I trace my hand on the floor and pick up my dress pulling it over my head and then zipping it up. And pace the room for some kind of pants. As I take my first step I feel something dried on my inner thighs and curse under my breath realising that I might need a shower before even getting out of here.
Picking up my phone from the side table I switch it on only to find about 15 missed calls from Aarav, 20 missed calls from Maa and 3 text messages from an unknown number.
My heart shuddered and trembled as I felt my finger tap on the notification.
I feel my heart stop all together as I see the picture of me pushing myself on Abhimanyu's dick and the virginal blood trailing down my thighs.
How?!
How could...
I look around the room to ffind nothing at all.
It did not look like Abhimanyu too the picture. I clearly remember his fingers intertwined with mine and the other digging into my hips trying to stop me.
I felt something on my cheek and realised it was my tear.
And with every ounce of courage in myself I scroll the text up and...
My doll...
Aren't you the loveliest creation to exist. Eyes soaked in tears. Thighs marked with your virginal blood and body trembling under his. You might have thought that you have escaped me but I have been keeping my eyes on you.
You my doll grow even more beautiful every fucking day. It enchants me how you look even more perfect when you suffer. It fills me with thrill to see you cry and beg.
Misery is the finest form of art. And the potential you held since day one had me fixed before and obsessed now. Especially after last night.
My hand gives out as the phone drops from my hand and falls on the carpeted floor with a thud.
I look around the room trying to see if anyone was there. If Abhi was awake.
Should I wake him up?
Will he take me home safely?
Will he care?
No.
We were done.
It is my problem.
I pick up my phone and see the last text that I had received almost two hours ago from the same number.
You have had too much freedom my pretty little doll. It's time you only dance for me, cry for me, smile when I command it and bleed for me. I bet my cock will feel the warmth of your blood soon enough. My doll is going satisfy me completely. After all you are my only real life art.
I'll come for you. Soon.
Wait for me Amara.
That is all it took for me to run into the washroom and puke my gut out. It was so digusting and filthy that I could not digest the words. The absolute madness and animalistic behaviour of whoever had sent it.
Doll.
Doll.
He...
I feel a hand rubbing my back as I throw up. Wheezing for air.
"Amara... its' ok. Stop crying. You will choke." I hear Abhimanyu's voice even though it had always soothed my ears before. It felt like nothing now.
.
.
.
"Don't touch me."
His hand halted on spot and his eyes widened. Pain and confusion etched across his face. His fists clenching when he looks at the tears and a little remnants of the content I had just thrown up.
"Amara... I... I can't... I can't see you like this." He said even though his words contradicted all his past and current actions.
"You don't have to. I am no one to you now."
His face turned sour and he didn't seem too happy about the suggestion. As he had seemed last night.
"All our promises are complete. We are each other's first everything."
"Amara. I have loved you and I have hated you. But never in my fucking life did I every want to fuck you to establish anything. What we had yesterday night might have been completely physical to you. But... it wasn't for me. It was..." He stopped speaking.
"Abhimanyu. Do you know what is your problem?"
"You say shit. You actions are even worse and then you give me the lousy excuse of your feelings. I am the one who has to always understand you whole you give zero fucks about how I feel or what I think. You don't care about me. You keep pretending to have loved me or whatever the fuck you felt. But you need to understand. What you felt for me is not love if you believed everyone else's words over mine."
"Amara..."
"Tell me I am wrong."
.
"You remember the night you walked inside my balcony looking broken and..." My voice cracked.
"I trusted you. Without you saying a word. Before you uttered a single fucking word. And you said my love was selfish." I laughed at him and pushed him away from me harshly as he stood there his head hung low.
"It doesn't give me any sort of peace staying away from you Amara for fuck sake. There are a million reasons to why I don't deserve you. There are even more reasons for you to hate me. But you are all I have on my mind. You are the form of torture I can't explain with my fucking words."
"You are nothing to me from now, Abhimanyu. I don't want to ever see you again." I say walking towards my purse trying to pick it up and just as I was about to leave the room I feel his arms wrapped around my waist. His face in my shoulder.
His Tears on my shoulder.
He didn't say a word.
Not a single one.
His grip around me tightened like he was going to die if he left me.
"Leave me."
"How have I ruined us this much?" He asked.
"Because you never tried not to ruin us. "
"I'll will walk through hell and burn in the fucking hell fire for what I have donw to you. I would do anything... I... you are just not written in my fate. You are not destined to be mine. I am not meant to be yours."
"Leave me, Abhimanyu."
"I'll let you go princess."
"I am letting you go."
.
"Forever."
I felt nothing.
Nothing at all.
Not a single fucking thing anymore.
I was so tired.
I just couldn't feel anything anymore.
"Bye... Princess. I hope you find happiness even if it is not with me."
Abhimanyu finally answered as he placed his shirt on my shoulder and turned me to face him.
My eyes were dry.
Not a single tear left them.
Whereas his tears didn't seem to stop.
His fingers trembled as he buttoned his shirt.
"Forget me and never Forgive me."
He whispered.
And I closed my eyes as he lead me outside the door only to wait near the doorway of the room. Not moving a muscle. He didn't try to stop me after I stepped outside the room.
He didn't try to touch me.
He didn't utter a single thing after I stepped outside the room.
.
I walked stumbling on my feet and trying my hardest to walk with the haziness and tears that now filled my eyes after I had reached the parking lot. As I walked outsid ethe lobby. The lights all switched off one by one.
Until it was pitch dark. And I felt it.
A hand on my mouth preventing me from screaming and heavy breathing down my neck.
"Why do you seem to enjoy angering me, my doll?"
"Hmph!" I struggled against the hold trying my hardest to get my strengths in the right places but he seems like an unmovable rock.
"Don't worry we can always polish the dolls back to perfection. I'll be back for that." He said his voice chilling and filled with vindictiveness.
"L..Hmph. Ahh!' I screamed as I felt a brutal bite on my neck and the presence disappear completely as the lights flicked back on.
.
.
.
"Princess!" I see my father running towards me followed by Aarav who seemed equally worried.
"Papa!" I cried hard and wrapped my arms around my father in fear.
"Papa! He... He! Papa save me! Take me home." I sobbed as I felt my father wrapping his arms around me and my younger brother trembling as he wrapped his arms around me.
I was terrified.
I didn't know who he was.
But I felt...
"Amara!"
"Amara di!"
I hear the voices fade as I feel hollowness and darkness all around me.
Followed by
Silence.
Doll.
Unedited: Prone to Errors and Typos.
Target: 250+ votes and I will post the next chapter tomorrow.
Publishing Schedule for Bound by Hearts:
Monday
Thursday
Saturday
Only if targets are met on time.