I sat on the couch, clasping both my hands, neck half raised and eyes intently waiting for Nishant to calm down. I could see him march the floor up and down as though, my trip to Delhi was stopping his marriage. For a while I felt, I was a spectator at one of those tennis courts moving my head left to right. I couldn't wait long and I got up.
"Can you rest your....and speak, instead of moving up and down, my neck hurts to see you do that," I raised my brows and that made the fuming fret settle beside.
"It is still two months ahead and why are we discussing it now? I see no point," I turned to see him.
"The decision is made, you are not going and that is final. I will tell Payal to inform Andy about it," Nishant was easily getting onto my nerves now.
"And would you take the pains of explaining the decision you have made for me?" I intrigued.
"I don't feel the need. I am your brother, and you are not questioning anything," my mouth fell open at that. I had no choice. He had given the ultimatum.
"Fine, happy?" I asked.
He turned to me and grinned. I hammered one on his head and left to pick my duffle.
"I hope I can at least go and practice, or do I need to seek permission for that as well?" I cocked my head and asked in a rhetoric way. With all the attitude, he raised his hand and waved it at my face, asking me to leave. I set the key holder hung by the wall, fly in his direction and closed the door in a thud.
Nishant could get rub the wrong side of me pretty easily. I rolled my eyes and cleared the thought and moved to my dance hall.
There was no practice session as per the plan. I was idle all the day at home and had felt the urge to dance-dance alone. I reached the place around seven. The month of July is a blessing to all those who stay at Bangalore. The unexpected rains, the cool breeze in the evening and the vivid strands of amber painted on the sky around half past six is a treat, not just for the eyes but for the soul as well.
I entered the room, I had no routine in mind, I only wanted to sweat it out. I kept the lighting of the room dim. I gaped the room for quite a while listening to the song being played. As I trod the floor, pictures of my 'almost-one-year' at Bangalore flashed by. The spectrum has had a gradient of colours. From the black to grey to few bright colours. The transition was not smooth, to be proud off. To reach the white spot, which seemed impossible, I had to travel alot and travelling alone, would just make it even far. I sighed as I looked at myself in the mirror. I had changed to someone who was a stranger to me itself. I could feel myself drowning into all the mess I had fought to come to this state again. I moved to the music system and increased the volume and let the music sync in.
Dance becomes easy when you want to express things, which is difficult to put out through words. Every movement indicates the journey, the expressions speak of the emotions gone through. Dance by itself is a language for those who find silence as a comfort sphere.
Nothing, better than dance could ever set me high. After an hour of vigorous dancing, when I was almost into waters, I sat by the mirror and pulled out the bottle from my bag. I was panting for breath.
Ever since I had moved to Bangalore, I had not heard about Tanmay even for once. He was out of sight, but definitely not out of mind. He was one of my triad. Yes, we had shared a rough patch, but I knew Tanmay could never be angry with me for this long. With time and distance, alot of people were compromised in my life--the ones whom I believed would stay with me till my last breath. I sat there helpless and uncertain of meeting him ever. I rested my head onto the mirror and closed my eyes. I had to swallow the lump that was growing within. There was no point in sobbing. I sat in silence to bring myself at peace. The music kept playing in the background as I drifted to silence.
The next day I spent time with Nishant and Payal, accompanied them with their purchasing. Nishant and I had settled in the car when Payal had left for her set of purchases. She had taken almost two hours and she returned back telling she had not found anything of her interest. I was baffled at her reaction. In two hours I could have bought everything needed for almost a lifetime, and she complains she couldn't find anything! I gaped at her when Nishant patted my back.
"Ask me about it, I have been through this alot," I looked at his puppy face and burst into laughter. Payal strangled his neck through the open window. She got into the car and moved ahead to find anything that suited her. After a 'long, empty-stomach' day, we were only done with her purchasing.
"Now what? I am done with both your purchasing," I sighed sitting behind in the car resting my head onto the seat.
"We are only done with mine," Payal grinned looking at me. I gave her a cold look in return.
"I guess you have shopped enough for both of you to spend the rest of your lives," I teased her and noticed Nishant silently enjoying the pun.
"Stay quiet!" She snapped a bag at me.
"Let's us move to the brigade and check few things for him," Nishant and I looked at each other nodding your head.
We moved into one of the buzzing streets of Bangalore, where every possible college student would be present. A magnum of a place, but hardly any space to park vehicles. We parked the car few roads behind and walked ahead to one of the stores that sold shervanis. We checked a few, out of which Nishant liked none. We were saturated with the day and that was the reason we had no interest anymore, but Payal was high on shopping. She had all the energy in the world.
I sat down on a chair and observed everything inside the store and outside as well. The couple was busy arguing on red and blue. My vote was for red as he looked good in it. The rest was there call. I sat and glared outside the street where I could see vehicles almost ramming into one another. The roadside food vendors getting circled with people. At eight in the night, people still prefer to enjoy the roadside environment instead of a peaceful stay at home. That is Bangalore for all.
I could see girls trodding the streets with huge bags, I could see group of guys chatting at a corner. It reminded me of my college days. Out of no where, I felt a familiar face walk by the store with the girl. The familiarity was intense. If made me churn with in. My intuition was not positive about this person. I started to get restless. I shifted my gaze to Nishant who now, was looking at me. He noticed the change of lines on my face and raised his brow in question. I swiflty nodded in return making sure it did not affect him.
"You both continue, I ll join you guys," I got up and moved even though I heard Nishant asking where. I flew the doors open and moved out turning left and right to capture another sight of the person. I moved left, with all questions popping like popcorn in my head. My anxiety was at its summit. I moved for quite a long to have failed in the search. I stood there to relax myself. I had over stressed myself. I turned to move back when I saw Nishant and Payal walking in the same direction tensed.
"Don't worry, it is all fine. I just felt that I saw someone familiar so went to see who that was. Anyway, how did the red blue fight go? What is the pH value?," I giggled.
"Not funny Mayank," Payal's voice was stern. They noticed the color fade on my face and had understood that I was trying to conjure a 'i-am-all-cool' act.
"Fine, ignore. I felt I saw Aryan and the rage was instantaneous, not my mistake," I dropped my head down.
"Let's go eat something," Nishant insisted.
"Gol-gappa" Payal screached. The way both ignored the name was slightly weird. I just followed them.
We halted at a corner to eat. We went one after another and the thought was still on in my head. I believe my instincts more than anything and when it is that intense there got to be something. As we continued to eat, at a distant I could hear a giggle and boyish voice coming closer to us. My entire concentration was on that for now. As the voice got closer, I could not stuff in any puris I kept the katori aside. My intuition was right. It was Aryan. I turned back in a jiff to notice him standing diagonal to me, facing the other side of the road. His stature had covered the girl who was standing in front of him. I could not see her clearly. His messages which he had sent that night when I was at Lé café flashed in front of me. I could feel the heat growing with in. My ears turned red and I was fuming by now. I silently marched towards the corner and stood in front him and saw his face lose color. The girl was a stranger. My eyes were fixed onto his which had a tinge of fear and guilt inside.
"Hi, Mayank. Long time," he stuttered to speak out. I curtly nodded my head. He whispered something into the girl's ears. She sensed the intensity and left with out a question. I stayed silent till she vanished from the vicinity. I could see from the corner of my eyes, Nishant trying to come towards us but Payal stopped him.
"Long time, when did you come to Bangalore? Great to see you here buddy," his voice did not really reflect the joy his statement had. I remained silent for a while.
"Look, Mayank, I know what is running in your head, your eyes are evidence for it. I am not invloved in anything. So i better leave," He spoke and tried to wriggle out. I blocked him left and right and pushed him to the wall behind. I could here Nishant shout my name. The push was hard enough for him to hit his back hard onto the wall. He cringed his face in pain. I lent my hand forward and helped him stand straight. He was puzzled at my reaction.
"I am sorry that the push was hard. I do not intend to impart pain. I only need you to blurt out everything that you have hidden. I have had enough since an year. The blind game is not going to work anymore. Tell me what made you send that message, why did you not respond, who allowed you to barge in?" I fixed my eyes into his and poured out into him.
"Barge in? Did you just say Barge? I was not interested in your love life. I was used to get you off the board," he spoke blunt.
"Get me off the board?" I questioned him again. By then Nishant came close to us.
"Oh, so he is here as well, why don't you ask him? he should be the better person to explain it to you. Right Nishant?" I was taken aback by Aryan's statement.
I looked at Nishant expecting him to speak. He was spell bound and that sent shivers within.
"Why is he not speaking? Did you ever ask him about Tanmay? He definitely would have skipped Tanmay from all the conversations, why? I think you must confront him and you shall find your answers," Aryan patted on my back and tried to move.
"You are not going anywhere. You have created all the mess in my life. Speak Aryan. What you had to tell through messages last year, tell it to me now, on my face," I insisted.
"Listen, I am sorry for what happened to you. Yes, I did not like you much back then, but that doesn't mean I would interfere into your personal life. I sent those messages to you because I was asked to send them. Believe me, I did not play anything other than that, the rest he should be telling you. I am surprised that he has not yet told you about that. Now, excuse me," he left the scene, may be forever.
I turned to Nishant, dejected. My eyes filled with water. I wanted to listen to him, but guess this time the already broken pieces were smashed to even smaller ones. I looked into his eyes and left the place. He came forward to stop me but Payal stopped him. I left having lost everything now!
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mynote : happy reading! :)