What if

i love you, its ruining my life

And there was laughing, shouting, murmurs, quiet whispers,
But never once was there me, pleading, begging silently,
And when I became the favourite voice in your head, you cherished me,
Rhyming lines to make me stay,
But I'm still standing in the garden we laid bare,
I whispered quiet affirmations of our future, hoping you'd correct me,
But the ink dried, drops of agony began to fall on the letters I wrote,
And when I plummeted to the floor, I became it,
I know what your steps taste like, I've got prints all over my heart,
But never my skin, I remain innocent,
Your words kissed me in places where only the sun has been before,
And I remained speechless, I never wanted to be yours,
Never wanted to rent your heart by the night,
The mornings would only shine the ugliness around me,
The afterglow would be covered in red, because I'm always cutting off pieces of myself,
I never learnt how to regenerate so I lay, unholistic, 
I guess I got so used to your love, I became it,
Now, I can't spell my own name, it feels borrowed,
But where would I find my something blue?
The voices have grown quiet again,
My white armour a little maroon.