If I had known this would be wrong, I wouldn’t have taken the perilous escape.
…I betrayed Raniero.
He would return to Actilus with a clear mind, and he would come to know that I betrayed him. He would get angry. Of course, he’d be angry! What I thought was the best choice has turned into the worst outcome, coming back to me like a boomerang.
“Ha, ah…!”
I ran my hand through my hair and laughed like a scream. Laughter was the only thing that came out.
Terror surged over me. As it crept up my ankles, coiled around my waist and strangled my throat, I clutched my throat and coughed. My throat felt itchy and scratchy. Subconsciously, I dug my fingernails into my neck.
“Angelica!”
Seraphina grabbed my shoulders with a panicked voice. She was stronger than I thought. Removing her hand from my neck, she looked at my face.
“Calm down.”
Those words felt too empty and meaningless. After all, she was in a position that had nothing to do with this right now.
A mirthless laugh escaped from my lips.
“Don’t worry too much. There must be another way, surely…”
“Another way…”
“This won’t solve anything.”
What should I do to solve this? I hastily grabbed my belongings in a panic, then donned the bag over my shoulder and put on my winter clothes and boots.
“Angelica.”
Seraphina’s voice trembled.
“Eden… Eden.”
But now, Seraphina didn’t matter to me. I needed Eden, my destined community, who had come here with me. He would come up with some plan, right? Even if he was insensitive and indifferent, he was always more rational and daring than me…
[ T/N: It sounds kind of strange, but the author actually used the word’ 공동체,’ which meant ‘community—a group with the same ideology or goal’ here. ]
A lump welled up in my throat, and my eyes suddenly grew hot.
‘First of all, Eden asked me to come here. Eden…!’
…So, Eden should take responsibility for what happened to me
I got dressed and went out into the hall and shouted.
“Where’s Eden? Eden! Eden!”
A paladin approached me as though he were going to subdue me as I was screaming as if I was out of my mind. With tears in my eyes, I glared at him and enunciated each syllable.
“Where’s Eden?”
The approaching paladin flinched and then cast a pleading glance toward the Archbishop, who was still standing there and looking at me with a deeply sympathetic expression.
I was irritated, because sympathy didn’t help.
“Where is he?!”
I snapped in frustration. At the same time, I couldn’t help but burst into uncontrollable tears. The paladin who had blocked my path hesitated before he moved aside as the Archbishop gestured.
“Come with me.”
I followed him.
The Archbishop took a bundle of keys from his robe and unlocked the lock on the innermost chamber.
Creak.
When the door opened, I saw a man sitting forlornly on a rough bed, his eyes closed.
“Eden!”
I immediately ran to him.
Opening his eyes, Eden looked at me and asked.
“What about the Emperor?”
I couldn’t answer immediately, but he didn’t say anything more. It seemed he realized something was amiss when he saw me crying.
I stammered.
“The, the Emperor didn’t… didn’t take Seraphina. The original story is distorted.”
Eden’s face turned pale at my words.
“Hasn’t Seraphina met the Emperor?”
“She did meet him! She met him, but…”
As I grabbed Eden’s arm and sobbed uncontrollably, I heard him muttering curses under his breath.
“I thought it was written like that in the book you brought.”
“That’s right, it was written like that, h-heuk… but… it went wrong…”
“Try to calm down. Stop crying. We missed our chance now, but…”
My anger flared.
The problem wasn’t just that we missed the opportunity!
I pressed my contorted face closer to Eden’s.
“That’s not the problem right now! He didn’t go crazy for Seraphina. He’s… he’s going to find me!”
While Eden had a stunned expression, I sobbed and let go of his arm.
In the end, he was only thinking about himself, and I needed to deal with the crisis in front of me on my own.
I took a step forward without thinking. Just as I was about to pass through the door to the room where he was being held, Eden walked up behind me, grabbed my arm and spun me around.
“What are you doing? What are you going to do?”
Why was he asking the obvious?
“I have to go back!”
I shouted with tears in my voice.
“I have to go back to the imperial palace as if nothing happened…”
“Can we outrun the Actilus army?”
His sharp remark left me breathless, and the tears that had been flowing continuously also ceased. My eyes widened, and I hiccupped.
“If you want to pretend that nothing happened, you have to arrive at the Countess Tocino’s estate before the Actilus army. Can you do it?”
I sank down onto the floor.
…What am I supposed to do?
“What should we do? He’ll be furious. He’ll try to find me. He isn’t going to leave me alone… he’ll play with me painfully and then kill me.”
Eden knelt in front of me as if trying to reassure me. He didn’t forget to firmly hold both my hands to prevent me from running away.
“He was generous with you, right?”
“It’s because I’ve been obedient all this time…”
He couldn’t deny it. As he closed his mouth and tried to think of something to say to soothe me, he clumsily patted my shoulder, but it didn’t provide any comfort at all.
At that moment, someone’s hand rested on top of my head.
I checked to see who it was.
It was Seraphina.
“Angelica, I’m not exactly sure what’s going on, though…”
I resented Seraphina. Even though I knew it wasn’t her fault, in my head, it seemed like she had ruined everything… but the blame quickly turned toward me.
No, it was my fault.
It was because I was foolish.
Seraphina wiped my messed-up face with her sleeve, now stained with tears and snot. She didn’t care about her once pristine white clothing. Then, she held me tightly and spoke in a soothing voice.
“You said it took you seventeen days to get here, remember? The Emperor’s army will take at least that long.”
“It only took seventeen days…”
“Even if they go there and immediately come back, it will still take another seven days. So, we have more than a month of leeway, right? Don’t you think so?”
Seraphina’s voice was like a soothing tonic. Perhaps it was because I may have lost strength from crying so much, but gradually, I stopped shedding tears in her embrace.
She comforted me.
“I didn’t know that something not going according to your plan would become such a big problem. I’m sorry.”
If you think about it, she shouldn’t have to apologize. It was me who was in the wrong. I tried to pass everything on to her and hide. Even though I thought it was the best thing to do, hearing this apology now, I felt acutely ashamed of being such a terrible person.
“No…”
I said with a whimper.
Seraphina helped me to my feet.
“Would you like to pray? Even if you’re not a believer of the God of Mercy, prayer can be helpful.”
She looked at me and smiled warmly… a face that melted away all worries and concerns. She was a person who perfectly suited the title of Saint of Mercy.
I stared blankly at Seraphina’s face.
“If you follow the procedure with a reverent heart, it might calm your mind. Come on. Angelica, even if you tried to go to Actilus right away, your body wouldn’t be able to handle the journey since you’ve lost too much strength.”
I nodded and followed her. When we entered the prayer room together, she showed me each of the ceremonial items.
My mind was in turmoil, but I nodded blankly for now. Seraphina placed the items in my hands one by one and then led me through a process known only to her. She filled five vessels with holy water and placed them in the designated positions to form a pentagon before she lit the candles on the altar, and we sat in the center of the prayer room.
As Seraphina told me to kneel, I did as she instructed.
“God of Mercy, your servant is here.”
Seraphina prayed.
When I asked if I should repeat what she was saying, she gently told me that I didn’t have to, so I closed my eyes and clasped my hands together.
“Please guide the lost one and lead them on the right path. Please keep them safe and let them be accompanied by a strong will.”
Her gentle voice gradually calmed me down little by little. As her fair and beautiful hand gently touched my cheek, I opened my eyes cautiously to see her smiling sadly once again.
“Now, the God and you are more deeply connected.”
That was the end of the prayer.
Now, it was time to organize the prayer room. The preparations made before the prayer were reversed in order—the candles were extinguished, the holy water in the bowls was poured back into their respective places, and then the bowls were returned to their positions.
Seraphina asked.
“Was that helpful?”
Despite the fact that the prayer hadn’t magically improved my situation, at least it had helped to quell some of the intense emotions that had been welling up within me. Nevertheless, the fact that I was still devastated and helpless remained the same. I was unable to give any clear answers and just stared down at the bowls in my hands.
“For me, desperation has always been helpful, the desperation to hear the voice of God. I always turn to God for guidance.”
Seraphina uttered words that didn’t provide much help to me.
I placed the bowls back on the shelf where they originally belonged. When I looked back, I noticed that her eyelashes were trembling.
“I forgive you, Angelica.”
A chill settled in one corner of my chest. Seraphina knew that I had deliberately omitted information to put her in danger.
Well, I had panicked and shouted like that… she would be a fool to not know.
I felt a growing sense of unease as I gazed at her.
She mumbled something with a wistful smile, though I couldn’t hear it. Then, Seraphina rushed out of the prayer room. It was only then that I realized she, too, had been shaken by the emotional turmoil and had pretended to be calm to calm me down. I immediately opened the prayer room door to chase after her, but Eden was there.
He spoke with a slightly haggard face.
“I won’t let you die. I know I’m responsible.”