t h i r t y f i v e. home
Jugnu rushed out in full speed when the bicycle rickshaw stopped at the entrance of the little cottage at the end of the road. Reyansh paid for the fare, and helped bring the bags out while Pranati absentmindedly looked at the cottage.
She was terrified to go inside.
Just like the first time.
"Prani?" Reyansh looked sideways to the woman who did not look quite good. "Let's go?"
Pranati turned to meet Reyansh's soft gaze and nodded, even though she would rather stay outside and not face the sick woman. The neighbors who had called her from Jaana's cellphone did not sound too promising and Pranati was gasping for breath when she took a step closer.
Pranati was Reyansh's kryptonite.
But vulnerable Pranati was like death to Reyansh.
"You can do this," Reyansh muttered from besides her. "Jaana is going to be okay, and if she's not, she'll be once she sees you."
That helped her gain composure and she walked straight towards the door. Her hands were fisted, her eyes moist and her heart broke when she saw Jaana laying like a vegetable on the wooden cot. Jugnu was crying as she hugged her grandmother who raised her feeble hand at the kid, and Pranati hid her tears as she turned her head away.
"Jugnu..." Jaana's voice strengthened, she tried getting up as the two women from the neighborhood helped her up. "Jugnu? Mera bacchu?" Jaana grasped onto Jugnu and held the kid closer, "is that you?"
"This is me." Jugnu nodded vigorously, wiping her tears and held the old frail hands of her grandmother. "I am here, okay, so you can now get up and not be sick."
"Does that mean my daughter is here?" Jaana asked, looking faintly around although it was blurry to see without the glasses. "Is my betu here?"
Pranati wiped her tears, taking a deep breath and walked towards the old lady. "Of course I am here, where else would I be?" Pranati held back on the tears and watched Jaana raise her other arm towards the girl, the one with the salines and the wires.
Reyansh watched the two girls being coddled in the warmth of the old lady who embraced them like it had been ages. He leaned on the doorframe, hands folded and his anxious heart beating aloud. To see Pranati warm up to Jaana in a way she should have warmed up to Shobna was both heartbreaking and heartwarming at the same time.
"Now that your daughter is here, we'll take your leave." The neighbor smiled at Pranati and then at Jugnu, "we'll send the doctor over soon, they were supposed to visit anyway."
The reunion took half an hour with Pranati sobbing like a baby more than Jugnu or Jaana and hugged Jaana. The doctor arrived and helped Pranati run over whatever happened over the course of two days and each added sickness made Pranati glare at Jaana who lowered her gaze.
"Do you have any idea what you made me go through?" Pranati muttered, her hands around the sick lady, "Jaana how could not inform me earlier, how is this fair?"
Jaana chuckled, feeling much at ease now that Pranati and Jugnu were with her. "And ruin your Delhi trip? I am okay."
"Okay?" Pranati shook her head, reading the reports of the doctor. "BP high, diabetes high, cholesterol high," She then listed all the symptoms and all of the injections given, "it's like you wanted me to leave so you could just eat all trash things."
Reyansh chuckled at the change in tone from the sad/sobbing daughter to the very angry woman. Jugnu also had a grim expression on her face, equally mad at Jaana for neglecting her health.
"Jugnu, apni maa ko samjha."
"Nahi," Jugnu stood up, hands crossed across her chest. "She is right, why did you not take care of yourself! What is something happened to you?"
"Exactly." Pranati took the lead, a sigh of disproval making Jaana to lower her gaze. "What were you thinking, Devi-ji, explain yourself?"
Jaana looked at the newest member who stood aside, witnessing all of it unfold. She pointed at the man, "who is that?"
Reyansh straightened up at once and Jugnu pointed at the man with a smile. "That is my Sherkhan, Jaana." She called Reyansh inside and he obeyed, petrified at the way the sick lady was glaring at him.
"Is that who I think it is?" Jaana asked Pranati who simply nodded, gaze lowered. "So you are Jugnu's father?"
Reyansh nodded, head lowered and fear stricken. "yes... yes ma'am..."
"Why are you here?"
Even though Jaana was sick and could do with some rest, she decided it best to question the man who stood in front of her. To see the man who caused Pranati immense pain suddenly gave her enough strength to be angry and upset.
"I came to drop Pranati and Jugnu."
"What gives you the right?"
"Jaana-" Pranati tried but Jaana raised her palm to stop the girl, watching Reyansh lower his gaze all the more.
"I-" Reyansh was dumbfounded, what was he to reply? "I have none. I only wanted to drop the girls back safely."
Jugnu pouted, "Jaana, why are you being so harsh with my SK. Leave him be, he does not feel well either." She stood in front of her father, defending him and meeting Jaana's fierce gaze. "He has been such a nice person to us."
"Nice person does not run away from his responsibilities."
"Jaana, please." Pranati was quick to stop this from going out of hand, especially in front of Jugnu. "Reyansh only came to drop us. And right now you need to rest, so we can continue this later."
Jaana could really use some rest to slap the man who stood in front of her. Pranati was right, she needed to rest and maybe then she could confront the coward who let her two girls suffer beyond repair.
"Fine, but you." Jaana pointed at Reyansh who dared to look up, scared and worried. "You won't leave until I speak with you."
Reyansh nodded, "yes ma'am..."
"But Jaana, Reyansh yaha kaise?"
However, Pranati was ignored when Jaana lay down and shut her eyes in a way to conclude the conversation. Jugnu sighed, shaking her head as she turned to face Reyansh.
"Oh man, SK, you might as well be a dead person now." Jugnu's words only scared Reyansh who gulped, looking down at the girl. "I have never seen Jaana so angry."
"Jugnu, stop being extra." Pranati ushered the girl away from Reyansh, "go bring your bag and freshen up."
"Can I go visit Gattu? Jaana is asleep and I have so much to tell him!"
"Surely," Pranati smiled, wiping her face with her thumb. "Ask him if he wants to join us for dinner..."
"YES!" Jugnu ran out immediately before Pranati or Reyansh could stop her.
"ye ladki," Pranati sighed, taking the bags inside, "you should freshen up, it is going to be a long night."
Reyansh looked over at the lady who looked like she was asleep, doused with medications. "Is it safe to say that I am very scared right now?"
"Reyansh Khurana is scared?"
Reyansh pulled Pranati closer so he could whisper softly, "have you seen that woman, she is fucking scary."
"Don't touch her unless you want to go back to Delhi without an arm."
The voice from the side of the bed made Reyansh to immediately put his hand down and step away from Pranati. He gulped muttering a yes ma'am and shaking his head at Pranati.
"so we are here to attend my funeral, cool cool."
He excused himself to make a call to the Khuranas' and Pranati approached the sleeping woman.
"Jaana, you are being harsh on him."
"And you are being too soft with a man who left you and Jugnu when you needed him the most. You can forgive him, but I will never."
"I haven't forgiven him."
"You have not?"
"No, I haven't. But, I don't want to hold onto the past either. Plus, Jugnu is fond of him."
"Jugnu? Our Jugnu?" Jaana gasped as Pranati tucked her, adjusting the saline and the medication drawer. "She likes him?"
Pranati nodded, "yes."
"And you are okay with it."
"yes."
"why?"
"Because Jaana... he is Reyansh Khurana, I can hate him all I want, but I cannot change the fact that he is Jugnu's father and a man I once loved."
_
While Pranati immediately got back to tidying her house, cooking food and arranging their bags, Reyansh sat outside on the wooden cot and pondered over the contrast world of theirs. The entire cottage was half the size of his huge room and with the way it was kept, did not look stable or reliable.
His girls had lived their lives here with poverty, misery and tons of trauma.
Jaana was right. What gives him the right?
Maybe he should apologise and leave and cause no more pain to them. But what about making things right? What about giving them a life they deserved!
"Prani-"
Jaana cleared her throat from the bedside.
"Pranati-" He corrected himself as he entered the tiny kitchen which was just a narrow space besides the main living area, "do you need help?"
Pranati shook her head amidst the stirring and the roasting.
"You should take a nap." She said, not minding how hot the pan was when she flipped the chapati with her bare hands. "It was a long night for you too."
"But-"
"Rey, I have tons of work at hand." Pranati continued with chopping the vegetables, wiping the sweat buds with her shoulder.
Only for Reyansh to grab her arm, turn her to face him when he wiped it for her, with his pocket kerchief. She looked at him, trying her best to understand the man who was helping her do things he should not be doing.
"Okay?"
Pranati nodded.
"Pranati, I hope you are not burning the food." Jaana's voice broke their trance and she retreated back to her cooking.
"She really hates me." Reyansh muttered under her breath, keeping the cloth besides the counter so Pranati could use it. "Should I go pick Jugnu?"
"Yes please," Pranati eyed the clock, narrating Reyansh the address of the orphanage. "Gattu is Jugnu's best friend, and an orphan, so just be a bit mindful around them. That kid is very sensitive for a 8 year old."
Reyansh noted the instructions and turned to leave only to turn back and approach her. "Waise, how close are Jugnu and this Gattu?"
"Reyansh-"
"No, I am just asking. Gattu is a boy, isn't he? Why is Jugnu so close with a boy at this age?"
"Reyansh!"
"Geez, fine. I'll go get them, but I am going to be clear, I do not like this Gattu."
Pranati could not help but shake her head in a disapproved sigh. Reyansh was acting like a girl father and she was afraid he might be reckless around the kids.
There Reyansh had to walk half a mile to come across the old place known as the orphanage of the town. He walked towards the grounds to see Jugnu and Gattu seated way too close to each other, their heads lowered as they watched something.
"He is just a kid." Reyansh reminded himself, repeating the words of Pranati to calm himself down. "He is just a kid."
Jugnu and Gattu were united after a long three weeks and she was narrating everything that happened in those weeks. But even so excitedly, showing him the pictures she took of Pranati every time she was remotely happy. The transition of Pranati's smiles got Gattu to smile too, happy to see his Tee aunty and his best friend living a happy life.
"And you have no idea how much the Khuranas' love me! Gattu, they are so cute and crazy." She narrated all of the times they had fun, the fair and the camping, the fireworks and the banters. "And every meal with them had tons of varieties, things I did not even know existed."
Gattu was grinning from ear to ear. It was nice to see his best friend living a happy life for the both of them. Being an orphan always stung, but having Jugnu as his friend helped him live a little.
"Wow, you had so much fun. I am so happy for you."
"Nothing compares to how much fun we have together." Jugnu slipped her arm in his, interlinking it. "I can leave all of it for you and Jaana. You know me."
Gattu knew she was trying to make him feel loved and happy but he also knew that Jugnu was clearly fond of her new family.
"What about RK?" Gattu asked, the picture of the trio posing in the photobooth of the fair in his hand. "Is this your father?"
Jugnu took hold of the picture where she was picked by her mom and dad. Reyansh wore his angel halo, Pranati in her casual attire and devil horns with she in bunny ears. They had click tons of pictures in that makeshift fun fair but this one where she was kissed by Pranati and Reyansh while her arms around them was her favourite.
"Yes, that is my father. I call him Sherkhan and he calls me Mowgli." She then showed Gattu her palm where a faint henna art of a very disassociated flower remained, "and he made this too. Is he not awesome?"
Reyansh smiled, listening to the kids and soaking in all of his daughter's conversations. He loved the way Jugnu spoke and how her honey eyes twinkled each time she mentioned him.
"You like him now?" Gattu asked, tilting his head. "I thought we will never like this man. You swore you would hate him and made me swear too."
Jugnu looked gravely at her friend, and then at the picture. "I thought I would hate him forever too, Gattu. Par pata nahi kyon, mujhe SK bohot pasand hai."
"But Tee aunty? What about her? Don't you like her now?"
"HEY!" Jugnu withdrew her arm from Gattu's, "I will never stop loving my DM. You know she will always be first to me. How could you even say that?"
Gattu was in a fix. He frowned watching the polaroid, "so you are not going to back to Delhi? To the Khunaaras?"
"Khuranas!" Jugnu corrected the boy and took back all the pictures, "I want to, but I don't think DM will like that."
"Maybe you should tell your DM that you want to go to the Khoonaras. It is nice to see you so happy and having fun, it makes me so jealous."
Jugnu saddened at the thought of never seeing the Khuranas again, but even sadder at the alternative. "What if I tell her and she tells me to leave and never come back?" Jugnu asked, being vulnerable to the boy who understood her the most. "What if I say I want to be with the Khuranas and she gets angry at me? I don't want to leave my DM."
It gave Reyansh immense joy to see Jugnu accepting him as her father and his family as hers. But equally sad to see Jugnu at the middle of the entire charade. And as much as he wanted his daughter, she was all Pranatis'. She should not be in the middle of choices and consequences.
He made his mind to speak to Pranati about the entire deal and ask her, rather request her if she could let Jugnu come visit them at times.
"Baccha party," Reyansh dropped in unannounced, jump scaring the two kids. "What are you two upto?"
Gattu and Jugnu wrapped up the pictures and Reyansh sat down in between them, purposefully separating the duo.
"Nothing, just catching up." Jugnu stood up to face her father, "SK, this is my best friend, Gattu and Gattu, this is Sherkhan, mere papa."
Gattu smiled a toothy grin at Reyansh, "hi." He waved at Reyansh and the man melted at how cute the little boy was. "So you are Jugnu's father?"
"Hmm, and you are Jugnu's best friend?"
"One and only." Gagan smiled at his friend and then turned his smile upside down, "I have a question for you, RK."
"Yes?"
"Where had you gone for so many years?" Gattu asked, looking at the tall man who was once again at a loss of words.
Jugnu also looked at Reyansh for an answer. She did not quite know yet about the reason Reyansh was absent from her life other than the fact that her mother hated him. She assumed he had ran away from them because he did not want her, but it was only fair to ask him the question and get the intended answer.
"I was... I was lost."
"Lost?" Gattu frowned, hands on his hips. "How?"
Reyansh looked at Jugnu and held her tiny hands in his, "I was lost for eight years, amidst my own wrongdoings and I never thought I'd be able to find my way back home." He smiled at his daughter, "but turns out, I am home now."
Jugnu and Gattu did not get the depth of Reyansh's statement but they let him get the benefit of the doubt. Gattu nudging at Reyansh's sleeve and getting his attention.
"Does that mean my parents are also lost somewhere and that they might come looking for me too some day?"
Reyansh's heart broke. He let go of Jugnu's hands and turned to face the little boy who had seen hardships that he did not deserve. All because his parents decided it best to give him up. He may have grown without a mother and an absent father, but his family was always by his side. So he would never know the pain of what it was to be abandoned.
Reyansh ruffled the boy's hair, "one day you will get your own home, baby, and your own people who will never ever leave you." He assured the little boy who nodded, a glint of hope in his innocent eyes.
"I am your home!" Jugnu announced flinging her arms around the boy, "I am your people, you don't need to think about people who left. It is their loss."
Jugnu was right about that, Reyansh was the first to vouch because it was really his loss when he gave up on them.
_
Jugnu and Gattu spent the entire dinner talking and sharing whatever they missed from each other's lives since the past weeks. Pranati had helped Jaana eat her food and take her medicines, while Reyansh sat in front of the two kids who were eating less and talking more. Jaana and Pranati were happy to see the scene unfold as Reyansh closely watched the kids.
"How are you, baby?" Pranati asked Gattu who raised his three fingers with a toothy grin. "I am so sorry that I could not get the things I bought for you from Delhi, we packed so hastily."
"That is fine, Tee aunty." Gattu looked at Pranati who sat besides Jaana, he was a happy little baby who did not care much about material things. "You and Jugnu are here, what more do I want."
"Dekh rahi ho Pranati, kitna pyaara hai tumhara jamaii." Jaana commented, sniggering at the little remark which made Pranati to chuckle. "Seriously, Pranati, now that you are here, I feel better already." Jaana touched Pranati's hand, a smile on her tired face.
"You still have to eat khichdi for a week."
"But, I feel better already."
"The reports tell otherwise, Jaana. I cannot believe you'd be so irresponsible." Pranati eyed the old lady with a death glare, "you probably don't love me as much as I do."
"That is not true. You know that." Jaana then looked over at Reyansh, "he doesn't leave until I say so, okay?"
"Jaana-"
"The kids saved him today."
The kids were done with their dinner and since it was way past the orphanage curfew, Gattu was to sleepover with them. Pranati did not mind Gattu and Jugnu's friendship, instead she loved how her daughter did not have to pretend in front of Gattu and likewise. She only wished that these two would be friends forever.
Reyansh on the other hand, did not like the prospect of a 'guy' with his daughter.
"How are you permitting this?" Reyansh confronted Pranati when the kids set their matresses' on the floor.
"Reyansh, they are little kids."
"But he is a boy!" Reyansh unable to hold back on his concerns, "boys are stupid."
"You are a boy."
"And I am stupid!" Reyansh shrugged, "I thought we had that cleared."
Pranati shook her head, ignoring him and cleaning the utensils while he wiped them with the cloth towel. "You are overthinking this, Rey. Jugnu and Gattu are just friends and he is her only friend."
"But still... couldn't Jugnu be friends with a girl, why does it have to be a boy."
Once they were done with dinner and the dishes, and the mattresses' set on the cold floor, they decided it best to sleep the night off. Reyansh looked at the set-up, the kids were already asleep in the corner of the room and that left a very little space for the adults to sleep in.
Pranati and Reyansh looked at each other and then at the tiny space in which they had to sleep.
"I could sleep outside in the verandah," Reyansh suggested even though it was freezing cold out there. "You can sleep here."
"Are you insane?" Pranati stopped the mad man, "it is freezing Rey. You cannot spend the night, not after your family has been so kind to me and Jugnu."
Reyansh gulped, "so what do you suggest?"
"We are adults," Pranati brushed off the thought of having Reyansh sleep so close to her and took a deep breath. "And it is just for tonight... hopefully."
The floor was cold despite the mattress they put and since they had two comforters, Pranati put one on Jaana and the other on the kids. That left the duo to sleep in sheets that did nothing about the cold. Pranati was used to the cold, but Reyansh who grew up in comfort was not able to relax even for a second.
The hardened cold floor, the wall right besides him and the hauntingly silent night was getting to him. He could not turn or he'd wake Pranati, he could not get up either so he froze, trying his best to fall asleep. It may have been an hour, or two, when Pranati shifted closer and pulled the sheets on him.
"Can't sleep?"
Reyansh met her gaze, even in the dark Pranati looked beautiful. The dim lights of the street helped him trace her silhouette.
"How did you know?" He whispered softly, his back against the wall because that was all the space they had.
"It took me time to get used to this place too." She muttered softly, her face was close to him that he could hardly grasp anything that was being said and done. "The cold makes you feel so numb at times, I am sorry Jaana made you stay when you could have been at home right now."
Reyansh brushed the hair off her face, catching her off-guard. "What are you saying?" He brushed his finger over her cheek, caressing her beautiful face. "I am home."
He could not see how Pranati reacted to it, but he dared to do what he wanted to since forever. He put his hand around her waist and pulled her closer, the warmth of her body was easily better than any heater or blankets.
It did not take much time for Pranati ease under his hold as she buried her face in his chest, his hands wrapped around her and his head on her soft hair. They slept comfortably through the night, letting no overthinking get the best of them. All of the feelings and the past and the mistakes were put on hold as they held each other.
The cold did not dare bother them after that.
_