Suicide mentioned
It was a quiet night, the calm before a storm. This made Nightwing uneasy. Hearing the slightest wisp of wind behind him, he took a fighting stance. Behind him is a friend he sees quite often, but never like this, never on his home turf.
"Pocket Mouse? What brings you to Bluheaven?"
The mouse smiles, her ears twitching, "What, I can't visit my favorite bird?"
They stare at each other before laughing together, and they always feel at ease, like a blanket wraps around them. They sit down at the edge of the building, the silence filled with their chatter and laughter. It goes all the way into the sunrise, long past either of them, though they would stay out. Then again, when you are having fun, time flies.
As the two eventually stare out into the distance, they notice the sun rising. It casts a golden hue over the city, highlighting the buildings. Nightwing stares at Pocket Mouse and smiles as the sun highlights her face. "Funny, I didn't realize how late it was. I didn't mean to stay this long," Mouse whispers, breath almost lost in the beauty of the rays of sunlight.
"Yeah, amazing what happens when you get lost in good company," Nightwing says, nudging the heroine's shoulder playfully, with a light blush over his face, just light enough to be blamed on the rising sun.
A blaring ring breaks the peaceful morning. " I can't have any time to myself, huh?" Pocket Mouse says, stretching and hopping to her feet. Nightwing tilts his head, "That's not the JL com?" She giggles and swipes her tail over his face, "Guardian magical junk, don't worry about it."
His face scrunches up from her tail before getting up to stand next to her. "You know you don't have to do that alone. Even Batman eventually got over the working alone bullshit." He says, resisting the urge to caress her face. She smiles wistfully, "I had a team once; I ruined their lives." Ever the mystery, she doesn't elaborate.
"Anyway, Wing, I need to head out; say Hi to RH for me 'kay?" She says before she opens a portal and steps through, waving over her shoulder.
"Sure," Nightwing mumbles, knowing she hears him.
***
"I'm starting to think you only show up when you know it'll be a quiet night," Nightwing says as a portal opens behind him, and Pocket Mouse comes through it.
"Of course. I don't want to disturb you while you work," she says, walking next to him before sitting over the edge of the building and dragging him down with her. "I wouldn't mind if you came on patrol with me, could see your magic in person." He says, looking into the horizon.
"Please, you couldn't handle all this," Mouse jokes, gesturing to her whole body. Nightwing turns to her. "Oh, trust me. I think I'll be fine. It'll be you, Squeaky, who won't be able to handle me." His face inches closer to hers, with a slight smirk. Mouse squawks before whipping her face around and covering it with her hands, letting out another slight squeal.
Nightwing laughs, letting out a full-body cackle that travels through the air. "Wing! Don't do that. My body and heart can't handle it!" She says, swishing her body left and right in embarrassment. "Don't do what Mouse?" He says, inching closer to the laughter still present in his voice.
"You know exactly what I mean," She says, looking away and staring off into the distance. "I know; I just wish it was different." He says, looking down at his hands. "Me too." With a sigh, Mouse gets up "Last time I stayed too long, I don't wanna keep you like that again." She turns to leave, and Nightwing grabs her hand. "Stay?" he asks. She can hear the hope in his voice and imagine what his eyes would look like.
Mouse smiles sadly before slowly pulling her hand away, "Later Wing."
***
It's another quiet night, and Wing waits for her. Atop of their building, keeping an ear out for trouble and another one out for her.
Finally, the hue of her portal shines. "What took you so long?" he jokes, turning around. He freezes at the sight, her hair unraveled and her suit torn. Her legs shake as she stumbles towards him, and her knees give out before she can reach him. "Mouse!" he shouts, running to catch her. "Hey Wing," she mumbles back.
"Don't 'Hey Wing' me, what happened? And don't you dare say Guardian magical junk. You know I hate that," Nightwing says as he brings both of them to the ground, caressing her face and moving her hair away from her eyes. Mouse laughs before coughing, "Fine, it was boring magical crap." He scowls at her, causing another fit of giggles from the mouse.
"Just answer me this. Will you be okay?" "Yeah, just sit with me. My suit will fix itself once I'm healed up." Nightwing sighs before laying down and pulling the mouse on top of his chest. "Fine, next time, can I please get an answer?" "Depends on the question."
"Alright, favorite color?" "Really?" "Yeah, favorite color." "Pink, but not like a hot pink, but like a light blush pink. You?" "Blue."
"That is so weirdly you, blue, so basic." She giggles, reaching a hand up to comb through his hair and staring at his mask. "You know, I could imagine you with blue eyes, not blue like mine, but like a softer blue." "Really? I wouldn't mind having your eyes; they're so bright." He says, playing with her hair and staring into her eyes, memorizing all the different hues that seem to dance in them. She hummed before laying her head against his chest, listening to his heart. The steady beat almost lulls her to sleep, but his warmth isn't enough against the cold.
Eventually, Pocket Mouse gets up and lies next to Nightwing, hands brushing against each other. "Can I ask another question?" Nightwing asks, finally breaking the silence "Sure, but you know that doesn't mean you'll get an answer." She says, turning to look at him with mirth in her eyes. "What happened to your team?"
She freezes before turning her head to look at the sky. It's dark, with not a single star in the sky, and there's nothing to wish on. "I ruined their lives," she sighs out. "There were eight of us, and I was the leader and was using a different name back then." Her voice sounds broken.
"You know how when you started this whole thing, you had Batman?" "Yeah?" "Well, at first, it was just me and another person, Ladybug and Chat Noir, against the world." An unreadable expression reaches her face as she remembers the past.
"We were both what 13/14 when we started with no training, guidance, or anyone to help us if we failed. It was so lonely; we couldn't tell each other our secret identities. There were some nights where all I wanted to do was cry, but if I did, that would mean I had to admit I was sad."
"Why couldn't you be sad?" Nightwing asks, finally turning to look at Pocket Mouse. "My villain, Hawkmoth, preyed on negative emotions. If I felt sad, I'd be turned into a monster under his control, and then no one could turn me back." Nightwing nods before turning to look back at the sky.
"Anyway, eventually, I added more heroes to help me: Honey Bee, Red Dragon, Serpent, Pegasus, Monkey King, and White Rabbit. They helped, but it ruined their lives.
For Honey Bee, it ruined her already rocky relationship with her parents; the same goes for Red Dragon. Serpent broke down emotionally and had to be sent to a psych ward when it all ended. Pegasus was so focused on helping he started falling behind in school and lost his chance to come here to America on a full scholarship.
Monkey King was grounded most of the time because he was always gone and behind in school. Finally, White Rabbit, she, ummm, ended up taking her life. She wanted to go down in history as someone important. Now the world will only know one part of her life, the side she hated the most."
By now, Mouse is tearing up, but they never fall. "Can I ask what happened to Chat Noir?" "Yeah," she said, taking a deep breath before closing her eyes. "He died in battle protecting me. He'd done that before, so he was certain it wouldn't be permanent. I'd bring him back like I normally did, yet when I called the magic words, everything came back; everyone came back but him. I don't know who mourned his death more, me or Hawkmoth, turned out he was Chat's father."
Nightwing's face is unreadable, maybe sad. He doesn't say anything as he brings Mouse back to his chest, holding her close. In these moments, he hates magic because he knows the calming set of clean lenin he is breathing in isn't really her. He also hates magic because it makes his mouse suffer. It's the reason she is crying right now and the reason she really isn't his.
She can never be his because the magic takes all of her and leaves nothing for others, especially him. The magic that is slowly killing her over and over again, the one that only takes and never gives. The magic that took her past, present, and future, the one draining her every smile. "God, I hate magic." He whispers now that his mouse is finally asleep.