Madagascar (Reader Insert)

By helicrapters

1.7K 4 6

Alex, Marty, Christian, Melman and Gloria the zoo animals find themselves in Madagascar. They must find help... More

Heroes 1
Villains 1
Day at the Zoo
Marty's Birthday
Sudden Escape
Crate Talk
Stranded in Madagascar
Struggling to Go Home
Party at the Lemurs
Stopping the Fossas
Heroes 2
Villains 2
Plane Ride Home
Plane Crash
Africa Reunion
Operation Tourist Trap
Ancient Hobbies
Melman's Confession
Water Problem Gone Empty
Volcano Sacrifise and Dam Destruction
Heroes 3
Villains 3
Alex's Wish
Going to Monte Carlo and On The Run
Second Plane Crash and Blending in the Circus
Old Friends Reunion
First Circus Experience Fail
Circus Motivation
Circus Practice
London Performance
Return To New York and Ambushed
Reconcile and Afro Circus Rescue
Heroes 4
Villains 4
Antartica Origin
Private's Birthday
Meeting Dave
Chase Through Venice and Meeting The North Wind
Dave's Plan
Operation Flash, Splash and Crash
$19,000,000 Vehicle
Getting Captured
Saving the Penguins in New York
Post Credits
End Credits

Penguin Disappearance Spree

8 0 0
By helicrapters

[Inside of a plane heading to Madagascar.]

Skipper: Ugh, where the heck are we?

Kowalski: Oxygen content is low. I suggest we limit our breathing.

[Then the sound of a fart broke the silence.]

Skipper: Aw, Private!

[The four Penguins rip holes on the box to breathe for air.]

Private: Sorry. I get gassy when I fly.

Skipper: Toot sweet! He does!

Kowalski: We must be on a plane!

[The Penguins move the box to be free. Skipper, Kowalski, Roberto and Rico have darts on their necks and Private has a dart on his butt.]

Kowalski: What did North Wind do to us?

Private: Oh! They gave us badges!

[All but Private take off the darts.]

Skipper: Not badges, tranquilizer darts! Classified! That low-down dirty dog is trying to kick us off the mission!

Roberto: They want us go not go on the mission. We are all targets now.

Kowalski: Classified thinks we can't save the penguins because we're just “penguins”.

Skipper: Well, penguins are our flesh and feathers! They're us! And if anyone's gonna save us, it's us.

Kowalski: But, Skipper, we've gotta be five miles up. That pretty much limits our options.

Skipper: I make my own options.

Roberto: Brilliant move, Skipper, but now we seem to be outside the plane.

Skipper: Well, kind of got caught up in the moment. Well, hindsight's 20/20. Okay, Kowalski, your turn to pick up the slack.

Kowalski: Uh…

Private: Oh, why don't we catch that plane?

Skipper, Kowalski, Roberto and Rico: (Screaming)

Pilot: Bird strike, log it.

Skipper, Kowalski, Roberto, Rico and Private: (Screaming)

Kowalski: We've got another target at 12 o'clock.

Skipper: Good, it's only 11:30. Follow me, boys! We're going in hot.

[Private starts burning like a meteor.]

Skipper: No one likes a show-off, Private.

Roberto: Aim for first class!

Private: I'm okay!

Skipper: Kowalski, where does this aircraft go?

Kowalski: From the odd shape of this bagel, I'd say we're headed for Paris.

Skipper: France? Forget it! Not with their tax laws!

Kowalski: Then I would suggest a mid-air transfer.

Skipper: Affirmative.

Private: Peanuts! Peanuts! Peanuts, peanut, peanut, peanut, peanut, peanut, peanut! We're out of peanuts, Skipper!

Skipper: Try pretzels, Private. Bingo. There's our ride, boys. Can't stay, doll. Danger is my mistress. Ah! Rico, more height.

Private: Pretzels! Pretzels! Pretzel, pretzel, pretzels! We're out of pretzels!

Skipper: Yeah? Then we're leaving just time, 'cause these folks are gonna freak!

Kowalski: Deploy flaps.

Skipper: Stay on target!

Private: We're gonna catch it, we're gonna catch it! Crikey! We're not gonna catch it!

Kowalski: Wait a minute, where's Skipper?

Skipper: Time to get creative. Start grabbing boxes, boys.

Private: Going long!

Skipper: Oh, Private, stop playing with those backpacks. Find something useful. Now we're talking. Let's get to work.

Kowalski: 400 meters. 300 meters.

Skipper: Speak American, Kowalski!

Kowalski: Sorry, sir. 218 yards. 109 yards.

[They Landed safely in the bouncing castle]

Skipper: Okay, then. It's clear what we need to do next.

[Moments Later]

Kowalski: That feels right.

Skipper: Impressive bouncing, boys. Now, then, back to civilization. If we're gonna take Dexter down, we need to know where he's gonna strike next.

...

[Meanwhile]

Brazilian Penguin: Yeah!

Brazilian Penguins: Goal!

Dr. Octavius Brine: Elijah, would you please take them away.

Eva: Penguin footprints, still warm. We just missed Dave.

Classified: Blast it, he's gone.

Corporal: So many penguins! Aah!

Short Fuse: Boss! He's stress-eating again!

Classified: Corporal?

Eva: There, there.

Short Fuse: Rub the angry out of the tummy.

Classified: Corporal? Fo... focus. We are going to save those helpless penguins, because... we are the North Wind, and no one... no one breaks the Wind.

Corporal: No one breaks the Wind.

Classified: There's a good Corporal. Now, we rescued those four penguins already, didn't we? Shipped them off all cozy and snug to a Madagascar safe... How come there's beeping?

Eva: Sir, those penguins... They never made it to Madagascar.

Classified: What? Well, where the dickens are they?

...

[Back with Skipper, Kowalski, Rico, Roberto and Private as they pop out of the sewers then Rico vomits.]

Skipper: Kowalski, what are our coordinates?

Kowalski: From my calculations after we escaped from Lockdown's ship, we've arrived in the center of Dublin, Ireland.

[Dublin, Ireland]

Skipper: All right, soldiers, we got to blend in. Riverdance. No time to kiss the Blarney stone, boys. We need to find intel on Dave's location, pronto. [sees a looking octopus] Aha! [grabs the octopus and slaps it] All right, you, where's Dave! Give us the goods. Spit it out! Don't make me use shillelagh!

Kowalski: Sir, that's... That's a baby squid.

Skipper: [Stops and looks at it crying] Sorry, laddie. [Takes the baby squid away while it chuckles] Ugh. Stranded on the Emerald Isle without a single clue. Well, so much for the luck o' the Irish.

Kowalski: Skipper, look!

Skipper: [Looks at the monitor] Huh? Begorrah! Does anyone speak Gaelic?

Kowalski: No. But it looks like Dave's been busy. He's stolen penguins from Guadalajara!

Private: Madrid!

Skipper: Paris!

Kowalski: Athens!

Skipper: Bangalore!

Roberto: Dusseldorf!

Private: Osaka!

Kowalski: Rio de Janeiro!

Private: Nairobi!

Skipper: Amsterdam!

Private: Baton Rouge!

[Just then Rico spits Dave's snow globes]

Skipper: [Looks at them] Dave's snow globe collection.

Kowalski: It's every zoo and aquarium he got kicked out of!

Skipper: Don't tell me where he has been, tell me where he will have has been next.

[Rico starts gagging.]

Skipper: Wait, what is it, Rico? It's a book! It's a film! It's a play! First word. Two syllables. Sounds like “huyh”... Sounds like "huuh"? Sounds like "hyech!" What starts with "hyech"?

[Rico spits out the Shanghai snow globe.]

Skipper: Shanghai.

Kowalski: Dave hasn't been there yet, Skipper. If we hurry, we can still stop him.

Roberto: And stop to all of these.

Skipper: Nice work, Rico. Pack your bagpipes, boys. It's time to blow this potato stand.

[The penguins get inside an empty box as they use the tape to seal shut the box and puts a stamp as they got inside a delivery truck to Shanghai].

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