Author's notes:
I'm so happy y'all like the last chapter. So I decided to upload this very early new chapter this week XD
Gojo: It's just a prank, bro
The prank:
~~~
3 weeks before 'Ligma'
Haruto was worried when he saw the way Gojo and Yorozu were acting today. Had they fought last night? Gojo had just suddenly forced Yorozu out of his room and didn't let her get back in anymore. He decided to ask Gojo about it tonight.
After the busy day, Haruto opened Gojo's door, "Satoru-"
Four pairs of eyes turned to him, uh, more like one pair, two pairs and one blindfolded.
Haruto stepped out, closed the door, counted to 3 and opened the door again.
Yup, still the same.
Gojo was in his room playing Karuta (card game) on the floor with Yorozu and Sukuna.
Why was Yorozu chilling in Gojo's room? When did Sukuna get here? How was Yorozu so calm about being in the same with the King of Curses?
What???
Sukuna nodded at Haruto in greeting, while Yorozu was gawking at him as she kept shooting glances between him and Sukuna.
Yorozu leaned to Gojo and whispered, "He knew about you and Sukuna?"
Gojo confirmed it with a smile, "He knew."
Yorozu relaxed and bowed her head to Haruto, "Haruto-sama."
Gojo waved at Haruto and said excitedly, "Come in! We've just started a new round. But we can stop now because we have something really important to tell you."
"Here we go again," Sukuna mumbled. He got off the floor and climbed on Gojo's bed which was full of... paper cranes?
Haruto got in the room and closed the door. As Gojo was tidying the cards on the floor, Haruto sat next to him, "Alright, what's going on?"
"Sukuna got here yesterday and Yorozu found out. We talked and now we're okay. But that's not important-"
That was so brief! How was it 'not important'?
Gojo ignored Haruto's obvious curiosity about what happened yesterday. Gojo didn't want to tap into that chaotic mess. He jumped straight to the point, "Let me tell you about the Ligma Event!"
Haruto gave up on his inquiry about the happenings of yesterday and proceeded to listen about the most bizarre plan he had heard in his life. Both Gojo and Yorozu were so eager to explain their master plan. Sukuna added a few ideas here and there. Haruto got on board very soon after.
Not only could the plan get rid of Gojo's marriage, it could also annoy the damn Zenins. Haruto had always disliked the Head of the Zenin Clan. The Zenin Head thought he was tough shit. He had also disrespected Haruto the moment Haruto's mind control curse technique got weakened due to the Binding Vow. (Haruto's Binding Vow of never mind controlling sorcerers of sorcerer clans)
"Haruto, do you think the healers could fake diagnosing me with Ligma?"
"I don't think the healers will be convincing enough."
"Then who?"
"Kai might be helpful-"
"I DON'T NEED THAT CREEPY ASSHOLE'S HELP!"
"Whoa, who's Kai?" came Yorozu's curious tone.
"He's a weirdo who's been trying to seduce my uncle!"
"Ooooh~"
"No, Satoru..."
"You really think he's the best person for this? I don't trust him."
"There's no one the elders will trust more. I have ways to make him cooperate."
"Humph, fine."
---
That was how it led to Haruto asking for Kenjaku's assistance. Haruto didn't trust Kenjaku. But that didn't mean he couldn't use him.
Kenjaku didn't even look up from his data log as Haruto asked him. Kenjaku replied, "No."
Kenjaku didn't care about Gojo's marriage and he hated that boy with all his heart (or more like, all his brain). There was no reason for him to help Gojo.
"It won't take long. You just need to help me age a parchment and make a fake ancient scroll."
Kenjaku refused to look at Haruto, "You also want me to recite that script about 'Ligma'. Why is it called Ligma anyway?"
"Ligma balls-"
"Oh my God, Haruto. I thought you were better than this."
"You won't help me?"
"No."
"Please?"
"No."
"Please? Pretty please? Kenjaku, Kenny, Kenja-boo~"
Kenjaku looked up from his logs to stare at Haruto in shock. Kenjaku knew of this goofy side of Haruto. It's rare that Haruto would show it to anyone other than his nephew. But what the hell did Haruto just call him?
Haruto was surprised that the tips of Kenjaku's ears actually turned pink.
Huh. That's... interesting. There's still a possibility that Kenjaku was faking it. Either way, Haruto could work with it.
Haruto leaned forward and plopped his elbows on Kenjaku's desk, "Kenjaku, if you don't help me, I'll be upset."
Kenjaku had regained his composure and replied blankly, "Uh huh, and?"
"And if I'm upset, I won't be in the mood to do experiments. Then I can't do experiments with you."
"You think I'd give a shit about that?"
Haruto moved closer, his face an inch apart from Kenjaku's. He looked into Kenjaku's eyes and smiled innocently, "Do you?"
Kenjaku kept eye contact for a while before turning away, "Tell me the plan again and give me the script. I'll get the fake scroll done in a few days."
Haruto didn't expect Kenjaku to agree just like that. He thought he'd have to bribe him with experiment resources.
Kenjaku leaned back away from him and gave him a side-eye, "Don't expect me to be doing this for free. I'll write you a list tomorrow and you better get me all those resources. I also need a new batch of humans for tests."
That's the Kenjaku he knew.
Haruto sat on Kenjaku's desk and crossed his legs. He replied casually, as if Kenjaku's request wasn't outrageous, "My puppets can get you non-sorcerers. The same as last time? Ten? Dead or alive?"
"I want fifty, alive."
It was Haruto's turn to give Kenjaku a side-eye, "No. Do you know how hard it is to smuggle those monkeys into the clan? At most twenty."
Kenjaku chuckled, "Twenty it is, then."
This was what Kenjaku liked about Haruto, the two extreme sides of him. The stern but kind Head of Clan that genuinely wanted the best for his people, and the cold manipulative side of him that disregarded lives of people he deemed of no importance. Kenjaku knew he was the only one that knew about Haruto's secret side. It was making him feel something he shouldn't.
"Thanks, Kenja-boo. I can help you with some of the logs regarding the Prison Realm."
Kenjaku cringed, yet somehow feeling warmer, "Don't call me that."
"Hm? What did you just say?"
Kenjaku sighed in exasperation and continued writing his data logs. It was difficult to focus with Haruto's ass on his desk. Haruto held his data logs with one hand, while his other hand was twirling a strain of his smooth white hair absentmindedly.
Kenjaku was regretting his life choices. He clearly knew Haruto was using him. Haruto was lucky Kenjaku thought he's hot.
---
The day of the Ligma Event
It was in the late morning. Haruto and Sukuna were already at their positions near the Zenin Clan. Gojo was pacing around in his room.
Yorozu tapped her foot impatiently, "Satoru, we need to start the plan now."
"I know! But everyone always says I'm fake as hell. What if they saw through my acting?"
Yorozu didn't think this was an issue. "You just have to fight me, Satoru. People can't even see you if you teleport fast enough."
Gojo continued to pace around, "I still have to fight you as if I'm angry with you. But I'm not."
Yorozu rolled her eyes. She looked around and found two nice gold bracelets that were kept in very good condition. Gojo must've cared about them a lot. Not bothering to take a closer look, she just reached and knocked them off the shelf. It immediately got damaged on impact.
Gojo yelled, "Why did you do that?! I spent so long designing and making them!"
Yorozu replied smugly, "I was just helping you to get into the right mood." Gojo had destroyed her garden which she had designed and maintained for ten years. He deserved this.
If only Yorozu saw what kind of gold bracelets she broke, she'd regret it so much. What she did just delayed another important plan. Those were not just some fancy jewelry.
They were engagement bracelets.
Gojo was truly angry then. He threw his blindfold onto the ground and glared daggers at Yorozu. If looks could kill, she'd be dead.
Yorozu stepped back nervously, "H-hey, Satoru..."
"Hollow Pur-"
"HOLY SHIT! At least take the fight outside! Damn-"
---
Sukuna and Haruto were somewhere outside the Zenin Clan. Haruto was considerate enough to bring two chairs and roasted chestnuts for them to enjoy the show. They had sat down as they waited.
At first, Gojo was against having Sukuna in their plan. He didn't want to risk Sukuna getting found out. But Sukuna wanted to help and Haruto promised to keep Sukuna's curse signature hidden. Gojo relented in the end, thinking if Sukuna would be safe, he wouldn't mind him participating in this fun plan together.
Sukuna munched on his chestnut, "What is taking them so long?"
Haruto peeled another chestnut and replied, "Maybe Satoru is having stage fright."
Sukuna gave Haruto a look. Stage fright? Gojo Satoru, the shameless strongest sorcerer, having stage fright?
Haruto shrugged, "Everything is possible when it comes to Satoru."
They didn't have to wait long. Sounds of explosions were getting closer. Gojo soon appeared above the Zenin Clan along with Yorozu.
Gojo winked at Sukuna when he located him with Six Eyes. He started blasting Hollow Purples at Yorozu, while actually aiming for the Zenin elders' houses. He had wanted to do this for a long time. He wouldn't miss this chance when Haruto allowed him to blow up their houses. Gojo was having the time of his life.
The moment the Zenins got out of their clan, Haruto got ready.
"Domain Expansion: Nightmare Echo ."
Everyone was inside his domain in a second. The Zenins couldn't sense the difference between reality and illusions. Haruto casted invisibility over himself and Sukuna (including the chairs and chestnuts). Only Gojo and Yorozu could see them.
The show began.
---
Gojo was being very dramatic when he was acting as if he was in agony. He had been worried for a moment that he was being too fake. But no one seemed to notice. In fact, the reactions of the Zenins were hilarious. So he just went all out with his acting. He knew Yorozu was having as much fun as him.
"Just drop the fan! You are hurting him!"
As the Zenin Head dropped the fan, Sukuna quickly activated his fire curse technique to burn it to dust before it hit the ground. He controlled floating balls of flame to circle around Gojo and Yorozu.
Haruto also did his part beautifully. He controlled the illusions to change the weather. Black clouds and loud thunder. It was as crazy as Gojo requested. Gojo originally wanted there to be triple rainbows under black clouds to show it was a sign of 'the gods', Ligma being a curse of gods and all. Sukuna said it was too much, so Gojo canceled that out of their plan. Haruto thought it was funny how much Gojo was so willing to listen to Sukuna.
Gojo let go of Limitless and fell. He made sure that he was facing Sukuna. He had calculated the angle that the way he fell would look the best. He angled his chin a few degrees upwards with his eyes fluttering close in 'great pain'. With the sunlight shone on him in that angle, he would fall in a fragile but sexy way.
Sukuna, look! Gojo knew he looked absolutely gorgeous right now.
Gojo was very disappointed that Sukuna hadn't paid much attention when he checked with Six Eyes. All Sukuna cared about was his roasted chestnuts. Sukuna preferred food over his beautiful boyfriend :(
Yorozu swooped in to catch him. It was all following according to plan,
until it didn't.
Yorozu suddenly thought it was a good idea to shove his face into her chest.
Gojo immediately struggled. She was suffocating him!
"Hang in there, Satoru." Yorozu said as she pushed his head deeper.
Hang in there, his ass! He couldn't breathe!
As the thunder cracked louder, Yorozu leaned in and said, "That's for kicking me in the waist."
That was literally 3 weeks ago and he was drunk! And it was her fault that she spiked his drink! Come on!
The balls of flame circling around them flared even more in warning. Yorozu quickly stopped pressing Gojo's face so hard. Gojo could finally breathe. Aw, Sukuna was actually paying attention all along.
Soon, the lightning struck the flames. It was to increase the dramatic effect. It was also a way for Haruto to take some curse energy from Sukuna's flames to reduce the burden of supporting his large draining domain expansion.
When Gojo thought it was time, he pushed Yorozu out of the way. The light beam in the sky shot down on him. It was very bright for the Zenins so they couldn't see him. But the brightness was adjusted to be bearable for everyone else who was a part of the plan. Sukuna's flames went inside the beam and the illusion absorbed them fully. Gojo sat at the centre of the beam and waved happily at Sukuna. Sukuna smiled and returned a small wave of fondness.
Within the beam, Gojo turned to shoot Red continuously at the 'sky' to help Haruto fuel the domain when Haruto couldn't drain energy from Sukuna's flames anymore. It could also make the effect of the beam turning red even more realistic. The dangerous aura from Gojo's Red combined with the illusions would be more than enough to strike fear in the Zenins' hearts.
Haruto motioned to Gojo when he was about to cancel the beam and canceled his domain overall. Gojo quickly changed his position and knelt down. He ruffled his hair to give himself a tired disheveled look.
When the beam was gone, it was Gojo's final act at the Zenin Clan. Gojo took it as a chance to get revenge on Yorozu for suffocating him.
"Satoru, are you alright?"
"I'm fine-" Gojo 'fainted' as elegantly as he could. Then when he was about to slump against Yorozu, Gojo forcefully smacked the side of head against Yorozu's chest. He knew it was going to hurt a lot for Yorozu for sure.
It did. It had hurt a lot!
While the guards were fussing over Gojo, Yorozu was on the verge of tears because of the pain in her chest. Gojo knocked the air out of her. Luckily, it was reasonable for her to be on the verge of tears when her fiance just fainted .
After a few moments of people panicking, Yorozu took Gojo back to the clan.
Haruto and Sukuna packed away their chairs and snacks. They sneaked away before anyone noticed them.
Onto the last part of their plan!
---
This should be the easier part of the plan.
It wasn't.
It was the hardest part. Gojo could see with his eyes closed using Six Eyes. Gojo never expected Grandpa to stay for the whole time. While Gojo was touched that Grandpa cared about him that much, he had been lying still on the bed for hours and it was getting difficult. He also had missed lunch and he was hungry.
Then Gojo's stomach growled. Gojo was panicking internally.
Haruto also panicked slightly. But they were lucky that everyone else in the room was too distraught to realize the growl.
Haruto considered for a moment before tapping Gojo's arm, silently informing him to not worry. Haruto had an idea.
Haruto headed out of the infirmary to find Kenjaku.
Kenjaku put down the script and placed the fake ancient Ligma scroll in his sleeve when he saw Haruto, "It's time?"
Haruto shook his head, "No. I need laxatives."
Kenjaku just stared at him and drawled, "If you have trouble taking a shit, you should see a healer-"
Haruto quickly explained, "No, it's not for me. It's for my father. I need him to leave the room."
Kenjaku was amused. "You are forcing your old man to leave by drugging him?"
It sounded so wrong when he put it like that. Haruto was embarrassed and said, "Yes..."
"You can still ask the healers for them."
"The healers will report it back to my father. He'll get suspicious."
Kenjaku sighed, "Alright, I'll get you some laxatives."
"Give me tasteless ones. I know you have those."
"I'm not stupid, Haruto. I won't give you detectable ones when you are using it to drug someone."
"Aw thanks, Kenja-boo."
"Stop-"
Later, Haruto placed the laxative in Grandpa's drink without anyone noticing, successfully getting him away. With Grandpa gone, Haruto ordered the servants to get out for a moment to let him be alone with his nephew.
Gojo immediately sat up and stretched when everyone else was gone.
"Urgh, I didn't know this was going to be this difficult."
"It's almost done, Satoru. I think the elders will find Kai soon."
"They better. Has Sukuna gone back home?"
"He's back in his shack. He wanted to stay until the plan was finished. But I told him you'd be less worried if he was safe back home."
"Yes. Thanks, Haruto."
Haruto handed Gojo some mochi. Haruto couldn't sneak in more lunch without being suspicious. The mochi should be enough for now.
After a while, Gojo was just chilling and eating his last mochi when his Six Eyes alerted him that Grandpa was coming back.
"Oh shit! Hide this!" Gojo shoved his mochi to Haruto.
Haruto gave Gojo a sip of his drink and gave him a napkin to wipe his mouth. Then Haruto threw everything that wasn't supposed to be here out of the window. They hurriedly got back to their original positions.
Grandpa didn't notice anything wrong when he was back with his servants.
---
Even though the process was a bit chaotic, everything turned out fine in the end. Yay.
~~~
Author's notes:
Yes, Gojo made those engagement bracelets. I'll invite y'all to the wedding when it happens.
Thanks for the comments and votes