Jude
"So, only a few more weeks and we can take this off." The doctor says smiling at my fiancé. We're at her doctors appointment to see how her foots healing.
"Weeks?" Harmony asks, eyes wide.
"Yes, unfortunately we can't take the boot off just yet." The doctor smiles sympathetically.
Harmony looks to me and then down at the boot that's been causing her a lot of havoc. Frowns down at her new public enemy.
"Hey—" I nudge her gently.
"At least it will be off for the wedding." I offer as she looks at me. Hoping to cheer her up a bit.
She looks down at her wedding ring, then back at me and smiles, the way I adore.
"Yeah, you're right." She smiles.
I throw an arm around her, kiss her cheek to reassure her some more. She's a lot calmer now as the doctor explains the rest of her healing process and what she should be doing. Taking it easy, but also trying to walk on it a little more.
"Is there some type of boot customising place?" Harmony asks the doctor once he finishes up explaining the next stages of her healing process.
He looks at her confused and then to me to see if she's being serious. I shoot him over a half smile, one that says, yes she's being serious and sorry for the ridiculous question.
"Um, I don't think so..." He replies.
She scrunches up her face in utter confusion as she looks at him as if his answer is the most complex thing ever.
"Why not?" Tilts her head.
He looks to me again. Probably for help. He doesn't know my fiancé— this is only the start.
"I...I'm not sure. It's a bit hard to customise a boot compared to a cast." He offers her.
"Seemingly so. You can get coloured casts. Pink, blue, green. I'd have a pink one if I had a cast on my foot. I look good in pink." She rambles and I hold back a laugh as I watch her talk the doctors ear off and the doctor look at her as if she's an alien speaking a foreign language.
Which for the record— she must be. As I've never seen a human being on this earth have a face like hers. Absolutely and utterly gorgeous. One of a kind too.
"I'm sure you do." He smiles. A bit unsure and I think a bit scared.
"I know I don't have a cast anymore because the boot is the next stage of making my foot heal. But really! They need to make coloured boots! Do you even know how hard this is to style? And I'm a stylist! One of the best in London. I've styled Bella hadid, Taylor Russell, footballers, f1 drivers—and yet I can't style this stupid boot!" She continues.
Poor lad looks absolutely baffled by my fiancé's rant so I decide to cut in and save him before she sends him into a breakdown.
"Is that all doc? Anything else we need to know about her foot?" I question making eye contact with him.
There's a silent thank you in his eyes as he turns to look at me.
"No, that's all for now until the next check up." He states.
"Great. Thank you." Stand and then hold my hand out for my girl to take.
She takes it as if it's second nature which it is because us holding hands has never been something we consciously have to think about.
"Thank you doctor." Harmony smiles.
"If you have anymore patients with a boot, do see if they too would like theirs customised. This might be a brilliant little business venture. You and I could collaborate. Of course I'd design how it looks but you'd be good to actually make sure it's wearable and works." She adds. As I've said many times, she's something else.
"Oh, yes..." The doctor replies awkwardly.
"Alright you, let's go." Place my hand on the small of her back as I guide her towards the door.
"Think up some ideas!" She calls out before I briskly pull her out of the room completely.
We get back home twenty minutes later and Harmony goes straight into wedding mode, which by the way she's been doing since I proposed.
That night I thought I'd get her all to myself. Show her how much I love her, in all the ways that require no talking. But it wasn't that way at all. It was me, her and her wedding book. The book she'd been making for years with a very extensive and detailed plan of her future wedding day.
She had the book open on our bed, glasses on, hair pulled back as she read through the pages, making notes on her MacBook about what needed to be changed, what worked well and what didn't.
Tried to tear her away. Plant a few kisses on her neck which she always enjoys and distracts her a lot. She wasn't having it. Pushed me away with a little too much force for someone that was in a car crash two months ago.
Decide to not test the waters as she's sat in the living room with the book out, materials around her, magazines there too. Laptop on her lap, glasses on. She looks very serious and I know if I so much as breathe near her, she just might use that boot she hates to send me flying.
"Fucking hell weddings are stressful!" She sighs, hands on her head.
I slowly and cautiously because my fiancé can be vicious, approach her. Take a seat beside her on the floor.
"There's so much to think about! And not enough time!" She huffs looking to me.
"Baby, we have a year." It's April right now. The both of us decided to wait until next year June to get married. Mainly her idea to wait until summer. I'm ready to marry her right now. Elope.
"I know! But this years already going so fast. It feels like we're not going to have time to plan! I still need to choose between Italy and Greece for our wedding." Italy because that's where we re-united after a year. Greece because that's where I took her for her birthday and where we fell in love.
"Well, where are you most excited to go?" I ask, peering over her shoulder at the open book on the location page.
She thinks for a second, bites that bottom lip of hers that I love as much as I love literally everything else of hers.
"Honestly..." She looks at me.
Big smile appears on her face. "Italy brought us back together. Although there were a few...Rocky moments there. I think it will be nice to get married there. Make more memories, better ones. It'll be the place our stars re-aligned and became one big bright star."
My own face lights up as she explains. I love the way the thinks. The way she sees the world. She sees the beauty in everything. Everyone else may see a weed. But harmony? She sees a flower growing in a unique place.
"Then I think, Italy is perfect." Lean in and kiss my favourite girl.
"Then it's the question of, lake Como, the place everyone gets married— or Padura."
"Padura." I say without hesitation. That place will always have a special place in my heart how I know it will for Harms. I grew up on that trip. Took responsibility, opened up. That trip brought me so much. Closure, knowledge, understanding. Without it, we wouldn't be where we are now.
"Okay!" She beams excitedly but then a frown appears a fraction of a second later.
"That means we have to let go of Greece." She sighs.
"Not necessarily." Take her hand in mine.
"We can go to Mykonos for our honeymoon. It'll be like your birthday trip all over again. Just this time we've admitted we're absolutely infatuated with each other." I grin.
"Infatuated huh?" She smiles playfully.
"Yep." Kiss her again. She smiles into it.
"Thank you for being the decision maker in this." She rests her head on my shoulder.
"Always and forever." Lift her hand to my lips and kiss it.
Her phone rings which interrupts our moment.
She sits up, grabbing her phone beside her and bringing it to her ear.
"Hey mum." She says warmly.
They have a small conversation which seems nice because Harmony's laughing and smiling and then her smile drops, she looks to me how she always does when she feels upset or scared or uncomfortable. I can immediately tell somethings wrong.
"Why does he even want to do that?" She asks and I'm trying to put the pieces together on who she's talking about.
Some silence as her mum replies and then Harms goes to speak again.
"I'll ask Jude." My fiancé says, looking at me again. She looks displeased and annoyed.
"Okay mum, I'll text you and let you know."
"Love you too, bye." She ends the call and takes a breath.
"Harms, what's wrong?" I ask instantly, reaching to hold her hand.
"My dad wants to have dinner with us." She cringes as she says it.
I raise my eyebrows. Surprised seeing as he fucked off when she was in hospital.
"Why?"
She shrugs. "Mum says he heard we're getting married. Wants to talk to us about it."
Weird.
I try to read her face to see how she's feeling. But she kind of looks stoic.
"Do you want to?" I ask gently. Rub her arm soothingly.
She shrugs again. "Not particularly. But I guess we can go and see what he wants."
I nod slowly. "If that's what you want?"
She looks down at the floor.
"Yeah. I guess." Her voice is quiet. Cracking slightly.
"I'm here, whatever you decide I'm here." Cup her face with my hand. Get her to look in my eyes so she can feel supported.
"I love you. Thank you." She smiles sadly.
"I love you more." Kiss her forehead.
She picks her phone up, texts her mum and then rests her head back on my shoulder and we sit on the living room floor in silence for a bit.
*
We're in the car on our way to Roses' house.
Told Harms and Rose it would be better to do this impromptu family dinner at home then at a restaurant seeing as the paparazzi will most likely be casing the place the minute they find out we're there and the last thing my fiancé needs on top of what she already has going on with her injuries is articles coming out about her and her dad and the history there.
Harms is really nervous. She hasn't said she is but I can see it all over her face. She's tense. Held onto my hand the entire drive.
I park up outside of Rose's house that I realise I haven't actually been to before.
Get out and walk over to Harms door. Open it for her and help her step out.
She clutches onto my hand as we walk to the front door.
"You okay?" I ask her.
"Yeah. Fine." She replies, looking straight ahead at the door we're stood outside of.
Don't believe her for a minute but I let it pass. I'm here anyways, got her back always and forever.
Rose opens the door with a smile.
"Aw my beautiful daughter and son in law!" She smiles pulling us into a hug. You know how I love calling Harms my fiancé? And how I say it probably after every other sentence? Rose is like that with the word son in law. Crazy about the whole idea of us being family. I love it though, glad I'm being welcomed with open arms.
She ushers us in, closes the door behind us.
"He here yet?" Harms asked blandly, pulling me down the hall towards the kitchen.
"No, on his way." Rose confirms as she follows us into the kitchen.
"Or is he?" Harmony mutters taking a seat at the nicely set kitchen table. Flowers and candles on there along with two bottles of wine.
She reaches for the white immediately, pours herself a tall glass. Rose and I exchange a wary look before I sit down next to her at the table.
"When did you last take your medication?" I ask her. She's not meant to drink an hour after taking her medication. Has to wait a few.
"Two hours ago." She informs with a small smile.
I nod. Watch as she takes an extremely big drink of her wine to the point that half of it is gone.
"Mum do you have another bottle?" She asks, grabbing it to pour herself more.
Rose looks at her daughter worriedly and then at me briefly.
"Um, yes." Her mum goes to the fridge to grab it. Places it on the table.
"We'll leave this until dinner." Looks at her daughter.
Harmony shrugs, nodding a little.
"What's for dinner rose?" I ask as a buffer.
"I made salmon and some rice. There's also a feta cheese salad." She smiles.
"Sounds lovely. Thank you so much." I comment
"Oh you're more than welcome!" She beams, walking to the oven to check the salmon.
Take the opportunity to check in with my fiancé.
"You okay babe?" I whisper.
She plasters on a smile. "Yeah. Fine!"
I raise an eyebrow at her so she knows I'm not buying it.
She takes my hand in hers. Forces a smile again.
"Fine. Promise!"
"Mum, is Iris coming?" She looks to her mum. Changing the subject.
"No dear. Your dad wanted it to just be us four." Rose reveals.
"Great." Harmony mutters. Takes another big sip of her wine.
The doorbell rings and I watch Harmony place her glass down. Rose leaves the kitchen to answer it.
The voices of her mum and dad are heard as they make their way to the kitchen. Harmony goes tense so I grab her hand that's on the table and hold it. She looks over at me with a grateful smile.
Her dad and I make eye contact first. He looks nervous himself. Tosses me over a smile, says hello. And then looks to his daughter who's focused on her wine glass.
"Hi, Harms." I cringe at him using her nickname as if they're on that personal level.
She looks over at him. Face emotionless.
"Hello."
He clears his throat, scratches the back of his neck as he awkwardly stands in the doorway.
"How are you?" He asks
"Oh you mean how am I since the last time you saw me for like five minuets when I was in hospital after nearly dying in a car crash? Yeah, good dad. Grand." She says sarcastically, fake smile on her face.
"You—never mind." He sighs. Takes a seat at the table. Chooses the head of the table seat. Not sure if thats coincidental or on purpose.
It's awkward. Inevitable really.
Harmony's focusing on her wine. Her dad's looking at the table. I'm looking at him and Rose is in the background dishing up the food.
"Can I help Rose?" I offer breaking the silence.
"No dear I'm fine." She dismisses waving a hand.
"Place looks lovely Rose." Dwayne compliments. Looking around.
Harmony rolls her eyes. Not discreetly either. Sips her wine.
"Thanks, Dwayne." Rose smiles politely, walking to the table with two plates. She places down Harmony's first and then mine. Comes back with two more. Places hers down and leaves Dwayne's last which I rate highly.
He thanks her as she places his plate down.
"Smells amazing. Always a good cook you were." He says.
Harmony scoffs. "Like you'd know." She mutters.
"Sorry Harmony?" He asks. Little bitterness in his voice that I don't like so I watch him extra carefully.
She flicks her eyes up at her dad.
"Just surprised you can remember she's a good cook considering you were hardly here. And then of course you took off when I was about five." Tosses him a tight lipped smile.
He huffs, rolls his eyes. "Please, don't start."
"Oh I haven't. This is the intro. It gets worse". She sasses.
He rolls his eyes again. Looks to Rose for help but she doesn't acknowledge him.
Harmony angrily stabs at her salmon, cutting it.
"Look, Harmony I—"
"Can we just get on with why you wanted to have this dinner? I don't have time for heart to hearts." She says cutting him off.
He lets out a breath, takes a bite of his salmon and mouthful of rice. Reaches for the red wine, offers rose some who nods. Pours her a glass and then himself one.
"Red?" He asks my fiancé
She holds up her glass filled with white wine, sort of flashes it at him. He nods offers it to me. I say no out of pettiness even though I prefer red to white. Got to stand by my girl. I even make a point to reach over her and grab the white in a very obvious way so he can see and so can she.
Top hers up and then pour myself a glass. She grins over at me, mouths that she loves me and I mouth back that I love her more.
"Mash would have gone lovely with this Rose." Dwayne says. Still not getting to the point of the dinner like Harmony asked him to. Seems to be stalling.
"How comes you didn't make some?" He questions.
"Because of Harmony." Rose gives me a duh kind of look.
He turns to his daughter.
"Oh? How comes you can't have mashed potatoes?" He asks
Harmony throws her dad a look as if he's an idiot. Which he is. How fucking ridiculous it is that he doesn't know the most important thing about his daughter. The most obvious thing about her.
"Is that a serious question?" She asks him.
He looks confused. "Yes?"
She lets out a laugh, shaking her head.
"Un-fucking-believable." Gulps down more wine.
"She has sensory issues, Dwayne." Rose informs.
"Oh! Yes right!" He replies as if he fucking knew from the beginning and just forgot. All of us at this table knows that isn't true.
Harmony's looking at him absolutely disgusted. I can see the sadness peaking through too. Her eyes are a little glassy.
"What's the reason for this dinner then?" Harms asks.
Her dad puts his fork down. Clasps his hands together. Looks at Harms and I.
"I'm just going to be honest-" He starts.
"I wanted to have this dinner so I could speak to the pair of you. This wedding of yours. It's...well it seems like a bit of a shotgun wedding. You two are only twenty two. So young. And now you're swanning of to get married—"
Harmony drops her fork onto her plate and it makes a loud clinking sound. She looks at her dad, disbelief on her face, mixed in with anger.
"Hardly a shotgun wedding dad. Weddings in June." She says through gritted teeth.
"Well harmony, it is. You two weren't even together a couple of months ago."
She holds my hand tighter, glares at him now. Doesn't like anyone speaking on our relationship. She's very protective over it and so am I.
"Please refrain from speaking about our relationship. You don't know shit about it." Her voice slightly rising. She's angry. Can see it all over her face.
"You're not denying what I've said though." Her dad counters.
"What's your point?" She asks impatiently.
"I'm saying that, you two broke up and haven't been together for a while. Got into an accident and now all of a sudden are engaged and getting married. It seems to be happening all too fast. You're only kids, harms you still have your whole life ahead of you—"
"How fucking dare you!" Harmony snaps.
Her dad looks surprised with her tone. Her mum looks a little on edge.
"Excuse me?" Dwayne asks. Sitting a little taller because he's an arrogant prick.
"You swan in here, after years of not giving a shit about me, and decide that you get to dictate when I get fucking married?"
"I'm just saying—"
"No you're not saying shit!" She yells
"You have no right to say anything or have any kind of opinion! You don't know Jude, you don't know our relationship. You don't even know me! You know nothing about me! Nothing about us! So you get no fucking say—"
"I'm your dad!" He shouts. Cutting off her shouting.
I hold her hand extra tight now. Feeling even more protective now he's raised his voice.
She lets out the loudest laugh.
"My dad?" She continues to laugh
"You're fucking nothing to me! You aren't my dad. You haven't done anything that a dad does! You fucked off from my life when I was five. Left mum alone with me and Iris—" she looks to her mum who looks sad.
"Started your own fucking family and gave them everything you didn't give us!"
"Years went by. Years! Of you not being in my life!"
"You'd think me getting into a life threatening accident would at least peak your interest. But of course you being the selfish prick you are, you took your sweet time to come and see me. Rocked up when you wanted, and couldn't even be bothered to stay!" She's yelling.
"Fucked off five minutes later—"
"You fucking sent me away! You and your fucking boyfriend!" Nods his head at me as he's shouting. My jaw clenches.
"Fiancé!" She corrects loudly. Standing up now which I don't think was a conscious thought. Sort of just what she does when she's feeling protective.
"You're a shit fucking dad! The worst! Cant be bothered to be there for me or Iris because you're selfish! You only care about yourself and that stupid new family of yours!" She's yelling at him over the table. Harsh finger pointing his way.
I can see him getting angrier and angrier as she tells him the truth. His jaw clenching. Fist curled into a ball. And my fiancé. She's angry too. And upset. Eyes glassy, tears of sadness and anger waiting to spill.
Rose looks distressed. Not knowing what to do. She's not going to tell her daughter to calm down because she knows Harmony's right. Plus she's a grown woman.
"You don't even deserve to have children! You're the worst person I've ever fucking met—"
He shoots up angrily.
"And you're a stupid fucking little girl that's being naive if you think this fucking marriage is going to last! My other daughter wouldn't be so idiotic like you!" He shouts in her face pointing his finger at her.
She looks taken aback. Her eyes widen, mouth slightly parted. Eyes welling up a little.
I shoot up now, push my chair out and walk to him.
"Hey!" I yell as I walk to him. Finger pointed at him.
"The fuck do you want?" He snaps
"I'm going to tell you this once and once only." Tower over him, looking down at him.
"Watch how you speak to my fucking wife." Poke his chest.
"She's not your wife, mate." Pushes me.
"She's been my wife before I even proposed. Mate." Push him back.
He sniffs a laugh, looks at me.
"You wanna go?" He asks. Tries to be all threatening but I don't give a shit.
"Nah. Not wasting my time on your pathetic arse." Turn away from him and walk back to my fiancé. Take her hand in mine.
"You need to leave, Dwayne. Now." Rose orders looking at her ex husband.
He looks at the three of us. Annoyed he didn't get to win.
"Cheers for dinner." He says to Rose before walking out, giving Harms and I one last look.
Harmony doesn't speak as he leaves. She just quietly starts to clear the table.
She's silent the entire time until it's time to say goodbye to her mum. They hug and then I hug her and we leave.
She's quiet all the way out of the house and for the first twenty minutes in the car. She just stares out of the window.
"Can we not go home yet?" She asks quietly.
I turn and look over at the best girl in the world.
"Of course baby." Anything she wants.
I detour from our route home. Decide to drive the same way we drove when I picked her up from her house a few months ago. Drive by all the nice houses.
She stares out of the window, eyes watery. I hear her sniffling a little. Wiping at her eyes. So I pull the car over to the pavement so I can park up.
Undo my seatbelt and reach over for her. Manage to pick her up from her seat and put her on my lap. Spacious car is good for moments like this.
Hold her and she finally lets out the cry I know she's been holding since she first saw her dad.
This isn't just twenty two year old Harmony crying. This is fifteen year old, ten year old, and five year old Harmony crying too. Crying for the dad she didn't have. Crying about the dad she does have. And questioning all over again why he just doesn't give two shits.
Hate seeing her like this. The woman I love in pain and hurting. Doesn't deserve it. None of this.
I don't say anything because she doesn't need my words right now. She just needs me holding her. So I do that. Let her cry in my arms. Happy to let her do that for an eternity.
Eventually she pulls back a little so she can see my face. Her beautiful face wet from tears. Somehow she looks even more beautiful. You know, when an angel cries and all.
"Thank you for defending me tonight." Her voice is small. So unharmony like. The loudest girl in the room. And yet her dad has made her go quiet.
"Always." Lower my head so my eyes are level with hers. Cup her cheek and rub it with my thumb.
"He...he just doesn't care." She says sadly. Sounds heartbroken.
"No, baby. Unfortunately he doesn't." Not going to lie to her. That's not going to make things better. We work, because we're honest with each other.
"But I do." I offer.
She looks into my eyes at that. They soften a little.
"I always will."
"I'll love you fully, loudly, maybe even annoyingly." I laugh pinching her cheek and she laughs too which I love. Love her laugh. Love making her laugh as much as I love making her smile and I've done both right now so I'm pleased.
"I'll love you for all the years your dad failed to. And more."
"Everything you missed from him. Everything he failed to give you. I'll give to you. I'll protect you. I'll cheer you on and support you. I'll give you all the advice and comfort you need." I assure.
"Look, Harms..." pause for a moment before I say this because I need to get the words right. She looks at me with hope, waiting eagerly for what I'm going go say next.
"No one can replace a dad. And I'm not trying to because I believe everyone needs a dad."
"Trying to replace him wouldn't be healthy. What I can do though, which I've been ready to do for months now. Is be the best husband I can be, for you. Fill you with all the love you deserve and make you feel valued and seen. And then one day, be the best father to our children. A better father than yours was to you. And hopefully through that. You'll heal."
She doesn't say anything for quite a while which worries me because I'm afraid I've upset her.
But then, she kisses me. It's a big kiss, would knock me clean off my feet if we were stood.
"I love you so much Jude." She tells me. Eyes locked onto mine.
"I love you even more." I reply. Kiss the top of her head.
She leans back so she's leaning against me.
"Can we sit here a bit?" She asks craning her neck to look up at me.
"Of course we can." I reply with a soft smile.
— aww what a lovely last chapter 🥹.....
— LOL joking. I'm not discontinuing the book and this isn't the last chapter. It was all a little jokey joke besties!! We've got a fair few chapters left of this wonderful ride. Love you all xxxx