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** ADHYAY 4 - THE REGRET **
*** Adinath ***
I looked back at the pond as I sat on a nearby rock after taking multiple dips inside to cleanse myself before entering the temple....it almost looked like a stream of blood as the red color consummated the water....blood of my friend....
I then looked down at my feet, to find my weapons that haphazardly thrown on the ground, drops of blood in the surrounding soil.
I turned my attention to the chunni losely held in my hands....the chunni was no longer purple and turned into a shade of magneta due to the blood....
What have I done? Not only did I kill my best friend, but I was also about to kill the innoncent soldiers....even after they surrendered....I acted like a monster.....a ruthless monster....a demon.....a devil.....
The prophecy was true.....I am not a noble man.....I am a man capable of evil....a man who needs to be restrained....
Tears rolled my eyes as the reality sinked in.....
I looked at Mahadev's temple at a distance....my heart wanted to run to him, fall on his feet, and ask for his forgiveneess....but my mind said otherwise.....despite my hand looking seemingly clean, my heart could still clearly see the blood.
I am impure.....the blood of my friend is in my hands.....I cannot enter the temple......I am not worthy of being in your presence Mahadev....I am not!
"I thought the first rule of a warrior is to honour his weapons at all times," I heard a familiar voice and my eyes widened in surprise. I haven't heard this voice in more than a decade, yet it still remained strong enough for my mind to register it.
"Sir," I immediately turned around to see the sage. The same sage who disrespected me on my 16th birthday. The same sage whose philosophy has guided me all my life. My ekalavya guru.
"You aren't supossed to put your weapons near your feet, son," he reminded once again.
"I apologize," I immediately replied and placed the weapons on the nearby rock, touched them and then touched my eyes as a way to seek forgiveneess before turning back to my guru. I immediately walked towards him to seek his blessings but stopped a couple of feet away.
"Still being the arrogant prince?" he questioned authoritatively.
I slowly shook my head and looked down in regret.
"I've committed some sins sir," I replied in a low voice, "Me seeking your blessings would be inauspicious for you."
"Did the Mahadev in your heart tell you that you've comitted a sin?" the sage calmly asked.
"I am not sure if..." I paused trying to regain my composure. "I am not sure if he resides in my heart anymore," I barely said outloud.
The sage took a step forward and slightly moved my collar to the side with no hesitation or fear of touching me, taking me by surprise.
Why does he not consider me a sinner?
"This is from the Kalika Devi temple, isn't it?" he asked examining the sacred thread across my neck.
I nodded. "It belongs to my wife," I replied, "She sent it to protect me."
"Hmm," the sage nodded. "Will your wife reside in a place that you no longer wish to stay in?" he asked.
"She stopped acknolwedging her God given brother just because I asked her to," I replied with a weak smile, "She would certainly not reside in a place that I don't feel belonged."
"Then son, what makes you think Devi ma will choose to stay in a place where Mahadev doesn't feel belonged?" he asked and I fell silent.
"Your shirt is torn," the sage continued, "Your body has scars all over. Even your shield is broken. Yet, the thread remained intact." "Certainly would mean something, don't you think?" he asked and I lowered my head and gently held onto the sacred thread.
The sage lovingly placed his hand on my head and I looked up at him like a little child.
"But sir..." I stuttered, "I killed my friend!"
"You gave him peace," the sage replied.
"I-I almost considered killing all the soldiers," I said again.
"Evil actions need to be punished," the sage replied, "Evil thoughts need to be contained and you did a wonderful job controlling yourself."
"Wasn't me," I explained, "It was my wife."
"Doesn't matter," the sage replied, "Vaishnavi and Adinath are two parts of the same soul, two thoughts of the same mind, and two lives with the same purpose."
"How-" I paused bewildered, "How do you know my wife's name?"
"I know everything," the sage smiled, "and believe me son, Verma's death is not your fault. Radhika's death is not your fault. The war is not your fault."
I listened attentively, almost as if I am hypnotized by the sages' kind words.
"Your only fault is forgetting that a soldier who surrendered is no longer an enemy. He is your subject, your citizen," he added, "but it is never too late and you are more than capable of changing the narrative." "It has to begin here," he said pointing towards my head, "Don't be harsh on yourself."
I nodded in immediate agreement as if my mind refuses to overthink or come up with arguments even if I wanted to.
"I should leave now," the sage said as he turned around and continued walking, "It's almost sunset. I need to meditate."
"Sir wait," I said and ran towards him.
"What?" he asked.
"Bless me?" I said and touched his feet.
"May you and Vaishu always be the righteous leaders and make the world a better place," he blessed touching my head.
"I have a couple more questions if you would allow it sir," I respectfully asked.
"Go for it," the sage replied.
"The first time you met me, I was an arrogant and ruthless prince who considered myself unstoppable" I said, "the second time you met me, I was a defeated and humbled king who feared the fact that I might be unstoppable. Why did you first meet me when I am at my highest, and why did you meet now, for the second time when I am at my lowest?"
"I met you neither at your highest point, nor at your lowest point, son" the sage replied, "I met you when I thought, you are going in the wrong direction and I cannot let you go in the wrong direction because a wrongly directed king is a wrongly ruled kingdom."
I nodded.
"What is your other question?" he asked.
"Are you..." I hesitated at the risk of sounding stupid, "Are you god?"
The sage chuckled at my innocence.
"I am simply his representative," he stated. "And so are you and everyone else," he added placing his hand on my cheek, "Now stop enquiring about me and go back to your people."
*** ADHYAY 5 - THE REFORMATION ***
*** Nanda ***
I impatiently stood outside the temple waiting for Adi to come back from the pond. I asked my men to wash themselves in the chambers outside the towers and so did I. We would rather not face Adi. He is terrifying. The rest of my soldiers already took Mahadev's blessings and went inside the tower along with the imprisoned enemies, however I still remained outside, waiting for my brother, so that we can go visit the temple together and after what felt like an eternity, I saw him walking towards the temple, surprisingly calm.
He paused at the weapons station and respectfully surrendered his weapons into the stand and soon approached me.
"You didn't enter the temple, bhaiyya?" he asked.
"I was waiting for you," I replied, "You alright?"
"I got a little agressive," he stated in a regretful tone, "Shouldn't have done that. I owe the enemy soldiers an apology."
"Really?" I asked surprised.
Apology? To the enemy soldiers?
"It took a lot of effort to take the devil tag off of my name," he repeated what he once told me were Vaishu's statements, "I don't want to bring that back. Agastya and the six other kingdoms are ours to rule. Their soldiers are our soldiers. Their people are our people. I don't want a relationship built on fear. I want a relationship built on love and trust. I want them to see me as their own, just like how our people do.
I smiled feeling pride and respect for my king!
"That is a very noble thought, Adi," I said tapping his cheek, "I am proud to be your brother. It is an honor."
"Say it again, feels good!" Adi weakly chuckled and my expression immediately changed.
The way this chameleon shifts from self doubt to self obsession at the speed of lightening is scary.
"We are about to enter the temple," he added, "And I am not wearing the crown. You can hit me if you want. Even use your famous stick to chase me around the temple. I deserve it, for murdering your friend, if not for my sneaky comments."
That was.....unexpected....and soooo poorly timed...now all I have for him is respect and admiration....I won't be able to hit him....
"The crown doesn't make you a king, Adi," I said outloud putting my hand on his cheek, "You make a piece of metal a crown."
He fell silent as those words as his eyes were almost filled with tears.
"Impressive word play, right?" he repeated my previous statements.
He nodded and lightly smiled. "Vaishu would've said it better, though," he still make a snarky remark and almost instinctively I smacked his head.
"You just said I am a king, you chameleon!," he said outloud offended.
"If your drama is over, come inside," I simply remarked as walked away paying no regards to his tantrums.
Mahadev's little chameleons have played enough games.
It's time we enter the temple and offer our respects.
** END OF BATTLE OF MITRAVADHANA **
(How was it?)
** 5 days later **
** Veer **
"Your highness, your highnesss," Pallu came into the temple running with an envelope into the hand and the Queen who was working on new treaties sitting on one of the raised platforms raised her eyes and looked at Pallu questioningly.
"We got a letter from the king," Pallu said excitedly and the Queen's eyes immediately softened and she blinked in disbelief.
"Wh-what?" she whispered getting up. Pallu gently pulled her a little forward and placed the white envelope in her hand.
"King Adinath sent a letter, your highness," she said excitedly, "and it is in a white envelope. That means good news, right?"
The Queen lightly nodded still in disbelief taking the envelope and slowly started to read it's contents as she walked forward, unconsiously making her way nearer to the goddess. "Vaishuuu, my sweatheart....." she read the first sentence outloud and immediately started sobbing....like a little child....and innocently wiped her tears with the back of her hands as she continued reading.
"Adi..." she whispered after reading the first few lines and chuckled after reading the next few, all the while tears rolling down her cheeks.By the time she reached the last few lines, her legs refused to support her and she fell onto her knees crying intensely, with one hand across mouth and the other firmly holding the letter close to her chest and she continued sobbing.
I am objectively a man with a very strong heart but seeing the Queen cry like a child made my heart break. The General's army is believed to be filled with strongest and most feared warriors, and today every single of them in the temple had tears in their eyes. The bravest warriors broke their hard exterior as they witnessed the cries of their beloved sister.
Even Vishnu sir wiped her tears meaning the Queen's cries made even rocks move. The rest of the Queen's cabinet were already wiping their eyes with tears of joy. Sruthi looking down at the book in her hand as a couple of her tears fell on it.
The Queen turned to the next page and I got a glimpse of the first page.
The King drew an entire picture of a man and a women holding hands to represent their union.
HE DREW AN ENTIRE PICTURE FOR THE BACKGROUND OF A LETTER!
AFTER HE FOUGHT A BLOODY WAR!
Need to keep this letter away from Nainu!
The Queen continued to read the second page as she repeatedly sobbed to compose herself and wiped her tears once again with the back of her hand almost looking like an adorable little baby and the moment she finished reding, her cries filled the temple touching every single one of our hearts.
We were wrong. We were all wrong!
We seeked to see the Queen smiled. We thought that is what would help us bring back the innocence of the Queen, but we were wrong....for we just realized....we were supossed to seek her tears....tears that would wash away the pain in her heart, tears that would break the hard exterior she had for herself in order to save the Kingdom and tears that would melt the emotionless state she had to maintain in order to think clearly while her husband is fighting for his life and his people.
The stubborn intellectuals, the fierce soldiers, the little girls who came to pray, the women who came to offer support....all of us....all of us felt her pain, her agony, her inner turmoil....her happiness....she wasn't even able to keep her head high....as she held the letter tighter and constantly looked down crying to herself....smiling to herself.....
I once remember my father telling me. A true victory, a deserving victory does not bring pride to your head. It humbles you down, it humbles you enough for your knees to touch the ground, for your heart to desire to be as close to Dharani Mata as possible, for your head to be filled with so much happiness and joy that keeping it upright would be a challenge and when I looked at the Queen I felt like I witnessed the same.
(Words inspired by the thoughts of legendary director K. Vishwanath who, when talking about a scene from his movie Sagarasangamam told that he is against using songs after the hero acheives a victory because a victory achieved after tremendous hardwork would often humble you down and brings you to your knees, as often depicted in sports)
After a while, she slowly looked up at Devi ma. I could feel like she wanted to say something but the words never left her mouth. She was so filled with joy that even talking seemed like a hinderance...so she simply chose to look at her mother. I could sense that the wife and the Queen inside her are extremely grateful. Yet the little girl inside her still has her eyes full of hope, as she innocently expected that the goddess would somehow appear infront of her, that perhaps her mother would share the overwhelming joy she is currently feeling, perhaps Devi ma's hand would appear on her head...and it did.....
The soldiers and intellectuals were bound by duty and respect. As much as we wanted to and as noble as our thoughts are we cannot touch the Queen. The Queen's cabinet is filled with their own emotions and inner turmoils. However, there is one women who identified the unsaid need of the Queen.
The women adressed as mother by everyone in the capital including the King.
Our beloved Yashoda amma!
"The fight is over, bacha," she said as she said beside the Queen and gently placed her hand over the Queen's head and the Queen almost instinctively hugged amma and continued crying.
"Adi is coming back home amma," she whispered, "Nandu bhaiyya is coming back home. The war is over! The war is over!" as the sun slowly set in the background the gentle rays once again passed through Devi ma's idol and fell over the Queen and Yashoda amma embracing each other, almost symbolizing that the goddess is also with them....sharing their joy....
This is such a beautiful and serene moment to witness.
So beautiful that I want to capture it. I continued looking making note of every detail in my mind. Perhaps I could describe it to the King once he is back....perhaps he could turn it into a potrait....a moment like this....needs to be cherished....it needs to be preserved....for it conveys a deeper meaning behind the surface.
It represents a unification. A unification of the two sides of a women. The pure innocence, love and motherliness of Yashoda amma with the strong, intelligent and fierceness of the Queen, infront of the mother of the Universe, the source of both those forces.
War never brought anything good but if there is anything that this battle taught us, it is that, women, if given wings, can lead us to a world that is beyond the imagination any man could ever have.
I turned to look at Naina as she continued smiling, admiringly looking at them from a distance and turned my attention back to Devi ma.
"My jaan already has her wings, Devi ma," I said in my mind, "and while I never cut them. I often refused to follow her in her adventures and told her to not fly high....but today I promise you....from now on, I'll tell her to never stop. I will tell her to fly as high as her heart desires. I will tell her that should she fall, my arms will always be there to catch her. I want to see her fly. Please allow me to witness how far she could go. Allow her to take me to her beautiful world."
Target for next chapter - 2K votes and 1K comments. Also please go back and vote on 87 as well. The target there is still pending, yet I uploaded because I didn't want to keep you waiting. Do me a favor and go back and vote :)
Next update - Next Saturday most likely, but if I get time mid-week and if the target is completed, I'll update earlier.
Question: When did Adi first call Vaishu love?