"Charlotte! I'm so glad you're here." My glowing younger sister exclaimed rushing away from her friends. Her light brown hair cascaded down her shoulder flowing around her sundress. She embraced me in a tight hug with her protruding stomach in between us.
This was Sarah's long awaited baby shower as we all eagerly awaited for their first child. The party was lively and filled with chatter coming from all sorts of directions.
"I wouldn't miss this for anything." I replied honestly. No matter how different we've always been, we were close. As close as we could be with our differing lives.
She lived in the quiet suburbs whereas Eric and I lived in a penthouse in upstate New York. I never cared for the quiet or the quiet stillness of this kind of life. I thrived on not staying still for too long and doing anything to keep my head from its constant rambling thoughts. I've always needed to keep myself busy.
"I'm just annoyed that Clayton couldn't come. I told him I would pay for his plane ticket but he said he was busy helping mom around the farm." My sister rolled her eyes in distaste.
"Nice to see you too, Eric. I'm glad you were able to make it." My sister said to Eric, my husband. His rough hand was wrapped around my small waist as he looked around the party.
"It'll probably not be for very long I'm afraid." Eric began. "I'm on call tonight and they're bound to need me at some point." He smiled as my sister fought a frown. "Oh, alright. I understand. At least you were able to come anyway. It's nice to see you even with your busy schedules. Tommy will be so happy."
Giving my husband a small glance silently pleading for him to at least attempt pleasantries while we're here. I just about dragged him to my sister's event. He was intent on staying at the hospital where 'he was needed the most'.
"Of course." He gave a half smile as he pulled away from me. It was clear to anyone with eyes that he didn't want nor did he belong in a party like this.
Eric wore a tailored shirt and slacks that fit him perfectly, his dark blonde hair was styled neatly. Whereas everyone else here dressed in casual denim jeans and the women wore skirts and dresses to combat the summer heat.
"I'm going to say hello to Tom." Eric excused himself as I watched him greet Sarah's husband and friends outside on the lawn.
Her husband, Tom, was outside surrounded by men as he served burgers and hot dogs to the guests. "Men." She huffed as we watched them laugh and mingle around the grill. I chuckled as we wandered onto her porch.
"All I seem to be craving is meat. Until I got pregnant I was a devoted vegetarian." She expressed frustration. "I remember." I smiled as she continued to talk and eat with mustard on the corner of her mouth.
"Tom says it means that we're having a boy," She laughed. "Either way he's thrilled about it and now he has an excuse to buy that ridiculously expensive grill he's been wanting." My sister said eating her macaroni salad and hot dog.
"He's really in his element." We watched them lovingly as sweat grew on Tom's face. Eric chatted with a few men before he excused himself to answer his phone. "This is a lovely party, Sarah. I'm glad to see mom's rose bushes are growing rapidly."
"Almost as much as I am." She groaned holding her stomach making me laugh. I couldn't help the slight sharp pang of jealousy I felt towards my kind sister. Having children was always something I wanted. But now with Eric and I's careers it was difficult to find the time.
Eric and I talked about it often but the conversation always ended the same. "We are great as we are now. We shouldn't add a child to our life to crank our style. There's so much war and violence in the world. Why would we bring a child into this?"
And in the end I let Eric have the last word not wanting to upset him further. Shoving my longing and maternal feelings deep down.
"I honestly just want to get this over with. I've been pregnant for far too long. I just hope it's quick and painless." Sarah breathed nervously. "Just tell me when and I'll be there to catch the baby." I replied, holding out my hands weakly as if to grab an imaginary ball.
"And you two? Will you and Eric be following in our footsteps soon?" She grinned. "Imagine raising our children together, Charlotte. That's all we dreamt of as kids." Sarah expressed lovingly with damp eyes. Clearly her hormones were getting the best of her.
I couldn't form words as my heart ached remembering all the times Eric refused to discuss our future. "I-" I began until Eric rushed up the patio towards me. "We have to get going. They just called me in. There is a pileup on the freeway." He expressed frankly, interrupting Sarah and I. Eric's hand held onto my wrist as I gently pulled away.
"What? But we just got here." Looking up at his dark eyes that held no ounce of kindness and remorse. "I know but I'm needed. We really have to go." He insisted, turning to Sarah as he continued to get me to leave.
"I'm not leaving my sister's baby shower, Eric. You can go ahead, I'll find my own way home." I pressed firmly in a hushed tone not wanting to argue in front of all these people.
His face hardened as my stomach clenched. I've seen that look on his face far too many times. I just wished he wouldn't lash out at me in front of my friends and family. But I knew he would never jeopardize his fake collected and sophisticated persona.
"Charlie, it's okay go ahead. You should go help those people." Sarah expressed softly clearly seeing the tension between us. His grip on my arm tightened signaling me to agree with her.
Trying to subtly pull away not wanting his manicured hand to leave a mark on my arm, but without any luck. "It was lovely seeing you again, Sarah. Please tell Tom I'm sorry I couldn't try one of his burgers." Eric said politely, sending a cold shiver down my spine at how easy it was for him to fake niceties.
Everyone believed him; it only took me after we were married to realize how manipulative and narcissistic he was. Eric forced a smile making Sarah relax not noticing how uncomfortable I was. "I will." She smiled as Eric gently pushed me away inside the house and through the crowds.
"Don't push me." I hissed, pulling away from his harsh grip as he hovered over me. I didn't dare look up at him knowing if I did I would crumble underneath him.
I trusted that he wouldn't let his emotions get the best of him while we were in public but I knew once we were alone he would put me in my place.
"I'm sorry." His entire demeanor changed, making my eyebrows furrow. Restraining the urge to flinch as he lifted his hand to my face. Tucking a strand of my hair away from my face.
"I knew we never should have come here. Look at what they do to you. Is this why you want a family so badly? You want to be like them? Don't you see how happy we are why would you want to let a child ruin that?" He questioned calmly. Thankfully we were in the corner distant rom the crowds.
"It wouldn't ruin it, it would make it more meaningful!" I pleaded for him to understand. "It's the whole reason for living. It's a gift. I want a family, Eric. I... I want to live a purposeful life, feel whole, leave a legacy behind." I expressed rapidly as tears collected in my eyes. Towered over me in the secluded hallway.
"We already have all that! You have me, you have my money and the house and your career! A baby would just hold us down." Eric hissed. "Why can't you just let it go? Am I not enough? Why does everything have to be a struggle with you?" My husband roared as I stepped back into the wall. "I don't want to do this here. Not now." Turned away from him as I noticed a few people peering over at us.
"Don't walk away from me. Don't you dare walk away when I'm talking to you!" He threatened in a low growl, grabbing my wrist yanking me back towards him. "We should leave now, or we will say things we will regret later." I pressed softly. I didn't want people staring and murmuring about us and above all I didn't want to ruin my sister's day.
He stared down at me full of irritation and hatred. "You're so ungrateful. Do you have any idea how many women would kill to be in your place? I gave you everything!" Eric continued.
"Oh yes, you're so great." I began sarcastically. "Until they find out the man you really are. A coward who hits his wife." I threatened, leaning closer to his face.
Our eyes locked as my stomach dropped realizing what I had foolishly started as I noticed his jaw tighten.
Eric shoved me into the nearby bathroom and slapped me across the face as he slammed the door. Gasping as I leaned against the wall not expecting the sudden impact.
Holding my burning cheek as hot tears pierced my eyes. My dark hair covered my face as I stumbled away from him. Breathing deeply as I leaned against the cold bathroom wall. Eric sighed heavily, stalking closer to me as I stayed still afraid to move.
"Look at what you're doing to us." He expressed as he reached out to comfort me. Eric tried to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear as my body jerked as I tried to put distance between us.
He grabbed my chin to force me to look up at him. Eric wiped away a tear that slid down my face. Clenching my jaw, staring up at him full of hatred, trying to appear strong.
"Just the thought of having a kid is tearing us apart. Why are you doing this?" He growled trying to keep his voice down. "This wouldn't even be a problem, if you wouldn't make one out of it." His handsome face was hardened, his dark brown eyes were emotionless feeding off my fear as he held me.
"You're right." I struggled to speak as my body trembled. Eric noticeably eased smiling down at me thinking that he had won like all those other times before. His infamous entitled, smug smile stared down at me.
I hated myself for not seeing his true colors sooner. As soon as we got married he turned into a completely different man knowing there was nothing I could do about it. I couldn't bear to leave him at the time I was so infatuated with him. Blaming myself thinking all of our fighting was my fault. Believing the cruel things he shouted each time blaming me for his outbursts.
Eric would apologize and swore he would never raise a hand to me again. But it was all just pretty words to keep me from leaving. I did everything I could to make him happy and love me like he once did in the beginning of our relationship. To be the funny, charming man he was with everyone else.
But Eric just continued to convince me that I was unloved and he was the only man who would tolerate me. And for a long time I believed him.
"I don't want a child... with you. I'm done. I'm done with you." I seethed with tears blurring my vision. Pushing his stern chest but he didn't budge as I rushed past him to leave.
"How dare you?!" Feeling his grip on my hair as I reached for the door handle. Eric yanked my head back, and his face came down within inches of my own. "What's happened to you?" He said in a deceptively soft voice. "Why are you testing me?"
My scalp was on fire, my heart in my throat. Eric could break my neck in an instant if he wanted to. A part of me wished he would. It would make leaving him so much easier.
He let go of me with a hard jerk away from the door and I quickly stepped away, my remaining confidence gone. Eric walked towards me with every stumble I made in an attempt to get away from him. "Don't push me, baby. As much as I love you, you are not indispensable. I could have any woman I wanted. You should be thankful to have the life I've given you."
His eyes softened and Eric let out a laugh feeding off of my obvious betrayal and pain. Feeling repulsed wondering how I could have been such a fool to have ever loved him. If only the innocent people outside knew what was really going on in here.
Eric towered over me as my lip quivered trying to remain calm and refrain from crawling into the corner like a frightened child. "Now pull yourself together. We're leaving and you will not mutter another word saying otherwise."