𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟏𝟏
Madeline walked into the Garrison with her arm linked around John. The moment they stepped inside, John smiled widely and automatically went to greet Isiah and Finn. Madeline's eyes wandered around the newly decorated pub.
She followed her husband over to the table he'd sat at and stared at the glass of gin that had been waiting for her. She just stared at it.
"Arthur seems happy." She noticed, looking at the Shelby man who stood behind the bar serving drinks. John snaked his arm around Maddie's shoulder and leaned back into his chair.
"Oi!" Tommy shouted, approaching them, "give me that!" He scolded his younger brother and took the glass of whiskey from his hands. "Keep him off the whiskey, John." Tommy instructed.
The pub was lively. She'd never seen it this busy before.
"You not drinking?" John shouted over the loud music. "What?" She asked. "Your drink— you not having it?" He repeated. Madeline looked back at the glass and her lips parted. Hesitantly, Maddie lifted it to her lips and took the smallest sip ever — hardly any of the liquid touching her tongue.
John looked away and went back to teasing his younger brother.
"I'm going to go and talk to Arthur!" She said loud enough for him to hear. He hardly clocked on to what she said and just waved her off. She dodged the already drunk people and leaned against the bar with a wide smile on her face
"Arthur!" She shouted. Arthur spun quickly to face her and threw his arms in the air. "Maddie! Our sweet Maddie! 'Ello you." He greeted, holding a bottle of champagne in the air.
"Can I get ya a drink?" He pointed it to her. She shook her head simply. "No thank you, Arthur." She refused. "The pub, it's all new."
"Yeah— yeah, do ya like it?"
"It's very...gold. It's lovely." Madeline complimented. Arthur nodded in agreement and reached into his pocket for a lighter. "Here you are, Lizzie, let me get that for ya— there you are my darling." He said, lighting the cigarette the dark haired woman held between her lips.
Madeline stood a glance of the woman and then looked back at Arthur. Lizzie. Where had she heard the name Lizzie. Oh...Lizzie. Realisation hit her when she finally remembered who she was.
Lizzie was the woman Katie told her about. The one John had planned to marry but Tommy had refused — setting him up with Maddie instead.
"You must be Madeline." Lizzie said, her tone displaying no type of emotion.
Madeline swallowed. "Sorry— have I met you before?" She replied, keeping a smile present on her lips. Lizzie shook her head. "I work for Thomas— his accountant. And you're Johns wife I believe."
"I am." Maddie said, trying to read her.
"You got the good one." Lizzie assured her before spinning on her heels and going elsewhere.
"I think there's someone you ought to say hello to." Tommy said across from her, catching her attention. Madeline raised an eyebrow at him and followed his gaze to the door where an all too familiar face had entered.
Theodore.
Her eyes shifted to John who had noticed almost immediately and shifted angrily in his seat. "Did you invite him?" Madeline asked Thomas. He shook his head and shrugged with his lips pursed together. "Someone must have."
"Or he's here to cause trouble." She mumbled.
Madeline was quick to get to John as he'd gotten up from the table and fixed his collar. "Leave it." She hissed, a serious look in her eye. John looked past her and over to Theo who was yet to notice them. "John, i said leave it." She warned.
John took a few steps back and shrugged her hands off him. She shook her head and debated going over to Theo herself. After swiping a glass of whiskey from a table, she went over, unaware that he had came with anybody as they'd gone off somewhere else.
"Your nose, is it healing well?" She asked in a slightly tormenting way but intending for him to laugh. He turned his head to her and gave her a harmless once over. "Yeah— healing fine."
She held up the glass for him to take and he did. "You didn't come here to cause trouble did you? Cause if you did i'd suggest turning and going back because it won't end too well."
"I've came to see how my sister is," He said with a grin, looking over to John.
"Your sister or her husband?" Madeline asked, crossing her arms. Theo laughed and looked down whilst shaking his head. "Ya know— i brought someone here with me tonight. Thought ya might want to introduce him to your new family." Theo said.
The tone in his voice sent shivers up her spine. His head turned to the left and when she looked, her eyes landed on a man she had definitely seen before.
"Who's he?"
Theodore stifled a laugh. "Come on— Mads, search in that brain of yours."
She looked at Theo then at the man..at Theo then at the man. And it suddenly clicked. Not only had she seen him the year previously when he'd been hanging about the alley beside the Garrison — it was Theodore's bloody dad.
Her mouth went dry and she glared at him. "And why have you brought him here?"
"Well— he reached out. Said he wanted to have a new start." Theo shoved his hands into his pockets after putting the glass down. "He abandoned you, Theo." Madeline reminded him.
She could feel his eyes on her. Theo clicked his tongue on the roof of his mouth. "Just talk to him— that's all i'm asking."
Something wasn't right. She simply shook her head. "Enjoy your night, Theodore." Maddie huffed, walking off.
Theo's dad remained where he'd been standing and watched her return to the bar where John was now getting another drink. "What does he fucking want?" John hissed.
She shrugged and held onto his arm in search for reassurance. John inched closer to her and pulled her a stool. Once she sat upon it, he stood behind her and draped his arms across her front with his chin resting on her shoulder.
"I don't know but I doubt he's came here without some sort of mission."
John mumbled a few angry words under his breath but didn't take it any further.
Thankfully, much time had passed and Theo had kept to himself. But Madeline couldn't shake the strange feeling that had washed over her. "Excuse me," she whispered to John, getting up and walking to the back room of the Garrison which was completely empty.
Her head was spinning with thoughts and the strange anxiety that had filled her since seeing Theo's dad. And as if on queue, he entered after carefully following her.
"I haven't seen you since you were a little girl." He spoke, his voice laced with venom. She ignored him. "You've grown into the fine young woman." He complimented. She ignored him again. "You can't ignore me forever."
"I can." She said simply.
"That wouldn't be very nice of you would it?" He spoke down to her, getting closer. "Oliver Carson you were a vile man then and a vile man now." Madeline hissed, staring right in his eyes.
"You look just like your mother." Oliver said in amusement. Madeline stitched her brows together. "Don't you dare speak her name." She said.
Suddenly, he reached up and clutched her neck between his hand. She gasped, struggling and trying to get away from him.
"Just like your mother..weak." He gritted through his teeth. "Your mother died a coward— selfish coward."
That's when everything came back to her. Slowly, the night her mother had died replayed in her head. Suddenly it all hit her.
The night of her mother's death when it all seemed far too odd. Died from child birth, they said. But Madeline knew something was off. She remembered the arguing between Johnny Dogs and Esmerelda the night it all happened. The way they refused to speak about the situation with her. The way she remembered hearing the cries of a baby only a few nights before.
Her mother hadn't died of child birth. How could she have? Madeline's brother had already been born.
Madeline's heart pounded and she stared at Oliver with cold eyes. "Murder me." She gritted through her teeth, "murder me just like how you murdered my mother."
His grip tightened and her face grew red.
"Mur—Murder me like you murdered her!" She wheezed.
He let go of her and just as she caught her breath, Oliver sent his hand flying into the side of her face. Madeline stumbled backward and held her face. Only one thing repeated in her head. You are with child.
Madeline was not going to let this man hurt her the same way he had hurt her mother. She placed an arm around her stomach for a moment and took a few deep breaths.
She grabbed him by the collar and pushed him backward, hitting him over and over again. Oliver grunted in pain and tried to fight her off but she'd dragged him across the room, slamming him into the wall once more and causing him to fall to his knees.
Without thinking, Madeline climbed on top of him and reached for an empty ice bucket from a table, lifting it and sending it full force into his head. She then did it again. And again. And again.
The sound of his nose cracking seemed like it had echoed. Blood was coming from multiple places — his mouth, his nose. But she didn't stop. She physically couldn't stop.
Oliver could no longer fight against her.
Madeline shouted at him whilst bashing the metal into his head. And then..John stumbled inside to see where his beloved wife had gotten off to.
"Jesus fucking christ," his eyes widened at the sight before him and he was quick to call Tommy over without making a fuss and raise alarm.
"Mads," John called out, rushing to her side and trying to drag her away. But she kept hitting Oliver. His face was completely ruined, covered in blood. He wasn't recognisable.
Tommy entered and he too rushed to her side. "John get her off!"
"I'm bloody trying!" John shouted, reaching underneath her arms and finally pulling her up. She screamed and shouted, kicking her feet like a child. "Take her away— John, take her away!" Tommy demanded.
Madeline was yet to realise what she had done. "Get off! Get off!" She cried out, shaking her head and covering her face with her bloodied hands.
"It's me— Mads it's me." John hushed her, placing her down and holding her face. "It's me. Look at me, Maddie." He said. She slowly lowered her hands and John looked at her tear stained face. "What did I do?" She muttered.
John tried to think of something to say but couldn't.
"I killed him." She said with a slight gasp. Her eyes watered again but John was quick to shake his head. "Stop." He said, "tell me what happened."
"He killed my mother." Madeline cried angrily. She pointed over Johns shoulder lazily. "That man killed my mother and he was going to kill me!"
She didn't know that of course. Yes he had strangled her but he wasn't able to even get close to killing her.
John was genuinely frightened of her in this moment.
Her eyes widened further and she pushed away from him. "What if i've lost it?" She said quickly, clutching at her stomach. John frowned. "What?" He asked. "Our— what if i've.." Her heart pounded, unable to fully tell him the news.
"You're pregnant?"
Madeline remained quiet.
"What the bloody hell happened—" Arthur and Polly came in one after another and their faces held a pure look of horror. Polly held a hand over her mouth.
"He's dead." Tommy confirmed.
"My baby." Madeline repeated. She was delirious. Her whole body was shaking. John took a few steps away from her and Polly noticed this and took it upon herself to tend to the girl. "John for crying out loud don't just stand there!" Polly scolded.
"You're pregnant?" John asked again.
"Are you thick in the skull, boy? Yes she's pregnant!" Polly shouted.
John wiped a hand over his mouth and pushed passed his aunt. "Madeline fucking look at me." He demanded, aggressively grabbing her face. Despite not being able to move from his grip, she attempted pulling her head back.
"This is all gonna be alright, yeah? Tom will sort it. No one will even know what happened. I promise ya." John whispered. He leaned his forehead on hers and used his thumbs to wipe her tears. "But i need you to get yourself together."
"I'm sorry, John. I'm so sorry." Maddie croaked, gripping onto his upper arms whilst he held her.
"It's alright." He gave in, letting go of her and allowing her to collapse into his arms. John closed his eyes and let out a breath. "It's alright." He whispered, a hand on the back of her head.
"Arthur.." Tommy began, "get everyone out of the pub. Send Finn to Charlie's yard and tell him to prepare a boat." Tommy pointed. "Polly you take Madeline—"
"No. No she's staying with me." John snapped. "You ain't touching her." He defended and held her tighter as if she was going to disappear. "Don't— don't." He raised a hand to Tommy who had started walking to him. "I'll take her home. Me— her husband." John insisted.
Tommy looked to Polly and Polly nodded. "Go on— go out the back door. And wash her fucking hands." Tommy said.
-
The moment John and Madeline got into the house, she felt her stomach churn. It felt as though her feet were moving quicker than her brain could process as she ran to the bathroom, falling beside the toilet.
By the time John had gotten into the bathroom after handing Katie over to Polly, Madeline was sat with her back against the wall and a hand over her mouth as she tried to quieten her sobs.
John kneeled beside her and his eyes were full of worry. "Madeline you're home." He whispered to her, gently taking her hand away from her mouth. Her body was still shaking and her hands were still covered in blood. John grabbed her shoulder and moved a hair away from her face. "Listen to me, yeah?" John caressed her cheek.
"I didn't mean it." Her words were awfully quiet.
John felt genuine upset at the sight of Madeline. He couldn't wrap his head around it. One moment she was there and now she wasn't. There wasn't a single thought behind her eyes. The lights were on but nobody was home.
John helped her to stand after figuring out she wouldn't do it by herself. He stood behind her and ran the tap, placing her hands under the warm water. They watched the red disappear from her hands and sink down the drain. Madeline forced her eyes closed and leaned back into John, begging for comfort.
No matter how hard Maddie tried, her eyes refused to stop watering. John carefully walked her into their bedroom and she sat down on the bed, gripping onto the white bedsheets.
"A baby, John." She muttered, still not looking at him. John's eyes widened when he remembered the sudden news. She readjusted herself on the bed and sat up against the headboard. John sat on the edge of the bed, taking her hand in his.
"A little baby boy." She added, a slight glisten returning to her eyes. John snapped his head toward her and his mouth parted. "A boy?" He asked in shock. Madeline nodded. A smile crept onto his lips and he moved closer to her.
"A little boy?" He asked again, the smile now apparent on his lips.
Madeline nodded and tried her best to smile genuinely. "I wasn't going to tell you— well not yet. But it just..came out." She whispered. "We're going to have a baby, John." A light laugh escaped her mouth.
John was overjoyed. He let out a breath and shook his head with a wide grin.
He placed a hand on her lower stomach and sighed. "I can't believe it, Mads." John admitted. Madeline tilted her head slightly and found enjoyment from the happiness that radiated from him.
"I couldn't either." She nodded. John lifted her hand up and kissed her knuckles.
John couldn't wipe the joy from his face. It didn't take long before the couple were tangled in the sheets together, holding each other close as if one of them were to disappear and never return. John lay wide awake after finally getting Madeline asleep. Every now and again, her body would jolt and her breathing turn rapid but soon go back to normal. His fingers drew small circles against her back and he placed gentle kisses on her shoulder.
The events of the night replayed in his head like a broken record. Madeline had killed someone. Theo had fled the Garrison before being able to find out what was happening. Tommy was taking care of the body. And Madeline..oh his Madeline. She was more than distraught. He didn't know she was capable of such a thing.
Yes, maybe Madeline a few years prior when she was unmarried and independent she would have been completely capable. But something seemed to change within her over the years. She became less aggressive and more gentle.
She, of course, didn't notice any of this. But John had. He noticed everything. He remembered the day he first saw her all those years ago and the way she'd been sitting with Esme with a foul expression across her features. The way on their second time meeting she had pointed a gun at him and his brothers and threatened to shoot them.
He remembered everything. And to see her change in such a small way showed how much your past can shape you. Her parents died and her brother would push and push her until she snapped. All of that made her feel like she had to fend for herself. But once she was forced to marry John — she felt seen. Although neither of them agreed to the arrangement, they were both glad it happened.