I sometimes feel unbearablely ugly. Such a strong rush of this chronic disgust that I can't help but find myself drowing in. I'm ugly in such way none could see. I'm the ugliest piece of flesh and bones. And i feel my heart throbbing in my belly. I might brust open and all the fluids flowing through me would be out all at once and it'll be Thanksgiving.
Thanks for calling me pretty but I'm sorry it won't help. Each time anyone says anything good about me i feel my skin burning to the level i can't endure it. Might call it blush sometimes but i know myself it's not, it's not red of the blush or the flush of blood you get when you see your crush
cause i know you're wrong
You're wrong with my perception
I can't see myself in the mirror and you say I'm the best person? Such a liar
Cause when each time I hear anything good about myself from other i can't help but feel humiliation. I won't ever be as good as i could be in your head. I remember each and every fucking thing that went the wrong way and I'm the only sole reason
Perfection of a rotting apple
Or a fig in blasting summer outside on the pedestal of the whitest house on earth
It shines like a moon on a summer afternoon
And I'm struck by this bright light
And i can't look forward
I used to be the brightest light
Hate to use this adjective from the centre of my being