Rudolph returned days later, mumbling an apology about leaving him at the station when Tony abruptly ran up to the vampire who had just entered through the window.
"I'm sorry I didn't come sooner, Tony," he sighed, running a hand through his hair, beginning to formally apologize. "My... my father wouldn't let me venture outside. He didn't trust me and he thought I would only go and visit you again... which he was right about, as a matter of fact."
The two giggled nervously, and Rudolph offered his hand out to the teenager, who took it immediately, eager for the rush of wind against his face again. But he stopped, frowning before the vampire turned to the window.
"What's wrong?" his friend asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Aren't you worried that we'll be found out by your father again? Won't they get super mad at you if that happens?"
Rudolph let out a deep chuckle, lifting the two off his carpet and through the window. "I don't care anymore. As long as I get to see you, mortal, I'll be alright. I'm sincerely sorry for leaving you when my father discovered us... and after we had just been chased by Rookery. I could not have done a more awful thing to you," he paused in midair, whipping around with pleading eyes. "Could you ever forgive me?"
"O- oh of course I forgive you. I'm flying with you now, aren't I?" the vampire blew out a breath of a laugh, shooting off into the sky with Tony at his side.
The pair eventually sat down on a grassy mountaintop, surrounded by prickly grass and violets. A cool midnight breeze ruffled through the trees, engulfing the two boys in a calm whispering crackle. Their hands lay next to one another, nearly touching. Tony's heart thrummed noisily in his chest as he tried to find the right words to say.
"The moon is beautiful tonight," Rudolph said, lost in the night sky above them. Tony hummed, distracted, studying Rudolph's features longingly. They each lay down in the grass, not saying a word when their hands brushed momentarily. Resting shoulder to shoulder, they lay in silence for a long while, gazing at the stars.
Tony practically vibrated the entire time, going through so many scenarios in his head. This was going to be the night he told Rudolph. He had turned this thought over and over in his head for the days Rudolph was gone. He had decided that this would be the night. The night he would stop being a wuss and ball up enough courage to be able to tell his best friend how he felt. He couldn't have Rudolph leave that suddenly ever again, with no knowledge of his return. No looking back. Never.
His heartbeat increased tenfold, as much as he thought it couldn't quicken any more. He held his breath, shutting his eyes tightly before he let it out, sitting up quickly. "Rudolph?"
"Hmm?" the dark haired teenager replied, sitting up as well to look into his eyes. Tony flushed, growing frustrated with himself that he couldn't keep it together. "What is it?"
"Uhm... I..." he began, looking down at the thick grass. He pulled a few blades out anxiously, feeling them against his fingertips. He discarded them and stood up quickly, running fingers through his blond hair. He looked out at the sky again, cursing it silently. "Rudolph... I... I have school... in the morning..."
Damn it. Tony nearly kicked himself for being so stupid. Of course he wouldn't have said anything.
The way he was raised turned him into a small, meek, weak-spirited teenager. He couldn't express himself. He had grown to shut people out, afraid they would reject him. He may have thought he could do it sometime, but not now. Not with a kind, gorgeous vampire in front of him, making him feel so special, so loved and cared about.
"Oh... alright," the vampire sighed, sitting up. That pulled Tony out of his thoughts, who snapped his head down to look into his eyes. Before the dark haired boy stood though, he paused, crouching next to a spot of purple on the ground.
"What are you..." he began, trailing off as Rudolph plucked a flower from the earth. He twirled the tiny violet between his fingers, biting his lip as he glanced up at the blond through thick black eyelashes.
"Here," he whispered, the vampire's fangs showing through his small smile. Tony breathed in sharply as his friend tucked the flower behind his ear, brushing the blond's cheek softly as he did so. He could feel his cheeks burning while Rudolph took his hand gently, lifting them off into the sky once more.
Touching down on the carpet of his own room, Tony said a short, embarrassed goodbye to the immortal, who let go of the blond's hand slowly, reluctant to break away. Glancing at the rising sun, he took off through the window. But before he did, he looked back at the teenager and smiled, which made his stomach do cartwheel.
"W- wait!" Tony abruptly stuttered as Rudolph turned back towards the sky. He raised an eyebrow ardently, silently assuring the blond. "Uhm- would you like your jacket back? I know you left in a hurry before and I never had the chance to return it. I'm sorry you weren't able to have it for so long I feel so bad about taking it-"
"Keep it for now," Rudolph cut his rambling off. "I certainly don't need it, and, well, it suits you wonderfully."
"I-it does?" Tony murmured.
Rudolph smirked softly, his magnificent maroon eyes twinkling in the dim light. "It goes with your eyes. As well as the flower."
And with that, he pushed off the windowsill into the night, with Tony nervously toying with the violet as his cheeks burned red and his heart beat wildly out of control.
Once the vampire had gone, Tony crawled under his covers, shivering. Why, why hadn't he said anything? He was so sure Rudolph felt the same way now, and he wasn't doing a thing about it. He was so stupid to think he could ever possibly tell Rudolph how he felt.
Tony groaned, rolling over onto his back, staring at the ceiling. He felt for the tiny violet, plucking it out from behind his ear. Tony laid it down on the nightstand next to his bed, turning his head so he could gaze at the beautiful flower as he drifted off to sleep, thinking only of the vampire. That amazing, beautiful, wonderful, courageous, alluring vampire he knew now that he was in love with.
＊＊＊
Rudolph began to visit more and more. Not that he hadn't been visiting a lot before, but he came nearly every night, talking to the blond until he fell asleep, watching him do homework, or taking him out flying. It had become such a regular occurrence that Tony almost forgot how infatuated he was with his friend. Almost.
He couldn't help blushing each time Rudolph delicately touched him, soft fingertips caressing his skin. He loved the deep lilac blush that crept up Rudolph's neck when he saw the blond wearing his jacket, making him feel more courageous in front of the boy he loved.
Even when he was disappointedly returning Rudolph's jacket weeks later, he felt a flutter in his chest when his fingers brushed with his friend's. Sometimes Tony could even feel like they were dating, maybe not kissing, but they held hands more than most couples probably did. It still hurt terribly to wake up in the morning with the vampire gone. He hated the empty feeling in his gut, not seeing him there when he opened his eyes.
But tonight, Tony was going to try and make Rudolph stay, for real this time. And he was a bundle of nerves as he tried to think of the right moment to tell his friend how much he loved him.
Gliding through the window the blond had just opened, Rudolph grinned at Tony, silently touching his feet to the floor. "Hello mortal! Would you like to go flying tonight?"
He bit his lip, forcing down a wide smile as he nodded eagerly. And with that, Rudolph grasped his hand, his heart drumming rapidly in his chest. They lifted off, flying through the window, the wind stinging their faces. The two soared over indigo mountains and leafy oak trees. The leaves rustled in the breeze, rippling from the wind. They came upon a lake, and Tony sighed, amazed at the cool black pool.
Recognizing Tony's amazement, the dark haired teenager brought them down to sit on a thin wooden dock. They let their feet dangle over the inky glass, so still and silent underneath them. Rudolph suddenly stood up and took off his boots, releasing a sweet, pungent scent. Tony covered his nose with his sweatshirt.
"Ugh, dude!" he joked, wheezing into the cloth. "When was the last time you took a shower?"
"I'll have you know it was last night," the vampire laughed back, shoving his foot jokingly in the mortal's face. They lapsed into loud giggles, bumping shoulders as the blond teenager pushed the boy's foot away, untying his own red sneakers. They each rolled up their pant legs, dipping their toes in the freezing water. Tony hissed in a breath as the cold liquid lapped at his ankles.
Rudolph sighed happily, looking over the lake. "Isn't it gorgeous?" he whispered.
"Yeah..." he breathed, not taking his eyes off the object of his desires. "Yeah it is."
He quickly turned away when the vampire noticed his staring, looking out at the trees while Rudolph watched him for a moment, confusion dancing across his face. They sat on the dock for a long while, their arms touching as they gazed up at the night sky. Finally, Rudolph got up, shaking his feet dry, splashing Tony with the frigid water. He yelped, scooping up a handful of it in retaliation, splashing it right back in the vampire's face with a sharp spray that made him gasp.
Tony chuckled, bending down to scoop up more water, but Rudolph was fast, crouching close next to him, clenching Tony's wrist. He looked up quickly, still smiling. His grin faded though when his friend didn't let go, gazing at the teenager's lips. Tony couldn't help but glance down as well, becoming lost in the vampire's fangs, the curve of his lips, the intake of breath.
Rudolph leaned forward, placing a cool hand on the blond's freezing one. Tony shivered, watching as he leaned in. The vampire closed his eyes, parting his lips as he inched closer. Then Tony took in a shaky breath and surged forward, but their noses met, smashing into one another. They launched apart, collecting their shoes and socks in silence, not bothering to put them back on as they clasped hands awkwardly. The pair made their way back to the house, speeding quickly across the little town, not making any eye contact save for quick, sweeping glances.
Tony realized what he had done wrong then, wanting to go back and redo that moment. That could have possibly been their first kiss, but he had ruined it. Like he always did.
The vampire gave a short wave to Tony when they had dropped down into his room, and began to head out the window again.
"Wait!" the blond yanked at his coat sleeve, wrenching him back to the ground. Rudolph shuffled on his feet uncomfortably, his eyes darting to look everywhere except at Tony. "I... uhm," he said, rubbing the back of his neck, trying to see how he could talk his way out of this one. But this was it. It was now or never. He could tell him. What was the harm? He had already ruined a moment, so why not ruin another?
"I... I need to tell you something... something I've been meaning to tell you for a while, like, a while. "
"Alright," the vampire allowed Tony to lower his arm, and he stepped closer to the human. The blond blushed under his friend's sweet earthy scent, wanting so desperately to grab him by the collar and kiss him senseless. "Go ahead."
"I..." he couldn't help but think about how patient Rudolph always was with him; no matter what. He always looked like he wanted to know exactly what he had to say.
Tony shut his eyes tightly and balled up his fists. Come on. He took a deep breath.
"IreallyreallyreallylikeyouandIcan'tstopthinkingaboutyouyou'resoamazingandkindandcuteandfunnyandIthinkI'minlo-"
"Woah!" Rudolph eyes were blown wide and he had placed a gentle hand on Tony's cheek to make him stop speaking, causing him to grow redder by the second. "Slow down. I didn't understand any of that."
"I-" then Rudolph's hands were holding his, stroking them with his thumbs. The blond looked up into his friend's eyes with a newfound confidence. He blew out a long sigh, dipping his head before pulling the dark haired boy so they were each seated on his bed, facing one another.
"I... I like you," he closed his eyes and held his breath, afraid of what he would say in response.
"I like you too, mortal!"
His head shot up excitedly, but his face fell once he saw Rudolph's understanding expression. "No, Rudy, you don't get it. I like you like you. Like, I wanna kiss you like you. Like, I want to be with you every waking moment, forever, and I can't stop thinking about you like you. Do you get what I'm trying to say?"
The vampire was gnawing at his lip with a sharp fang. He looked so confused and so scared. He knew Rudolph had understood perfectly what he had tried to explain, but something wasn't right. Oh. He didn't feel the same.
The teenager's heart sank so deeply in his chest. He let go of Rudolph's hands silently, moving to get off the bed. "Oh... I see, I misunderstood everything. I'm so sorry. Look, we can just forget about it and-"
"Wait," cool hands grasped Tony's shoulders. "I think I might know what you mean. Can you... show me?"
The blond's heart beat so rapidly in his chest. He thought he knew what the vampire was trying to say, but he wasn't quite sure. "Show... you?"
"Show me," he whispered. Tony nodded, looking down at the dark haired boy's lips. He reached up and cupped Rudolph's face in his hands, his thumbs running lightly across his jaw.
He heard him take a sharp breath as Tony leaned in, placing a small, tentative peck on Rudolph's cheek. The vampire's eyes fluttered as Tony leaned back, looking into his beautiful maroon eyes. And with a steady breath, he went back in to kiss him fully on the lips this time. His breath ghosted Rudolph's lips and he felt his friend shudder at the feeling of the blond so close. Suddenly the immortal was pulling away, jerking his body up, floating restlessly in the air. Tony's mouth popped open, and an embarrassed flush spread like lightning across his face.
"I'm- I'm so sorry. I can't do this," he stuttered, glancing sharply at the blond before shooting to the opposite end of the room. And with that, he was gone, flinging open the window, dashing outside, far away from him.
Tony ran to the ledge and leaned out, calling the vampire's name helplessly, but to no avail. He cried out, until his throat blocked up, until tears welled up in his eyes, stinging painfully. He closed and locked the window, stumbling back to the bed his friend had occupied just then.
The blond crawled onto the duvet, and once he leaned his head back against the wall, he allowed tears to spill out. They ran down his cheeks, falling hot and heavy on the blanket. He placed his face in his hands and sobbed, his entire body shaking. He let out terrible choked sobs, crying for the loss of his friend.
He knew he'd spoiled it completely now. He had messed it all up; like he always, always did. There was no getting around it. He had just lost his best friend.
No matter if Rudolph had felt the same, he still had launched himself away from Tony. He didn't want to actually be with him. He was probably disgusted with him but didn't know how to react.
The vampire didn't even want to be anywhere near Tony in the first place. He was just friends with the boy out of pity. He only felt indebted to him. That was all. He wanted nothing else to do with him.
He wouldn't ever come back now.
And Tony understood that. Who would want to be with a person like him anyway? Everyone Tony had loved had left him; why should Rudolph be the one to stay? Why would he be different?
Oh god. He'd ruined everything.
He sniffled loudly and moved under the blanket, hearing his tears fall to the pillow with soft taps. Tears continued to pour until his sobs reduced to sharp hiccups. He continued to weep well into the morning, falling into a restless sleep, waking up at all hours with a lurch in his throat that sent him back into tears.