Hello hello! You may be wondering, why the hell is the chapter so late? Well, the answer is that I was having a writer's block and couldn't think about anything past 3 pages. But enough about that, look at this beauty of an art piece by the one and only, @Sending Roses so a huge round of applause and gratitude for this! Honestly, this is just beautiful! As per their statement, this is [Name] in her wedding dress getting married to Nozomi (Ha, foolish children wishing for an impossible event) but I do adore it! Had she been made by a kinder author, I'm sure she would have had her wedding and she would have worn this beautiful dress. Also, her scars?? The attention to detail be like?? Chef's kiss! TYSM for this and I hope you enjoy this chapter, we're getting closer and closer to canon!
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For a moment, you just stood there. Relishing in the feeling of Rappa's big, strong self reduced to a pathetic mess at your feet.
It reminded you of your glory days, but something about bringing this man to his knees brought along a sense of fulfilment. His previous crude remarks echoed in your mind and that managed to kill off any guilt that may have begun to form in you.
But you were pulled out of your ecstatic thoughts when you felt a shift of temperature around you. It was almost familiar...
You turned around to face the figure of whoever was approaching you, your eyes locking onto his form.
The first thing you saw as he entered the alley was his golden eyes that shined brighter than the embers of a fire.
"Chisaki-san." You greeted nonchalantly, as if there wasn't a dying man lying in your feet, at the moment. But it's not like it mattered because the man in front of you didn't seem to spare him a glance either, "[Name]... wasn't it?" He confirmed, testing your name.
You simply raised an eyebrow at him, all previous anger having left your systems thanks to taking it all out on Rappa. Now, you were calm, collected, and back to your old self.
"What brings you here? Perhaps, did you wish to visit Pops?" He questioned, as if he wasn't trying to kill you with his glare alone the last time you met him. But you pushed that aside and shook your head, "No. Rest assured, I had no plans of visiting. I was simply here for some work." At that, his lips curled into an amused smile, but thanks to the black mask he sported, you couldn't see it.
But you could tell he was smiling from the crinkles under his eyes, "I see..." He mused, before turning his gaze towards the half-dead Rappa, "Is he dead?"
"Not yet, no." You confirmed and Chisaki nodded, "Don't mind me, then. Do finish your job." You couldn't help but narrow your eyes at his phrasing.
He knew that this wasn't what you were supposed to do when you referred to your job. Just how long has he been watching you?
Did he listen to your entire mental breakdown?
You couldn't help but frown at the prospect of that. That's no good.
"Is there something I could help you with? It's not like you to just come up to me and greet me." You speculated. Chisaki's amused smile only grew upon hearing your words, "You really are a smart little girl." You kept your gaze stuck to him, watching how he sauntered over to you.
For a second, he was disgusted upon looking at Rappa. The half-dead state you had left him in wasn't the prettiest, you'll admit. But if your guess is right, then perhaps Chisaki's mysophobia might have to be at play here.
"You're right, I don't really like you enough to approach you out of the blue." He admitted. "But you see–" he stopped and turned to you, an unreadable look in his eyes.
"I happened to be quite intrigued with your work. I will admit, I may have miscalculated your initial capabilities when we first met, but your display of strength just now..." Opening his gloved hand, he outstretched it over to you.
"-it's quite impressive. Pops only sees you as the little girl who helped his daughter, but perhaps you'll be willing to work with the Shie Hassaikai?" You stared at his gloved hand indifferently, before looking back at him with a look that rivalled that of death itself.
"I don't associate myself with scum like you. Your boss's too kind, keeping a filthy dog like you around when he really should have killed you off when he had the chance." You sneered, not in the mood for his stupidity.
But the older man simply stared down at you in amusement, "Is that so?" He smiled, while looking down at you.
You just rolled your eyes at his words, "Yes. Now, if that's all, I'm leaving."
Just like you had anticipated, Chisaki's outstretched hand that was once gloved but now bare, was what filled your gaze next. But he was too slow.
All he was met with was an impermeable barrier.
But even though he had failed to kill you, he didn't seem as perturbed as you had expected, "You have a good reaction time. Better than half of my men." Chisaki complimented, but alongside that, he shot you a sharp death glare, "But you're far too disobedient. We'll have to work on that–"
"Did I wound your ego too much? Disobedient, my ass. Perhaps no one has ever put you in your place before?" You questioned. "Unlike your expectations, I don't and won't work for the Yakuza. The fact that you're actively trying to recruit kids into your little murder group is actually disgusting."
"Maybe I really should kill you–"
"Bold of you to assume a weakling like you even stands a chance. Unless you want to match with this guy-" you placed your foot on Rappa's face, and glared at Chisaki, "-over here, I say you forget what you heard me yell today and I'll forget whatever bullcrap you wasted my time with."
He made no efforts to stop you, so you just walked away, leaving Chisaki and Rappa's half-dead body in that alley.
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When you reached back home, you didn't really know what you were feeling, or frankly... anything for that matter.
Everything was a blur in your eyes.
Now that the adrenaline had worn off, you wondered why you felt the way you felt when you almost killed Rappa.
Killing wasn't a foreign concept for you. After fighting in a war, and even in your current life, killing was almost familiar to you, like an annoying fly that you couldn't swat away no matter how much you hated it.
But never had you ever taken any pleasure in the act. You always felt unclean after killing someone, like your hands were stained with their blood even if your hands had been physically clean of anything.
However, this time... You felt almost exhilarated to hurt Rappa. The more you were hurting him, the more you were enjoying it.
Maybe his rude attitude had helped you hate him, but even if you were against your enemies, you didn't actively enjoy the idea of hurting them.
Ugh... Everything is so confusing these days. It's really starting to take a toll on you.
Making your way through the familiar streets of your run-down neighborhood, you quickly walked past anyone that could see the splatters of blood on your clothes.
In just a few minutes, you managed to reach the vicinity of your house, and you were quickly reminded of why you had even left in the first place.
Touya...
Right, you had had a fight with him just this morning.
Scrunching up your nose in annoyance, you stepped into the apartment complex and began to walk up the stairs. Everything really has been going to shit lately. You really don't have the energy to deal with anything...
"Maybe I should just kill myself, and hope that I won't end up in Hell." You muttered to yourself as you stuck the key in the lock and clicked it open. The moment you opened the door, you were taken aback. While you didn't know what you were expecting to see when you first walked in, this was certainly not on the list.
You were surprised to see Touya waiting for you at that lousy dining table that could barely fit in chairs for two, let alone three–when Atsuhiro joined you guys for dinner.
"[Name]." The scarred boy began, making you blink wearily. "Touya." You greeted back, and walked in to throw your keys back into their original spot. You continued to walk past him and entered the kitchen, looking around the countertops to find anything to munch on. You really hadn't had as much as grain of rice since the morning so you were getting kinda hungry now.
Also, because taking your anger out on Rappa was sort of exhausting.
"Where were you?" Touya's voice rang clear in your ears, making you turn to him as you were busy stuffing your face with an old stale piece of bread you had found lying around.
Maybe you saw some mold growing at the side but screw it. If you die of food poisoning then where's the harm? It's a win-win situation for you. Not only do you get to eat, but you also get to die.
Although it would be kinda funny if you, the great and allmighty Phlegethon, died from food poisoning.
"Hmm?" You hummed, almost having forgotten that Touya had asked you something because you were too busy thinking about how All for One would take the news, finding out that Phlegethon had died from shitting her guts out.
Ha! Fucking hilarious.
"I asked where you were."
"Compress gave me some work to do." You answered honestly, now in a much better mental state, so you found no reason to argue. Why argue when you can solve things civilly?
Touya, on the other hand, didn't seem to share the sentiment, "Do you take me for an idiot?"
Does he... want an honest answer to that?
You don't think he'd appreciate your honesty, so you just stayed quiet and watched how the albino in front of you looked like he was close to losing his mind. "I... was worried sick about you! And then-then I remembered... You said all that... Because you want to be with Shoto again, right?!"
"I think I explained well enough why I want to go back. It's not just Shoto, I want to be with Fuyumi, Natsuo and mom too. I don't want to die alone, Touya."
"You're not dying anytime soon–"
"Can you really guarantee that? You know the kind of work that Compress has dragged me in, you know that I've made enemies–"
"You won't die because I won't let you! I won't let you leave me! You're going to always be with me, I don't care how many enemies we have."
His words took you by surprise. Something about how maniacal he sounded... didn't sit right with you.
Sighing to help ease the chill that went down your spine, you changed the topic of your argument, "That's not all, Touya... You and I are living the worst lives possible. Neither of us is getting an education, we're living in a run-down neighborhood where there's someone screaming their head off every other hour, we're living in a filthy apartment that Compress gave us and neither of us is eating as much as kids out age should eat. We're both severely malnourished and you know it."
You tried to reason, but Touya was too think skulled to even bother listening to your side of the argument, "I'd much rather live a shit life than live under the same roof as that pig!"
You couldn't help but heave a sigh at that.
This conversation was going nowhere. It was just a repeat of the fight you guys had in the morning.
"Fine, then." You sighed, realizing that there was no point arguing with him. There was no way Touya would change his mind, he had inherited his stupid stubbornness from Enji.
Even Touya seemed to be taken by surprise upon hearing how quick you were to let go of the topic. Frankly, you were still adamant about wanting to go back, but you knew that Touya would never agree right now. So it's pointless to have a fight about something he'll never change his mind over.
"That's all you have to say? Fine?!" He huffed, looking at you incredulously. "What else do you want me to do, Touya? I said let's go back, you said no. I said okay, and now you're still pissed?! The hell do you want me to do? You want a fucking dogeza for even suggesting to go back?!"
By now, your patience was starting to wear thin. And even Touya picked it up because while he was still angry, the look in his eyes gave away the slight fear he felt upon seeing your growing rage. Of course, despite how pissed he might be, Touya knew damn well that you were scary when angry.
"I just want you to admit that after all the shit we went through, at the end of the day, it's still Shoto! You still just want to go back and be with your precious twin! Instead of your older brother who would literally kill for you–"
"Will you shut that stupid little rant?! Shoto, Shoto, Shoto! Jesus Christ, can you stop being so jealous of a child?! What more do I have to do to prove that I'm as much as your sister as I am his?! I fucking jumped in that fire for you! I killed people–children for you! I literally commit crimes just so I can take care of you, what else do you want me to do to prove that I care for you just as much as I care for him?! I care for all of you! Fuyumi, Natsuo, Shoto and you!"
Touya didn't say anything to that. But you could tell that he was biting his tongue, trying to think of something–anything to prove that you were playing favorites, but he came up with nothing.
If anything, you had done more for Touya than you had done for Shoto or anyone else, for that matter.
"You don't even want to think outside of that stupid inferiority complex of yours to realize that I am doing everything I can to help you all! And the only thing I ask of you is to let me have a single, normal life without having to kill any more that I have!" Tears had begun to pool in your eyes, and Touya looked at you in shock.
He had seen you show a range of emotions from the moment you had been born, but... to see you cry... it was the first he saw you like this.
"I don't want to kill anymore, Touya! I really, really don't!" Your voice cracked with each word you uttered, making the boy gulp in shock, "-and all I want...! Is to live a simple, quiet life! Don't you get it?! I hate this! I hate this so much! Everything I've ever done... I've realized that it was useless! To find what I gave up my everything for, ended up being useless... Do you even understand that this–I'm doing my best–but this is my last straw?!"
By now, you had started sobbing hysterically.
Even you didn't know what came over you. You had always been a calm, collected woman who always had control over her emotions. But everything that had been happening over the course of your entire new life had really been taking a toll on you, especially when you had just came straight out of a war and lost your family.
Enji's abuse, Rei's declining mental health, the broken Todoroki family, All for One being alive and All Might revealing that your efforts never even mattered, that your death and your sins were just a stepping stone like all your comrade's... that you all died in vain.
It really was your last straw.
And that last straw was what took for the dams to break.
Touya was completely flabbergasted, he looked so out of place to see you crying so hysterically that even he didn't know what to do. You broke down crying on the floor, all whilst your brother stared at you in helplessness.
He stretched his hand out to place it on your shoulder, but immediately recoiled it quickly, as if he had just been burned.
He might as well have been, seeing his usually put-together sister that had even committed genocide with a straight face, completely breaking down. It wasn't a very uplifting sight.
"[N-Name]... Come-Come on..." He heaved, the cracks in his voice giving away how anxious he felt. Placing a hand on your shoulder, he noted how you never looked up at him, and just continued to cry uncontrollably.
"Hey..." He called out once more, but you never did pay him any mind. Seeing you break down so uncontrollably made his own eyes water too. Before long, the albino boy had tears dripping down his scarred cheeks as he held onto your shoulders with a firm grip, "Don't cry... Don't cry, come on."
"Please, don't cry..." He rasped, his own tears starting to clog his throat and making it hard to speak up any louder than a whisper as hiccups began to rack his frame, "Hey, don't cry, please." He whispered, leaning over and trying to look at your face, whilst you had hung your head as you cried.
"Come on, I'm-I'm sorry... I-I didn't mean it, I swear! I didn't mean what I said! I know you care for me... I really do..." Seeing how you weren't looking at him, fear began to pulse through the boy. His very own worst nightmare was slowly unfolding in front of him, and all because of his own fault... Yet, he couldn't do anything.
You weren't looking at him, you weren't talking to him, you weren't even listening to him.
"P-Please... I swear I didn't mean any of it. I-I was stupid, and-and angry! I really didn't mean it, so please don't... please don't leave me..."
Hoping to reach out to you, Touya wiped his continuously falling tears–but it's not like it did anything because the tears continued to drip down his cheeks–and very carefully, wrapped his arms around your sobbing figure. By now, your cries were starting to tone down a bit, and they were getting replaced by hiccups and silent tears being spilled out your eyes.
You both just sat there on the ground after that crying session, completely and utterly drained, both mentally and emotionally. Touya had a firm grip around you, keeping you held close to his chest as he hugged you, while you just wanted some time to yourself to clear your head.
But you knew that Touya wasn't in the best of mental states either. Just because you were crying didn't mean that you weren't listening to what he was saying to you. It was clear that ever since the Sekoto Peak incident, Touya had developed some unhealthy attachment issues, most definitely separation anxiety.
You really couldn't blame the boy either, because before his quirk developed, all he has heard was how he was his father's hope for the number one spot, Enji's everything. And then, almost immediately after he began to hurt himself to follow that said dream, he was discarded instead of being loved. Touya was made out for something great, only to be replaced by someone who Touya knew he could never be.
It wouldn't take a genius to figure out that this led him to be very possessive of the slightest bit of love he received. To share you with Shoto, the same person who stole his destiny, was obviously going to end up in a disaster.
Of course, you're not saying this was okay.
That's exactly what you had been trying to do all along, to get him to realize that just because you cared for both of them, didn't mean that you preferred one brother over the other. They were both your brothers, and you loved them both the same.
You just hoped that Touya would realize this too, that you really did love both of them equally.
Now that you both cried plenty and had tired yourselves out, you moved your head, shifting in Touya's hold and wordlessly letting him know that you were starting to feel restless.
Almost in a panic, Touya unwrapped his arms and gauged the way you looked at the moment. He was sure that he would die if you had even a spark of hatred for him.
Unfortunately, you still had your head hung low and just kept staring on the ground, "[Name], I–"
"Let's just get some rest, okay? I'm... really tired from hunting Compress's target and I'd really appreciate it... if we have this conversation in the morning." You cut him off, well aware that if you guys had another fight, it would just end up in the same way; you crying like a baby and Touya feeling guilty and thinking it was his fault that you broke down in tears.
When really... it's more of everyone else's fault for ruining both your lifetimes.
Thankfully, Touya complied and let you drag yourself to the bedroom, throwing yourself on the single, creaky old bed.
Ugh... This is just similar to the fight you guys had a week or so ago.
Everything is just so confusing now...
You just laid there on the bed, curled up in on yourself as your mind whirred with your thoughts.
Don't want to kill anymore?
Yeah, right... You said that as if you didn't just enjoy almost killing Rappa. Honestly, your emotions are literally all over the place. You were miserable knowing that everything was just so... grey to you. Before, everything was black and white. There was either a good side or a bad side.
And now, you were lost.
You were unsure about everything. Even about your new life as Todoroki [Name]. What were you supposed to do? What path were you meant to take? Should you stay? Or should you go back?
Should you listen to Touya? He's still just a kid, barely in his teens. You should be the one making this decision, you should be the one who's resolute, and yet you're too busy crying over what happened in your previous life to care about your current one and everyone else in it.
As you laid in bed, your gaze traveled over to the ceiling and you kept it stuck there.
You need to get your shit together.
You need to stop acting like you're the one who's had it bad. You don't get that privilege of self-pity after you killed so many innocent people...
Your mind continued to flood with such thought until you finally fell asleep.
You don't even remember when you fell asleep. All that when you woke up, Touya was sitting out at the dining table as if he was waiting for you to wake up.
"Touya?" You called out, your voice having a certain rasp since you just woke up. The said boy turned to you, his cerulean blue eyes shining with an unreadable emotion in them.
Once did you catch sight of him, you were surprised. He had dark bags under his eyes, showing how he had not slept throughout the night. "What happened to you? Why do you look so tired?" You questioned, your tone laced with worry but the boy discarded that and looked at the side.
Your eyes were fixed on his form as he took a deep breath. Why was he acting like this? Like he was in physical pain just from being here?
But you got your answer soon enough when Touya opened his mouth and spoke up.
"I..." He started, very hesitantly. Although, once he saw your face, he eased up a bit and nodded to himself with a pained, agonizing look in his eyes.
"Let's... Let's go back."