♡
the door knocking startling her and making her wipe her tears that she had down her face. she picks up the box that had all of his belongings, his shoes, clothes, and jewelry he has boughten her all neatly folded or places before walking towards the front door of her apartment, scared to face the man that both had decided to let one another go about a week ago.
they both made the decision to go separate ways, seeing that they both had different paths with them not in one another's but most importantly he was caught being with another woman. devastated that after 4 years they would call it quits neither one of them were ready for.
the act of rearranging memories and attempting to rewrite their love story so they could be happy together was the biggest struggle the both of them had at the moment with their lover.
but no matter how much easier it would be to move on if she hated him, she simply can't bring herself to feel that way. this was her best friend, her lover all in one and letting him go seeing that he wasn't ready to be tied down the way she wanted him to be and she couldn't change him.
she does however wish that if the relationship was more damaging, it might've been easier to let him go but because of the lingering affection and absence him made the healing process more damaging and difficult.
she sniffles walking towards the door, sets the box down and opens it, revealing a different aura of her ex, chris. he seemed more depressed than usual and out of his own comfort he usually was in. gray hoodie and black sweats with slides, his eyes looking as if he hadn't slept in days. it made her sad.
he looks at her with sorrow, seeing that she'd also been crying and going through it but she managed to no matter what get through it. "hey.."
he cleared his throat and sniffed "hi."
there was a moment of silence that they took advantage of to look at each other before she spoke. "um..these are for you..that should be all your hoodies sorry if i have perfume on them still."
he takes the box from her hands and laughs lowly "nah it's okay...thank you." he looks in the box seeing the jewelry of his to her in the box, the one that stood out to him was the necklace with a locket of the two of them in it which made his heart break. "y/n..you left the locket in here."
"i know."
"..you don't want it?"
she shook her head "it'd be more devastating if i kept it so.." he nodded slowly as they made eye contact again but she couldn't help but shed a few tears that made his heart break.
"baby.."
"stop chris don't call me that."
"i'm sorry ma, i'm so sorry for all of this, it wasn't in my intentions to hurt you i swear to you that.."
"you did though."
"and im sorry that i did i swear to you i am." his voice cracks a bit getting emotional as well. he hated that he was the cause of this all.
"there's so much i want to say. i loved you..but i wish i hated you chris.. no matter how i try to, no matter how i want to, no matter how easy things could be and no matter how guilty i still feel saying it.. i wish i hated you. but i can't because i love you still so much and i'm so stuck on how and why you would do that?" she cried seeing him already in tears himself that he couldn't fight.
"im so sorry man, i deserve it all and i pray one day we could find our way back and fix us because i love you.." he croaked.
sighing he sets his box down and goes in to give her a hug which she wasted no time in going into. she didn't care if this was going to hurt her more in the process, she needed it.
after what felt like forever she said nothing but waves as he leaves, closing the door behind her and immediately starts to ball her eyes out. that was the last time she saw him and also the last time she cried so much.
I wish I hated you
I wish that weren't true
Wish there was worse to you
I wish you were worse to me
Yeah, I wish I hated you
♡
late night small update <3