Dazai pov
I woke up at nine in the morning and went freshen up. After I was done I had some breakfast and settled on the couch to watch a movie. Today was my day off so I had planned to spend the whole day watching movies. I took out a random movie and started to play it. Just as the movie started I got a message from Odasaku. Of course I checked immediately.
He texted me that Ango had got pregnant. You may think that it is weird or that it was some kind of prank but it wasn't. Ango had got the ability to get pregnant because of a backlash of an ability. Of course Ango wasn't very happy about it and was pretty insecure too. But his insecurity helped us to bond and share our feelings with each other.
It started when I found out that I had feelings for Ranpo San. I was confused and wanted to ask Odasaku about it and went to his house, after all he was dating another man and probably knew more about what I was feeling. When I got there, Ango was the one who greeted me and invited me inside. He had told me that Odasaku was out and wouldn't come back until night. He then offered some tea which I gladly took. But every time I look at his there was a flash of insecurity in his eyes. I probably guessed that it was because of what happened between us in the past.
Since Odasaku wasn't home and my feelings were troubling me too much, I decided to ask Ango about it. He thought for a moment and told me to confess before I lose the chance to do so. I was hesitant which Ango understood immediately. "Is it because of what happened in the mafia?" He asked. I nodded and a huge wave of sympathy washed over his face.
Ango hesitantly sat beside me put one of his hand on my shoulder and said "I know you think that you don't deserve him because of what Mori did to you, but let me tell you this no matter what, if you both are meant to be, it will happen. No matter what you or anyone in the world think. I'm telling you this because I know how it feels. Feeling like you don't deserve the person who you like the most just because you're insecure."
I look at him confused. Ango seemed to understand and continued "When I first found out that I could get pregnant, I was scared and I didn't know how to tell Oda. I mean a man who can get pregnant, isn't that just a big joke. I was very insecure about it and I still am but Oda makes it easier to cope with and also helps me get over it. So what I'm telling you is that if Ranpo is the one for you then go on and tell him how you feel. Maybe in the end he might help you get rid of all your insecurities."
I thought for a moment and then got up and thanked Ango. I told him that I would eventually confess but it has already been a year and a half since then and Ango and Odasaku were married now. But that wasn't the only time I have opened up to Ango.
I text Odasaku that I was happy for him and then I concentrate back on the movie. But then I hada thought that I felt would be really funny soo praised the movie and called Ango. He immediately answered. "Dazai? What's up?" He asked. "Oh, it's nothing. I just wanted to congratulate you for your second child " I answer. "Second child? Dazai, are you sure that you're not drinking?" Ango asks again. "Of course that's your second child. And I'm pretty sure that I'm your first" I reply. I could here Odasaku laughing in the background. "So you think of us as your father figures, huh" He says. "I have seen you both that way since our days in the mafia" I say and it was completely true.
I've always seen Odasaku as my father figure, but even though it took me some time, I began to see Ango the same way. "Looks like you're going to be an older brother, huh Dazai" Ango said. I could here that he was genuine about this so I hummed in affirmative. We then talked for some more time and then hung up.
After the call I suddenly felt an urge to throw up so I rushed to the bathroom and started to throw up. After I was done I washed my face. As I was leaving, I saw a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I stared at it for some time and eventually the person in the mirror changed from me to the demon prodigy, Mori's boy toy. His play thing something whispered. Out of impulse, I punch the mirror causing it to break. I then remove the bandages on my hand and pick up a piece of glass and slowly cut my wrist. I continue it two more times and started to feel dizzy. I slowly walked to the bedroom And managed to Reached to bed. And before I knew it the world started to go black.
I could hear someone calling my name from time to time. It sounded like Ranpo San but I immediately brushed off the probability of that and let myself sink deeper into the darkness. I felt a sense of peace after a long time. After all why would Ranpo San be here.
Ranpo pov
Like always I walk into the agency building with a lollipop in my hand. I reached the main room only to find Kunikida doing his paper work. "Even thought your late, I'm glad you came to work Ranpo San" Kunikida told me. "Late?, then where is everyone else?" I ask him. "The president and Yosano sensei are in their respective rooms. Dazai and Oda Kun have the day off while the others are on missions" He replies. I thank him and leave to meet Yosano.
I knock twice in her room door which immediately revealed Yosano, who was smiling very widely. I must say it was pretty creepy. "Good morning Ranpo, another day of not going to confess, right?" She says greeting me. I just grumble out a yes. Yosano was the only one who knew that I liked Dazai.
In the beginning I was just fascinated about him. Unlike most people he was unpredictable and there was something about him that drew me to him. He was like a mystery waiting to be solved and who better to solve it than the greatest detective. He also understood me in ways that no one ever did. I never confessed to him because of the fact that he was straight. Anyone could see it from the way he flirted with women, non stop.
"Why don't you ask the president for a day off and then go to Dazai's place and ask him for a date?" She suggested. I thought about it for a while and finally agreed to it.
Then I leave her room and go to Fukuzawa San's room. Just as I entered he angrily scolded me for not knocking, which I ignored. Then he asked me about the reason for my visit. I told him that I wanted a day off and he immediately agreed.
I rushed to Dazai's place and knocked a few times. He didn't answer. But that couldn't be right. I could hear the sound of the television playing inside. So I decided to pick the lock. After almost five minutes of trying,I found out that the door wasn't locked in the first place. I grumble some curse words and entered, expecting to find a sleeping Dazai in front of the television.
To my surprise he wasn't there. So I turned off the television and started to search for him. I called out his name from time to time, but still got no response. I then enter his room only to find his unconscious on the bed. A past of the bed was dyed red with his blood. I felt my heart reach my throat by the sight in front of me. I rushed to get the first aid box and started to trend the cuts on his hand. Occasionally he mumbled my name which gave me slight happiness and a load of relief.
I then slowly lift him off the mattress and laid him on the couch. Then I return to his room and change his bloody sheets. After I was done I kept staring at the bed, the images of before flashing in my eyes which automatically brought tears to my eyes.
"Ranpo San, what are you doing here?" I heard a voice behind me. Dazai was awake,I thought. "Are you an idiot or what. Did you think that no one would care if you ended your life, huh. Do you know how much it hurt to see you laying on the bed, almost lifeless. I swear to God that if you do something like that again and survive, I will never talk to you" I scolded him. He looks down with guilt. "I'm sorry.I didn't mean to. I just.... Ugh. I'm sorry but" Dazai kept mumbling.
I went over to him and wrapped my arm around him, pulling him for a hug. At first he was tense but loosened after almost a minute and hugged back. "I love you, you idiot" I slowly whisper into the hug which caused Dazai to pull away and stare at me in shock. "What did you say?" He asked again. My face started turn red, so I turned to the floor and replied "I said that I love you, Dazai."
I started to think that he did like me back, after all I couldn't confirm anything from that face of his. It was the only thing that I couldn't decipher. . I was about leave him alone. But he immediately pulled me into a bone crushing hug and whispered "I love you too, Ranpo San." My face lit up with happiness. I cup his face in my hand and pulled him down for a kiss. But he pulled away immediately. I was kind of disappointed and turned to him. He looked scared and startled.
I keep a hand on his shoulder and asked "Dazai what happened?" He looked up to me. I could feel his fear reducing. "Ranpo San,I didn't mean to. I just thought you were... I'm really sorry. It's just that....I.......I" He kept on mumbling. I could see tears forming in his eyes. Something from the past was the reason for his reaction. From what I know, he used to work under Mori and I've learned from Yosano that anything to do with Mori, never ends well. So I guessed that Mori had done something to traumatize him.
I felt like he wouldn't tell me what the problem was too. I mean even though we both work at the agency, we were never that close. Dazai was always with Oda San, Atsushi Kun out Kunikida. I used to be jealous of Oda San's relationship with Dazai and even thought that they were dating. But I haven't felt that since Oda San started dating Ango Sakaguchi from the ability control division. "If you want to be alone I'll leave" I said already starting to walk towards the door. I felt that he wasn't ready to tell anyone about it.
I felt him holding my hand. "Ranpo San, please don't leave. I really don't want to be alone" He says. He looked like a sad puppy. I thought for a moment and then decided to stay. Suddenly he loses his balance and was about to fall when I caught him. "Ah, Arigato Ranpo San" He says with a smile while keeping an arm on his head. That smile, it was different. It was the most genuine smile I have seen in a while. I was caught in thought staring at his face. "Ranpo San, is there something on my face?" He asks, bringing me out of thought. "It's nothing" I reply smiling sheepishly.
Dazai pov
I was carried by Ranpo San to the bed which I was very happy about. Ranpo San slowly laid me on the bed and then laid beside me. I was really happy that Ranpo San had feelings for me too. I was lost in thought when he slowly kept his hand in my stomach. I keep one of my hand on top of it and slowly caress his hand with my thumb. We were both laying there in peaceful atmosphere. Truth was, I never wanted to leave from this position that we were in. "Dazai, why did you do it?" He ask. "Memories from the mafia" I reply truthfully. "Memories from the mafia? Who would dare to hurt a powerful executive like you?" He asked. But before I could answer him,I saw the answer dawning in his face. He knew who it was. "Mori" I still say.
He looked trouble for a moment. Maybe because this is the second time he has had to save one of Mori's victims. He knew a lot about Mori from Yosano sensei. When she got out of his clutches, Ranpo San was the one who helped her heal. Last time he had to save an Angel and now me, a demon.
He suddenly pulled me into a hug and I immediately broke down into tears. I always used to be scared that people would hate me if I ever tell them and this is the second time I was proven wrong. After all Ranpo wouldn't be the only person to know. Ango did too.
The day that it had happened, I went into lupin bar to vent everything to Odasaku but unfortunately he was on a mission. So I started drinking to drown my misery. That's when Ango entered, looking tired. He took one look at me and his tired face filled fully with concern. He pace became faster and he sat beside me. And for the first time in a long time, he ordered alcohol and not any juice. "I know you'd probably prefer to talk to Oda, but just so you know, I'm there for you. What if I accompany you until he comes back." He suggested with a small grin.
I could see that Ango wasn't very comfortable drinking alcohol but he still did, for my sake. That's when all my doubt about Ango vanished. The tears that I had been holding back, flowed down. I could see shock in Ango's eyes. He never did expect me to break down in front of him. He came closer and enveloped me in his arms. That was the second time I had let someone embrace me willingly. Ango felt like home. There was this same feeling that I used to get while I was with Odasaku. I immediately started to rant to Ango about what happened.
By the time I was done,I had called down. He slowly let me out of his embrace but still kept me close. "Now I feel that it was stupid to cry over something like that" I told Ango. He immediately pulled me into another hug, pressing my face into his chest and said "It's fine to cry. Especially after what he did to you." He then ran his fingers through my hair. Ango was never the one to like physical contact, yet here we are. After some time, after I had calmed down , we went back to our respective places. And that was the day I started to see Ango as a father figure.
"Ranpo San" I call out as I was done crying. He hummed in response. "Do you want to know what happened?" I asked. He seemed a bit hesitant at first but then says "If you are ok with it, then sure." I break at the hug and changed into a comfortable position and snuggled closer to Ranpo San.
I then started "It was the first time I had failed a mission. Not a failure, but that mission was set just so that I would fail. I went back to report to the boss. In the mafia when a subordinate fails, the boss gets to punish them. So I went to his room, prepared to be punished, even though I knew he was the one who set me up. Just as I entered he instructed me the lock the door and strip. I was fifteen and wasn't expecting what had happened, I thought that I would get beaten or something. So I did as he told me to. Suddenly he pushed me into his table and started to remove the bandages on my body. He then bent me over and started to put his cock inside me. That's when it hit me. I was being raped. I started to beg for him to let me go and all he did was enter me deeper. And- Stop it" Ranpo San interrupted me. He felt disgusted with me I thought to myself. The thought only made my crying worse and before I knew it I was slowly Shattering into pieces.
That's when I felt a pair of hands cupping my cheeks. Ranpo San. "You won't be able to finish the story without breaking down. And I understand what you are trying to say, so it's enough for now" He says. He wasn't disgusted with me I thought. "I'm not disgusted by you, Osamu. It's just that I'm not sure that I will be able to pick you back up if you break down right now" Ranpo San said, almost reading my mind. He then lifts the hair in my forehead and placed a kiss there. Then he placed one on both of my eye lids. Then one on the bridge of my nose and finally after a bit hesitating one on my lips.
When his lips connected to mine, I could taste the strawberry candy that he probably ate earlier. This was probably the beginning to a beautiful life ahead. And I was thankful for it.
Hey guys. I was checking my draft when I found this and decided to finish this.
Here Dazai uses peoples name more than pronouns because I saw a headcanon that Dazai uses the names or nicknames of people he loves or are close to. So please don't complain about that.
Well byeeeeee.