There was an operating table in the center of the small, dark room. I was lying on it, and two people wearing masks were holding knives and were slicing open my stomach bit by bit. The feeling was very clear: the cold texture of the scalpel against the skin, the dull pain when the flesh was cut open. I started to sweat on my head, and my body was shaking violently because of the pain, but the two people didn't pay attention to me at all. They only focused on the movements of their hands, with no emotion in their cold eyes. Finally one of them reached out and took out the bright red kidney from my belly.
...
I sat up suddenly, gasping for air.
It turned out to be a dream.
I stretched out my hand to wipe it and found that my forehead was covered with sweat. I tried to calm my breathing and kept comforting myself that it was just a dream.
The ward was so quiet that there was no sound at all. I turned my head and my mother fell asleep with her eyes closed. I got up gently and walked to the window. It was already late at night, and there was no starlight in the dark sky. The images in the dream kept flashing in my mind. I closed my eyes and tried to suppress the fear in my heart.
It turns out I'm just a coward.
Aunt Li came early the next morning. In the past few days, Aunt Li was helping to take care of my mother when I went to the supermarket to work. I have already made up my mind that I will quit my job in the supermarket after the kidney sale is settled. To be honest, I'm not too sure how much damage my body will suffer from losing a kidney, but thinking about it, it's impossible to do the kind of physical work in the supermarket after the operation.
After thanking Aunt Li, I hurried to the supermarket. After getting on the bus for a few stops, I realized that I had forgotten my phone in the ward. Because I was worried that Aunt Li wouldn't be able to find me if something happened, I quickly got out of the car and ran to the hospital. When I arrived at the hospital, I just opened the ward door and found Aunt Li holding my mobile phone in her hand, with an uneasy expression on her face.
"Aunt Li, what's wrong?" I looked at my mother hurriedly. She was still sleeping, and there was no doctor around. It didn't look like something had happened.
"Xiao Mu, what's going on?" Aunt Li handed me the phone hesitantly, with a very worried look on her face.
I took the phone and was stunned when I saw it. There was a text message I just received [Please send your physical examination report to this email address before tomorrow [email protected] If there are no problems, we will arrange the surgery next week. 】
"Your phone rang just now. Aunt Li didn't understand this, and she was worried that someone was looking for something to do with you. She picked it up and tried to answer the call. After a few presses, these few came out." Seeing that I was silent, Aunt Li spoke again.
"It's okay. Maybe it was sent to the wrong number. I don't even recognize the number." I put the phone in my pocket and pretended to be relaxed.
Aunt Li frowned for a moment and stood in front of me, "Xiao Mu, although Aunt Li is a country woman with little education, don't treat Aunt Li as a fool."
"Aunt Li, don't think too much, I really don't know this person. It's late for me to go to work, so I'm leaving first." As I said that, I left the ward in a panic.
Aunt Li grabbed me and her voice became louder, "What kind of surgery? Why do I need your examination report? Xiao Mu, what are you trying to hide from us?"
I tried my best to hide it, and even wanted to take off Aunt Li's hand and run out. Aunt Li held me tightly and refused to give in. Seeing other people in the ward starting to pay attention, I had no choice but to pull Aunt Li aside and tell her about selling her kidneys.
"You...you stupid boy! What stupid thing did you do!" Aunt Li looked at me with red eyes, her voice choked up.
"It's okay. I've already asked. It won't have any impact if there are two kidneys in the human body and one is missing." I comforted with a smile.
Aunt Li stood up suddenly and looked at me anxiously: "How come there is no impact? How can someone pay so much money to buy a kidney if there is no impact? Xiao Mu, listen to Aunt Li, you are still young and there is still a long way to go in the future. Don't do anything stupid!"
I lowered my head and said nothing. After a long while, I finally spoke with difficulty: "I don't have enough money for the surgery. I have no choice. I can't let anything happen to my mother..."
Aunt Li burst into tears, her voice trembling: "If Axiu is not stupid, if she knows what you are going to do, then she would rather die than continue to treat her. Aunt Li has taken care of her for so many years, and knows She really regards you as her own child. Which mother in the world is willing to trade her child's health for her own life!"
I clenched my fists, and my vision gradually became blurry. Every word Aunt Li said hit my heart hard. It is true that no mother in the world would be willing to do this, but which child in the world would watch his mother die step by step? Although I have only been with my mother for less than a month, she is the best person in the world to me. If I can't protect her, I really don't know how I will survive.
I raised my head and was just about to open my mouth to continue persuading, but Aunt Li suddenly walked aside and started packing her things, "It's gone! We can't cure this disease! I'll take Axiu out of the hospital right away!"
I hurried over to pull her, but Aunt Li shook off my hand, "I can't let you ruin my life. Axiu must have thought the same way."
I stopped Aunt Li's movement and repeatedly promised that I would never have this idea again. Aunt Li reluctantly agreed to stay in the hospital temporarily and we would think of a solution.
"Xiao Mu, don't try to do the operation without telling us. If you really get the money from selling your kidney, I will take Axiu out of the hospital immediately. I will never let her use that money for medical treatment." Finally, When I walked out of the hospital, Aunt Li looked at me and said firmly.
I smiled bitterly and nodded, feeling touched and bitter at the same time. I know Aunt Li is thinking about me, but if I don't sell my kidney, where will I raise money?
I have never been able to concentrate while working in the supermarket. In his mind, he listed ways to find money one by one, and rejected them one by one. At this time, I began to desperately regret my previous inferiority complex. Because he was an orphan, he was always ostracized and bullied when he was a child. When he grew up, he never dared to have deep friendships with others. The consequence of staying far away from the crowd is that I don't even have a single friend that I can rely on.
That night, my mother's symptoms started to attack again. She kept curling up and hugging her stomach tightly. Her forehead was covered with sweat, and she looked like she was in extreme pain. Aunt Li had already gone back, and I hurriedly asked the clinical patients to help take care of me, and then I hurriedly ran to call the doctor.
After the treatment, the doctor warned that the spread of cancer cells had obviously begun to accelerate. If it continued, there would be no hope of cure.
I stood there blankly, my mind going blank. After a long time, I walked back to the hospital bed, sat down and looked at my mother silently. After treatment, she became a little weak and not very conscious.
"Come to think of it, I don't know why my parents didn't want me. I'm obviously in good health and have no intellectual disabilities." I pulled up my mother's hair that fell on the temples and said softly.
"When I was young, I didn't know what an orphan was. I thought all the aunts in the orphanage were mothers. Mother Chen, Mother Li, Mother Zhang. Later I learned that children outside call their mothers without their surnames.
The first couple who adopted me was a middle-aged couple who treated me very well. But then I had my own children, so I was sent back. The second time I was adopted, I was 10 years old. It was okay at first, but then the hostess thought I had a bad personality and kept my head down all day without saying a word. She was worried that I had some psychological problems, so she sent me back to the orphanage. "
The last time was when I was 12 years old, and it was a very gentle-looking couple. After I went back with them, I discovered that both of them had violent tendencies. They would beat me whenever they were unhappy with me, throw everything at me, and even had an ashtray smashed into their head. Later, someone called the police and I was sent back to the orphanage by the police. "
At this point, I was probably a little noisy, and my mother opened her eyes drowsily and looked at me. I smiled at her, held her hand and continued, "From then on, I never dared to look forward to having my own parents. It's just that when I grew up, I saw those children holding hands with their parents when I walked on the street. I'll still be envious."
"Mom, you are the first person who made me feel important. Let me know that if I am gone, there will be people who will be sad and sad. ... Let me know what it is like to have a mother..."
Tears fell from my eyes, I lowered my head and cried: "I won't let anything happen to you... I don't want to be alone anymore... I don't want to be alone anymore..."
Rough palms touched my face, and when I raised my head, my mother wiped the tears from my face and looked at me sadly.
She must not understand what I said, but just because she sees me crying, she will be sad. There is no reason and no reason is needed, because she treats me as her own child.
I reached out to wipe away her tears and comforted her softly. She smiled at me, her eyes were gentle and loving, and the corners of her eyes were warm. In an instant, all the cowardice and fear in my heart melted away, and I silently made a decision.
After my mother gradually fell asleep, I gently put her hand into the quilt and covered her. He stood up and looked at her for a while, then walked out of the ward firmly.
sorry.
I'm breaking my promise again.