"Is it all set to go, Kazuichi?" Kaito asked. The day of the Junior Championship Race had finally arrived. Everyone in Casa V3 woke up early for the trip to Tokyo's Reisuka Stadium to cheer Kiki on. Kiki, Himiko, and the boys waited in one of the stadium's pit areas, where Kazuichi was checking to see if the Celestial Eris of Chaos needed any repairs or maintenance done.
"She's all set!" Kazuichi confirmed.
"Sweet!" Fuyuhiko said, and smiled at Kiki. Kiki didn't smile back. Her eyebrows were furrowed with worry and she clutched tightly to her skirt.
"Nyeh? What's the matter, Chibi-Kichi?" Himiko asked.
"Are you nervous?" Gundham asked. "Weeks ago, you were enthralled by the idea of racing, were you not?"
"I...I..." Kiki stammered, wringing her skirt. Kokichi knelt down to her level and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.
"What's going on, Chibi-Kichi?" he asked. Kiki looked at him.
"I still haven't perfected drifting in a kart," she said.
"That's what's been botherin' ya?" Mondo asked. "Don't worry about that, kid! You're a pretty good racer enough as it is! Shit, you could even give some of the guys in my gang a run for their money!"
"Yeah, Chibi-Kichi!" Kaito agreed. "Just go out there and race until you're the first one to cross that finish line!"
"And even if you don't win, we'll still be proud of you," Kokichi assured, ruffling Kiki's hair. Kiki smiled hopefully in response.
"Really?" she asked.
"Of course!" Fuyuhiko answered. "It's cool that you're able to do what you want at all. If it were up to me, I would have left the yakuza a long time ago. My point is, whether you win or lose, you're still a winner." The other boys murmured in agreement.
"Thanks, guys," Kiki said. "I just wish I was able to drift like you, Kokichi."
"We can practice more after the race," Kokichi replied, waving his hand dismissively. "You'll get it down eventually, I'm sure!"
"Besides, it's better to be safe than sorry," Himiko added. "What Kokichi did on the mountain a few weeks ago is really dangerous!"
"So true, Monkey Buns!" Kokichi said, giving Himiko a kiss on the cheek.
"Hey! I was also there!" Kaito said, throwing his arms into the air. "What I did was dangerous, too, y'know!"
"Yeah, but it wasn't nearly as cool as what I did!" Kokichi said with a cheeky grin.
"I would have done cool things, too, but you just got in my way!" Kaito yelled. Kokichi pretended to yawn.
"Your excuses are pre-tty boring, Kaito," he said. "I'll give you a better excuse: you just suck!"
"Suck my dick! How about that?" Kaito growled.
"Nee-heehee...how can I suck something that doesn't even exist?" Kokichi said with a smirk.
"Heeey! Don't say stuff like that in front of Kiki!" Himiko scolded, covering Kiki's ears. Kokichi and Kaito scratched their heads sheepishly.
"Oopsie! Sorry, Chibi-Kichi," Kokichi said.
"Yeah...that wasn't cool of us," Kaito said.
"Hey, I don't even know what you guys were talking about," Kiki said, shrugging and holding her hands up. "Whatever went in one ear, it went out the other. See? It's over there, drifting away into the ether. Oh! Speaking of drifting...CAN WE PLEASE GO BACK TO TALKING ABOUT THE RACE, ALREADY?!" The others chuckled.
"Well...your kart is okay to go," Kazuichi said.
"But more importantly, are you? " Gundham asked Kiki. Kiki took a deep breath.
"Um...when does the race start again?" she asked. Fuyuhiko checked his watch.
"Starts in about fifteen minutes," he said.
"Guess that gives you some time for a bathroom break," Mondo said. "Little kids can't hold their bladders for shit!"
"Yeah, that's why after I used the bathroom this morning, I didn't drink anything at all," Kiki said. "But because of that...I'm kinda thirsty."
"Chibi-Kichi! Chibi-Kichi!" came Angie's voice as she and the other Casa V3 students stepped into the pit area to talk to Kiki.
"Hi, Angie!" Kiki said, and gave Angie a hug.
"We just wanted to tell you good luck, Chibi-Kichi!" Kaede said.
"Yeah! And we'll be cheering you on from the stands!" Rantaro added.
"Why cheer her on from the stands?" Keebo asked, and pointed to a TV screen hanging from a nearby wall. "Why can't we all just watch it from here on that screen?"
"Duh! Because nobody wants to stand near a robot whose breath smells like gasoline!" Kokichi said.
"I am telling you, I do not run on gasoline!" Keebo cried in frustration. "If you're going to insist on insulting me, Kokichi, at least do it correctly!"
"Well, uh...moving on," Shuichi said. "Good luck with the race, Kiki."
"Yeah! Show those boys how to race!" Tenko said. "Their karts may be powered by electricity, but yours runs on girl power!"
"Actually, it runs on the blood of my victims," Kiki said with a sadistic grin as she rubbed her palms together. The others stared at her in stunned silence. "Too much?" Kiki asked. "Sorry, I prefer my humor dark."
"Why does that actually not surprise me?" Ryoma asked. Everyone turned to Kokichi. He blinked in surprise and shrugged.
"Heeeey! My humor isn't dark!" he said. The others continued to stare at him. "Okay, okay, it's occasionally dark."
"Occasionally?" Maki repeated skeptically.
"Okay, maybe all the time, but it's called 'dark' humor for a reason...so you can make light of it, duh!" Kokichi asked. The others rolled their eyes.
"Tee-heehee...your puns are the best, cuz!" Kiki said with a cheeky grin.
"Nee-heehee...I'm glad you think so, cuz!" Kokichi replied with a cheeky grin as well.
"Well, the race should be starting soon," Kirumi said. "Shall we go back to the stands?"
"Yes," Kiyo said. "It will be interesting to see how you go against your opponents in this race, Kiki. Will it end in triumph, or will it end in tragic defeat? Either way, I look forward to seeing the results."
"Suuuure..." Kiki said hesitantly, raising a brow at him. "You got it, Kuchisake." Gonta handed Kiki a bouquet of roses.
"Gonta got these for you, Kiki!" he said. Kiki took the roses.
"Thanks, Gonta!" she replied politely. Gonta smiled back at her and nodded.
"Awww, he got her a 'bokwit,'" Himiko said. Kokichi chuckled and shook his head.
"It's pronounced 'boo-kay,' Himiko," he said. "Or even 'boh-kay,' but it's definitely not what you said." Himiko turned and narrowed her eyes at him, making Kokichi laugh harder.
"Nyeh...I don't need your sass right now," she muttered.
"Ten minutes, racers!" the announcer's voice rang through the air.
"Well...that's our cue to go back up," Kaede said. "Good luck, Chibi-Kichi! Have fun!"
"Yeah! Since you're the only girl in this sausage fest, you need to grind up their little wieners!" Miu said.
"Uhhhh..." Kiki mumbled.
"Can you..." Kiyo began, glaring at Miu as he massaged the bridge of his nose in frustration and disgust.
"It's fine! Let's just go," Kaede said. The others said goodbye to Kiki one last time before heading back up. Kiki handed Kokichi the bouquet of roses.
"Can you hold these, Kokichi? I'm gonna get a drink," she said.
"Okie-dokie!" Kokichi replied, taking the bouquet. Kiki rushed into the corridors of the stadium near the main entrance, where she had seen a drinking fountain. She pressed the button and leaned forward to take a few gulps. As she did, she heard a scoff behind her. She turned to see Shun, the mean boy from before, sneering at her. Kiki rolled her eyes and turned back around.
"Hey, girl!" Shun said nastily. Kiki ignored him and continued to drink. "I'm talking to you!" Kiki sighed and turned to leave. Shun marched up to her and grabbed her shoulder to spin her around.
"Ow! That hurt!" Kiki said, rubbing her shoulder and glaring fiercely at him.
"You look at me when I talk to you!" Shun spat.
"Ugh! I don't gotta look at you!" Kiki growled. "I don't even know you! Who died and made you head honcho?!"
That's just how it is, little girlie-girl," Shun said, inching closer to Kiki in a domineering manner. "I'm a boy, which means you have to do what I tell you to. And if I don't, I'll put you back in your place."
"What are you talking about, psycho?!" Kiki exclaimed. Shun raised a fist to her.
"Guess you need me to show you," he said. Kiki gasped and backed away in fear.
"Hey! Leave her alone!" Kiki and Shun turned to see Mullet marching up to them. He shoved Shun away from Kiki. "Get off her, dude! What's wrong with you?!"
"What, are you some kind of girl-lover?" Shun taunted, shoving Mullet back. "Is she your girlfriend? You wanna go play dollies with her?"
"No, I wanna play dollies with you," Mullet said with a smirk. "Only you can be the doll, and I get to pop your head off!"
"Tuh...you wouldn't dare-" Shun began.
"Don't think I won't," Mullet threatened, balling up his fists and inching closer to Shun. Kiki watched in awkward silence as the boys stared each other down. Finally, Shun scoffed.
"Whatever," he said. "I'm not wasting this race on some girl-lover." He walked off, glaring at Mullet. Then, he pointed at Kiki. "Don't think we're finished, girl! And don't expect me to go easy on you on the track!" He finally walked away towards the direction of the pit areas. Kiki looked genuinely puzzled.
"What is up with that kid?" she asked. "I didn't even do anything to him!" Mullet sighed.
"I know you didn't," he said, and held his arm out to Kiki. "Come on. I'll walk you back to your pit stop, if you'd like. That way, you won't have to worry about running into Shun alone again." Kiki smiled and wrapped her arm in his.
"Thanks!" she said with a small curtsy. Mullet smiled gallantly and began walking her back. "By the way, why did he keep calling you 'girl-lover?' And why did he ask if I'm your girlfriend?" She felt her cheeks grow warm. "W-Was he saying that you want me as your girlfriend?" Mullet chuckled.
"Nah, he just doesn't know that gentlemen exist," he replied. "I have little sisters that I walk to school with, and it's my job as their big brother to protect them. I guess when I see a girl in trouble, I think of my sisters."
"That's really cool," Kiki said, with a small blush. "You're really good at that. Er...being protective, I mean."
"I know what you meant," Mullet replied with a warm smile. They arrived at the pit area. The boys looked up to see them.
"Huh? Hey, kid, who are you?" Mondo asked Mullet. "Nice hair, by the way!"
"Thanks! Name's Mullet," Mullet replied. "I'm just walking Kiki back here." He turned to Kiki and she released her arm. "See you on the track," he said, patting Kiki on her shoulder. "Good luck."
"Yeah...you, too," Kiki replied with a deep blush.
"Thanks," Mullet said. With one last smile, and a nod to the other boys, he left for his pit stop area. Kiki looked after him for a few moments and sighed dreamily. Then, she remembered the boys being there. They looked at her with playful smirks.
"Are you competing against the boys, or for them?" Fuyuhiko joked.
"I remember that kid from a few weeks ago," Kaito said. "You two planning on gettin' hitched, or something?"
"Nooo..." Kiki answered shyly. "Besides, he was only helping me after I ran into an unexpected snafu." The boys' expressions suddenly became serious.
"What happened?" Kazuichi asked.
"Well, Kokichi, Kaito, remember that one kid that was being mean to us in line a few weeks ago?" Kiki asked. Kokichi and Kaito nodded in response. "Well, I was at the water fountain, and he was trying to talk me, but I was ignoring him because he was still being mean. And, when I tried to walk away, he grabbed my shoulder and turned me around." The others gasped.
"W-What did you say?!" Himiko cried. Kokichi knelt down next to Kiki and looked her in the eye.
"He put his hands on you?" he asked in a low voice.
"Um...yeah," Kiki replied in a small voice. "Well...hand, but still. Yeah."
"Does your shoulder still hurt?" Kokichi asked.
"No...it's fine, now," Kiki answered. Kokichi sighed in relief and looked Kiki in the eye again.
"Kiki, listen to me," he enunciated. "If a boy puts his hands on you, you put his hands right back on him, and you don't give him a chance to fight back. Got it?"
"You mean...kill him?! " Kiki asked with wide eyes.
"No...but you beat him enough to the point where he wishes he was dead," Kokichi said firmly.
"Now that's what I'm talkin' about!" Mondo said. "A guy starts wailin' on ya, you beat the ever-lovin' shit out of him! And don't stop until he's a bloody, fuckin' mess!"
"Yeah! I agree!" Kaito said. "It's not manly to put your hands on a girl like that! That kid's just a bully!"
"But, why?" Kiki asked. "I didn't even do anything to him!"
"He thinks that just because you're a girl, you won't fight back," Fuyuhiko said.
"Ugh...but what does me being a girl have to do with anything?" Kiki asked in exasperation. "Jeez! I was just getting a drink of water!"
"Are you not aware of the battle of the sexes?" Gundham asked.
"No, what does that mean?" Kiki asked.
"Basically, boys think they're better than girls, and girls think they're better than boys," Kazuichi explained.
"At what?!" Kiki asked.
"Well...everything, I guess," Kazuichi replied. Kiki rolled her eyes so far that they could have rolled to the back of her head.
"Oh, brrrother! I just wanna race!" she exclaimed. "I didn't come here for drama!"
"Do they not talk about stuff like that at school?" Mondo asked. "Little kids are always talkin' about that kinda stuff, and bein' afraid of cooties, and shit."
"No, not really," Kiki replied. "At my school, everyone just brags about how rich they are, and try to find out who's richer so they can brag about that, too!"
"Huh...Byakuya would love that school," Kazuichi mumbled.
"Is that why that girl with the green thing on her head keeps talking about 'dEgEnErAtE mAlEs?'" Kiki asked. "Is she one of those people?"
"Yeah, she kinda is," Kaito replied.
"Brrrrrother!!" Kiki cried again. "Where's a flamethrower when you need one?!" The other boys raised their eyebrows and uttered surprised laughs. Kokichi, however, kept his firm stare on Kiki.
"You remember what I said, Kiki, got it?" he said. Kiki nodded.
"Okay, Kokichi, I got it," she replied. "Um...I wanted to hit him back, but I didn't wanna be disqualified from the race."
"Don't worry about that," Kokichi said. "Your safety is way more important, and you can always race again. If that kid puts his hands on you again, you hit him back until he's crying his eyes out and begging you to stop. That way, he'll think twice about putting his hands on another girl the next time he decides to try it. And, if people have a problem with it, I'll be there to back you up."
"Fuhahaha! Unleash absolute hell upon his face!" Gundham said. "Show him no mercy! Give him a reason to fear you!"
"Nyeh...that's right," Himiko said, thrusting her fist into the palm of her other hand. "Show him that it's 'Kiki Time!'" Kokichi stood up and faced Himiko.
"That goes for you, too," he said, pointing at her. "If some rando puts his hands on you, and I'm not there to do something about it, you turn the switch from lazy to crazy and go off on that guy. You punch him, bite him, kick him, scratch him, whatever. But call me and save some for me, because I want a turn, too." Himiko smiled, and Kokichi chuckled, giving Himiko a kiss.
"I thought you don't like solving things with violence, Kokichi," Himiko said.
"It's true. I prefer brain over brawn, but even I know there's a time and place to start throwing hands," Kokichi said.
"One minute, racers!" the announcer said.
"Alrighty, Chibi-Kichi, let's get you into your kart," Kokichi said. Kiki climbed into the Celestial Eris of Chaos and strapped herself in tight. "Ready to race?"
"I feel like I've been ready my entire life," Kiki said. Kokichi chuckled and gave her a kiss on the cheek.
"Racers to the finish line!" the announcer said. Himiko and the boys wished Kiki good luck. She started her kart and drove from the pit area to the starting line. Kokichi smiled after her, proud of his little cousin.