total drama fuckers
courtney: guys im bored
gwen: heu gyus
cody: gwen are you okay
*gwen sent a voice message*
TRANSCRIPT: No I'm fucking not I got press on nails because acrylics are fucking expensive and I can't type
duncan: cant relate
alejandro: so relatable gwen 😕
heather: wtf alejandro dont tell me you got acrylics done for eras
alejandro: okay i wont tell you then
harold: can anyone play roblox
justin: yeah
trent: im down
cody: yes!!
noah: since cody is doing it so will i i guess
gwen: ill tery my bset
courtney: sure!
duncan: no prob
tyler: wait for me and linds!
heather: fine i guess
alejandro: YIPPEE
owen: AND I WILL TOO
izzy: AND MEEEEEE
eva: me too i guess. just in case izzy gets fucking banned again.
harold: wait i dont have you all added, im hbomb
justin: if someone called justinofficial adds you its me
trent: yep and mine is the same as usual: trentsguitar
gwen: wwoow so creatdive trent
gwen: im gwendolynx2
cody: thecodemeister is me not a random hacker!!
courtney: courtneyssssss
duncan: delinquent69
alejandro: 69 😋😋
heather: can it.
alejandro: fine.
alejandro: im talltanyounghandsome
heather: same as ig - heatherkasu
tyler: my @ is tylerrrrrrrrrrrr123
lindsay: hey everyone!!! im lindsaylovespinkx
owen: bigolovesfood...thats me haha!
noah: mine is fucking butt_thunder and i have to pay robux to change it.
cody: LMAOOOO
izzy: IM DIZZYIZZYSJHKASJHKHDHS
eva: its all lowercase by the way, and its only dizzyizzy, dont add the random keyboard spam.
eva: cody i swear to god why is my @ sister_thunderthighs
cody: it wasnt me dont kill me
izzy: AT LEAST NOW YOU MATCH WITH NOAH AHAHAHAH
harold: okay join me
///
Harold had opted to play Doors with ten plus players, and the game was already lagging. Geoff and Bridgette ended up joining as well. Lindsay didn't know what Doors was until they'd joined. Every now and then little blips would sound in everyone's headphones alerting that someone had joined the discord call.
Justin's wifi was absolute shit and hanging on by one thread. He kept on glitching in and out on the facecam but his voice and audio was completely fine, but he had to turn his camera off and all everyone could see was a profile photo of his abs.
"Justin, please change that godforsaken profile picture of yours," Noah pleaded. He rustled around to clear the desk as he said it. "You are absolutely rancid."
"I can't figure out how to," Justin said in return. Well, it was actually some abs that were saying it, but we leave out the significant details sometimes. "And plus, your name is literally Butt Thunder so I don't know what you're judging me for."
"That's not an excuse, and I didn't choose that name! Jesus," Noah muttered. Cody snorted quietly amidst the chaos.
Gwen's keyboard clacked violently as she slammed her hands on the table. "Why did I have to get such long acrylics done? Now I can't even rip them off like press ons to soothe myself and be able to play Roblox for once!"
"Maybe you shouldn't have asked for long ass nails," Heather said. She was sitting in her chair, reclined, feet on the table and filing her nails with a smirk on her face. "I mean, honey, what are those?"
"I didn't ask for nails this long. I always get them done pretty short so it's convenient, but this time the lady did them exquisitely longer than Duncan's dick ever will be, and I can't even fucking type." Gwen hit her face on the desk. "Ow."
"What did you say about my dick?" Duncan said.
"That it's short."
"It is not."
"Oh it is so!" Courtney interjected and slammed her hands on the table. "It's tiny, like a sausage."
"Wanna bet?" Duncan said with a smirk and looked to the left of his screen. Courtney looked to her right and the couple stared each other down.
"Guys, can we please stop talking about Duncan's dick and play already?" Harold pleaded. "Join my elevator."
Harold was the experienced one at this game, everyone was loitering at the door wondering how to crouch and he was already on door three. He knew how to beat the Seek chase, the Library, and the second Figure chase. He'd died 212 deaths and beat the game 20 times before. "Hurry up, guys, you're taking forever, I'm at door five already."
Cody was less experienced but had beaten the Library before. Noah kept on yelling about how to use the controls and kept on pressing A instead of W. "You know," Cody said. "You should really play this on an iPad instead, Noah. It's easier to move."
"Zip it, Coco, I can move perfectly fine," Noah said, as he moved backwards.
"Why am I sprinting?" Trent wondered aloud. "How come Harold is moving slowly and I'm sprinting?"
"Um, guys, why am I moving so slow?" Lindsay said. Her microphone was too close to her mouth and her voice was fuzzy and loud.
"It's because you're crouching, Lindsiot, and move that microphone away from your lips! You're not making out with it," Heather said, intently staring at the screen. "Press C."
"Thanks Heathen!"
"Oh my God."
The first dark room was door ten, and it was the room where you had to go underground to find the lever. Lindsay screamed as she got jumpscared by Screech. She completely froze and took her hands off the controls and refused to move.
"Linds, it's fine, whenever you hear the 'psst' noise just look for the creature, okay?" Tyler said comfortingly.
"It's not that hard," Heather said with an eye roll, but everyone ignored her.
"Come on, Linds, just think of it as a party with a monster!" Geoff said. It was a horrible anatomy but everything to him was a party. "Think of it as like an old man wanting to ask you out and you have to look him dead in the eye and say no."
"Geoff, seriously?" Bridgette said.
"I found the lever, everyone, stop following me everywhere!" Harold said. "Gosh!"
Trent got lost downstairs. "Guys? Where are you? It's pitch black and I can't see anything." Justin went back for Trent but they both died to Screech in the process.
"Aw, what the fuck?" Justin complained. "I hate this game."
"I'll spectate," Trent said.
At door sixteen there weren't enough closets. The lights flickered and Harold kept yelling frantically for everyone to get in a closet, but Lindsay couldn't find one in time, and Noah kept walking backwards, so they both died. Geoff stole Bridgette's closet, and then realized ladies should go first, got out, then they took a while thanking each other and then they both died.
"Amateurs," Harold said. "Everyone here but Cody and Duncan are horrible at this game."
"Shut up, you skeez," Heather said, "it's our first time playing."
"I for one am experienced in the art of exploiting, so if you don't see me it's because I've already beaten the game," Alejandro said.
"Cheater!" Heather said, outraged.
Ambush came at door twenty one, and Gwen misclicked and got out too early and died, so did Heather and Courtney. Alejandro, of course, already beat the damn game and was waiting for them at the elevator at the end.
Heather started cussing aesthetically and Courtney just sat back to spectate. Gwen was still messing around with her nails.
Three people died at the Seek chase: Duncan, Eva and Izzy. Eva went insane and broke a chair, while Izzy sat there in denial and thought that who she was spectating (Harold) was her and that she was really an elite gamer. Duncan got mad but cooled off by going on Uber Eats and ordering Chinese takeout for him and Courtney.
Owen was going strong as he walked behind Cody. Cody was looting all over the place and being left behind by Tyler and Harold. Tyler was actually very good at the game, and Lindsay cheered him on.
"If I knew what I was doing with the keyboard then I would have lasted for so long," Noah argued.
"Same thing about me with Ambush," Courtney said, drinking her bubble tea with her legs curled up on the chair.
"This game is so fucking stupid," Heather muttered. "I am spectating Alejandro and he's flying? Alejandro, how are you in a room that hasn't even generated yet?"
"I have my ways."
Owen unfortunately died to the Figure and Tyler got scared but made it past with Harold and Cody. Harold died at the second Seek chase because he took damage to the flames, and then it was just Cody and Tyler.
"Come on, Noah, you can do it!" Lindsay said enthusiastically.
"Yeah, I can," Noah drawled.
Cody died while he was getting the things for the power generator. He looked dead into the camera. "It's up to you now, Tyler."
"Wait, what?" The boy panicked and stayed where he was, crouching.
"I mean, not really. I'm still here," Alejandro said. "I can tell you where the shit is, though."
"Yes! Please, I'm not doing this by myself."
Alejandro proceeded to tell Tyler where all the items he needed to collect were, and then he charged up the power generator and ran to the elevator. As soon as Tyler made it in, Alejandro followed, and they beat the game together.
(Technically Alejandro didn't beat it, but let him have his moment.)
"Woohoo!" Lindsay said. "I knew you could do it!"
"Whatever, I could do so much better," Heather said.
"Same time tomorrow?" Harold offered. "But we play something else."
"I have the perfect game suggestion..." Justin said, before everyone did their goodbyes and left the call.
a/n
lmao i love this for some reason?
i didnt wanna update for tdy so this chapter is late, but its still here!
thank you for all the requests in the oneshots book, im so happy you love my writing and want to request oneshots, it makes my day :)
someone is playing music next door and it sounds so good
thank u and goodbye
- v