"Are you going to tell me what happened at the park the other night?"
"Are you going to tell me why you tried to call me five times and when I finally answered heard nothing but heavy breathing before you hung up?"
"No."
"Then that makes two of us."
What exactly was I supposed to say to her? Was I supposed to tell her that some random guy Stuart works with thinks he's gay and not only that but also might be into him on some level? Maybe I don't pay enough attention around school, but it's not exactly standard behavior for a straight guy to point out how good another straight guy looks, especially behind his back, and Carlos definitely did that.
Fucking Carlos.
It's not that I care so much that Stuart happens to work with a guy who, based on that short conversation outside the coffee shop, might very well be gay. It's not even the fact that he thinks Stuart is cute that gets to me. No. What has affected me so much since I scuttled away in a panic is that I know the truth. I know that Stuart is gay and that, yeah, he actually is quite good looking. But I also know that the thing that Stuart really wants is me and also, the most stinging truth of them all is that, in that moment with the trash cart between us and a free drink in my hand, Carlos felt like competition.
Fucking Carlos.
"And two of us makes a couple." I finally said, staring through the windshield at the front doors to Blank's Bridal and holding my hand in the air between us. "You ready to do this?"
Her hand clapped into mine and she squeezed. "Feels way weirder than all the other times, but yeah. We got this."
"Just don't think about Montana and you'll be golden."
"And speaking of golden maybe you shouldn't think about Stuart." She squeezed at my palm again and grinned. "Did something happen between you two? Is that why they didn't eat lunch with us yesterday?"
Internally I cringed and only barely managed to keep a straight face. "Oh, see, I thought that was your fault." I then twisted my face into a rictus of its own, and she swung both our hands straight at my teeth before letting go.
"Nothing happened with us."
"She didn't yell at you, did she? Did you make a mistake and get yelled at? I can talk to her. It's not a big deal, Char. All you have to do is—"
"—nothing happened!" She said, almost barking, then jumped out of the car. "Come on. Let's get this over with."
The doors to Blank's had opened fifteen minutes ago, and there had been a line of at least a dozen couples outside when we had pulled in. Some of them we knew, some we didn't. A few even waved when they noticed us. Charlotte had cheerily waved back, then ducked her head and groaned into her hands. It was one thing to fake a relationship for a few minutes in between classes or sitting at a lunch table by ourselves, but for Homecoming and Prom we had to take our act out into the real world, or at least to Blank's, and play our parts under the microscope of the romantic traditions of the high school dance.
It was easier when we were younger and more awkward but, now that we had been 'together' for four years and as far as anyone knew had never so much as had a single argument with each other, a stink of 'happily ever after' was starting to swirl around us.
Charlotte had marched herself halfway across the parking lot before her gait slowed and she turned back to me. After two more steps she stopped completely and then held her hand out in my direction.
"What?" I asked as I caught up.
She wiggled her hand and her head drooped. "Hold my hand."
"Sure." I wrapped it back up in mine. It always had felt weird, but it was a rather normal weird. "Are you okay?"
"I just..." she sighed and let her eyes raise up to mine. "...I just want her to like me."
"Did she yell at you?" I asked again.
"Not even once." Her voice was soft, but crackling. "She said I did a good job. I think we might be..." her shoulders rolled, "...friends...maybe?"
"And you're sad about that?"
Her grip on hand tightened, but not in a good way. "I don't want to be her friend, Alex."
"You have to start somewhere."
"I am making the decision to not vocalize where I would rather be starting." She said, the crackle sputtering into a chuckle. "What kind of a dress do you think she'd want to see me in?"
"You're asking me?!"
Her chuckle bubbled up louder. I glanced around to make sure nobody else was nearby, or at least not paying attention. "Well I'm not asking her. At least you're her cousin."
"And we are so similar."
"That's why I dated you first." She said, swinging her free hand around to smack me on the shoulder. "What about you? Are you trying to give Stuart a show on the dance floor?"
I coughed so hard I had to let go of her hand to clutch at my chest. "I...I...I don't think that's necessary. A suit is a suit is a suit." My throat was burning. "And, uh, if what Montana says is true then I don't really need to wear anything special to get his attention."
"I'm sure it would get his attention if you didn't wear anything." She said as she took my hand back. "And that'd definitely be special for everyone."
"I'll do it if you do it." I said, then waited for her reaction. I did expect a little more than a casual eye roll as I opened the door and we stepped into Blank's.
"I'm wearing a dress, Alex."
"Then you've come to the right place, hmmmmm?" An older gentleman appeared in front of us with a measuring tape wrapped around his neck. "Are we outfitting you for Homecoming, dearie?"
"Uh...yeah." Charlotte's head joined mine in craning around the room. Did more people sneak in here when we weren't paying attention? "I think I just want to look around on my own."
"Me too." I said.
"Yeah, a suit is a suit is a suit."
"If that is what you think, then I'm not sure I would be of much help to you anyway." The man said. "Enjoy your shopping and if you do happen to need me, I will be around to assist you."
"Will do." We both said, and I gave him a salute. He did not seemed pleased. "Uh, let's do you first."
"Right. 'Cause a suit is a suit is—"
"—god. Is this what Montana likes?"
"Annoying you? Probably." She grinned, then took off toward the first racks of dresses with me in tow.
We were half way down the first aisle, with Charlotte rejecting everything, when we spotted Gina Salinas coming in the other direction. She looked unnervingly happy.
"Heeeeeey...thought I'd see you two here."
"You did?" Charlotte gave me a glance.
I shrugged. "Uh, you did?"
"I don't think I've ever been in here without seeing you two." She swayed back and forth, absentmindedly looking at whatever dresses were nearest. "I got to be honest that I was a little shocked that you didn't try to get on the Homecoming Court."
"That's for, like, the football players and their cheerleader girlfriends. Not exactly our scene."
"I think you would have got some votes." She said as she pulled a dress free and held it up to her. It was very chartreuse. "Oh well, there's always Prom, right? That's the one everyone really wants, anyway."
"Not me."
"Yeah, me either. I don't even think I'd want to date a cheerleader." I said, seeing if I could get a reaction from Charlotte.
I got another eye roll. "Um, I don't think it would have been too bad dating someone a little more sporty." She reached for my hand. "Kidding, babe. Just kidding."
"Heh. She calls you babe? Didn't know that."
I squeezed at Charlotte's hand. "What can I say? I guess she has a thing for babes."
Gina laughed just as hard as Charlotte wrenched at my fingers. I had to fight to not yelp. "No offense, Randolph, but I never struck you as babe material."
"Add that to the list of reasons he isn't dating you, I guess." Charlotte said, then walked past Gina while dragging me behind. "We still have a lot of store to search, babe."
"...babe." I heard Gina say, still sounding a little confused, as we moved deeper into the store.
When we finally stopped at the end of a row, I let go off her hand. "You okay...uh...babe?"
"Sorry...sorry...I just need to get a dress and get out of here."
"It's fine. I think she bought it. Everything's cool."
"They always buy it. They don't have to buy it. We're just us. It's not a game to them." As she whispered, her breath got heavy. "Is this what we should be doing?"
"Is what what we should be doing?"
"Homecoming."
"We always go to Homecoming."
"But...but...but...but..." she paused, took a few more low breaths, and sighed. "I want her to like me."
"You said that."
"What if she doesn't want me? What if she wants someone more like her? I can't be like her."
"I don't have any answer for you." I had never really seen her look like this. "That is something you'd have to ask her, not me."
She shook her head. "Nope. Not doing that."
"Do you need any help?" The man from the front of the store sidled up next to us. "Anything wrong with the selection?" It was then that I noticed both how close me and Charlotte were standing to each other and how much it looked like she was preparing to have some kind of meltdown.
"Oh, we're fine. She's just, uh, having trouble making a choice."
"Happens to the best of us." He deadpanned, then walked away. "I will be around again in a while to check in."
"The only thing you can do is be yourself." I said. "She liked you well enough at the park so...that's a start."
"Go get your suit." She whimpered. "I'll figure something out."
"Uh...okay. You sure?"
"I'm sure...babe."
The men's section of Blank's was about a tenth the size of the women's, and while I had most definitely seen at least a half dozen couples walk through the door before us, only one other guy was shopping as I snaked my way through the aisles to grab pants and a jacket before grinding to a halt in front of a wall full of shirts and ties.
"Crap." I yanked my phone out of my pocket and dialed Charlotte. "Hey, what colors do I need to get?"
"You're asking me?"
"Yeah. What color are you getting? We have to match."
"Oh...right. Duh." The sound of rustling filled my ear. "Blue."
"Blue?"
"Ocean blue. Yeah. Do that." The call went dead and I didn't bother to try to call back. I was standing directly in front of the blues and had to check over my shoulder to make sure she wasn't just watching from the other side of the store to mess with me.
With around thirty shades of blue to choose from, it took me close to ten minutes to decide on a proper shade for 'ocean'. It didn't help matters that thinking of the ocean put my mind on the beach and to that day on the pier and, quickly, back to Stuart's shirtless body in the grass at the skate park.
I eventually picked up a lighter shade for the shirt and a darker one for the tie before heading back to the front of the store. Charlotte was already waiting for me with a large bag draped over her shoulder.
I held up my blues to her and shrugged. "Good enough?"
"Yep." Her eyes were screaming that we needed to get out of here. "Let's go."
I had not seen any other guys come into my section, but there were at least a dozen more girls hunting through the racks behind Charlotte, including Gina still holding her bright green-yellow gown.
"Got rough over there?"
"Uh huh." She sighed again.
After a few too many minutes of mindless chit-chat about the dance with the old man, we were back out into the lot and free. I was just about to suggest going to Valley Brew for some coffee and no other reason when a horn honked over my shoulder and a familiar green car turned into the empty space next to me.
"Of course we'd find you here." Montana said as she popped out of the passenger seat next to me. I glanced across at Charlotte, who ducked herself down as if looking for something through her window. "Let me guess...it's a madhouse in there?"
"Pretty much." I said as Stuart bounded around his car to meet Montana. "Men's side is empty."
"Good." Stuart ruffled his hair. "I always take forever trying to find stuff that fits."
"It, uh, didn't take us long at all."
"Find something good quick, Charley?" Montana yelled.
Charlotte looked ready to faint. "I think so."
"Let me guess...it's green."
"Blue." She squeaked. "Ocean blue."
Montana grinned. "That would have been my second guess."
"Didn't..." Stuart stopped and ducked himself down until is head was nearly on Montana's shoulder. "...didn't you say you wanted to wear blue, too?"
"I said I wanted to wear something more like you. No dress for me this year." Her nose flew up and she made a little show of being disgusted, then grabbed at his arm. "I would also like to get this over as quickly as possible, so try to hurry up."
"I can only do what I can do." He said as she dragged him away. "I'm sure you both will look great!" He gave us both a wave before nearly stumbling over the sidewalk.
When I looked back at Charlotte, she was already in the car and closing her door. As soon as I was sitting next to her and my door was closed, she slumped her head down on my dash and groaned.
"Alex..."
"Yeah?"
"...should I have picked green?"