I'm extremely happy with this chapter. We can thank my anger issues for coming up with this🥰
I really hope y'all will like it!!!
ENJOY READING!💗
T.W. blood, mention of self harm, screaming, arguing, crying, comfort.
1941 words.
—————
Matt Sturniolo felt like a huge burden. His brothers know it, they've always known. The problem though is that when Matt feels like a burden he starts pushing everyone away. Nick and Chris have been trying to be around him as much as they could because of Matt's mental health and self harm addiction but Matt declines them every time they even talk to him nowadays.
Nick and Chris are obviously very worried and don't know what to do anymore. Matt never took it so far before, basically because of his attachment issues and the fact he feels alone very quickly.
Nick's POV:
I'm laying in my bed right now. Alone.
Normally I sleep with Matt but he's really been pushing me away lately and he doesn't allow me to sleep with him anymore. I'm really starting to worry because Matt's self destructive side shows
even more when being alone and I don't want him to do anything to himself. I know Chris feels the same way and it kinda hurts seeing his disappointed eyes when Matt tells him he doesn't want to hang out.
Suddenly he hears something strange. It's coming from Matt's room. Crying?
Yes, it sounds like crying. My heart sinks to my feet as I instantly get out of my bed and start to walk to Matt's room. The crying gets louder when I'm in front of his door. I lean forward and try to listen through the door. I thinks he's on his bed because his sobs are muffled and I hear where his crying is coming from.
"Matt?" I say while knocking on the door. "You okay?" I hear Matt instantly trying to stop crying and he takes a deep, shaky breath. "Matt, you know you can tell me anything right?" It stays quiet for a minute but right when I start to think he won't answer me I hear Matt saying: "I'm fine Nick just, leave me alone." I feel a heartstring being pulled because I can hear the pain in his voice.
I hesitate but decide to talk to him tomorrow. Dumb idea? Probably, but right now I don't know what to do and I don't want to approach this in the wrong way.
I walk to Chris's room because I don't want to be alone right now. I know Chris isn't the best at comforting people but that's not what I need. All I need right now is a plan. (and maybe a hug.)
So I walk through my brother's bedroom door without knocking. Chris is asleep on his bed. I kinda feel embarrassed right now because I normally never really come to anyone for comfort. I'm usually the one who comforts or Matt and Chris come to my room because they realized I needed to be comforted. But I almost never came to them. I decide to suck it up and walk to Chris's side.
"Chris?" I say, while shaking his shoulder gently. Chris opens his eyes almost immediately. "Nick, what's wrong?" He asks confused. "Can I sleep with you? I don't want to be alone, I just caught Matt crying and he doesn't want to talk to me.." Chris's gaze softens and he looks at me with pity in his eyes.
"Of course, C'mere Nicky." He smiles as he pushes the sheets up, motioning for me to lay beside him. I instantly get next to him in bed and we both snuggle closer to each other. I feel him striking my hair softly as I bury my face deeply in his chest. "Goodnight Nicky." I hear him whisper sweetly.
"Goodnight." I answer. I think Chris is pretty good at comforting people when he really wants it, but maybe it's because I just like the way he comforts me.
————————
The next morning.
Third person POV:
————————
Matt wakes up with a throbbing headache and a sore throat, probably because of all the crying. He groans miserably as he heads downstairs for some food, he's extremely hungry and just needs some food.
Matt discovered a while ago that when he has bad self harm urges he can just, eat. So that's what he does. No matter how embarrassing he finds it, how guilty he feels after, he can't stop when he started.
But his determination abruptly leaves his body when he sees his two brothers sitting at the kitchen table, eating breakfast.
Nick and Chris both look up when they've realized Matt has entered the room. He looks at them startled. They look right back, but what they see is a lot scarier. Matt looks like shit, his eye bags are huge, Matt's face is paler then you could imagine and tear stains are printed all over his face.
But what comes most to Nick and Chris's attention is his oversized hoodie that looks like he hasn't taken off in weeks. Thousands of questions fill their heads, not only Chris and Nick.
But Nicks brain only thinks about one thing.
'What is under that hoodie?'
"Morning Matt." Chris says, trying to act casual. When Matt realizes there's no way out of this, he sighs and walks up to the plate of pancakes that has been placed on the table for him. "Hi." He answers, giving Nick a quick glance.
Matt starts to eat the pancakes so no one would expect him to talk.
"Matt.." but Matt can already tell from Nicks tone that he doesn't want to have this conversation right now. Anxiety rises up and Matt's heart starts beating faster. "I'm not doing this right now Nick." Matt rubs his chest roughly for some comfort as he chews on the insane amount of pancake he just stuffed in his mouth.
"Matt, pull your sleeves up."
Anger fills Matt's body, this was the only thing Nick cared about? Chris's mouth almost drops at the comment Nick just made but he quickly decides there's no time for that right now.
"Woah Nick, maybe not now.." he hesitantly says while putting a hand on his brother's shoulder and rubbing it softly. Nick sighs. "No, Matt, pull your sleeves up I'm not gonna ask again."
Matt, confused by the sudden attack starts to boil with anger. Tears prick his eyes but he won't let them fall since that would make him seem weak.
Instead, he gets up. "Fuck you Nick." He exclaims, trying to control his anger. But Nick follows him and grabs him by the shoulder. "Matt, sleeves, up." He commands. Matt shakes out of the elders hold. "IS THAT SERIOUSLY ALL YOU CARE ABOUT NOW?" He cries, without letting tears fall. Matt's voice is desperate and hurt, it's an awful thing to hear but Nick doesn't seem to care.
"Yes."
Disbelief enters his eyes. He lets a few tears escape. Chris is just standing there, looking at Matt. Chris knows this wasn't the right approach, but it's too late now. So he just stands there and looks at Matt. Already imagining the dried blood on the boys wrists.
Matt scoffs and pulls both of his sleeves up, he even turns them around but all they see is old scars. "Wow.." he says while turning around again. "Matt.." Nick exclaims.
"You're a fucking loser Nick!" He yells as he runs up the stairs to his room.
Matt enters his bathroom and slams the door closed while sobbing loudly. His chest tightens and he can't breathe anymore. He leans against the wall while gasping for air desperately. Anger floods through his body. he tries to open his drawer only to find it sealed shut with a lock. Of course Nick locked the drawer where his razors were in.
Out of pure panic and rage Matt balls up his fist and throws it against the bathroom mirror with full force. The mirror breaks immediately but not before Matt lets out a loud scream of pain.
He collapses on his knees. blood pours out of his fist with pieces of glass cutting through his skin.
The door flies open and Nick and Chris rush through it.
Matt's POV:
I can't hear or see anything, my eyes are squeezed shut and pain is numbing my whole body. I suddenly feel two arms wrap around me and pulling me close into their chest. I let loud sobs escape as I lean into the person's touch. Another wave of pain enters my fist and I let out a loud scream which I try to muffle in the person's shirt.
I feel them holding me and striking my hair. I suddenly hear Chris talk to me, saying comforting words and I realize he's the one holding me. "Chris." I sob. "Shh, I know baby I know." He soothes.
"M'tt im going to take care- hand right now okay?" I hear. it's Nick. I'm surprised he wants to help me right now but I still nod.
Nick carefully takes out all the pieces of glass that are stuck in my skin and when he's sure he's done he wipes alcohol over my wounds.
Third person POV again :)
Matt's cries have died down a bit but that doesn't mean he stopped completely. There are still tears streaming down his face and when Nick starts to wipe the alcohol on his hand he hides his face in Chris's chest again to sob.
Chris holds him the whole time, saying comforting words and hugging him while Nick takes care of the wounds. Thank god Nick payed attention in the first aid class they followed.
After Nick cleaned the wounds he grabs bandage and wraps it around Matt's hand, tight but gentle.
When everything is done Nick gives Matt a kiss on the head and rubs his back. Matt is still clinging on Chris who is now running his hands through his hair. He opens his eyes slowly and quickly breaks out in a "I'm so sorry."
Nicks heart breaks for the gazilionth time this day. "It's okay Matty, I'm just glad you're alright." Nick sighs while sitting down next to them and joining the hug. "Let's, get you to bed okay? You're exhausted, you need some rest." Nick tells him and brushes some hair off of Matt's sweaty forehead.
Matt nods and before he knows it he's being lifted in Chris's arms and getting brought to his bed. "Please don't leave.." Matt mutter hesitantly. "We won't sweetheart, I promise." Nick tells him while he gets next to him in the bed just as Chris.
Nick allows Matt to rest his head on his chest and Chris grabs Matt's hand. They stay there, all hugging with each other.
"I'm sorry, for everything." Matt's voice breaks. "I guess I was feeling like a burden again and, decided to push you away. Also sorry about the mirror, it'll probably take a lot to clean that up.."
Chris and Nick hold Matt even tighter. "Matty, you don't have to be sorry baby, we understand. And I don't give a fuck about that mirror." Chris laughs slightly. Nick agrees. "Yeah, I'm sorry though Matt. About the whole.. sleeve thing. I shouldn't have handled it that way."
Matt nods "it's okay Nicky, thank you for taking care of me."
"No problem Matty, we'll always be here for you, I promise." Chris says while rubbing circles on Matt's not injured hand.
"Thanks guys."
And by that Matt closes his eyes, genuinely enjoying the moment for a second.
"My hand hurts."