Riley: Whatcha got there...?
Y/n: *Petting Phantom* A smoothie.
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Phantom Virus: Y/n! I can't do this stupid math!
Y/n: What's the math problem?
Phantom Virus: Well, we have to add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and hope we don't multiply.
Riley: *Covering Dylan's ears*
Y/n: *Smacks Phantom upside the head*
Riley: Not going to lie, that was hella smooth.
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Phantom Virus: I love you.
Y/n: I love you too. I've waited so long to hear you say that.
*Phantom and Y/n kiss passionately*
Dylan: *To Riley* You owe me $20 dollars.
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Y/n: That's ridiculous. Phantom doesn't have a crush on me.
Riley: Yes they do.
Dylan: Yes they do.
Phantom Virus: Yes i do.
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Dylan: Why is Phantom crying on the floor?
Riley: They're drunk.
Dylan: And?
Riley: They saw a picture of Y/n's spouse.
Dylan: But, they're Y/n's spouse.
Riley: I know.
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Phantom Virus: How is the most beautiful person in the world?~
Y/n: *Blushing* I-
Dylan: *Butting into the conversation* Riley is perfect, thanks for asking.
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Dylan: Y/n, we're hungry!
Riley: Y/n! What's for dinner?
Phantom Virus: We're hungry, Y/n!
Y/n: *Frying a bottle of ketchup over the stove* ... *Screams*
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Phantom Virus: HYDRATE OR DIE-DRATE! *Aggressively throws water bottles*
Dylan: Uh...what's up with them?
Riley: They're trying to yell mental health and wellbeing into us.
Phantom Virus: I APPRECIATE ALL OF YOU!
Y/n: *Crying* It's working.
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Dylan: Why do you look like that?
Phantom Virus: *Laying face-first on the floor* Like what?
Dylan: Like you're dead.
Phantom Virus: It's because i'm dying. Leave me here to perish.
Riley: Phantom accidentally called Y/n "babe" in front of everyone today.
Phantom Virus: *Sobs into the floor*
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Phantom Virus: What is love?
Riley: An emotional minefield.
Y/n: A neurochemical reaction.
Dylan: Baby, don't hurt me.
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Y/n: Just be careful, Phantom!
Phantom Virus: *Heading out the door* I'm always careful, Y/n! It's everything around me that's careless.
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*At a zoo*
Phantom Virus: What are they in for?
Y/n: Phantom, this isn't prison.
Phantom Virus: So they can leave?
Y/n: No, but-
Phantom Virus: *Pointing at a meerkat* I bet that one murdered someone.
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Y/n: *Helping Phantom break out of prison* So...does this make us partner's in crime?
Phantom Virus: Don't push it.
Y/n: Oh my gosh, we can be like Harley Quinn and the Joker!
Phantom Virus: If you don't stop talking, they're adding "murder" to the charges.
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Y/n: Why did you leave wrestlemania on for the cats?
Phantom Virus: They need to learn how to protect us.
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Y/n: I need a long word.
Phantom Virus: T-rex but the long one.
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Phantom Virus: *Putting their hands over Y/n's eyes* Guess who!
Y/n: It's either Phantom, or the cold, clammy hands of death.
Phantom Virus: *Putting their hands away* It's Phantom!
Y/n: D###it!
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Phantom Virus: *Jumping out of Y/n's closet* BOO!
Y/n: ......
Phantom Virus: ......
Y/n: ......
Phantom Virus: *Makes a sad face*
Y/n: Ahh! Oh my god! You scared me!
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Phantom Virus: I'm going to fight the next person who insults Y/n.
Y/n: I hate myself.
Phantom Virus: Alright, square up.
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Phantom Virus: I'm sorry. Please, talk to me.
Y/n: ......
Phantom Virus: Hello? World's most amazing person?? Sweet pea? Precious cinnamon roll that's too good for this world, too pure?
Y/n: "Sorry" doesn't bring back my f###### M&M's.
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Phantom Virus: Y/n, if you don't shut up i'm going to throw myself out of the car.
*Click*
Phantom Virus: DID YOU JUST TURN THE F###### CHILDREN'S LOCK ON??