Omae no Princess (Your princess)
The princess's fiancé.
I had felt desperation in my bones many times throughout my life, sometimes stronger than others. The two most terrible were when through that screen I saw the news of the destruction of Junius 7... and along with it, the fact of understanding that I had lived like a puppet at the mercy of the wishes of my father, who targeted me with his own gun.
Both times I felt like the heartbeat inside my chest stopped for a moment. I thought that after that there would be nothing that could disturb me so strongly, even though I was in my own search for the reason to fight and I knew that things would happen along the way that could surprise me for better or worse.
However, to think that I could be left without her... that I could lose her, was too much for my reason.
After all, I didn't exist and there was nothing I could truly offer her other than my unconditional love, but in the territory of protecting the nation she needed, that was practically saying nothing.
I had tried to remain stable in front of her when she told me... even though I felt like I was out of breath, but I couldn't just start crying while observing the complexity of the decision in the amber eyes that I loved so much. It was horrible for her... more horrible than for me, because she would be the one to walk away from our relationship... to join someone else.
And although that would be far from happening... or rather it was a plan that it was thought could be avoided... the mere fact that that man was her fiancé disgusted me, since, in front of the world, the one who had the right to lie At her side, holding her hand, leaning on her small shoulders... and stealing her kisses would be him, when she was mine...
Mine... like something obtained in the shadows equal to a theft.
That afternoon I had arrived as usual at my room and without saying too much we had ended up giving ourselves as we had promised to each other since that first meeting months ago when I had just joined their care squad with my new identity.
But that time... something wasn't right. I felt her uneasy and insecure, but at the same time she clung to me with such need that she seemed afraid that I would leave at that special moment for both of us. We couldn't continue, she didn't feel well and without stopping her surrounding my back in a tight hug I felt her tremble in the middle of crying.
She needed to vent so I stayed there receiving the embrace of her warm body against mine. I don't know how much time we spent in that position that between kisses to her hair I tried to comfort her.
Until I felt her thin fingers begin to move over my skin. She had taken to carefully caressing my scars and was doing it again.
- It doesn't hurt, Cagalli...
- I don't want anything to ever hurt you again...
- I think that is something that cannot be promised... because being hurt is part of living.
She didn't say anything else, even though when we bring up the topic of life, she always takes it with a very interesting philosophy. What's more, it was her words about life that made me here now.
- I think sometimes I lose hope too...
- Why do you say that?...
I waited, knowing that what I would have to say would undoubtedly be terrible, for although the crying had stopped, it was a compelling reason if it had broken out in the first place.
She took the blankets in her hands and carried them against her chest, making sure she looked decent for the transmission of the news, even if it was under the blanket of my bed.
- It's something... that has been discussed for a few weeks in the Council. Although let's say that it is a matter that I have known since I was little. But... I never thought it would come true...
- Is that what made you cry?... I don't like it when you cry... it makes me feel so... helpless...
She rushed to place her hand on mine and I will never forget how her beautiful face lay soaked in the tears that flowed down her peach cheeks in spurts.
- I do not want! I swear I didn't look for it!
-But what are you talking about?...
It seemed that if Cagalli didn't speak at that moment she would end up exploding, so I held her tightly in my arms.
- Whatever... you can count on me, you know that I will be with you no matter what, we will find a solution.
- Yuna...
- Yuna?
Her response had only created more questions in me. Was it a person's name? And if so, what had happened?
- Forgive me... I think this is neither the time nor the place...
She seemed sheltered between the white fabric that barely covered her and her comment led me to look over the four walls that isolated us from the world, which, very contrary to what she thought, filled me with security in the sense that we could be ourselves there.
- I cannot guarantee that the walls do not have ears... but since it is the room of a soldier or... in this case a civilian given to the care of the representative, I suppose that there must be some security, I do not think that the information will leak from here...
I tried to divert her attention from the obvious.
- You know that's not what I'm talking about.
I sighed deeply, I couldn't beat his sagacity.
- So that means that that person you are talking about... is capable of generating that torment in you... because it is something that has to do with us... as a couple.
- It wasn't difficult to come to that conclusion if I can't finish making love to you because of him...
- I know... I just didn't want to force you to talk about it abruptly... but from the moment you replaced your pleasant smile with crying, I knew I was going to end up killing someone...
- Athrun!
-Who is Yuna?... And why does he make you so sad?
- The... Seiran family... has representation in the Emirates of the Council... and it was supposed to be a good idea to establish a cordial relationship with... the Athha, due to the fact that if my father were to be absent... I would assume the Supreme Command of Orb .
No... I didn't like the direction of the explanation at all, but I couldn't take my eyes off her, observing how her features showed the helplessness that screamed to get out of her.
The words she said immediately triggered the memory of my own situation with the Klein family. Cagalli was trying to tell me that she was engaged...
- Were you... promised to that guy?... Did he appear in front of you to assert his right?
I had been completely right, my princess's amber eyes turned into liquid gold when I asked her.
- I swear I don't want it! But what can I do?! They say I'm too young to carry the nation's destiny alone! How do I tell them that I can't be with him?!
I think the panic in her questions got under my skin. What could I do to free her from that?... If I was nothing... I couldn't respond with something stupid like thinking about stealing her and running away to live our love somewhere else... because she was Orb... Without Cagalli, where would be the ideals for which his father had died?...
- No... listen to me...
And there I was trying to calm her down while my own heart seemed to have stopped.
- It's not fair...
- Of course it is not... but I also believe that there are things in this world that happen for some reason... and this matter has many corners to take it...
- Corners?...
I sighed, trying to find the right words to please her with the explanation that I myself was trying to invent for myself.
- On the one hand, you feel very overwhelmed by me... by the fact of how I will take it, when Cagalli... by me it is the least or the most, the one you should not worry about. After all I will always be here for you. And what is happening is something that I can understand...
My decision to say what was best for her to hear was bad...since the lie that I had disguised as maturity at that moment would haunt me while it ate my mind day by day and the fact that she was engaged to whoever...destroyed my soul little by little.
-Athrun...
- Don't forget that the same thing happened to me... I know what the commitment of a marriage of convenience means and therefore I also know that it will not be consummated by force, we will have done something between now and then having to confront that moment.
- You're sure?...
I wanted to believe the answer I would give her with all my heart.
- That's how it will be... Just promise me that you are not going to get married... that, even if it is the necessary option, you will not do it... that you will wait for me.
- I don't intend to do it... I'm not going to get married...
- Then I will also make you a promise... one day I will put a ring on your finger and then you will be my wife... just give me a little time.
- Athrun... Talking about marriage sounds so far away... and so mature...
- I'm not saying it will be tomorrow, baby.
I purposely threw in that colorful way of calling her, we barely talked about the topic of sharing her with someone else... and she was already starting to freak out. I needed to get out of that darkness.
- Ba? Baby! Don't call me that, you fool!
In the most hilarious way possible, I received the attack from her cushion, to take advantage of the force that she herself had used and knock her down again under me.
- Along with that way of calling you, there are many more queuing up...
- I never imagined that you were one of those who gives nicknames...
- I'm not... but I call you with the truth... beautiful...
The words slipped from my lips as I saw the blush settle on her furious face, she liked that I called her that, even if she squirmed.
- Moron...
- Princess...
I whispered, I know I was going far with my provocative words, but I couldn't stop if I tried to stimulate her, I don't know if it was the feeling of potentially losing her, but everything inside me claimed her and with that last word I lay down on her her neck.
- Knight... my red knight...
The words dragged between her teeth, so slowly and softly, that her whisper touched my cheek tenderly, while her small hands climbed over my back.
- Allow no one else to call you princess, ever...
Her emotions seeped into me, making me feel like I was in a fairy tale, in which the knight had conquered the unattainable princess... me... the useless knight. And I kissed her again.
This was another of the many first times I had lived with her... Always her.
Within a few minutes we had resumed what we interrupted.
The sounds escaped from my throat in a stealthy but voracious way in the perfect mix of what she made me feel, I would enjoy every second... since tomorrow I would be Alex Dino again and I would see her standing next to me and maybe holding hands with that guy... Yuna.