There was something about the lights as they hit Julian that made him look so much more angelic. Not in a saintly angel way tho, more like a fallen angel with a mysterious and lonely past.
I snap pictures of him from the pit in front of the stage, my final resting spot after having had gone deeper into the crowd and then to the side stage to get all angles. His curly hair is tight and floppy as it moves with his body. Even from here, I could see his chest caving in and his mouth gaping for air.
The show ends in ten minutes and this is his second to last song. The openers were mostly underground bands that even I had to look up and eventually add to my playlists.
But despite Julian being incredibly hot and fascinating the look at, I have also been snapping pictures with the focus of the rest of the crew; like Lola and Harvey as they supported their dancers.
Harvey is full of energy—even more energy than when we started in fact—while Lola, has had this distant stare the entire show. Distant, but hasn't missed a step.
And it feels like every time I snap a pic of her, she sees. She instantly feels that I'm focused on her and flashes a glance in my direction. I have a theory that I'm just being paranoid, but after our conversation from earlier, I think she just is feeling uneasy about me.
"No, I'm not sleeping with Julian. Don't worry, he's all yours"
Those were my exact words. The last part was an attempt to lighten the mood but she didn't laugh. She didn't even blink. I don't know if she knows for sure that I'm lying but I know she's suspicious. I don't think I should be concerned about her outing anything if she does know because she obviously cares about Julian, but I am concerned about the comfortability of the next three months.
...
"You editing the pictures?"
I hum at Julian, droplets from his wet hair splashing on my back as he shakes it dry with a towel. He smells less of pine and spearmint and more of a strong burnt wood.
"You distracting me isn't helping me do my job."
He smirks, a slick chuckle puffing out from his throat. "What am I seducing you right now by being naked?"
My eyebrow raises before scrunching back together. "No, but your wet hair splashing all over my clean, dry shirt and my laptop is. And why do you smell like a manly soap commercial?"
"What? Do you like it?" His voice fades as he walks off toward the bathroom right outside the small room's door.
A smile falls on my lips, my fingers still smashed against the keyboard. "I don't know. I'm getting middle school flashbacks."
He remains silent for a moment, his stiff posture
"Oh don't say that."
I release a laugh from my throat and glance back at the tormented man. "I'm just kidding, Julian. You smell good. Come look at these." I look back at home once again, this time watching him until he reaches me. His waist is covered by his towel as it sags on his hips, his left hand holding the front up lightly.
He leans over my shoulder, the bed sinking in slightly as his palm presses into the sheeted mattress. "Wow..." His eyes hover slowly over different details of the image.
"I took this in the middle of your set. I was...on JJ's shoulders in the pit."
Julian's eyes flicker away from the screen, confusion and a smile plastered on his entire face. I can even see his dimple popping out and a small light shining through his eyes.
"You and JJ are close? How'd that happen?"
I shrug one of my shoulders, my head shaking lightly. "We aren't close. We barely talk, but he offered when he saw me struggling to get the right angle on my tiptoes. And they wouldn't let me stand on the speaker."
He laughs, his body falling onto the bed next to me and my eyes following. He props himself up with his arm and stares up at me with those wet curls in his face.
"How'd you get into photography?"
"Are you asking me a question about myself?"
He rolls his eyes slightly, his gaze landing in the corner of the room and the smile lingering on one corner of his lips. "I've asked you questions before."
"Yeah but not really. You seem to be in a better mood than usual anyway. Laughing and smiling and shit."
He chuckled deeply, the sound pulling a smile out of me. "Isn't this how I was when we met?"
"Not really. There was more sex involved. And you were silent, but I guess you were a gentleman."
"Oh, I'm a gentleman?" He smirks as the words fall from his tongue, the question mark obvious even in his words.
"No, I said—"
My phone rings loudly from the top of the bed. I can see Rooks' name pop up on the screen and all of a sudden the ringing seems more urgent than before.
I see Julian watching me as I reach for the phone, guaranteed that he saw the name as well though I doubt it means anything to him.
I answer the call and press it lightly to my ear. My back presses against the pillows as I watch Julian walk off back out of the room and into the bathroom, his face fallen. "Hello?"
"Nice to fucking hear from you! I don't get updates but you sure do remember to update that porn site of yours."
I unwillingly smile at the concern in his voice. "Sounds like you care about me."
"Shut up, sugar plum. There's nothing wrong with me showing concern for you. I was surprised to even show up to your house and find nobody home and just a note saying you'd be back. I was tempted to wait for you."
"You mean the day everything blew up?"
He hums, sass the only tone present.
"Maybe you should've. I eventually did come home that night."
I can hear him sigh on the other end, his eyes now shut and his tone calm within him. I know what I did was wrong, especially considering that Rooks does care for me even though I'm a terrible person. He understands that; he understands my faults.
"I should've called. I know. I'm sorry. But I'm really okay. I'm stuck in a bit of a sticky situation but I'm okay."
I stand up, my arm tucked underneath the meaty bit of the either while my phone remains pressed to my ear and the bus shakes to a stop. I walk past Julian, ignoring his questioning gaze from the bathroom mirror as I head for the front of the bus.
"Well...I'm glad. I should've warned you anyway. But hey, you have an almost respectable job now and it's not spreading those beautiful legs. Or only spreading them."
I laugh, the cold air hitting me as I stand under the light of the gas station hood. "Yea. It's a pretty okay deal...I mean it's not like I'm opposed to sex, I enjoy it so much I made it a hustle."
"An illegal hustle."
"One that you helped me with."
He blew out a breath, glasses clinking in the background and the sound of heels suddenly appearing. "Nah, you just have a way with words and men. I just happened to be a victim too."
Rooks could never have been my victim and he knows it. He's too much like me, something he already knows as well. Rooks just holds a lot less guilt for anything he does and sometimes I'm sure he doesn't feel it at all. No regrets, I guess.
"Whatever you say chess piece," light and deep laughter pours from his throat like bitter lemonade "I have to go though. It was nice talking to you."
He's silent for a minute. Like he has more to say but doesn't know what to say, which isn't one of his characteristics; being speechless, I mean.
My lips part slightly as I watch Julian step from the bus, now fully clothed in pajamas and that restful stare sunk in his eyes.
"Yeah...well, I guess I should go too. The bar is open. I'll talk to you later, cupcake."
"Bye Rooks. Don't get into too much trouble...I'm not there to bail you out."
"...Take care of yourself."
As the line clicks, I watch Julian's hands reach for my waist before backing away, realizing his mistake. I smile and tilt my head to the side, his eyes dull but showing a little brightness from the bright white light.
"Don't worry, I'll show you plenty of love on the bus. We have a job to do, right?"
His expression doesn't move, doesn't even flicker. And it almost seems like that's not enough for him.