Marking the 10th chapter, on a MaAn day! Thank you one and all, for the support. Happy Reading.
Romi nudged RG again. She was in a trance and kept murmuring 'Gaurav, yes, yes'
Romi shook her 'Rupali, what happened?'
RG sat up with a jerk. She was disoriented. She looked around to find GK nowhere around. She was wondering if it was all happening inside her head.
Romi- what a scene! You guys are amazing. Very spontaneous. We have only written and visualised 5% of the scene and you both have added a 200% with your improvisations in dialogs and actions. No wonder you both are Television's phenomenon.
RG was still reeling. She wondered if he heard her answer his question. All that she was very certain about was she had said 'Yes you matter to me the most' to him. But finding him gone, made her wonder if he left on hearing her reply or he left without knowing what was going on inside her.
She jumped from the bonnet and ran to the caravan, because she needed to be left alone. She was getting frustrated with herself for letting him break her guard every time. By the time she reached her caravan, her disappointment with herself escalated to a point of rage towards GK. she stormed into the caravan and went straight to his side of the vehicle. She opened the door to his room without knocking.
It was pitch dark inside and a familiar scent caught her off guard.
RG- Gaurav.
There was no response.
She stepped into the dark, wet from the drizzle. She was expecting him to seek her out.
RG- Gaurav, switch on the lights.
No response again. She looked for her phone and realised she had left if with her stylist.
She slowly managed to reach his dresser and fumbled to find the switch to his mirror lights. The lights went on with a snap. She adjusted her eyes to the new brightness.
His room was empty. His clothes lie on the couch. His bag was on the chair, half opened.
She went to the washroom to find it empty.
She realised he had not come to the caravan after he left the shoot spot.
She left his area and went to hers.
She was done crying and being distressed every time he gets close to her and leaves her needing him more. She sat down in her room with a resolve to end it.
RG- Why Gaurav? Why can't we go back to what we were? I can't do this anymore.
She remembered all the times when he got too close to her. Her mind was now subconsciously seeking for solutions because she did not have strength in her to be okay after another time he got close to her. This was her survival instinct.
All the kisses, all his touches played out in front of her eyes. The little consciousness she had whenever he got close to her, was deep enough for her to remember those moments in detail. How he smelled, how his lips twitched on looking at her face, how his forehead sweat, how his lashes looked, every detail she remembered. Her breath was deep.
She focused more on her memories to get over this feeling of frustration. The more she focused, the more she felt him near her and those moments felt like they were happening to her again. And she gradually realised in all these moments there was one thing constant. She stood up in a jolt.
RG- question. He always came close to me with questions. His eyes and lips always asked me what he meant to me. He would always not give up on me until he hears me tell him how desperate I feel for him.
RG walked quickly to her mirror holding her head. She felt like she was having a terrible hangover.
RG- how did I not sense it before. He has been trying to get the answer from him when I was too egoistic to hear it from him first. If I had told him straight away, he would have surely opened up to me. Gosh! He has been sailing in the same boat as me. I couldn't tell him my feelings because I was not sure if he would reciprocate the same. He too had the same issue.
I should talk to him.
She quickly ran out of her room, down the caravan and went looking for him.
RG- Bheem, did you see Gaurav?
Bheem- he left on his bike.
RG- he packed up?
Bheem- no. we have another scene to do. He must be in our sets.
RG was already on her foot towards her car.
Romi saw her running bare foot and getting into her car. Moments back he had heard from the crew that GK too left the spot in a hurry without talking to anyone after they shot that scene. The fervour in the scene they had shot, started making more sense to him. He was slowly connecting their behaviours to what he saw from behind the camera.
Romi 'are they into something? Oh damn! I should speak to them'. He told himself and asked the team to pack up.
GK entered his room at the sets.
He removed his shirt and went straight to the gym corner in his room. He switched on his music system and sat on the chest press machine.
'Ishq Bulaava...' played out and he started working out hurriedly.
His phone rang and the song stopped. When he tapped his smart watch, Chavvi's voice boomed out of the speakers.
Chavvi- dude! Wassup? Are you out of Devdas mode?
GK- shut up Chavvi. Tell me why you called.
Chavvi- uff. It hurts.
GK- bye.
Chavvi- hey wait. What happened?
GK- nothing. I am in between a shot.
Chavvi- liar. From when did you start picking up my calls in between shots?
GK- Fine. it was a mistake. Now hang up.
Chavvi- what happened baba? You can tell me.
GK- when are you coming back?
Chavvi- dont tell me you are missing me.
GK- i feel so lonely Chavvi.
Chavvi- awwlee I will be back next week. My parents want to keep me here for a bit longer. But you can talk to me anytime, Gaurav. You sound stressed. What is it? Rupali?
GK's voice broke.
GK- I saw her after a month, Chavvi.
Chavvi- then? Did you talk to her?
GK- no. it hurts. Very bad.
Chavvi- please talk to her Gaurav. Why do you do this to yourself? Tell her what you feel.
GK- how can I, Chavvi? After knowing how much she cares, how can I tell her anything? She is engaged and she would never think about taking me seriously even if she feels the same.
Chavvi- what? Why wouldn't she? Trust me on this Gaurav. I saw her vulnerable side. Her feelings are genuine and as intense as yours.
GK- You are fooling yourself and me, Chavvi. I shouldn't have taken your words seriously. She has always been confused about me. Maybe she knows this and just wants it to be a fling or something.
Chavvi- rubbish! She is on the verge of crying most of the time, Gaurav. Only a fool will not see it. Have you seen her around you? Have you seen her struggle to get hold of herself whenever someone mentions you or your bonding with her? It is too obvious to ignore that she has feelings for you.
GK- I want to believe what you say Chavvi. Because it makes me feel the happiest. But reality is not that. She thinks I am in no way fit for her. Otherwise with all that has been happening between us for a few months now [GK's voice went low realising it must be shocking for Chavvi that he and RG have been into this longer than she knows] ... with all thats happening between us for months now, she would not have gone ahead with her engagement with Rajat.
She wanted to stop herself from getting involved with me, that's why she got engaged to Rajat. She feels Rajat is perfect for her. I can never give her the validation or match up to the behavioural standards that she has in mind. That's only Rajat for her.
Chavvi- she can be confused. But you need to talk and sort this out. You cant be hurting yourself daily Gaurav. Its a lot better if you talk to her once & get your heart broken once for all.
GK- what to talk to her about? She always speaks like what we have between us means the world to her and the moment she gets back to her home I see her flaunting Rajat like a trophy. Recently she is behaving like I had wronged her and made use of her popularity. She is friends with every social media bully, that is hateful to me.
Chavvi- you see haters. She sees loyalists. Her loyalists.
GK- how can she be fine with people who love her and hate others?
Chavvi- ask her. Not me.
GK- you stop advocating for her when you have no answers.
Chavvi- I am not advocating Gaurav. I am only asking you to talk to her. Facing her everyday at work without a proper idea of where you both stand in your relationship must be taxing. Do it for yourself. And do it with an open mind. Have you ever spoken to her?
GK realised he has never tried talking to find out what was going on in RG's mind. He had only wanted answers to his questions and he had his own tricks to make her respond to him. He felt bad and ashamed.
Chavvi- you always says you miss her friendship. Talk Gaurav. Thats where you find your friend in her. Talk, ask, tell her what you feel. Before anything, tell her you are single now.
GK- she must know, we kissed.
Chavvi- what makes you think she wants to go ahead with Rajat? Didnt she kiss you? Then why would you think she is okay with Rajat?
GK was again speechless.
Chavvi- not everything goes without words Gaurav. I have tried a lot and I will not be doing this again. Tell her everything. Speak your mind.
GK was silent. Everything Chavvi spoke made sense to him. In his ego and assumptions, he had failed to communicate.
GK- Chavvi. I will. I will talk to her soon.
Chavvi- hein? So soon you agreed? Or you want me to shut up? Tell me directly.
GK- jungly, I can't tell you how blessed I am. I got a girl who can be a partner in the sluttiest thing that can be done and who can also be the wisest friend one can have. Thanks ya.
Chavvi- stop making me emotional. I really want to see you both working this out, Gaurav. There is some vibe around you both, making all of us believe in eternal togetherness. There is a sync in your bodies and souls that a few of us spot. This is rare. Don't let this go.
GK gave a sad laugh.
GK- I don't understand what you said now. But I will definitely talk to her to find out where we stand.
Chavvi- good! Okay I will go back to my family. You be good and call me when you feel down.
GK- thanks jungly. Love ya!
Chavvi- bye now. Love love.
The speaker went on with...
Ishq duaavan jaane kab aave
Ishq duaavan aave jab aave
He flexed his muscles as he started working out. With the tune, his mind went to all the moments he and RG shared - their hand holds, the ego games they played in confined spaces, their tears, his tricks to corner her and get answers, the social media pitting that was happening to them, her words about Rajat; with the pace of his mind, the pace of his hands too went up. He pulled in the weights hurriedly.
Rupali barged into the room and latched it.
For some reason the sound system went off. He turned to see her standing inside the room. She hadn't changed. Her offwhite partially wet netted saree was still clinging to her.
She stared at him with narrowed eyes.
Every ounce of gentleness that came into him after listening to Chavvi was now challenged by the way she looked at him. He wanted to be the nastiest to her.
When Rupali turned after locking the door, she was taken aback to see him on his vest on his gyming machine with his biceps bulging and chest muscles well defined in the dim light.
Her throat went dry. She tried with all her might to focus on the purpose of her visit. She wanted to strictly stick to conversions but her mind was already getting hazy. The scent of his sweat was intoxicating her. She tried to divert her mind to how she felt every time he walked out on her. She made an angry face to lure her thoughts out and stand confident.
GK royally ignored her and continued pulling the weights.
RG cleared her throat.
GK- please go.
Rupali- I want to talk to you.
GK- there is nothing left to talk. Go like and write tweets, I will read when I get time.
RG- Gaurav, lets be serious.
GK- Oh I am serious. Get out.
RG- mind your behaviour, Gaurav. Am not here to take nonsense from you. Please. Lets have a conversation.
GK- and you think I will take your nonsense? You can walk in anytime and demand that we talk after all the hate mongering you do? How entitled you are, Rupali Ganguly Mam.
RG clenched her fist. The whole world lauds her for her mere presence and this man is throwing an attitude at her, when she has come down to talk to him.
RG- Gaurav, one last time I am telling you. Let us talk this out, like adults. I did not do what you are accusing me of. If it is bothering you, why can't you speak up? Why don't you tweet what you have to say? Why are you shying away?
She wanted him to open up on why he won't speak his mind by hook or crook. Either by a conversation or by provoking him into a conversation.
Her disdain and scorn irked him.
GK was done with her in no time. He kept pulling the weights very slowly now and his sculpted biceps and muscles transformed their forms with so much grace that RG lost again. She did not remember anything else anymore. She wetted her lips and tried to calm her racing heart down.
GK turned to her with annoyance.
GK- out! I don't want you here talking nonsense. So please. Out.
RG had had enough. She did not have the mindset to indulge in any argument with him merely to start a conversation. So she decided to force one. She went straight to him and sat on his lap. He was shocked to see her on his lap. It was times like these when she exercises her rights on him, he loses it and becomes vulnerable. He hated that feeling but loved to live through this version of her.
RG- shh!
She took her pallu and started wiping his forehead.
RG- you have to talk to me.
Having her close to him, her damp clothes and hot skin served as sexual stimuli to him. He was growing hard and he was not any ready for it.
He gently pushed her away on his thighs. RG understood why and blushed biting her lips.
GK- listen. I am not in any mood to talk now.
RG- Oh now you understand how this feels? you can't get away with this behaviour Gaurav. What were you doing to me on the scene? Why should I be okay with your forced proximity when you will not tolerate it from me?
GK- so you are here to take revenge? Its always an 'outdo game' for you right? I dance with someone, you go and get engaged with someone else. I steal you away to touch you and you barge into my room secretly to kiss me. I am a game to you. But not anymore. Leave Rupali.
RG held the rim of his vest.
He ignored and picked up the dumbbells on the ground on each of his hands.
The taut muscles started distracting her again. He kept looking at her with burning red shot eyes.
She looked at him like a scared puppy and slowly moved her hands to touch his arms. He nodded a no. And she noticed he was very tender with her. She knew he had started to warm up to her. His intense looks made him irresistible to her. She leaned closer and whispered.
RG- you will kill me one day.
She said with slightly parted lips and kept staring at him.
GK dropped the dumbbells down and pushed her away to stand up. Another moment of her and her look would have made him kiss the soul out of her.
GK- if you don't leave now, I might push you out Rupali.
RG felt humiliated. She was all mushy over him and he just pushed her away as if she was forcing herself on him against his wish. While she knew in her bones that he too felt nice with her proximity, this behaviour was insulting to her because she felt he did it to belittle her, she felt it was his way of saying 'I am beyond your reach. Girls go gaga over me and you are nothing special'
RG fumed. She went and stood in front of him and seethed.
RG- You think your arrogance looks good on you? No. You look like a loser. What did you just say? I play games with you? It's you Mr Gaurav Khanna. It's you who gets friendly with women, makes them fall for your charm, bask on the attention they give you and when they think they mean something to you. You take off. Because how can The Gaurav Khanna, the national heartthrob, is beyond anybody's reach. To immerse yourself in this casanova cool dude image, you play with the feelings of women. Dont you?
He was disgusted. Every word of her reminded him of some tweet, some social media comment, he had read over the past month. He was hurt and his wounds were scratched when it came from RG. He had always feared during that month that she might start believing in these words but when it came from her, his heart was broken.
RG- you are using people's feelings.
She sneered and turned back.
All GK wanted was to hear from her what she felt for him, before he confessed his feelings. His reason was his fear of rejection. He was fine to be misunderstood but not fine with being accused of using her for his own glory and satisfaction.
He was vexed to know that every brash comment he read about himself from her fans, was actually an idea the woman he adores believes in.
He did not want to see her anymore.
GK- Enough Rupali. Get out.
His persistent arrogance irked her. The fact that he is standing unaffected even with her rude words, triggered her. She wanted him to react to her. She wanted to have that impact on him, which he manages to have on her. She was ready to spit anything on him to provoke him, to make him lose his senses. All she wanted was a breakdown. Her mind kept looking for the most horrible words to tell him and she remembered everything Rajat says about him. She recited those very words. And the damage was done.
RG- why wouldn't you throw me out? You don't need me anymore to be seen or to be talked about. Your job with me is don
GK did not want to hear her finish that sentence. He was raging to know that she thinks he was using her for his popularity. This has been thrown on his face for a month by random social media accounts. He never doubted his self worth. He knew everything he had came from his skill and work. What was bothering him about these comments were - RG's superiority. It made him feel like he is not upto her mark even with every bit of the massive fame he had earned for himself. And it was scary for him to realise that though he is okay to be overshadowed by this woman, it will not stop there. All his accomplishments will also be accredited to his relationship with her. And this very woman flaunting that, provoked him. He wanted to inflict some kind of pain in her. He wanted to see her cry for him.
He held her tightly by her elbow and pulled her close to him. She crash landed on his chest and held his shoulders.
GK- So you think I use you?
RG's eyes met with his. The red shot eyes pierced her soul. She had never seen this new emotion in his eyes ever. She realised immediately that she had hurt him. She had been successful in getting him to react but she felt no happiness. She had a sinking feeling.
RG mumbled 'I did not mean..'
GK- that is exactly what you meant. Don't you lie to me!
He pulled her close and went dangerously near her lips.
GK- you think I roamed around the city with you, laughing and joking around for the clout?
RG struggled to tame him. She pressed his elbow softly.
RG- no. please don't think that way
GK- what else should I understand from what you said now? Come on Rupali, be a brave girl. Tell me, You think I hold you close to me, to lead you on?
RG- Gaurav.
GK- shh!
He turned her around and hugged her from behind. His hands snaked around her waist and he took his place at the crook of her neck. His favourite spot to be in.
RG- let me explain.
He bit her gently. RG winced.
GK- Scream. Reveal to the world what I do to you.
RG- Stop this torture.
His index finger reached her belly button. He pressed on it until her legs gave up and she completely leaned back on his strong vest clad frame.
GK- How are you okay with me doing this? How dare you let me do this and then cry like a victim?
RG was unable to stand straight. He was making her too weak to explain herself.
She tried to wrestle away and mouthed a feeble,
RG- You are hurting me Gaurav.
GK turned her around and pulled her close. Her lips hit somewhere near his lips.
She became breathless by this sudden proximity. She closed her eyes tightly and waited for him to calm down.
He hissed.
GK- you think I do this to climb up some social ladder? You fool!
RG couldn't stand him anymore. He was neither kissing her nor leaving her to put a gap between them. She pulled back and pushed him away.
RG- Gaurav why do you do this? Let us talk through this.
She said panting and wheezing.
GK again pulled her to his embrace.
GK- when you talk, you lie Rupali. Like you lie about Rajat. It's when you are in my arms, you tell the truth. Now tell me, Am I using you?
When his sweaty body came in contact with her skin, she felt herself in a blaze. Subconsciously she was getting wet.
His palm on her belly squeezed the flesh under it. He took her earlobe in between his teeth.
RG- What are you doing?
GK- you let a nasty man who uses you, do this to you? Tell me Rupaliji? I don't understand this math. Why don't you shout? Why don't you expose me?
RG stood there staring at him. Her mind stopped working.
She kept murmuring no. no. no.
GK- what an animal I am? I force myself on you.
The hate in his voice was moving her. Every word he spoke about himself pieced her heart.
RG started weeping. She was again consumed by the urge to take him in an embrace and wipe all his pain. Her rage disappeared and she was no more finding any reason to be angry with him.
GK kissed every inch of her left shoulder. She fisted his hair and gave him more access.
GK- You don't like it a bit. Do you? You don't like me touching you.
He took the rim of her blouse in between his teeth. His nose stayed squished on her chest.
GK- do it. Rupali. Finish me today. I can't take this game forever. Let me die in this game. Tell it. I am using you. Tell it.
RG pushed him away.
RG- you win Gaurav.
You win.
He took a few steps away and waited for her.
RG- I will tell you exactly what you want to hear. I don't have any fear anymore. I lost everything long back. And all I want now is you. Happy?
Every cell of my body begs to be with you. When you come close to me I lose myself. Happy? The Rupali Ganguly who has the world tied to her little finger, who doesn't bat an eyelid to any men out there, is hopelessly wanting you to see her, hold her, appreciate her, talk to her, look at her. Does that give you peace? But this is my truth. I go insane when you cut me off. I am not myself anymore Gaurav. I forgot what being myself means, when I am not with you. I don't know what they call my state.
She weeped out loud.
RG- I don't know if this is love. But this is what I feel. I know you might not like to be stuck with me, I know I can never be the one you wish to spend your life with. I am neither carefree nor any fun. Look at me, I am not even the sorted Queen anymore. But yeah. I don't have any shame confessing - Yes, you drive me crazy. Yes, I want to be with you. Yes, You hurt me and you are the only one who makes me feel myself. You hurt me so much when you treat me like crap, Gaurav. When you behave like I don't exist, when I hear from the whole world about my wins but not hear a word from you, I feel like a failure. Why? Why are you hurting me? Why do you come so close to me and leave me hanging?
She cried more and Garauv was stunned to hear all this at once.
GK- I hurt you? I leave you hanging? When I try to come to you, I am brutally reminded of how I am totally unworthy of you. I am shown my place, Rupali.
His voice broke down.
GK- Every single time. Rupali. You say exactly what your fans say about me. I hurt you. I am a monster. Yes! I don't see your feelings because I am confused. One day you cry to me. Ask me to undo your fiance's touches and the next day you give Interviews that Rajat is a dream partner. What now? Go back to them and live your life. Stop playing with me.
RG was expecting him to be moved by her confession but this accusation came out like a shock to her.
RG- did you even hear what I said?
She laughed in between the tears.
RG- how will you? You only care about what you feel. I told you, you are the core of my existence. Everything about you affects me and you call it a game.
You know what a game is? The thing you play with me. Every moment you come close to me is the war you wage at me. To break me. To make me feel weak. Make me feel worthless and then go chill around with other girls. Oh! Heart throb never feels a thing for anyone, who the heck is Rupali to him. He can find joy and companionship in any girl out there. Don't blame me for taking my fiance's name when you go straight to another girl's arms from me. I keep weeping over you when you are running around sticking to any girl you spot.
This was exactly what was written about him by her tribe. Once he only laughed about it, but hearing these words from her irked him.
He pulled her close.
GK- I heard you. Every word you said is here...
He took her left hand placed it on his chest.
RG was staring at him with anger.
GK- in all consciousness I heard you talk about what you feel for me. How hopeless and desperate you are for me. But you know what negates it for me? It's your misconceptions, your flip flops, your confusions and your blatant refusal to give me a benefit of doubt.
RG- there is no confusion. You occupy my headspace fully and I will never cross your mind when you are with anyone else. You don't deserve me, Gaurav. You can replace me with anyone, in a matter of time. I have spoken my feelings. There is nothing left for me to say anymore. I will go. You were right, I am a fool.
GK smirked.
GK- fool.
He pulled her pallu out and fisted them.
RG's hand shot up to hide herself. She was too stunned to react.
RG- what are you doing?
GK held her face and kissed her forehead.
GK- you think I take this liberty with any girl out there?
RG- you are crossing your limits now.
She pulled her saree from his grip.
GK held her hand and removed the other which was hiding her chest.
RG unable to meet his eyes bent down. She was shivering under his gaze. They were in the middle of a very heated argument and when he did that, she wanted to hide in his arms of all the places in the world.
RG- Gaurav, I will leave.
She said as tears ran down her eyes. She wanted him to hold her instead. But she also forced herself to think he will only do that to play with her feelings.
RG- I cant take your games anymore. You heard all that you had to hear. I am weak for you. You dont have to prove anything more. Just let me go.
He kissed her cheeks before she finished. She let out a gasp.
GK- you really think I can be intoxicated by anyone the way I am with you?
RG dint want to fall for his words.
RG- you dont have to do this.
GK held her by her arms and made her look into his eyes.
GK- no look at me. Look into my eyes Rupali. Or you might lose me forever.
RG looked up annoyed
GK breathed heavily.
His eyes were teary and they ripped her heart apart.
His eyes slowly dropped from her eyes to her lips, neck and further below. She shivered more under his gaze and struggled to release her hand from his grip to cover herself.
His eyes devoured her curves, not in a lustful way but with all devotion. For a moment she could feel him zoned out of the entire world and it only made him look more irresistible for her
RG- Gaurav...
GK- and you think I can be smitten by anyone's body. You are wrong Rupali.
He dropped on his knees and her heart skipped a beat.
His hot breath hit her bellybutton. He looked up to her, her feminine form in all this splendour was staring down at him and he felt a relief in submitting himself to her.
RG looked down. Her heaving form was making him weaker.
He held her by her waist and hugged her. His stubble pressed against her tender skin in her stomach, gave her sensations that had never happened to her.
RG- Ah. Gaurav.
For a few minutes she did not know what to do and he remained there. Holding her close. Her hands held his head. And she heard him sob.
She tried to pull away but held her tight and adjusted himself on her. She could feel his warm tears on her bare stomach. She immediately held him close against her and comforted him.
She never needed to hear another word but he had so much to say.
GK- No one in this world has the power to be bring me on my knees Rupali. Except you. All I want is to spend the rest of life this way, with you. Please. I am scared. I feel this unsettling fear ever since I started having feelings for you. What if you reject me? I will lose you. A friend, a companion who can make my metro rides meaningful. Who can laugh at my jokes, who can make me feel like a king. In whose eyes I see hope and future. What if I lose you? I dont feel this with anyone Rupali. But you.
RG- Gaurav get up.
GK kissed her tummy.
GK- I chose you, Rupali. When it came to my peace and you. I chose you.
RG did not understand what he meant. She realised he was emotional and gave him time.
GK- I want to be deserving of you. The day you gave someone the right to touch you, it killed me from within. The day you asked me to touch you I decided I will not see another woman the way I see you.
RG was listening and she was not understanding what he was telling about.
GK- I decided its you or no one.
RG- Garuav, Chavvi.
GK- we broke up. I was not into her Rupali. You were in my heart, my soul, my thoughts and words even before I realised it. She is been my friend and always will be my special friend. But its to you I want to submit myself.
RG gasped. Her joy knew no bounds. She pulled him close to her and cried looking up. He was broken and she was to happy to know that he was hers to fix.
GK- look at the irony. The day you bound yourself to someone was the day I decide to free myself for you. I broke up with you in my mind, Miss gonna be Rupali Rajat Sharma.
He said this and cried hugging her. She cried too.
RG- Gaurav. Why? Why did you not tell me?
GK- what will I tell you? When you go around telling the world every day that he is perfect for you? I am no one Rupali. Yes, I am no match. I don't know how to flaunt you. All I know is.
He looked up at her.
She looked down at his face. She wanted to kneel to his level but he held her by her waist.
GK- All I know is, you are the only woman to whom I will lose with all my heart. I come near you and leave you because I don't have the courage to look at the regret in your face that might surface when you feel you did a mistake with me.
I leave you every time all high and dry, with a hope that one day you will realise I might matter more to you.
And you say I can replace you Rupali. Kaash. Kaash I could call anyone else a perfect for me. But I know its only you.
He left her waist. Stood up and wrapped her with her pallu. She was happy hearing him confess his feelings. She felt relieved and she knew there is nothing stopping them anymore.
She wanted him to see her in her eyes but he was not. She gave him the time.
He stepped back. She corrected her saree.
GK- sorry. I will not trouble you anymore. I heard you out. You too heard me. We should have done this long back. I understand your confusion. You decide. I will learn to face rejection with grace. So decide on your own without any pressure. I will not come after you. Now and even after your no. you have my word here Rupali. I think we just needed to vent this out, now there won't be any tension.
RG was too elated to know he had the fear of losing her, he is single now, he realised his feelings much before and took it very seriously. All these made her stand grinning. She did not notice him moving away.
GK turned back and walked towards the washroom.
He stopped and turned back.
GK- and you need not jump into any decisions just because I broke up for you. It was because I cannot be in a relationship without love. It might work differently for you and Rajat. I will not like to be your regret at any point of time.
He choked while saying this.
GK- please decide for yourself.
He went inside the washroom and closed the door.
RG- what decide? Haven't we decided already?
He was gone. She looked confused.
RG- does he really think I am still confused? Shit.
She ran to the washroom and knocked on the door. It was not latched so it opened to him standing under the shower with his vest on. He had his back towards the door.
She went in and latched the door. He turned and looked at her. He stood expressionless.
RG- I am not confused. I know it is you.
GK couldn't take that answer yet. He couldn't see her choosing him yet.
GK- right. And you were waiting for what to decide this? You are confused between this passion I offer and the stability Rajat offers Rupali. And its okay. Take your time. Go now.
He gently pushed her out.
RG - this is not any choice Gaurav. I will not lie to you. I tell myself Rajat is better for me, everytime I feel hurt by you.
GK nodded.
RG was expecting him to react but his calm made her comfortable.
RG- there is a difference between forcing yourself to believe in something and feeling something. I was forcing myself to believe in Rajat and me. I was not feeling it Gaurav, trust me.
GK did not want her to decide anything at the heat of the moment.
He smiled and again gently pushed her out.
RG- you don't trust me?
GK- it is not that Rupali. Let us take time.
RG hugged him.
RG- again you are pushing me away. Last one month was hell, I can't do this anymore, Gaurav. I beg you.
GK- shh. Stop. I am not pushing you away. I am requesting you to take time for yourself. Believe in your choices. Ask yourself if you really need me.
RG pushed him away with fierceness.
RG- I really need you? You will never understand me. Will you? You cant understand my words. What should I do to tell you what you mean to me?
She took away her pallu and threw it on the floor.
GK jumped back and looked horrified at what got into her.
GK- Calm down Rupali. What are you doing?
RG knelt down in front of him. He approached her and she stopped him by gesturing.
RG- a woman can't be any more conscious than when she is in her half dressed state. I am here, in front of you in my most vulnerable state. You have seen me this way a couple of times. I have no shame but I am proud that you are the only man who has seen me like this and you will be the only man. Because I choose you.
If this doesn't convince you, I lose Gaurav. I lose as a woman.
GK leapt forward and pulled her into a hug.
GK- damn it! Damn the world. The woman. My woman chose me.
He said looking at her with teary eyes. She nodded and cried on his chest.
RG- I always did Gaurav. I was not waiting for your yes. Please dont think of it that way. Like you, I was scared. I thought you might not choose me and..
GK- and..
RG- I got engaged to get your attention. To make you feel the dread of losing me. It was a one up game. I know it is unfair on Rajat. I am sorry. I was dying for your attention and was torn between getting you think of me and pushing myself to move on. I am scared Gaurav.
GK- shh. I am here.
She kept crying.
RG- where have I landed myself in. I feel terrible every second I am next to Rajat. I feel terrible when it is not your name, mine is linked to.
GK- hmm.
RG- You will not leave me?
GK- not after the moment you said you chose me.
RG- But I messed up.
GK- so did I.
RG- But I..
He kissed her. And she cried while kissing him back with the same vigour. She picked her up and swirled. They laughed. Cried and kissed, while swirling. One of their arms hit the shower handle and it went on.
They were getting drenched, unmindful of which they kept kissing. She explored his mouth with glee. And he found her irresistibly cute.
His legs got tangled in her discarded pallu and they were about to slip but he managed to land her safe on the slippery floor.
They laughed again and broke the kiss.
She looked up at him biting her lips. He raised his bro and released her lips with his thumb.
She slowly took his vest out of him and he let her do that. Throwing his vest away, she saw his masculine torso at its zenith.
Her heart was racing and under the shower with water splashing on her, she felt her skin burning. Her eyes captured every inch of this flawless skin, the chiselled body and the contours. She felt her throat grow dry. The water droplets gliding down his chest, to the packs on his stomach made her jealous.
Knowing her, he pulled her to him and gently nodded. She again bit her lips and moved closer to him. She kissed his chest and started sucking his skin, sucking the water sliding on him. He held the back of her neck and pressed her on him. His other hand held her waist and kept pulling her closer. Her hands were trying to fist on his muscular back.
When her lips graced his nipples, he let out a gasp and moaned her name loud.
The sweet torture she was giving him, was showing him stars in daylight.
Seeing his excitement she got bold and took his left nipple in between her teeth.
GK bent his neck upwards gasping. He held the back of her head and fisted her hair gently.
GK- Rupali..
She suckled and bit him.
He pulled her hair backwards and attacked her mouth. Kissed her and bit her lips until he tasted her rustic blood.
Panting for breath they left each other's lips. Unable to stand RG leaned on him, he held her petit form in both of his hands and started kissing her neck, trailing down her shoulder, he stopped when he reached her blouse. She held his hand and took them to the front hooks of her blouse. He held them tight and kissed her all over her face. She stopped him and looked into his eyes giving him a nod to go ahead with the hooks. His fingers struggled to open the hook, her heaving chest was teasing him. When he managed to open the first one, she let out a sensual sigh.
As her bulges peeped out more, he was getting hungry for more. He immediately pulled his hand away and replaced his fingers with his teeth. RG let out a cry when his razor sharp teeth graced her bust. He removed the other three hooks with his mouth and nuzzled in between her chest. She held his head close to her. While his hands pulled the blouse down her shoulder and threw them away. His hands reached down to her waist trailed to the spot where the saree was tucked. In one go he pulled them out and scooped the saree away from her. The saree met the blouse and his vest somewhere on the floor.
He moved away to see her, for the first time. She stood there in her cream coloured bralette and satin skirt. She was neither nervous nor shy. She was in the moment, serving him herself while consuming him to the fullest of her desires.
GK- wow! What a woman.
He went close to her and she was quicker than him she turned her back to him unable to meet the tension.
He hugged her from behind. And they noticed themselves on the full length mirror on the door.
Her feminine senses took over and she blushed seeing her half dressed form and his bare body itching to come in contact with each other.
He noticed her shying. He placed his left hand on her stomach and pulled her closer to him. His right hand snaked through her upper body and gently enveloped in a hug. He rested his nose at the crook of her neck, inhaling her scenet. His right hand was cupping her chest. She bent backwards thus giving him more access.
RG- Garuav..
GK- hmm..
He kissed her neck, cheeks and kept cupping her tummy and breats.
She was jerking alreay and wanted more.
RG- Gaurav.. Ahh.. I can't.
GK sided her hair from her back and removed the clasp of her bralette from behind. Her hand rushed to catch the falling piece of fabric in place. Noticing her discomfort he stopped and waited. RG had her eyes tightly closed. They stood there like that for a whole minute. She was shivering.
GK held her arms from behind and kissed her shoulder. Rupali knew in her heart that there is no point in stopping herself anymore.
GK- Rup..
She turned around and hugged him tight.
The fabric fell on the ground.
Their bare upper bodies crashed into each other. They kept tightening their hug, rubbing their bodies together, exploring new pleasures every moment.
RG nibbled around his neck and sucked his adam's apple.
His hand was massaging her lower back and his lips were leaving thier marks on the most tender spots around her shoulder blade.
The steel buckle of his belt graced her tummy. It teared her skin and she bit his earlobe to contain the pain. His hand rose from her lower waist all over her back, pressing and squeezing them. RG lost all her senses and was demanding for more from him.
RG- Gaurav..
He stopped and listened to her.
Her hands took his right hand. He let her take the lead. She placed right hand on her breast and pressed it against her. She rolled her eyes back in pleasure and the sight released the devil in him.
He pinched her breast with one hand and pulled her head backwards by her hair. When she was gasping open mouthed for air, he kissed her and sucked the lip till they got dry.
When he was at it, she opened his belt buckle in a jiffy and the belt was also discarded.
Both of them felt dizzy and kept touching and pressing each other's skin. He broke the kiss for air attacked her breast when she held his head close.
RG-ahh Gaurav, its hurting.
GK groaned and kissed the very spot he had pulled with his teeth.
RG got ectasic.
RG- Gaurav, don't stop.
She kept massaging his neck and back. Encouraging him to kiss and touch every part of her body.
When he felt he can not have her standing anymore, he carried her and placed her on the dresser behind. She couldnt take one second of separation from his body and pulled him close to her.
GK- you look so hot, babe.
RG blushed as he kept running his lips on her chest and his hand slowly crumpled her inskirt up over her thighs.
She understood and pushed him a little away. With the toe she touched her man's buckle and her heel was gracing his manhood.
This was new to them. The desire and pleasure consumed them so much that either of them knew what they were doing and planned what to do next.
Kisses were getting wilder. They kept touching the other's body without any restraints. They got sinful with the touches and bites.
GK pulled her towards him and she wrapped her legs around his hip. She also took him in a hug. She pulled his face to her chest and tempted him to suckle her. He did exactly the same.
Kisses turned into smooches and in no time the bathroom was filled with sounds of moans and sucklings. Both of them were aching for more. Breathlessly she kept pulling him to the places where she needed them the most- to her neck, her lips, when it got too much for her to take, she tried to push him away and that made him pull her closer. She was too greedy to feel his hands everywhere on her. He, without complaints, gave attention to her curves.
They lost track of time and state. They kept exploring pleasure.
A distant ringing sound kept getting louder and neither noticed.
RG unable to get more of him, launched herself on him and he scooped her in his arms. Her most sensitive spot came in contact with bare skin and both of them winced.
GK- Rupali..
RG- ahh..
The ringing sound kept getting louder and louder. RG was zoned out. She kept kissing him and pulling him to her.
He kept suckling her.
The noise got him first. He paused. She got annoyed. He couldnt continue anymore.
He came back to his senses when he realised it was her phone. He looked at them. They had crossed almost all the lines that day. They were naked, drenched and waiting to be loved.
He gently placed her back on the dresser.
She kept pulling and clinging on to him. He did not stop her but he did not make any move. He waited for her to come back to her senses.
RG- Gaurav...
GK-hmm babe. Listen.
RG- no.
She kept pulling him.
GK- babe. Rupali.
RG- what now?
He held her face and made her look at him.
RG- please Gaurav.
She got scared. She thought again he was leaving her high and dry. Tears started appearing.
RG- you are doing it again?
GK- shh no. not at all.
He kissed her and took her in his arms.
GK- no. I cant stay away from you anymore.
RG- snuggled close to him and again wrapped her legs around his hip.
GK- but we have to wait.
RG moved away confused and suspicious. She was wondering what was stopping him now. Her mind was alerting her about the times she was left alone.
GK- we have to talk a lot before this.
RG nodded and still kept eyeing him.
GK- let me explain baby.
He pulled her into embrace because he understood RG was getting hurt again. He had always done this to her in the past intentionally or unintentionally. Gone too close to her only to leave her when she got weak. He understood what she must be feeling. So he took her in an embrace and continued talking.
GK- we have to talk more about what we expect out of each other. I still have trouble communicating. You might want me to be open about us, but I want to cherish what we have between us more before making it a talk of the town. I want us to live life without attention and you may want to flaunt our relationship. Both of us are not wrong. Only our expectations are different. Let us first discuss this. Also I am still the guy who can be arrogant with you when hurt. I want to grow calmer and mature. You still have a mess to sort out.
RG nodded and pulled away from him.
She could see his points. She was growing conscious about their half dressed states.
GK kept walking around the bath, picking up her clothes. He came to her with her saree. He placed the clothes next to her on the dresser but went ahead and wrapped her saree around her head. RG smiled with tears looking at him.
GK- I don't want anything bothering you or me when we unite. When we unite we should do that with no doubts, no regrets and with all our hearts. It is now your call. If you don't want to wait, am okay.
RG snapped before he could finish.
RG- Lets not wait.
And hugged him again.
He was surprised but he was getting ready to accept her decision.
GK- are you sure?
RG laughed but her eyes were teary.
RG- thank you Guarav. Thank you for everything. Thank you for planning the most pure union for us. I will wait.
GK smiled.
He kissed her again on her lips.
GK- you dress up. I will go see who has called.
When he stepped towards the door, RG jumped and hugged him from behind.
GK smiled and waited.
GK- baby, they must be looking for us.
RG- I dont care anymore.
GK- achha, Really? So bold?
RG- yes. I am in love. With love, comes courage.
GK let out a laugh.
GK- achha.
RG- ji haan. Gaurav, its my turn now.
GK was confused.
GK- turn to do what?
RG- to sort out. I will talk to my mother and Rajat today.
GK turned to her all surprised. He was not expecting her to take things in her hands so soon. He thought he will have to wait for her and even help her.
RG- I will break the engagement and tell them about us.
GK- you are sure? You can take your time.
RG- I can't wait, Gaurav. I can neither stay away anymore nor can I meet you secretly. I want us to happen soon.
GK nodded and smiled. He was too happy to know she was going to be his in everysense.
She leanded in to kiss him, holding her saree across her chest.
He kissed back and was still emotional. She wiped his tears and kissed his forehead.
They hugged.
GK- your clothes must be wet. I will go fetch mine for you. Wear them and go to your room.
RG nodded.
He went out picked up his loose T shirt and joggers, handed them over to RG inside the bathroom and went to the room to dry and dressup himself.
After 5 mins, RG came out. She looked quirky in his clothes which were too big for her. He laughed at her.
RG- get used to seeing me this way mister.
GK- nah! You get used to wearing nothing Mrs Khanna.
RG blushed and he had this urge to scoop her and do things to her again.
RG lifted her brow and he smiled.
GK- ok baba, wait. Let me go check outside.
He went to see if there was anybody out. The aisle was empty.
GK- Rupali, come out. Run to your room. Dont stop anywhere in the middle.
He opened the door for her and she stepped out. She cheekily brushed herself on him and said,
RG- I want to be seen wearing your clothes.
GK- behave! Run now.
She made a face and started walking.
GK whispered only for her to hear.
GK- I will make sure to discard your clothes and make you wear mine, quite often.
RG kept walking. But he could notice her giggle and blush.
Someone from the shadows hurriedly called up someone else.
Precap-
Man- I have sent you two pictures. One where she gets into his room in a saree around 11PM and the other where she comes out of his room in his clothes around 12:49PM.
Rajat- thank you. Be careful with the pics. No one should doubt you.
Man- I will take care. My payment?
Rajat- you will get in 15 mins.
Rajat cut the call and turned to the mirror in his room. The anger in face could have shattered the mirror.
Slowly his expression changed from anger to happiness.