Renjun had full permission to remain in the house, though his purpose was different than he initially expected. He understood that nothing changed Jeno's mind because Jaemin hadn't updated him that day, and when he saw the alpha in the dining room, waiting for breakfast, Renjun felt as if he were a ghost. Jeno ignored him.
The whole breakfast process made Renjun suffer. He sat on Jeno's right as he claimed this seat days ago, but the way the alpha pretended he didn't exist made the omega feel bad for trying to get close to him. The alpha ate Renjun's food but gave no comments, even when it was obvious that he liked it. He ate a lot but was too prideful to admit the omega as a great chef.
The only one who talked was Jaemin, but no matter how bright his voice sounded and how many times did he smile, nothing helped. Renjun wanted to glare at him. Jaemin was a liar. Apart from the warmth that spread from him and his never-ending help, Jaemin was a weird human being. Renjun couldn't understand if he was like this because of his secondary gender, or if it was his personality. Maybe all betas were the same, or was he just unique? There was always something so mysterious behind Jaemin's caring persona. It was hard to read him. Renjun couldn't even make out a word what was the meaning of this circus. It was like Jaemin was hiding something, and the omega didn't know if he could trust him. After noticing that the reality didn't match the illusion he created, Renjun was sure more things they hadn't discussed still awaited him.
So, glaring at the beta would've at least made Renjun feel better. But it's too bad he couldn't even do that. You see, he was certain that even when the alpha pretended he wasn't there, every move of his was followed. Jeno was careful around Renjun, and he must have a reason.
"Today, I'll go grocery shopping," Jaemin said after a few minutes of silence. "We need to buy food, and I think it must be the time Renjun gets new clothes."
The beta looked at the omega, and the latter took his chance to glare. He did it so fast that when Jeno slightly looked at him, Renjun had an innocent expression.
"What do you think, Junnie?" Jaemin asked with great enthusiasm, as if he just offered to set the omega free for a few hours.
That was true. Renjun could not leave the house because they avoided other people noticing and ruining the surprise. But now that the birthday gift failed and Jeno was aware of it, they could take the omega somewhere to public. The thought was tempting, but when Renjun remembered everything he was thinking, he highly doubted whether the decision was good.
"I can't go..." he mumbled.
"Why?" Jaemin raised his eyebrows. "You don't feel well?"
No, there was a way worse problem. An omega walking around meant that someone bought them, but then several factors exposed his status and Renjun was at the worst stage. He had no assurance collar, and he could only wish for a bonding mark. If he walked around with nothing on his neck, he may be judged, and he didn't want that.
"I don't have an assurance collar," he said quietly.
"Oh, that's not a problem! Many omegas don't have it at first."
"Bad things happen..."
"No one would do anything to you. I'll be your bodyguard," Jaemin said in a convincing tone, making it hard not to believe him.
Renjun managed to refuse. Instead, he stayed home, intending to gain the alpha's trust. But Jeno went elsewhere just when the breakfast ended, and Renjun lost the courage to chase after him. It was just too clear that he was the only one who wanted a relationship.
ꕥ
Renjun received many letters from his friends back in Aquamarine House. He couldn't reply to any of them. He was embarrassed about what was happening in his life and felt ashamed when he read the responses and realized the omegas had been waiting for the update about the birthday party. Renjun couldn't bring himself to write any letter as he didn't want to lie, especially after he wrote how much he looked forward to meeting the alpha and how handsome he was.
Was it rude not to respond? It may have looked like he was busy living his new life... Renjun didn't know, but he avoided it as the problems inside the house had to remain there. That was a rule every omega had to follow. They weren't the heads of their houses but were the guardians who had to keep everything neat and perfect, even if these were just an illusion.
But there were occasions when sometimes omegas could or had to share information further than their territory. Renjun heard about a few cases when bad alpha mates hurt their perfect omegas, especially those who had golden plates and were sold for high prices. They could call once to ask for a relationship psychologist, but if they were pregnant, the alphas were punished. Of course, Renjun's situation was way different. He wasn't experiencing any violence, but his alpha didn't want him and didn't even talk to him. If that was the reason, shouldn't he contact Aquamarine House to seek help?
But wouldn't that lower his value? What if Lady Brixil decided that returning him was the best choice? Would Renjun get a bad review just because he couldn't match the alpha's expectations? The omega knew how much bad reviews affected the chance to be bought again. If that ever happened, Renjun's value would drop not precisely because he lacked something, but mostly because another alpha had him before the other one. It wouldn't matter if Renjun were untouched and still very pure. Alphas loved to be the first one to own an omega.
He decided to stay quiet and didn't try to contact anyone. Instead, he spent late evenings alone in his bedroom, checking his notebooks and highlighting what he should do to gain Jeno's trust. He wanted the alpha to acknowledge him for his skills. After all, Renjun got 100 points for the cooking and cleaning exam. He was a specialist and could be way better than Jaemin. Alongside that, he was also good at ironing—he got 99 points on the ironing exam. Jeno would be a fool if he didn't acknowledge it.
As he reached the last page of one of his notebooks, Renjun sighed and went to the drawer to get more. That was when he found a little binder his caretaker gave him before he could leave Aquamarine House. A few days ago, the omega just briefly glanced at it. The binder seemed to have old and new articles from various magazines. Every topic was about alphas and omegas—quite valid, though Renjun didn't recognize any magazines, which meant they weren't really for omegas. But the beta woman knew what was suitable for omegas and what wasn't, so Renjun took it and tried to seek information.
The first article was about a cold alpha's behavior that he was getting at that exact moment. The boy read that alphas usually were cold to omegas because they didn't know how to behave with them. There was a reminder that many alphas need time to realize that they need a mate, and when they buy one, they feel lost about what they should do with them. The solution to that—and Renjun hated it—was to wait for the mating time, "relationship-building time" for a reason. The author of the article claimed that only after mating do alphas become more trusting of their omegas and open.
Renjun wasn't sure if that was really about it, but Jeno was as cold as, the author claimed, many alphas, so maybe there was truth in here? Well, the omega didn't tend to believe it, especially when he didn't know the author as it was a torn page of the magazine he must've never touched in his life. What if it wasn't suitable for him?
He continued reading the articles, however. The titles were promising each time, but the moment he read further, Renjun felt like he read something he shouldn't. For instance, there was an article explaining how to kiss. The omega had never kissed, and reading how to do it made him shy. Was it necessary to know? Didn't alphas like it more when omegas don't know how to do it?
After a few more triggering articles, Renjun stumbled upon a piece of paper. After mating. The omega didn't quite catch what it meant—was it the necessary information he needed to know what happened during the mating process and how to take care of oneself after the process, or was there something more? In curiosity, the omega flipped another page, and his face instantly flushed as he saw graphic instructions on how to...
"F-fellate an alpha?" the omega gasped, then closed the binder as quickly as he could.
He was twenty-one. The educational system of Aquamarine House narrowed his knowledge of what he learned when he was in high school. Every omega pretty much cleansed their minds and thought about other things. But as Renjun saw those graphic instructions, he suddenly remembered when he was sixteen, spending his time with his friends during one hot summer. His friend circle was big and included betas and alphas, not only omegas. So, once he somehow ended up in a room with an alpha, the guy he didn't even remember face or name, asked if he wanted to take his reproductive organ into his mouth. The worst was that Renjun would've done it, if other friends didn't storm into the room.
Remembering all of that, Renjun couldn't stop blushing, and he hated himself for that. First of all, he didn't know that action was called fellatio or oral sex! He only knew the slang that was strongly prohibited to use between the omegas. The same with the action itself. They had been told so many times before that their first time had to be very simple without any special needs. Only later on, when they know their alphas can they spice it up. Second, the memory was long forgotten in his head, but just as he saw the pictures, he remembered the alpha telling him something similar and felt violated that he was thinking of this when Jeno was there, at the end of the hallway.
"That was five years ago," Renjun said to himself. "You're way older!"
And as weird as it sounds, more innocent than when he was sixteen. It was like he was going backward.
ꕥ
"Oh, how pretty is our Junnie!" Jaemin gasped, clasping his hands together the moment the omega stepped into the kitchen, wearing new clothes. "It fits you so well, and I was worried the size would be a problem."
Renjun smiled, although he didn't like hearing compliments from the beta when he knew the alpha wouldn't even look at him longer than three seconds. And it didn't even matter if he looked pretty or not! Renjun felt like he could wear a potato sack, and Jeno wouldn't care. Or even worse—walk around naked!
He couldn't say these full-of-rage things to Jaemin's face, however. He was thankful for the thin high-collar shirt and trousers that fit him perfectly, so such remarks would've made him so rude. That was the hardest part, however. Renjun had a lot to say and ask since Jaemin never mentioned anything about the conversation in Jeno's bedroom. But because he was ashamed of the last time he snapped and called Jaemin a liar, he tried to remain discreet and avoided being nosy omega.
"Thank you," he said instead. "I like every piece."
"I'm so glad! I can't wait for Jeno to see you like this."
Renjun glanced at Jaemin. He wondered why the beta kept saying these things when both knew nothing about Jeno would change. He categorically followed his own views; ignored the omega and the fact that his friend worked hard enough to buy such a gift.
As expected, Jeno didn't say anything about Renjun's appearance. Maybe he didn't even notice as such clothing was usual in his environment, or maybe he saw everything but just ignored the changes as usual. But these things didn't hurt the omega. Actually, he was so shocked about what was going on during breakfast that there was no space for other things in his head.
You see, it was his first time seeing Jeno smiling and talking in the same tone he did when he had no idea his gift was in the kitchen. He appeared more relaxed, too, talking warmly with Jaemin and enjoying every tiny bit of his breakfast. The only time he lost his mood was when his home economist tried to draw the omega into the conversation, but as Jeno was used to ignoring the latter, he did it again and returned to being happy and positive.
Renjun noticed he was extra talkative. It was the opposite of the previous days. He was bursting with energy, so the omega guessed he finally recovered from all the trips. Jaemin mentioned before how big of a homebody the alpha was, so that was only natural that he got the energy from resting at home, instead of always being surrounded by people.
Unlike Jeno, the beta looked exhausted. Renjun had already noticed it when they made breakfast because Jaemin leaned on the walls a lot and almost broke an expensive plate when he tripped. But as they were all together, it was even more evident. He tried to keep up with Jeno's energy, but it seemed too much to handle. So that's why he wanted to draw the omega in the conversation. He hoped to divert the alpha's attention elsewhere or maybe stop him from talking so much. Jaemin looked paler than usual, and his speech wasn't very motivated. He must've not gotten enough sleep, considering how early he got up every day.
"Mr. Na, are you okay?" Renjun asked, catching up with the beta after breakfast and stopping him in the middle of the stairs. "I've noticed that you—"
"I'm fine," Jaemin smiled confidently, and it almost convinced the omega, if not for a slight color of annoyance in his voice. "I'm just a little tired."
"Take it easy today, Mr. Na. I can help you out with a few of your chores..."
"No, that's okay. I'll do everything, but I'll try to take more breaks."
"That sounds good..."
The conversation could still keep rolling, but it seemed that Jaemin wanted it to end as he turned around and continued going upstairs. Renjun looked at him in concern, then sighed. If the person who had known Jeno for a while was so tired and couldn't endure him, what would happen to Renjun, who had just recently met him?
That day, Jeno had a lecture to prepare for, so he was very apparent on the first floor and interrupted Renjun's usual cleaning routine. If the alpha left one room and rushed to another, his scent remained, creating a never-ending illusion that the master was everywhere. When he finally left, Renjun could finally relax and breathe properly, since he could finally finish his job with no disturbance. Yet he still inhaled the alpha's scent.
ꕥ
In the evening, when Renjun thought of reading a book he found in the library, suitable for his secondary gender, Jaemin suddenly stormed into his room and said, "Your papa called us. He wants to visit you."
Renjun would've scolded Jaemin as he didn't knock. However, the information he just heard almost made him drop the book. Did he hear it correctly?
"Is he still on the line?" he asked with hope.
"No, we just finished speaking, but I arranged the meeting tomorrow afternoon. He and your father will come."
Renjun got nervous. Tomorrow? He had to find something nice to wear to show them how greatly the alpha took care of him. But speaking of Jeno, wouldn't he ruin it?
Perhaps, his face said more than the silence. Jaemin chuckled.
"Don't worry. He'll find an excuse not to appear, and we'll cover it up with a white lie."
Renjun nodded. Jeno could do whatever he wanted, but he shouldn't see his parents. The omega wanted them to think he had a perfect mate and that he was worth their son.