My name is Mary Ann Grace, and I really don't want to be here right now. Anywhere but here!
I'd give anything to be somewhere else. Not physically in a different place, but in my mind, in a different mindset or different understanding of things. I desperately need refuge.
I've kept all of these thoughts inside me all of my life, never talking to anyone about them and never allowing all of the frustrations and anxieties to come out. I can't talk about it with the professionals— psychiatrists or psychologists — because I know my next ride would most definitely not be a fun, slow ride in the back seat of a Buick, back to my white-picket fence and ranch home in the suburbs . It'll more than likely be a high-speed ride while I'm being restrained in the rear compartment of an EMS van headed straight to the stone wall of a loony bend!
I've tried talking to friends, family and several of my ex-husbands throughout the years, who are now deceased, unfortunately. I shared just about everything with those dastardly bastard husbands of mine, but all it caused was friction between them and me because they all thought I was imagining all of this or that I had too much to drink.
One or two of my exes even accused me of having smoked marijuana laced with hallucinations, or they concluded, I'd dabbled in mushrooms, LSD or had a reaction to medication or some other illegal drug, most of which I've never even heard of. I've been accused of the entire gamut of street drugs, including cocaine, crack, methamphetamine, Mollie and even horse tranquilizers.
Of course, the 1960s and '70s were the drugs of an era, and everybody who was anybody tried a little just to see what it was like. And I admit that I have tried marijuana before but none of that hard stuff. My mind is screwed up enough as it is, and so I sure didn't think I needed drugs to push me further over the imaginary edge.
Even so, the 1960s and 1970s were some of the best years — and some of the worst years — of my life.
This was the Space Age, with the former Soviet Union launching the first satellite in 1958, the Sputnik, and the United States sending the first astronauts to the moon in 1960 called the Apollo Missions.
This was the decade of sorrow, as the nation mourned President John F. Kennedy's assassination in 1962, his younger brother, Senator and presidential hopeful Robert Kennedy's assassination in 1965, the killing of Nation of Islam leader and human rights activist Malcolm Little, a.k.a. Malcolm X in 1965; and the assassination of Civil Rights activist Reverend Martin Luther King, Jr. in 1964.
On September 15, 1963 in Birmingham, Alabama, white terrorists exploded a bomb at the 16th Street Baptist Church killing four black girls and injuring 14 others, sparking riots and a national outcry of grieving.
But this was also a decade of hope, as the Beatles, Chuck Berry and Elvis Presley changed the world with rock and roll. It was the Age of Aquarius, sexual freedom, mind-expanding drugs and Woodstock, racial tension and entrepreneurship.
It was the age of Afros, Barbie Dolls, beaded curtains and bell-bottomed jeans. Citizens from all walks of life sought to expand the meaning of the American promise. Their efforts helped unravel the national consensus, an effort that involved much struggle and unity but laid bare a far more fragmented society.
People like the late Jim Morrison, lead singer of The Doors, breakthrough singer Janis Choplin, actor/singer Marilyn Monroe, revolutionary and very talented guitarist and upcoming singer Jimmy Hendrix, all died at the odd age of 27 from an excess of opportunity, as cocaine, alcohol and marijuana fueled creativity, and drug overdoses became a common theme song that quickly rose to the top of the Death Charts.
The Civil Rights Movement clashed whites against blacks and the nation, as a whole, was in turmoil and more polarized than ever. Images of Black Panther violence led by Malcolm X associates, and the Neo-Nazis and white supremists groups like the Ku Klux Klan became symbols of violence on opposite ends of the spectrum, and senseless killings, bombings, lynchings and massacres on both sides, ripped at the very heart and the very soul of American pride.
At that time, I thought the world would end soon because of all of the violence and anger that society demonstrated. I thought God was going to punish us all.
The crazy part is that I've never been a drug abuser, and I find the taste of beer and most other alcoholic beverages repulsive. But I guess I would think the same thing too if someone came to me with wild stories about alien invasions, time travel, three eyed demons and the threat of bird-sized viruses with wings and gigantic robots from the future attacking our world.
Plus, I stressed that the arrival of these "monsters" only solidifies my theory that the end of the world is near. It does kinda sound like a looney bird chirping away when you think about it in comparison to science fiction today.
That's why I'm finally writing this down in my diary. It is the Year of our Lord, Friday, August 20, 3013.
I was born on a small farm in the Wyoming Territory on March 12, 1858. I was two years old when my father went off to war. Of course, I was too little to remember that day, but I know it was a sad time for Momma.
I think because I've kept quiet so long with all of this emotional stuff building up inside me, that I'm about to have an emotional breakdown, so I'm trying my best to get it all out, the best I can, if I can remember. I'm going to try to tell you everything from beginning to end.
Nightmares are the worst.
They're so disturbing that I cry almost every night, and sometimes they haunt my daydreams with thoughts so terrifying that I scream out loud in fear of my life. Sometimes, I feel like I'm losing my mind!
Silently, I pray for a stroke that might trigger an infliction similar to a lobotomy that would hopefully kill my brain cells, at least the ones that make you remember, and induce in me, a state of zombie-like behavior to get me as close to dead as a person can get.
And I at least, I'd be free. I guess that's one reason people are not designed to be immortal. All of the bad stuff you experience in life, which no one can be immune to, will resonate in your mind forever and ever.
I guess you're wondering why I'd rather be a zombie. Well, it's because I don't see death as a way out. From what I see, it's better to stay alive as long as you can. I do believe in heaven and hell, but somehow I know there's more to it than that — a damn lot more!
It's a hard thing for the brain to absorb this complex reality I've discovered about heaven, hell and the various dimensions and inter-dimensions that exist in this universe of life — and death.
This "meaning of life thing" is as complicated as it gets. It's like the algorithm of seemingly randomized-yet-pre-determined polymer chains— DNA — that control the way we perceive the world, customizing our development, our behaviors, and creating a personality that intermingles with the soul that ultimately defines us as a unique individual.
There're so many of us — people, human beings — ugly, pretty, rich, poor, arrogant, meek, reaching out, screaming out to touch the world! Each one of us capable of inflicting so much pain, misery and suffering upon the lives we touch; but on the other hand, with the ability to give so much affection and compassion that if love and hate could be harnessed and quantified as a force, it would be powerful enough to move mountains and perhaps even tip the earth off its axis.
People act as if they're walking around with their eyes wide shut. They just don't realize that time is running out.
Ancient Chinese legend warns of the return of a resilient alien army with the force to attack living Deoxyribonucleic Acid or DNA, the proteins that all living organisms need to replicate. And with that power, like a flying, bird-like virus, they will have the ability to transform all animal life, including human beings, into demons, gods and monsters!
Before the Dark Ages, before the time where dragons ruled the skies, there was an incredible and powerful army of alien nanomachines with so many numbers — trillions of them — that it seemed inevitable that the planet earth would be overrun and turned into an apocalyptic wasteland.
The resilient nanomachine army from space seemed unstoppable, but after only two years of ravaging the planet, the alien army was defeated by some unknown force that suddenly rose from the ashes.
"Evil creatures shall come forth from the entire earth, flying from the skies and crawling like nasty maggots with the stink of indignation, and they shall lay waste to all of things pure and evil and will ravage all things alive, dead, synthetic, artificial and incarnate; for these metamorphan shall render waste to all living and non-living creatures of this world and shall slither into other dimensions, thereafter, until only the multitudes of all darkness shines bright!" — Praelick Principles
Some people believed it was a miracle of man, the strength of survival, but it was through science and the supernatural that gave us the advantage to overcome those evil forces from space.
Long ago, in the days of magic and wisdom, referred to as "Maxima est Tenebrae" which means "Truest of Darkness," soldiers and magicians of that era, led by the mystical legend Merlin and his group of knights called The Order, combined forces, captured many of these creatures and performed experiments to harness their powers. They forged an impenetrable substance made from a metal blessed by the gods.
It is written that in an attempt to defeat the creatures who threatened this planet, this metal called Nanocromb, was forged into swords, shields and body armor to fight the creatures off and prevent them from attacking our inner souls, that eventually became what is known scientifically as DNA.
This antiforce was born in the West, in an area known as Mesopotamia, sometime before the year 3000 B.C. and became part of a prophecy called Zixiang Maodun (自相矛盾, "from each-other spear shield"). This battle between the aliens and soldiers of the earth was known as the "Force Conflict."
It is often referred to, in a somewhat more simple but imprecise expressions in scientific terms as when the "Unstoppable Force meets the Immovable Object."
This term originates from a story in the 3rd century BC philosophical book in Chinese history. In the story, two warriors battle in a fierce combat for what was known then as the "Seed of Life".
One warrior wields a white golden-diamond plated spear christened by the gods so that it was thought to be indestructible or unstoppable. His nemesis, the other warrior, is protected by a black Nanocromb shield, given to him by a god who blessed it with immovable or impenetrable forces. Metaphorically, these two soldiers represent good versus evil or an expanded interpretation would be "Heaven versus Hell."
Scientifically, it is believed the shield was reinforced with long, compressed black carbon chains that adjusted and reoriented themselves to make it resistant to any external forces that may come against it.
Plus, of course, magic was involved to make it impenetrable. The fight was fierce, long and bloody. It ultimately lasted throughout eternity, according to legend, and no one was ever declared the absolute winner.
So the legend goes that since no one could be named the absolute winner, that each of the warriors received punishment by being banished from physical earth and barred from entering either Heaven or Hell, and were forever cursed by becoming the gatekeepers of the afterlife, or the "Messengers of Death."
Throughout the ages as more of the legend is revealed, it was written in an ancient language on an old tattered scroll. But from what could be gathered, it says that from that same story about the Messenger of Death, that an alien-human hybrid who has incredible powers, will rise at a time when the world is teetering on the brink of destruction from threats from outer space, and at a time when all hope of survival has long passed.
Though man-made but omnipotent, which is subsequently non sequitur, it will be omnipotent, god-like, indestructible. It will be an advanced life form made of the same indestructible material as the aliens, Nanocromb, and equipped with a more advanced version of nanotechnology than the invaders from space.
This super soldier will be a contradiction within itself, part alien, part human, part artificial intelligence, an "A.H.A.I." (alien-human-artificial intelligence) which by its own merits, is designed with an inescapable, internal conflict. He will be artificially born of this earth, rising from the ashes as a defensive-yet-doomsday weapon or better yet, an impenetrable "force" blessed by the gods, enhanced with alien technology and earthly advanced weapon systems.
It is considered the ultimate defensive or doomsday weapon, a machine that can absorb infinite energy, and use the power to reorganize itself, and by pure will, can mesomorph its body to become the anti-force of whatever power attacks it.
He will be a savior by any other name, but so powerful that once the earth is saved, nothing will be able to stop him from his continued destruction beyond the earth and other planets in this solar system and even other dimensions. Nothing!
There's only one consolation. There's a question about whether this AHAI will have a soul. If he can find his soul, this could give him the deeper understanding he needs to comprehend humanity and perhaps control his powers of destruction infinite.
It is written that this Super Soldier will face another incredible force just as strong, the birth of the Immovable Object; thus the rebirth of the predicted Zixiang Maodun, better known in legend as that pivotal moment in time when the "Unstoppable Force meets the Immovable Object!"
Once these two battle, the outcome could lead to a new Messenger of Death — The Grim Reaper — who would perhaps live in the afterworld as an omnipotent force but unable to exist in the physical world for long periods of time.
It's called the "Force Paradox" for a good reason." This phenomenon of physics can be simple or complex depending on how it's used in calculations pertaining to force. Most theoreticians would say that, if converted to an equation, UF + -IO = O, the answer would have to be "zero." And it has to be
"zero" because the immovable object (IO) and the unstoppable force (UF) are both implicitly assumed to be indestructible, or else the question would have a trivial resolution. Furthermore, it is assumed that they are two separate entities.
The paradox arises because it rests on two incompatible premises—that there can exist simultaneously such things as unstoppable forces and immovable objects.
But if the problem goes beyond physics and moves to the realm of metaphysics, where external forces are not given numbers and where the spiritual factors are at play, the answer to that equation would ultimately change. Instead of "zero" or "nothing" the answer in the metaphysical world would be the opposite of zero, "everything" or more precisely — "infinity."
It is said that Darkness, the truest Darkness, is not just merely the absence of light. It is the conviction that the light will never return. But the light always returns to show us familiar things — family, friends, home, and to show us things entirely new, or long overlooked, forgotten, and hidden in the shadows like a dark secret.
Once revealed, though, the path out of darkness shows us new possibilities and challenges us to pursue the good in the world, and abstain from evil because darkness brings chaos, loneliness and fear.
The prophecy reveals that this battle will involve a spiritual stand against evil, one that must ultimately save this miserable world from a horrible ending, but will condemn the savior to a life of everlasting misery, perhaps a casting down from one plane of existence to another.
While the future looks grim for us all, the Praelick Principles of future things tell us without a doubt that the world needs saving, given the creatures wreaking havoc on the world in the 31st Century.
The Setrekians, Swipnasters and Dracks are part of the efforts by disillusioned scientists will use to try to turn the world into a Dystopian environment, and their rise to dominate the planet can only help a mad scientist realize this dream toward worldly domination.
Jack Fontaine is the Pharaoh of the 28th Century. Like those ancient Egyptian rulers, this man defied God because he thought of himself as all powerful and godlike. I'll tell you more about him later because he's the main reason the world turns out like this.
The only problem now is that once the earth is saved, it is said that this savior, designed with the most ultimate powers of destruction, will be lost. With all this power, he can not simply be just turned off.
Unleashed, he will eventually become just as threatening to the world and to the universe and other dimensions as the evil creatures he was created to destroy!
But nature has a way of balancing things out. It's not known exactly where this force will come from and why it was summoned, but it is predicted that the Unstoppable Force will arrive in the Year of our Lord 3013, when the world will surely been doomed.
I know it sounds too incredible to believe, and even I have trouble believing it too, even after witnessing some of this myself, at least the beginning of what will eventually be the ending for us all!