[Year 2010]
I stood outside the school building, the sun blazing down on me. Sweat trickled down my face as I waited. Then, he saw me.
"Hey, what are you doing here?" He asked, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion.
"I'm waiting for you, " I replied, trying to keep my voice steady.
"Why?" He asked, a puzzled expression on his face.
"I need a ride, and we have a date remember?" I said, hoping he would agree.
"Sorry, I am busy. I have plans tonight." He replied, scratching his head in discomfort.
"Come on, you can take a little time off for me," I tried to test him, to see if he really loved me. I knew he was a playboy, but I was hoping he would prove me wrong.
"No," he said, his voice firm.
"Just an hour. We can have some ice cream or something," I pleaded.
"Fine, but just an hour," he finally agreed.
I was thrilled. I was finally going to spend some quality time with him. Since the day we became lovers, I always felt like I was the luckiest girl in the world.
We found ourselves in a park, sitting on a bench eating ice cream. I could feel his gaze on me.
"You know, you are really beautiful," he said, making me blush.
"Thank you," I replied, my heart fluttering.
"I have been thinking a lot lately, and I think we should stop seeing each other," he said, his voice serious.
"Why?" I asked, my heart dropping.
"It's not working out. I can't handle it anymore," he said, his voice filled with regret.
"You mean, you're breaking up with me?" I asked, my voice barely a whisper.
"Yes, I guess so," he said, his voice filled with sadness.
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. It felt like a punch to the stomach. My heart was breaking.
"But why?" I asked, my voice shaky.
"It's just not working out. I'm sorry, Cleone. I really am," he said, his voice filled with regret.
"So you're leaving me? For good?" I asked, my voice filled with disbelief.
"Yes," he said, his voice barely audible.
"How could you? After all we've been through? You promised you would never leave me. You told me you would always be there for me," I said, my voice filled with anger and hurt.
"I'm sorry, Cleone. I just can't do it anymore," he said, his voice filled with sadness.
I was furious. I couldn't believe he would do this to me. I was hurt, and angry, and confused.
"So you're just going to walk away? Without even a fight?" I asked, my voice filled with disbelief.
"I'm sorry, Cleone. There's nothing else I can say," he said, his voice filled with regret.
"You're a coward. You know that, right? You're a damn coward," I shouted, my voice filled with anger.
"I'm just afraid!" He shouted back.
"Of what?" I asked, my voice filled with confusion.
"I'm afraid I'm going to lose you. I'm afraid that I'm going to hurt you. I'm afraid that I'm not good enough for you. I'm afraid that you're going to leave me. I'm afraid that you're not going to love me anymore. I'm afraid that I'm not going to be able to make you happy. I'm afraid that you're going to leave me and that I'm going to be alone," he said, his voice filled with fear.
"Or maybe you're afraid because I'm just a silly transwoman who doesn't have the vagina you've been longing for," I shouted, tears streaming down my face.
"No, no, no, that's not true. I love you, Cleone. I really do," he said, his voice filled with sincerity.
"If you loved me, you wouldn't have done this," I said, my voice filled with hurt.
"I'm sorry," he said, his voice filled with regret.
He left me standing there, alone, broken, and heartbroken.
"I should've never trusted you. I should've never given you my heart. I should've never let you into my life," I said, my voice filled with regret.
I was sobbing uncontrollably, my ice cream melting in my hand.
That night, I laid in my bed, staring at the ceiling. I couldn't sleep. All I could think about was him.
"Damn, why did he do this to me?" I asked myself, my voice filled with hurt.
{Jason's POV before the break-up
A jocky man approached me, a smirk on his face. He put his arm around my neck in a friendly gesture.
"Hey Jason, who's this new chick you got?" He asked, his eyes gleaming with curiosity.
"No one you should worry about," I replied, pushing his arm away.
"She's beautiful, dude. You got taste," he said, his smirk widening.
"I thought we were over this. I told you we're just friends," I said, trying to keep my voice steady.
"Friends with benefits?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.
"No, just friends," I said, my voice firm.
"But what about what you said? You said you were in love with me," he said, his voice filled with confusion.
"That was a mistake. I don't know what came over me," I said, my voice filled with regret.
"Come on, Jason. Don't be a chicken. Let's give it a try," he said, his voice filled with persuasion.
I was confused. I knew that I was in love with Cleone, but I also knew that I was in love with him too. I didn't know what to do.
"Fine. Let's give it a try," I said, my voice filled with uncertainty.
I was shocked at myself. I couldn't believe what I was doing. I had promised Cleone that I would never do this, and now I was about to break that promise.
"Good. Now come on, let's go somewhere more private," he said, his voice filled with excitement.
We went to a hotel room. We had sex. It was the best sex I had ever had. I couldn't believe how much I was enjoying it.
"See? I told you it would be fun," he said, his voice filled with satisfaction.
"Yeah, you were right," I said, my voice filled with disbelief.
"Now, let's have a threesome with that hot chick," he said, his voice filled with anticipation.
"Wait, what?" I asked, my voice filled with shock.
"Come on, Jason. Live a little. It'll be fun," he said, his voice filled with persuasion.
I was doubting this idea. I was worried about what I had done. I had cheated on Cleone, and I didn't want her to find out.
"I'll see what I can do," I said, my voice filled with uncertainty.
"Don't tell her it's a threesome, okay? Just say that we want to have a three-way with her. She'll be fine with that," he said, his voice filled with assurance.
"Okay," I said, my voice filled with worry.
We parted ways in the hotel lobby. I was still unsure if Cleone would forgive me. I took out my phone and dialed her number.
"Cleone, it's me. Are you awake?" I asked, my voice shaking.
"Yeah. What's up?" She replied, her voice filled with curiosity.
"Are you busy?" I asked, my voice filled with nervousness.
"Not really," she replied, her voice filled with confusion.
"I was wondering if you wanted to hang out," I said, my voice filled with hope.
"Sure, what's the plan?" She asked, her voice filled with excitement.
"Um, do you want to come over to my place? We can have a sleepover," I said, my voice filled with uncertainty.
"I thought you had plans," she said, her voice filled with confusion.
"I did, but they fell through," I said, my voice filled with regret.
"Sure. I'll be there in 20 minutes," she said, her voice filled with excitement.
I couldn't believe this was actually happening. It seemed too good to be true.
"Okay, great. See you soon," I said, my voice filled with relief.
[PRESENT]
"Mom, is something urgent coming?" I ask my mom, my voice filled with concern.
"No, why are you asking?" she replies, her voice filled with curiosity.
"Nothing," I reply, trying to hide the turmoil inside me.
My thoughts were consumed by him, the anger, anguish, and betrayal he inflicted on me two decades ago still etched deeply in my mind and heart.
"What are you thinking, dear?" my mother asks, sensing my inner turmoil.
"Nothing," I say, my voice barely a whisper.
My mom, Celine, was not only a talented pianist but also a successful entrepreneur. Standing at 5'6" with a slender body and a distinctive round butt, she exuded grace and strength.
"Is it about Jason again?" she asks, her voice filled with empathy.
"Yes, mom," I admit, my voice heavy with the weight of my emotions.
"I told you, darling, move on. He's not worth your time. You're a grown woman now. You can't let him rule your life," she advises, her voice filled with maternal concern.
"I know, mom. It's just hard, you know," I confess, my voice trembling.
"I know, baby. But it'll get better, trust me," she reassures me, her voice filled with love.
"I hope so, mom," I say, my voice tinged with uncertainty.
"It will. You just have to have faith," she encourages me, her words offering a glimmer of hope.
But deep down, I have no idea how much my heart and soul were crushed, betrayed, and shattered. I'm not even sure if I can ever forgive him for the pain and agony he caused me.
Feeling overwhelmed, I retreat to the bathroom and stare at my reflection in the mirror. My eyes are red and puffy, evidence of the tears I've shed. If only he hadn't resurfaced in my life, I wouldn't be in this state.
"F*ck, look at me. I'm a mess," I mutter to myself, frustration and sadness intertwining in my voice.
I can't believe I still miss him. After all these years, after everything he's done to me, I still love him. The depth of my emotions confuses and torments me.
Chapter 2 Ends