Chapter 26
I almost caught him glaring at me.
Mabilis niya rin naman itong iniwas at ibinalik ang mata sa bintana. His arms were crossed on his chest and his face could tell how gloomy the weather is.
Ilang segundo kong tinuon ang mata sa kanya, inaantay kung babaling siya ulit pero hindi naman. I fixed my eyeglasses and looked down on my laptop.
I crossed my legs and focused on my work.
We're on our way to Astalier.
Mga two weeks kami roon. At least ako at si Craig, pero sigurado uuwi agad si Wyatt at Mr. Zamion.
We used Tito Wancho's private plane. It's the small one though. Sapat lang para sa aming apat. Marami pa ngang space kaya doon na lang namin nilagay ang mga gamit namin.
Magkaharap ang upuan namin, sa bandang gitna ako nakaupo at katabi si Wyatt. Kaharap ko naman si Craig pero nakasiksik siya sa dulo at nasa kabilang dulo rin si Mr. Zamion.
I don't know what's his deal this time pero kanina ko pa napapansin na gusto niya na akong lusawin sa titig niya.
I am still fixing the program. Kaya kahit on the way na kami, hindi pa rin ako nagpapahinga. Gusto ko lang na pagkatapos tignan ng lugar, may maipapakita na akong program. After that, we can proceed with the materials.
"This is better." bulong sa akin ni Wyatt at tinuro ang ginagawa kong screen for battery consumption.
Tumingin ako sa kanya. "I know, right? The last time was pretty common. The coding though was more complicated but look..." sagot ko at namamanghang tinuro ang outcome sa laptop.
He grinned at me and nodded.
"Ilang minuto pa?" masungit na turan ni Craig. Tinutukoy ang minuto namin sa ere.
"Twenty minutes pa, Sir." sagot ni Mr. Zamion at tinignan ang relos niya.
Huminto ako sa ginawa at bumaling sa kanya ulit. Sinalubong niya ako ng matalim at tingin. He also crossed his legs and his lips in thin line.
But instead of removing my gaze I continued staring at him. Our eyes locked.
"This program was better than the first one. You're new at this, right?" tanong pa ni Wyatt sa tabi ko, I could feel his breath on my ear.
My eyes remained on Craig. I didn't give him any expressions but I also didn't move.
Lumipat ang mata niya kay Wyatt tapos ay bumaba sa laptop ko bago umirap at itinuon muli ang mata sa bintana.
I almost rolled my eyes. I went back to my work and continue talking to Wyatt.
"How long are you gonna stay, Mr. Zamion?" tanong niya ulit.
Gulat siyang hinarap ni Mr. Zamion dahil sa biglang tanong. "T-Three days, Mr. Tonjuarez. Babalik rin ako next week, kailangan lang talaga ako sa kompanya."
My eyes were on the screen but I am observing his movements. He shifted his position and deeply sighed.
"I hope you can do your job efficiently while you're here. Nasa Astalier tayo para magtrabaho. Ayoko ng may abala at bumabagal ang trabaho." may riin niyang tugon.
I bit my lower lip and proceeded on typing.
"Of course, Sir! I'll do my very best. We all do our best in our projects.."
I felt him staring at my direction again. "Hmmm. I see... kaya pala wala pa akong narereceive na updates sa program?" my finger froze from typing.
Lumipad ang mata ko sa kanya at hindi na ako nagulat nang mahuli ko muli siyang nakatingin. Bumuntong hininga ako at inayos ang salamin at upo ko. Naramdaman ko naman ang paglayo ni Wyatt at umupo na lang rin ng maayos.
Alam niyang sumasalida pa lang ako.
"What's the problem?" mahinahon ko pa na tanong. Hawak ko pa rin ang laptop.
Kung gusto niya pwede ko naman itong ipakita sa kanya nang hindi pa tapos para matahimik siya.
His brow twitched and faced my direction, still legs crossed. "Masama bang magtanong ako tungkol sa proyekto ko, Miss Ronoua? O naaabala kita?" mapanuya niyang sabi.
My forehead knotted. "Walang problema sa akin kung gusto mo ng updates. It's just I told you I'll show the program when we land. Kapag tapos na. Nasa ere pa tayo. Pero kung gusto mo, pwede ko naman ipakita ngayon—"
"Bakit hindi pa tapos? You have all the time in the world. Wala kang boyfriend kaya hindi hati ang oras mo, maaga ka rin natutulog at hindi ka na napapalabas ng condo mo kapag gabi na kahit may emergency." tuloy-tuloy niyang putol sa akin.
Napa awang ang bibig ko.
Wyatt and Mr. Zamion remained silent. Kung makapagsalita 'tong isang 'to parang wala kaming ibang kasama!
Napalunok ako at pumikit ng mariin nang matanto ang sinasabi niya. I faced him more.
"That's your problem? Alam mo ba kung gaano kahirap gawin itong program na gusto mo? What do you want Mr. Tonjuarez, hindi na ako kumain at matulog para matapos ito?!" I fired back.
He licked his lips frustratedly and looked away, before he faced me again. "That's not what I mean! Lagi mo naman minimisinterpret ang mga sinasabi ko." depensa niya.
Natigilan ako dahil sa bigat ang mga salita niya. I tightened my jaw and wearily looked at him.
Humugot ako ng malalim na hininga dahil pakiramdam ko malalagutan ako. "T-Then what's your real problem?" lumambot na ang pananalita ko.
I get it. Baka na-offend ko siya noong tumawag siya. Dapat ata pumayag na lang ako sa gusto niya?
Tahimik kaming pinapanood ng dalawa.
His brows softly furrowed. Hindi niya ako sinagot ngunit hindi rin niya inalis ang titig sa akin.
"W-What our problem? Craig?" halos hindi lalabas ang bibig ko ang boses.
Fine, maybe I am involved. Maybe this is our problem. Or his problems towards me.
His eyes turned weary and weak. He protuded his lips like a child. I felt my palms sweating against the hot surface of the laptop. My stomach is churning.
Silence remained for a couple of seconds.
He opened his mouth then close again, before he talked. "H-Hindi mo man lang talaga ako binisita?" he struggled saying.
My heart pounded.
Ramdam ko ang mabilis na pag baling ng ulo ng dalawa sa akin. Dumiin ang hawak ko sa laptop.
"M-May mga bantay ka naman." katwiran ko.
"Umuwi sila agad. Wala akong kasama buong magdamag."
Guilt crept in me. Cold gushed all over my body. Bumaba ang mata ko sa kanang paa niyang nakabenda. He really got into an accident?
I was so busy finishing my work wala na akong oras na icheck pa siya. Ni hindi ko naalala na kamustahin siya kanina.
When I hung up the call I went to sleep already. Pag gising ko naka tatlong tawag pa siya sa akin but I didn't bother to call back.
"I didn't know... I'm sorry." kinagat ko ang ibabang labi, nanghihinang tumingin sa kanya.
He pursed his lips. Trying to look upset but the light on his face lifted up even awhile ago. He's done throwing daggers too. Hindi niya siguro napansin.
"Paano kung may nangyari sa akin tapos namatay ako kasi wala akong bantay?"
Nanlaki ang mata ko sa kanya.
Biglang nasamid si Wyatt.
Seryoso niya iyong sinabi na para bang normal lang ang lumabas sa bibig niya.
"What?! Stop saying that! It's not funny." I uttered hysterically.
And face crumpled because of guilt and frustration when he silently smirk.
Pinaglalaruan niya ba ako?
Rinig ko ang malalalim na pagbuntong hininga ni Wyatt sa tabi ko.
"That's why I ask you to come. But you didn't." he said in a monotone, trying to supress his emotions.
Inis ko siyang tinignan. "I said I'm sorry..." I apologized but it sounds like I was just justifying my action.
His eyes stares remained on me. Nanliit ang mata nito at parang sinusuri kong totoo ba ang sinabi ko. Ilang segundo niyang ginawa iyon kaya kumunot na ang noo ko.
"You're forgiven." he softly grinned and looked away.
Wyatt almost spit his water again beside me. I glanced at him and gave him a warning look.
Tinutok ni Mr. Zamion ang atensyon sa tanawin sa baba at hindi na ako nilingon na parang walang naririnig. Panay rin ang inom niya ng tubig.
As much as I want to finish and focused on my work my body won't cooperate. Para akong galing sa marathon at hindi mapahinga ang isip at katawan ko.
The moment we landed I knew I needed the fresh air. Nag aantay na sa amin ang isang itim at malaking van. Didiretso kasi kami sa site para matignan na agad ang lupa.
Habang papunta ay kumalma na rin ako at nakolekta na ang sarili.
My attention drifted on the view. My eyes lingered on the big trees we passed by. Nostalgic feeling grew on me as old memories flashed in my head.
This is the first time I went back after six years. The province I used to love with all of my heart. Noong bata ako hindi kailan man pumasok sa isip ko na iiwan ko ang lugar na ito.
I was Miss Astalier. I was one of the pride of this land. But all those tables turned because of one event.
"We're here." anunsyo ni Craig at huminto na ang sasakyan.
Astalier PowerPlant Inc.
I mentally read the big signage placed above a dark blue ware house. I sighed and continued walking beside them.
Hindi na bago sa akin ang lugar na ito. Dahil bata pa ako nang mapadpad ako rito dati, ni hindi pa ako nakukuha ni Kuya noon.
Ngayon ko lang ulit nakita. As far as I can recall may warehouse na dito dati pero hindi ganito kalaki. Obviously, they made some renovations and elevated the land.
Alam ko rin si Tita Clemente ang nagpapatakbo nito dati. Ngayon na may ginagawang project dito sa Craig, malamang ay naibigay na ito sa kanya.
We started working. The massive land was already cleared. Naaalala ko na plantation ito dati. Hindi ko alam kung matagal na bang napahinto ang operation dito o pinahinto ni Craig para sa proyekto.
It was pretty cleaned. No traces of trees nor plants. Napapaligiran lang ng puno ang gilid na nagsisilbing bakuran ng buong lupain. Ngunit ang gitna at kabuuan ay malinis na.
"The panels will start from here, to there." turo ni Wyatt sa kinatatayuan namin hanggang sa kabilang dulo.
Tumango ako sa kanya. He said some foreign words for me but I think it's about the sizes and meters of the panels.
He already reviewed the blueprint kaya vinivisualized na lang namin ngayon.
"How about the steels?" tanong ko.
Humarap siya sa akin. "High strength Pre-galvanized tubes. Ground Mounted Racks." aniya.
Tumango ako ulit.
"I want a 3CR12 steel tubes included." pamilyar na boses ang pumutol sa usapan namin.
I turned to him and my brows furrowed when I saw him holding an umbrella with his right hand. His other hand was inserted inside the pocket of his suit.
Wyatt slowly nodded beside me, agreeing with him. "That's better... actually." komento nito.
I looked so lost with what they are talking about. Magaling lang ako sa programs but when it comes to materials and construction wala na akong masyadong ideya.
Tuluyan na itong nakalapit at huminto sa harap namin. Naniningkit ang mata ko sa kanya dahil sa init, ngunit bago pa ako makapagsalita ay dumapo ang kamay nito sa braso ko at hinila ako upang makasilong sa dala niyang payong.
Leaving Wyatt under the sun.
"Why are you here? Tapos ka na ba?" pag iiba ko upang makuha ang atensyon niya.
I presented my work to him earlier. The program. I explained everything and he seems pleased with what I came out to. Iniwan ko na siya doon matapos dahil nag usap pa sila ni Mr. Zamion and I needed to check the land with Wyatt.
Lumapat ang mata nito sa akin at bahagyang yumuko upang makita ang mukha ko. Hindi niya binawi ang kamay sa braso ko, leaving almost no space between us. I gulped when I suddenly felt the sweat flowing down from my forehead.
Basa ako ng pawis dahil sa init!
"Yes." maamong sagot nito.
Napakurap-kurap ako.
Ngunit lalong nanlaki ang mata ko nang punasan niya ang pawis sa noo ko gamit sa palad niya. Napa atras ako ngunit hinila niya rin ako pabalik.
"It's hot here... let's go inside." marahan niyang anyaya.
Wala kaming nagawa ni Wyatt kundi ang sumunod sa kanya. And as if I still have a choicr when his grip was on my arm.
He guided me inside the warehouse and his hand placed on my back. Nasa likod namin si Wyatt. Gusto ko man siyang sitahin ay ayoko nang masundan ang sagutan namin kanina.
I just swallowed hard and shove the foreign feeling away.
Nag meryenda na rin kami sa loob. The warehouse was empty except for the offices. Mga tatlo ata ang occupied, dalawa sa baba ang isa sa taas kung saan nag oopisina si Craig. The rooms were aircondition kaya hindi mainit.
The office looks like a pretty common office. Were like inside a container van... just bigger.
"Miss Ronoua, the hotel is now ready. Ipapahatid na po ba namin ang mga gamit niyo?" tanong ni Yesa ang sekretarya ni Craig.
Kumunot ang noo ko at ibinaba ang kape sa coffee table, tumingala ako sa kanya dahil nakaupo ako sa couch.
"Bakit hotel? No. Pakisabi hindi dadalhin doon ang mga gamit ko." mariin kong sagot. Bakit mag sasayang pa ng pera sa hotel, kung may bahay ako rito?
Alangan akong tinignan si Yesa. "M-Ma'am, utos po kasi ni Mr. Tonjuarez—"
"I told them to book a hotel incase you might be uncomfortable staying at the Ronoua mansion." singit nito.
Bumaling kaming dalawa ni Yesa sa kanya, na kanina pa may inaayos na papeles sa lamesa niya.
"Bakit naman ako magiging hindi komportable sa sarili kong bahay?" naguguluhan kong tanong. Minsan talaga hindi ko na alam kung magugulat pa ba ako sa mga tumatakbo sa isip ni Craig.
He shifted his weight and leaned on the backrest of his swivel chair. He tapped the tip of the pen on the table.
"Because you are here for work. And going back there might affect you emotionally. Old memories might trigger—"
I straightened my back. "I'm okay! It's okay. N-Nothing will triggered..." paninigurado ko.
I bit my lower lip and intently looked at him. My chest pounded as I gathered my strenght to match his gaze.
What does he mean by that? Triggered? Ako?
What does he even know?
Even if I am contemplating his words on my head my face remained sincere.
"You sure?" he softly raised his brow. His tone was so soothing my thoughts almost melted.
I nodded slowly. "O-Oo naman... I miss home too." wika ko.
Yumuko na si Yesa bilang pag galang bago lumabas ng opisina. Umiwas na ako ng tingin at umupo ng tuwid.
"Your home misses you too." he gently uttered under his breath.
Ako na ang naghatid kay Wyatt papuntang sa site kung nasaan ang helipad na pinaglapagan namin kanina. Hindi siya pwedeng magpalipas ng gabi dito dahil marami pa raw siyang aasikasuhin bukas.
I was on the way home with my things with me when I received a call from Craig.
Bakit tumatawag nanaman 'to? Magkasama lang kami kanina. Pagabi na hindi pa rin siya natigil.
"Yes?" I answered the call. Mamaya may nangyari nanaman sa kanya at mapaglabasan ulit ako ng sama ng loob.
"Mr. Zamion was already at the hotel."
Akala ko naman kung ano na.
"Okay. Thank you, Craig."
"How about a dinner?" he asked out of the blue.
Natigilan ako. Sumilip ako sa labas at nakitang lumampas na kami ng Mansyon ni ex Governor Astalier. Malapit na kami sa mansyon.
"I'm on my way home. I'm sorry." tanggi ko.
Hindi ito agad sumagot. I heard him sighed after a few seconds.
"Just for tonight, Miande. If you're not tired, though." bakas ang pagsusumamo sa boses nito.
It made me feel the foreign feeling I've had earlier. I held my chest hoping my system would remain calm.
I bit my lower lip. "Where?" I gave in.
This is the first time I accepted his offer. And I am doing this because I felt guilty he thought, I purposely ignored him when he was at the hospital. I am not that petty to ignore him kung alam kong kailanga niya ng tulong ko.
"At the mansion. Can you go?" his voice cheered a little.
Akala ko kakalma ako kung papayag ako. Pero hindi ko alam bakit bigla na lang akong kinabahan.
I cleared my throat. "O-Of course... I'll be there at seven."
I could feel my heart almost jumping out my throat when I got out of the car. Gumala ang mata ko sa pamilyar na mansyon. The exterior was still the same, except that it looks more elegant than before.
Isang security ang sumalubong sa akin. He bowed down and lend his hand to guide me inside. Kilala ko sila sa uniporme palang, hindi ko alam na naglagay ng Ronoua Security si ex Governor sa mansyon niya. Wala naman ito dati.
Nakarating na kami sa pinto at may apat na security pa ang nakatayo roon. Bago pa man ako makapasok ay lumabas na si Craig sa front door.
Wearing a fancy black suit he smiled at me. I am thanking myself in my head when I decided to wear a white dress just in case this is a bit formal. I am right.
"Shall we?" he gracefully offered his arm so I could put my hands on it.
Humiwalay na sa akin ang security. Tumango ako sa kanya at kahit nababaguhan ay tinanggap ko nalang. Ayaw ko naman siyang mapahiya sa harap ng security.
Pumasok na kami sa loob. I don't know if they also renovated the mansion, pero sa pagkakaalam ko kapag nakalakihan mo ang isang lugar magmumukha na itong maliit sayo. But this house, it looks bigger than how I remember it when I was a kid.
The warm light of the chandelier in the dining room made the atmosphere relaxing.
Sa loob kami ng mansyon kakain. Nagsimula na silang maghain ng mga pagkain. Luminga-linga ako sa paligid, expecting na may darating pa. Mga pinsan ni Craig o kasama namin sa trabaho pero wala.
"Nasaan ang iba?" I leaned forward to whisper to him.
Natigil ito sa paghiwa ng steak niya at tumingin sa akin. "What do you mean?" his brows shot up.
Doon ako napa atras nang mapagtanto kung ano ang pinaunlakan ko. This dinner was exclusive for the two of us! Akala ko naman may pa-dinner talaga siya para sa team o pa-welcome dinner sa kanya dahil bumalik siya rito!
My mouth parted and I helplessly looked away. Yumuko ako at pasimpleng hinilot ang sintido ko.
Alam kong pumayag ako mag dinner kasama siya kasi na-guilty talaga ako. Pero I expected na may kasama kami kahit isa man lang o dalawa. Lalo na't sa mansyon niya ako inimbitahan, pero ni isang anino ng tao wala akong makita ngayon!
"Miande? May problema ba?" pukaw niya sa akin. Hirap akong lumingon sa kanya at umiling-iling.
Fine. Just tonight.
"W-Wala... may naisip lang ako."
"You should eat. We'll go outside later." utos niya.
Sinunod ko na lang ang sinabi niya. I made myself enjoy the food they served. It was pretty good. The wine was also incredible.
Tahimik kami hanggang matapos kumain. Hindi ko alam kung sinasadya niya iyon o wala lang talaga siyang masabi at masita ngayong gabi.
Wala kasi kami sa trabaho kaya hindi siya maka angal.
But seriously his silence makes me uncomfortable or bothered. May gusto ko pang nag susungit siya sa mga walang kwentang bagay, at least sa ganoon nababasa ko ang isip niya. Pero kapag tahimik siya, hindi ko alam. It gives me anxiety that something might go wrong.
Nang matapos kami ay niyaya niya na ako sa labas. Sa backdoor kami dumaan dahil mas malapit daw doon.
Hindi ko talaga siya maintindihan sa mga inaakto niya ngayong araw. Gabi na kaya wala kaming makikita sa labas. Maybe the air in Astalier infected him in some ways. Mas nakakakaba.
"Let's go." my eyes widened a little when he grabbed my hand already. Hinila niya ako sa gilid ng mansyon.
"Craig you can let go of my hand, I can walk." reklamo ko ngunit hindi niya lang iyon pinansin.
"Madilim na ano ba ang makikita natin dito?" wika ko ulit dahil tuloy-tuloy lang kami sa paglakad.
We stopped meters away from the mansyon. Sa silong ng isang puno. My face crumpled in darkness dahil gulong-gulo ako sa kanya.
"Seriously, Craig I don't have energy for this—"
Binitawan niya na ako at umikot sa likod ko. He placed his both hands on my bare shoulder and whispered.
"Here." he gently said in my ear.
The darkness was immediately replaced by light when warm bulb lights hanging on the tree and fences lit up.
It shows the flies just right above us.
The lights reflected on my widened eyes and my heart sank. I longingly watched them as the place continued to light up.
My mouth turned agape because of the wonderful sight right in front of me.
"I want to clear things with you." he said in a baritone but careful voice. "I never had a family. Sofia is not my daughter. Anak siya ni Isabel sa iba. We never got married. I pulled out from the engagement six years ago. I am single all this time."
I froze.
He inhaled sharply and licked his lower lip. I am still in shock to process what I heard to even answer him.
"Do you remember this place?" he bent lower and whispered behind me, not taking his hands off me.
I wandered my eyes around us. My eyes heated when I realized something. Tears pulled in my eyes. I know. I remember this place.
This is where we last fought and never saw each other again.
"Y-Yes. Why?" I hoarsely answered. Trying to sound unbothered.
I felt my heart throbbed crazily inside my chest. The warmth of his palm on my skin ran throughout my whole system.
He leaned closer and bent more to reach my ear. I could feel his hot breath beside me.
"You left this place with painful memories. And I will always be sorry for that. I know I contributed a lot to it...I know I hurt you multiple times. I am not asking you to forget it and forgive me... I know I don't deserve it." he painfully muttered.
Tears flowed down my cheeks. I could say that I could feel my chest being stabbed but I feel numb.
I couldn't feel anything rather than cry.
Sino ba ako para hindi magpatawad? Pinatawad lang rin ako.
You're wrong. I forgave you. Before I could even let God heal me. I already let go of the pain you've caused.
He inhaled heavily. "So, please let me replace those memories with good ones... Give me one chance, Miande... I'll make up for everything. For everything I've done..."