As soon as the pendulum clock strikes the eight of the evening, Anirudh moved towards their Haveli terrace as said by Bondita. When he saw the view it was really magnificient whole terrace was decorated with flowers of bela and Rajnigandha with vines and leaves along with some lanterns and diyas. He looked around and saw a small coffee table placed there with two seats( chauki) and nearby there was a wodden palang which provides the view of tonight's starry sky.He was roaming around the table when Bondita came with some casseroles in her hands from downstairs and said," Patibabu, baithiye na chauki par ye dekiye aaj kuch ekdam naya banaya hai khaane mein." saying this she also settled herself on other seat and opened the lid of the casserole grabbing the attention of Anirudh.
"Bondita, ye kya hai ye toh maine kahi dekha hai par yaad nahi aa raha, aur tumhe ye kab sikha hai ye humare bharat mein toh kahi nahi banta shayad." Anirudh said.
"Are patibabu aap bhi na, aapko pata hai ye kya hai, ye spaghetti pasta hai main jab london mein thi na tab ek ladki thi jo ki italy ki rahne wali thi ek baar usne mujhe ye khilaya tha, ye Italy ki cultural dish hai aur maine bhi usi se banana seekh liya tha, aur aaj socha aapko ek baar khilau kyunki ghar ke baki log pata nahi khayenge ya nahi aur kakasasurji toh haath bhi nahi lagayenge. ab jaldi chakhiye na."She said eagerly waithing for his confirmation.
" Bondita ye toh bohot acha bana hai aur bahot alg sa taste bhi hai acha laga mujhe. ab tum bhi khaao na." Anirudh said after taking few bites.
After completing their dinner Bondita said," Patibabu aap ne aaj meri bahot tareef ki hai pata bhi hai aapko ki main aaj kitni khush hu aur isliye ye dekhiye aaj bohot saalon baad hum khelenge isse pahle toh main bas Kakasasurji ki madad karti thi par aaj main khud pura khelungi aur dekhna jeet bhi jaaungi." Bondita said showing him the chess board.
" Acha Bondita, pahle main utna dhyaan nahi deta tha isliye shaayad tum jeet jaati thi par ab main itne saalo mein kaka ko kai baar shatranj mein hara chuka hu ab tumhaari baari hai aur main hi jeetunga." Anirudh said confidently.
"Thik hai par jo bhi harega use jeetne wale ki ek baat manni hogi, bolo manzoor hai." Bondita said.
"Ha manzoor hai" He replied. And they bioth started playing the chess after half an hour suddenly noting her move, she said " Ye rahi check aur ye hogai mate. Matlab shaih aur maat. Aur main jeet gai. She squealed in joy and after making few faces Anirudh also smiled at her accepting his defeat.
" Acha pati babu toh ab aapko meri ek baat manni hogi, toh ab jab main aapke sawalon ke jawaab de rahi hungi tab aap sirf shaanti se sunenge aur bich mein nahi tokenge aapko jo kuch bhi kahena hai aap buspar ache se kal vichar kar ke fir hi mujhse se kal ya uske bad kahiyega. Manzoor hai."
" Thik hai Bondita jaisa tum kaho, ab bato kya hai mere jawab ." Anirudh said now curious to know his answers.
" Patibabu kya main aapke jawaab dene se pahle ek baar aapke gale mil sakti hu jaise bachpan aap kisi khaas baat par milte the." She said making a hopeful face.
And without saying anything he embraced her hugging her securely in a protective embrace, they parted after few minutes, and she said to him to lay there on the bed while watching the starry night she will answer him aal his previous questions. once he lied down with a pillow under his head, she sat beside him while watching the stars and started to caress his forehead with her one hand gently and spoke.
"Pati babu aapka sabse pahela prashn, Main Maa kyun nahi banna chahti.
Vo isliye kyunki main darti hu, aapko yaad hai jab humne nahi maine humari shaadi ki pahli aur aakhiri baar salgirah manayi thi, tab jab meri maa se maine kaha tha ki vo mujhe apne saath le jhaaye aur unhone mujhe le jaane se mana kar diya tha.
Anirudh interrupted, Bondita par maine.." She cuts him in between " Janti hu aapne unhe mana kiya tha aur samjhti bhi hu ki kyun kiya tha aapne aur unhone aisa isliye toh maine unhe maaf bhi kar diya par kya aapko pata hai maine us din ke baad kabhi unhe maa nahi bulaya kyunki jab unnhone mujhse ye kaha ' Teri maa mar gayi tere liye ' uske baad unhone mujhe Maa bulaane ko bhi kabhi nahi kaha kyunki vo kabhi ye baat dekh hi nahi paayi."
"Aur main hu toh unki hi beti toh agar kabhi maine bhi ye kiya toh main khud ko kabhi maaf nahi kar paaungi kyunki bhalai ke liye jo bhi kiya usse mujh par kya beeti ye sirf main jaanti hu aur main kabhi nahi chaahungi ki kisi aur bachche ko ye sab sahna pade mere karan. Main maanti hu aapne mana kiya par vo sab kahne ko aapne nahi kaha tha aap toh mujhe kuch samay se hi jaante the par vo toh meri maa thi na unhe kuch aur kyun nahi sujha. Par sirf yahi ek karan nahi.
Anirudh felt a pang in his heart when she said that he knows her somepart only when he always said that he knows her fully.
" Pata hai dusra karan vo hai Consent jo maa banne ki natural process mein sabse jaruri hai vo consent jo main kisi ko shayad kabhi nahi de sakti, vo consent jo aapne hi mujhe sikhjaya tha. Vo consent jo maine ek samay aapse cheene ki kosish ki jab main aapko mujhe apni patni maanne par majboor kar rahi thi. Aur vahi consent jo us Thakur ne mujhse cheena par mere rakshak babu ne mujhe bacha liya. Isiliye main kabhi maa nahi ban sakti ya banna nahi chahti."
"Bondita.."
" Aapne vaada kiya hai shanti se sunne ka, agar aap bole toh main uttar nahi dungi, please chup rahihye aur mujhe bolne dijiye." And again she started," Aapka dusra prashn, ki aap toh mere patibabu hai toh fir main aapse ek din kyun mang rahi thi "
" Kya aapko yaad hai jab Samaroh mein jo Kaka sasurji ne meri shaadi ki saalgirah par rakha tha usmejab aap mujh par chillaye the aur fir humne ek dusre se maafi maangi thi. Aap mujhse maafi maang rahe the aur main aapse, par har baar sirf humne wek duisre se yahi kaha galti tumhari nahi meri hai kisine ye nahi kaha tha ha maine tumhe maaf kiya kyunki kisine maaf kiya hi nahi tha."
By listening her all the flashbacks started to come again in fornt of him. But he stayed mum to listen her side.
" Pata hai main aapse maafi maangne aayi toh thi par main apni galti sahi se nahi jaanti thi main toh us din bhi galat hi thi, main aapse isliye maafi maang rahi thi kyunki mujhe laga tha ki main jo bhi kar rhi thi vo ache se nahi tha main aapko khush karna chahti thi aur mujhe laga main padhayi nahi kar rahi thi isliye hi aap gussa hai, aur fir maine socha ab aapko padhayi karke khush karungi, maine isliye bhi aayi thi khaan a leke kyunki kahi na kahi main usdin bhi ek achi patni banna chahti thi jo kuch bhi ho jaaye apne pati ko bhukha nahi sone deti hai. Par main usdin aapse naraaz bhi thi aur isliye maine soch jab tak aap mujhe manayenge nahi ki main aapko phir se patibabu hi bulaau tab tak main aapko biristra babu hi bulaungi aur isliye us raat se maine aapko pati babu nahi kaha, pata hai lekin main kisise bhi jyaada din naraaz nahi rah sakti aur shayad main jald hi aapko phir pati babu bhi bulane lagti agar agle din humare school mein bhaashan nahi hoto toh, us din jab maine self respect and self worth pe ek angrez teacher ka bhaashan suna tab mujhe samajh aaya ki self respet aur self worth kitni important hoti hai sirf ek purush ke liye hi nahi balki ek mahila ke liye bhi jo bharat ke jyaada tar gharon mein kabhi unhe dena aur maangna sikhaya hi nahi jaata. Us din mujhe laga ki jab aapne mujhe sabke saamne mana kar diya patibabu bulane se toh main phir aapko ek spineless creature ki tarah kaise phir se patibabu bulane ka soch sakti hu aur phir mera aapko biristra babu hi bulane ka samay shuru hua aur vo chalta hi rahta kyunki aap kabhi mujhe ye nahi kahte ki mujhe patibabu bulao Bondita ye main tab nahi jaanti thi par jald hi jaan gayi. Jab ek din aap kolkata gaye the mujhe aapki study ki safaai karte hue ek diary milli aur kuch patra bhi, main use padhne lagi puri padhi thi maine vo aur tab bohot kuch saaf ho gaya tha.
Mujhe pata chal gaya ki Pari didi aakhir buri didi kyun ban gayi, uska karan kahi na kahi main thi, kyun aapko apke man ki zindagi nahi mili phir bhi aap humesha mere liye apna sab kuch chod dete hai pahle Saudamini Ji aur phir Manorama Ji sirf ek hi karan aapki zimmedari aur sab aapse alg ho gaye aapko gav mein rahna pada Saurab jamaibabu ki.. maut ho gayi. Par phir bhi aapne kabhi sikayat nahi ki."
Anirudh immediately sat on his place, but Bondita was quick enough to make him silent and agin made him lie down but this time she placed that pillow on her lap and then adjusted his head on that pillow all the while caressing his locks to make him calm.
" Aap ye mat samjhiye ki main apne aap ko saara dosh de rahi hu main toh bas ye kah rahi hu ki kahi na khai main bhi ek kaaran thi par jo hona hota hai vo koi badal nahi sakta isliye main kudko doshi nahi maanugi humesha, us din mujhe ek baat aur samjh aayi ki main jo bhi kar rahi thi, aapse patni ka darja maangna ya kuch aur vo sab galat tha kyunki aap toh mere Patibabu kabhi the hi nahi. Aap pati toh tab hi hote na jab aap mujhe apni patni maante par aap humesha se ek zimmedar insaan the. Main bhale hi aapko patibabu maanti thi par aap kabhi the nahi aur us din mujhe humari shaadi ka sach bohot ache se samajh aa gaya aakhir 6 maheene badi jo ho gayi thi kuch toh samjh badhegi hi na, main samajh gayi ki aapne meri jaan bachane ke liye ye sab kuch kiya, apna sab kuch chod diya. Aur us din mera bharam tut gaya jismein main shayad do saalon se jyaada jee rahi thi. Main apne bharam se nikal kar sacchayi mein aa gayi thi. Aur jab aap kolkata se laute tab aap Barrister babu ho gaye jaise sab aapko bulate hai usi tarah.par fir bhi aap mere jivan ke rakshak babu, shikshak babu,Jaadugar babu, paheli babu, aaina babu, dost babu, rakshas babu aur sab kuch tab bhi the kyunki bhalehi aap mere patibabu nahi the par vo sab aap apni marzi se bane the. Isiliye main yaha se door nahi gayi kyunki mujhe pata hai agar main jaati toh aapki zimmedari adhuri reh jaati par fir bhi main apne shikshak babu se naaraz thi, aapko yaad hai jab main Batuk ki tricycle seekhte samay gir gayi thi aur aapne pucha tha ki main kyun chahti hu ki aap mujhe sikhayein kyunki mukje aapki baat bohot ache se samajh aati hai toh kyun aapne shaadi ka sch agar mujhe bata diya hota apne kisi aur tareeke se pahle hi toh shayad main vo galtiyan nahi karti, shayad Manorama Ji ki shaadi jayodeep babu se nahi hoti, par mujhe ye sab bhi dheere dheere samjh aaya jab main aur ache se smjhne lagi yaad hai maine ek din pucha tha ki aapne mahavari ke baare mein mujhe bataya par Batuk ko nahi tab aapne mujhe samjhaya tha ki har cheez ko jaane ka ek vakt hota hai aur shayad mera tab vakt nahi tha. Fir ek samay aaya jab main sab samjh gayi aur aapko us din maine har cheez/baat ke liye maaf kar diya bas bata nahi paayi. Par aapke naye jeevan ki shuruwaat se pahle main aapko batana chahti hu ki maine aapko kabka maaf kar diya patibabu." Bondita said with a smile.
"Mujhe pata hai aap kya soch rahe hai, ki maine kitna kuch sahen kiya par main aapki sukraguzar rahungi umrbhar ki aapki vajah se maine kitni buri cheeze mehsus nahi ki. Aap jaante hai agar humari shaadi ka sach kisi ko pat achalta hai toh vo yahi sawaal karte hai ki aap mere bhaai kyun nahi bane, main jaanti hu kahna aasan hai par agar aap mere bhaai ban bhi jaate toh vo samaj ke thekedar kabhi nahi maante agar maan bhi jaate toh bhi vo yahi chahte ki ek vidhwa ko sati hona hi chahiye vo sirf tab hi rukte jab us vidhwa ki koi santaan ho ya phir pati jo aapne meri jimmedari li vo koi mere liye kabhi nahi ar sakta tha. Aapne meri jaan bachi hai aur isiliye main aapki har baat jab tak vo sahi ho maanti hu aur jab tak aap is zimmedari se mukt nahi hote maanti bhi rahungi. aapne kabhi bhi merikisi galti ka faayda nahi uthaya, main soch bhi nahi sakti agar us samay jab main galtiyaan kar rahi thi samaaj ki ek aam stri banna chahti thi agar aap meri baat maan lete toh pata nahi kya anarth ho jata, par aapne saara dsh humesh khud par liya aur mujhe bachaya dhanyawaad Rakshak babu. Rakshas se Rakshak banne ke liye." She giggled at her last words.
shhh... main jaanti hu aap kya kahna chahte hai,
" Yahi n ki itna sab kuch aap kabhi kyun nahi jaan paaye, vo isliye kyunki maine bhi aapko adhuri baatein batayi jaise jab main aapko Barrister babu bulane lagi aur kaha ki ye muje Barrister banne ki yaad dilayega. par ek aur bhi kaaran tha vo yeh ki main aapko birristra babu nahi bula sakti thi, Kyunki Birista Babu mein jo apna par hai vo mere patibabu ke hone se tha aur vo apna pan aur kisi mein mujhe kabhi nahi mil sakta, jab main aapse divorce maangne aayi thi uska bhi ek aur kaaran tha ki main is samaj mein jo bina matlab ka rishta samjha tha vo main khatam karna chahti thi, kyunki aapka aur mera rishta toh kabhi pati- patni ka tha hi nahi. Par aapne inkaar kar diya main jaanti hu ki aapne mujhe vo sab fir se un sabhi ghatnaon se bachane ke liye kiya jo do ssal pahle mera heeramandi tak pahunchne ka kaaran thi. Ab aap ye mat sochiye ki aapko kabhi ye sab samjh kyun nahi aaya jabki aap toh humesha kahte hai humara man ka rishta hai, bina taar wala judav hum ek dusre ke baat bina jaane bhi samajh sakte hai, toh vo isliye kyunki mere saare rishte mere patibabu ke saath the Barrister babu se nahi, Bondita ko uske Patibabu samjhte the kyunki Bondita apne patibabu se judi thi par vo man ka rishta kabhi nahi tha aur ye toh aapne bhi bohot pahle kah diya tha. Yaad hai aapko jab aapne kaha tha ki humara rishta man ka nahi majboori ka hai aur shayad isliye pahle main aapko nahi samjh paa rahi thi aapke tyaag aapke dukho ko, par ab main sab jaanti hu aur mujhe aapse koi shikayat bhi nahi hai. Kyunki main bhi bohot pahle sab jaan chuki hu ki rishte aise nahi bante aur konsa main aapse pyaar karti thi ya karti hu. Aapne hi toh samjhaya tha ki vo sirf ek attraction tha mere early teenage ka." She said with a warm smile maybe genuine too.
" Main bas chahti hu ki aapko aapka saccha pyaar aur saccha jeevansaathi mile, ha saccha kyunki pahle aapne bhalehi pyaar kiya ho par vo sacche nahi the kyunki sacche prem e baad dobara pyaar kabhi nahi hota isliye nahi aapka Saudamini Ji ke liye prem sacha tha aur na hi Manorama Ji ke liye ye main jaanti hu isliye chahti hu ki ab aap apne jivan mein sabhi zimmedariyon se mukt hokar apne prem ko chune aur aasha karti hu ki aap bhi mujhe maaf kar denge ab main aapse sirf anurodh kar rahi hu ye zaruri nahi ki aap karhi kyunki pahle hi bohot kuch maang chuki hu ab nahi maangna chahti"
" 12 bj chuke hai raat ke aap so jaayiye kal subah jaldi uthkar court jaana hai kal Monday hai pati bau, chaliye aankhen band kariye."
And Anirudh closed his eyes with tears unable to speak something but with her hand on his locks and forehead gently massaging, he couldn't help but sleep after few hours thinking about her talks only.
BY AAS..................