Hello friends!
Presale was a shitshow yesterday 🫶🏻 lol it was the worst. Was planning on 4 shows, didn't get any tickets bc ticketmaster said I was a bot, then I THOUGHT I had tickets to a show I wanted to go to but I bought tickets TO THE WRONG SHOW IN A DIFFERENT COUNTRY !!! Luckily I then was able to also get tickets to the other show I wanted AND today I was able to get tickets to another show through another presale. Still need to try for 2 more shows tomorrow 🤞🏻🤞🏻 meeting my fingers crossed that it'll all work out and I can get the ones I really want! ♥️
How did it go for you guys? Did you get the tickets you wanted? Let me know!!
Also I just re-read chapter 17 of this story (first book) where ty and lucas are arguing because tyler is not communicating and lucas is sacrificing so much for ty in their relationship and it's so fucking sad and i made myself cry LMAO reading parts of this story back, some moments are so fucking sad
Aaaaanyways, let's dive into this chapter! I hope you'll enjoy! Sorry for leaving you guys with that cliffhanger last chapter haha. I hope I'll make up for it!!
Would looove to hear what you think of this chapter and I really hope you'll enjoy. Sorry for one less chapter this week but I'll try to do three chapters again next week!!
Thank you for being here & please don't forget to leave a like when you can ♥️ quite a long chapter, please enjoy ♥️
Word count: 4124
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"No. No! No, no you can't. You can't! You can't", Tyler started rambling. "You can't leave tomorrow night, why- what- why are you- what do you mean? You're not leaving tomorrow night, not really right? What d'you mean you're leaving tomorrow? Josh what d'you mean, tell me, what does that mean", Tyler was panicking. "Please J, what the fuck do you mean you're leaving tomorrow night", he pressed.
"I- I'm sorry, I didn't- I didn't know how to tell you that I- I have to leave tomorrow", Josh said. "I just- I can't stay, I have to go back", he said. "No no, no Josh, no, stop fucking with me J, stop messing with me", Tyler said. "I- I'm not Ty, I wouldn't", Josh told him. "My ticket, my plane ticket, the last day it's valid is tomorrow. The last flight I can use it on is the one from tomorrow night", Josh said. "Wh- no, no I can't do that", tyler shook his head, and he was truly panicking. He felt his eyes sting and he hated how weak he looked when a tear escaped but he couldn't help it. "please stay, please", Tyler begged, his voice cracking. "I- I'm not prepared to let you go, I- I can't lose you, don't go, please, not yet, I need- I- I need one more day, one more day, I can't just- I can't just let you go Josh I need you to stay one more day", Tyler begged.
"But Ty I- I can't, I can't use the plane ticket after tomorrow night and I don't have enough to get a new plane ticket. I- I have no other choice", Josh said, his heart hurting so bad and there were tears on his cheeks now too as he saw Tyler genuinely crying.
"Let me get you another ticket, I'll pay, I don't mind, let me do that", Tyler said. "Let me have you for one more day, please, please don't leave", Tyler sniffled. "N-no, no Ty I do mind, I can't let you do that", Josh said. "I- I just bought you the game as a gift to give something back to you... and now you wanna pay a plane ticket that's ten times as much for me? I can't let you do that Ty", Josh said as he wiped his cheeks. "I can't do that baby", he said softly.
"Please Josh", Tyler cried. "Please don't leave me yet, I need you, at least one more day. I need to- to prepare, to brace myself for when- for when you're leaving, I- I can't just let you leave like that and- and- and be okay", he sniffled. "I'll do anything to- to have you here one more day, please Joshua", Tyler cried. "I need you, one more day", he pleaded. "Please."
Josh was so conflicted. He didn't want Tyler to pay for another plane ticket for him, at all. He felt guilty, he didn't want him to pay for him, he didn't want Tyler to do so when Josh just got him something to say thank you. It'd be like Tyler bought the game himself and more, 'cause the ticket was more expensive.
But being able to stay for one more day, one more day with Tyler... he wanted that so bad. Seeing Tyler cry because of how badly he needs Josh to stay just a little longer... how he isn't ready to let go of him yet, it broke his heart and it made Josh wanna stay so badly.
"I can't lose you J, not yet", Tyler whispered. "You- you're not losing me Ty, you're not", Josh replied as he sniffled softly. "I am though", Tyler sniffled. "I won't be able to see your smile anymore, to look into your eyes, to hear your voice, to cuddle you and hold your soft hand, I won't be able to hold you as I play your game and- and I won't have those late nights talking to you anymore", he cried. "I'll lose all of that but I- I'm not ready, please stay one more day, please Josh please", Tyler begged.
Fuck, Josh thought. He was making it so fucking hard for him to decide. He wanted to stay with Tyler so badly, he wanted to stay with him forever, but he couldn't let Tyler pay for everything for him. He felt like he had to make the hard choice and tell him he couldn't do it, but as he looked at the hurt in Tyler's eyes...
"You're making this really hard Ty", Josh whispered softly, then he wiped some tears away of his own. "I don't wanna... I wanna stay longer Ty, I do, but I- I don't- I feel like I can't let you do this 'cause you've been doing so much already and it makes me feel really guilty", Josh sniffled. "You do so much for me and then I try to do something back but... it means nothing 'cause right after, you're paying things for me again and I- I don't want that, I don't want you to think I'm using you, that I'm using you to pay these things for me and- and that's why I'm here 'cause it's not and I- I can't ever risk you thinking that way about me, I can't Ty", he sniffled. "I- I can't allow that", he said as his breath hitched slightly.
"Josh, baby, baby don't say that, don't say that it meant nothing", Tyler pleaded. "It meant everything to me J, you mean everything to me and that's why I so badly want, no; need, you to stay one more day", he sniffled. "You're so important to me J, you mean so much to me, and with every day you mean more to me. I love you more every day 'cause you're so incredible and so, so sweet and I just- I need to- to be able to prepare myself for when you leave, I- I need time to process it and- and come to terms with it so I- I won't break down like I'm fucking doing right now because I'm a weak piece of shit", Tyler said as he wiped his tears harshly. "I- I can't- I- please don't- don't just leave J, not tomorrow, not yet", he sniffled. "P-please don't leave me", he whispered. "Not yet."
Josh didn't know what to say, he didn't know what to do or think. Tyler was making it so so so fucking difficult for him. He buried his face in his hands as his thoughts were running like crazy.
He suddenly felt a hand on his arm, and then Tyler kneeled down in front of Josh as Josh uncovered his face. He looked into Tyler's sad, pleading eyes, as Tyler took Josh's hands in his own and he softly kissed Josh's hands.
"One more day J, please", Tyler whispered. "Then I- I'll let you go."
I wish you'd never let me go, Josh thought. It made his heart sting.
Josh rested his forehead against Tyler's, sighing softly. "...can we- can we check the prices first? If it's too much, I... I can't", Josh softly said. "Okay I- I'll check, can I check right now?" Tyler asked. Josh nodded. Tyler grabbed his phone as he still held Josh's hand with his other, looking up flights to LA. He scrolled for a while, then showed a few to Josh. "Look, these aren't bad right? Please tell me those aren't too bad", he muttered the last part. As Josh saw the prices, his heart rate slowly calmed down. They were actually quite affordable. Not the cheapest, but not even remotely close to being the most expensive ones. That made Josh feel less stressed about all of it.
"That's... doable, right?" Josh softly said. Tyler nodded quickly. "Yes, yes absolutely", he said, gently squeezing Josh's hand. "Please stay with me one more day J? Please?" Tyler asked as he put his phone aside, grabbing both of his hands again. He held his breath as he awaited Josh's reply cautiously.
Josh sighed softly as he looked into Tyler's impatient, scared, yet hopeful eyes. He still saw the pain in them too, the worry, the anxiety. Josh had caused Tyler to feel like that and it hurt him so much.
"...okay", Josh said. "I- I'll stay one more day."
Tyler let out a soft, extremely relieved and excited squeal and a second after he did, Josh froze as Tyler's lips met his. But as soon as they did, even quicker they were gone, and Tyler's eyes were wide as he stared at Josh.
"...I- I'm so sorry", Tyler said. "I- I didn't mean to do that, I just- I- I'm so sorry", he told him. Josh blushed. "I- it's... okay", he said. "That can... happen", he blushed, and Tyler's cheeks tinted slightly pink too. "Uhm... I- I meant to do this", he said as he leaned closer and now he kissed Josh's cheek, his lips lingering for a moment, and it made Josh weak. He was so glad Tyler still did that even after he just kissed him - even if it was just a split second - it made it less awkward. If Tyler would suddenly not be close or do something intimate to him at all anymore, it'd fully drive them apart and neither of them wanted that. He was so relieved Tyler decided to go for the cheek kiss right after.
As Tyler pulled back, Josh let go of Tyler's hands and he lifted them up to Tyler's cheeks. His hands rested in Tyler's neck and slightly on his face, his thumbs softly wiping Tyler's tears away. Then as Josh still held Tyler's face in his hands, he leaned closer and he pressed a kiss on Tyler's temple. "I- I didn't mean to make you so upset, I'm so sorry", he whispered softly. "Don't you ever apologize baby", Tyler told him softly, but Josh didn't listen. "I just- I didn't know how to tell you, that I had to leave, and I- I didn't wanna think about it too much, I just wanted to enjoy my time with you and Steve and Lucas... I didn't know how to tell you, I thought it'd be easier if I wouldn't say it days before but... I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, I- I made a mistake", Josh said softly. "Didn't make it any easier."
"Again baby, please don't apologize", Tyler told him, kissing Josh's fingers as he held his hands again. "You didn't know how I'd react", he said softly. "And I... hate how I reacted", he muttered. "...it's pathetic and I don't wanna make you feel like... like I'm trying to push you or force you to stay here", he said. "...I know that sounds ridiculous coming from the guy who's literally on his knees begging you to stay", Tyler then muttered.
"N-no, no I don't feel like that at all Ty, don't worry 'kay? I don't feel like that at all. I adore you", Josh said, then he blushed as he realized what he said. "And- and how- uh, how much you want me to stay", he quickly added, stammering a little, and it made Tyler smile softly. "I- I don't feel pressured or- or forced at all", Josh blushed.
"That makes me a lot more relieved", Tyler smiled, his lips meeting Josh's soft hands again. "Thank you baby, for reassuring me", he said. "Of course", Josh smiled. "I can't believe you, though", he said with a soft laugh. "I could so easily just leave tomorrow and you wouldn't have to spend any money on me again", he said. "I don't care about the money J, I care about you", Tyler said. "I couldn't care less about whether I'd be spending a penny, twenty bucks, a hundred or a thousand. If it gives me another day with you, I want to make sure I'll get another day with you", he said. "I wanna see you again after this, I wanna be your friend... but you'll be in LA. It's not as close as Detroit is to Columbus, or as Cleveland is to Columbus. LA is, like, a whole other place on this globe y'know?" He said.
"It's not easy to just... take a two hour drive to see you, it's impossible", Tyler said. "Or stay one night and go back home. It's a lot harder because LA is so far away from here... I'm in LA regularly when writing music and touring and I will make sure we'll meet each other then, but it won't be as frequent as I can with Steve and Luke y'know?" He said.
"So... any extra day with you is extremely valuable to me", he said. "Need to prepare myself mentally for when you leave", he said with a soft laugh. "No matter how pathetic it might be." Josh rolled his eyes at that. "It's not pathetic. It's sweet", he smiled. "Can I... can I give you a hug?" Josh asked softly. "Of course baby, you don't need to ask for that", Tyler said with a gentle laugh as he got up and he pulled Josh up by his hands too. They embraced each other in a tight, warm hug, and Josh closed his eyes as he rested his head on Tyler's shoulder. "Love you", Josh whispered softly, and it made Tyler's heart melt. He tightened his hug, pressing a kiss on Josh's temple before he resumed the hug. "I love you too J", Tyler replied.
That felt as a relief to Josh, as he'd been wanting to say that to Tyler but didn't know how he'd respond and he'd been holding his breath. He loved that his risk paid off and Tyler so affectionately returned it.
"Maybe we should... eat", Josh said with a soft laugh then. Tyler returned it, pulling back but not letting go of Josh fully. "I think the host saw us and aborted his mission 'cause it should've been here by now", he chuckled. "I think so too", Josh giggled, reaching up to wipe the last remaining tears off of Tyler's cheeks and Tyler did the same to Josh's.
"I'm so glad I got you with me for one more day", Tyler smiled, then he pressed a kiss on Josh's forehead. "Let's sit down again, okay?" he asked and Josh nodded with a smile. "Fred and Colin are leaving tomorrow evening, we were thinking of meeting up tomorrow afternoon before they go", Josh said as they sat back down.
"Oh what if we invite them over? They can see Steve's place and we can have dinner with them before they go back?" Tyler offered. "I- wh- are you sure?" Josh asked. "...about the dinner thing?" He asked, just to make sure Tyler knew what he was saying. "I mean... no, not entirely", Tyler chuckled. "But I got you, got Steve and Lucas... I think I'll be okay", he smiled. "And they don't know about my eating thing so..." Tyler trailed, his voice fading away.
"...right?" He asked. "They... they don't know, right?" He asked. "No! No, no they don't, I didn't tell them anything about that", Josh quickly said. Tyler nodded. "Okay, okay that's good", he smiled. "It's... easier to do when people don't know that I'm struggling on the inside", he chuckled. "I can kind of hide that I'm struggling then."
The host then came with their food and drinks, and Tyler smiled. "Thank you", he said. "Here, we'll pay when we leave but have this already", he said as he pulled some money out of his wallet as a tip. "I really appreciate that, thank you Mr. Joseph", the guy smiled. "Tyler, please, just call me Tyler", he chuckled.
"So uh... not very hungry right now after all of that", Tyler chuckled as the guy had left again. "But I'll force myself to eat", he said. "I'm really sorry", Josh apologized again. "No you can't be sorry baby, you did nothing wrong", Tyler smiled. "I just responded very path-" "Stop saying that too then", Josh interrupted him. "You didn't."
Tyler smiled. "Okay. Let's both stop saying those things", he said. "Deal", Josh smiled.
They drank their drinks and ate their food as they listened to the rain, Tyler realizing he could've known that today wasn't gonna be as perfect as he'd hoped when he saw the rain. Of course it was a giveaway that at one point that day, he was gonna feel awful and cry, and it was true. But now, he was relieved again, glad to have Josh with him for a little longer. But still, he felt that sadness tug at his heart; yeah Josh was staying a day longer, but he was still leaving soon. He wasn't prepared for that, not yet. He somehow had been thinking Josh would stay longer, which is dumb, he couldn't have expected that. But knowing that it was truly coming to an end soon was hurting a lot.
He tried to take deep breaths and not think of it for now. He wanted to enjoy his day with Josh. He wanted to spend this day with him, just him and Josh, focusing on building and strengthening their friendship and their bond.
Tyler tried not to think too much about having to miss Josh soon.
//
"That was a really cool spot", Josh smiled as they got to the car. "I'll take you there again if we're both in Detroit again", he smiled. "I'd like that", Josh blushed.
"So what do you wanna do now? Wanna go somewhere else?" Tyler asked. "Maybe just back to the apartment? Will just be us and Snickers", Josh said. "Yeah, let's do that", Tyler smiled. "Since Luke and Steve aren't home and we have the place to ourselves, we might as well make use of that."
They got in the car and went back to the apartment. Snickers greeted them happily but seemed a little salty as she realized Steve wasn't with them, which made them laugh as they heard the complaining meow come from the kitty. "She loves Steve so much", Tyler chuckled. "I think she hated me for a while when I broke up with Steve. But she seems to tolerate me again", he giggled.
"She probably just missed you a lot", Josh smiled. "I hope so", Tyler replied. He used the remote to use the balcony cover, and as it slid open Tyler opened the doors. "Now we won't get wet if we sit outside", he said. The couch had been undercover already, but not in the usual spot it was in, so he pushed it to the usual spot by the fireplace table.
Tyler plopped down on the couch and he reached out for Josh, pulling at his arm. Josh stumbled and plopped down too, more because he lost his balance and he kind of fell against Tyler, blushing softly as he landed. "Sorry", he said. "Nah, that was on me", Tyler chuckled. He wrapped his arm around Josh and he kissed his forehead. "I wish I didn't have to miss you in a few days", he said as he grabbed Josh's legs and he positioned them over his own lap. He then lit a cigarette and with his free hand, he intertwined his fingers with Josh's.
"I wish I could stay too", Josh softly said. "But I can't avoid my regular boring life forever", he chuckled. "I have to work again, see my family again, try and be a responsible and successful adult... I'm really dreading it", Josh said. "I love my family but the situation I'm in right now... It's better than being in college but it still kind of sucks", Josh said. "I just... really do not like LA. I know it sounds emo and pop punk when I say this but I really wish I could just leave LA", he chuckled. "Ah, the famous leave-your-hometown-behind", Tyler chuckled. "Exactly", Josh hummed.
"I'm sorry you have to live in a place that you dislike, J", Tyler said. "For me it's the opposite... I feel like I never wanna leave Columbus, where I grew up, while you wanna leave the place you grew up in really badly... I can't imagine that", he said. "Maybe you should move here too", he chuckled. Josh did too as he watched Tyler take a drag from his cigarette. "Maybe Colin and Michelle will adopt me so I can live with them." "That's Columbus too right? I'll absolutely support it", Tyler hummed. "Maybe I can blackmail them so they'll adopt you", Tyler grinned. "Sounds like the best plan", Josh laughed.
Tyler sighed softly as he let go of Josh's hand. Instead, he wrapped his arm around his neck as he pulled him closer and he slid his fingers into Josh's curls, gently moving them against his scalp. It gave Josh goosebumps in the best way. "It'd be something else, J, if you'd live in Columbus too", Tyler said. "Don'tthink you'd ever spend a day without me if I'm not on tour 'cause I'm so bad at being alone, I'd just bother you all day", he chuckled. "Maybe you can come work for me as my emotional support person", he joked. "I'd take the job right away", Josh laughed, and Tyler did too. His hand that held the cigarette rested on Josh's thigh, and it made his mind wander to the nights they spent together, how Tyler would squeeze Josh's thighs and kiss them and bite them. It made Josh blush so badly and he shifted in his seat a little, accidentally rubbing his leg against Tyler's crotch as he did. "Oh s-sorry", Josh blushed even deeper. "You're good", Tyler replied, lifting his hand up to take a drag from his cigarette.
Josh sighed softly. Man, he was so in love with Tyler. He never wanted to leave but maybe it was good that Josh had to leave in a few days. Then he'd be able to distance himself emotionally a little bit from Tyler. He wouldn't stop talking to him, or texting him, at all. He'd never. But maybe he could detach his heart from Tyler a little bit, so he wasn't so pathetically deeply in love with Tyler. Maybe he could then focus on just being Tyler's friend, the way Tyler wanted and expected them to be.
Maybe.
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Ohhh man oh man
Tyler convinced Josh to have him for one more dayyyyy
What did you think? I'd love to hear! Excited for these next two days but also looking forward to Josh going back home so we can progress the story a bit quicker and have some more stuff happening again haha. I'll have some more time to write today so I'm definitely gonna use that!!
Thank you for being here and for sharing your thoughts with me & to anyone who hasn't gotten their tickets yet if they're trying to get them; good luck tomorrow, I hope you'll get what you need 🫶🏻🤞🏻
I'll see you next week again with the next chapter!! All my love! ♥️