tw:// suicide
"OH MY GOD. JAMES? BABY WAKE UP!" i heard his mom yell over the phone after i heard it drop to the floor.
"JOHN!!!!" she screamed for her husband, james' dad.
"what's going on????" he asked as i heard him run into the room.
"CALL 911" i heard grace, james' mom, yell.
"miss grace???? what's going on??" i asked.
"y/n... he's gone. he hung himself." she said through a choked sob. i stood there. i felt like i couldn't breathe. then the call hung up.
i fell to the ground and started sobbing and hyperventilating. i used all my strength to grab my phone to calm my mom.
"hey y/n it's jack your mom is recording right now." he said.
"mom?" i said through a sob. my ears were ringing i didn't know who was talking to me right now
"no it's jack are you okay y/n why are you crying?" he asked.
"I NEED MY MOM" i said.
"tay.. it's serious it's y/n" i heard jack say quietly over the phone.
"y/n?" i heard mom say.
"MOMMY?" i said through a loud sob.
"y/n what happens what's wrong?!" she asked panicked.
"it's james" i said.
"y/n. breathe. what happened" she said softly.
"he's gone... he hung himself" i said.
"oh my god y/n i'm on my way" mom said.
taylor's pov
after i heard y/n say that i felt frozen in place. i told her i would be there soon and hung up the phone. i stood there in shock. i know how close james and y/n had gotten.
"everything okay tay?" jack asked.
"no. no i need to go. i'm sorry" i said.
"oh okay..." he said.
i quickly gathered my stuff and ran out the door. i didn't care abt paps right now i needed to get home to y/n.
"where to mrs kelce?" greg asked.
"home now please hurry!" she said.
"of course" he said..
the drive felt forever but as soon as the car pulled into the driveway i quickly bolted out the car into the house. i followed y/ns loud sobs and found her on the floor crying.
your pov
i heard the door open and slam closed and then the running of my mom. as soon as she saw me she scooped me up and held me. she held me as i sobbed. she was my shoulder to cry on. i've never felt this much pain emotionally before.
"shh it's okay baby. i'm so sorry" my mom said as she cooed and comforted me.
"but it's not okay mom. he's gone" i said though sobs and hiccups.
"i know baby i know it's okay"
i cried in my moms arms for a good two hours until i retreated to my room when my mom got a call from james' mom.
i grabbed my guitar and sat on my bed and began writing a song called forever winter.
a month later.
it was james' funeral today and i was gonna sing the song i wrote for james.
i sat down in front of everyone with my guitar.
"so um. james was my best friend. we did everything together. he was always there for me and i was there for him." i said as i felt a tear escape my eye.
"so um this is a song i wrote the day i found out that james had passed on. i can't promise it will be good but i will try my best..." i said.
i started strumming the chords on my guitar and started singing.
He says he doesn't believe anything much he hears these days
He says, "Why fall in love, just so you can watch it go away?"
He spends most of his nights wishing it was how it used to be
He spends most of his flights getting pulled down by gravity
I call just checkin' up on him
He's up, 3 AM pacin'
He says, "It's not just a phase I'm in"
My voice comes out beggin'
All this time I didn't know
You were breakin' down
I'd fall to pieces on the floor
If you weren't around
Too young to know it gets better
I'll be summer sun for you forever
Forever winter if you go
He seems fine most of the time, forcing smiles and neverminds
His laugh is a symphony, when the lights go out, it's hard to breathe
I pull at every thread, tryna solve the puzzles in his head
Live my life scared to death he'll decide to leave instead
I call just checkin' up on him
He's up, 5 AM wasted
Long gone, not even listening
My voice comes out screamin'
All this time I didn't know
You were breakin' down
I'd fall to pieces on the floor
If you weren't around
Too young to know it gets better
I'll be summer sun for you forever
Forever winter if you go
If I was standin' there in your apartment
I'd take that bomb in your head and disarm it
I'd say I love you even at your darkest
And please don't go
I didn't know
You were breakin' down
I'd fall to pieces on the floor
If you weren't around
Too young to know it gets better
I'll be summer sun for you forever
Forever winter if you go
I'll be your summer sun forever
At 3 AM pacin'
All this time I didn't know
At 5 AM wasted
I'd be in pieces on the floor
Forever winter if you go
He says he doesn't believe anything much he hears these days
I say, "Believe in one thing, I won't go away"
once i finish singing i hide my face in my hands and start breaking down. there was not a single dry eye. people were clapping for me. then i felt a pair of arms wrap around me but when i looked up no one was there. it was james. this song meant so much to him.
i don't know how im going to live without him