ik the timeline doesn't match up but pretend it does. also pretend that y/n wrote forever winter
tw//: mentions on suicide
your age: 14
your pov
i was sitting at lunch with my friends when i noticed a boy sitting by himself. my mom always said to sit with others who sat alone because she faced it when she was a kid and it wasn't fun.
"hey guys?" i asked
"yeah?" one of my friends answered.
"you see that boy sitting by himself?" i asked.
"oh james? he's weird he always sits by himself." my other friend said.
"oh. well i'm going to go sit with him" i said as i got up. my friend grabbed my arm
"y/n no! he's weird. people will make fun of you too!" my friend whisper yelled.
"well i guess i'll just be made fun of then" i said as i escaped her grip. i walked over to the table james was sitting at.
"hey! can i sit here?" i asked
"umm i guess if you want" he answered
"great!" i said as i sat my lunchbox down at the table. i sat across from him.
"soooo why are you sitting by yourself?" i asked.
"if you're here to make fun of me please just go" he said keeping his gaze low.
"i'm not here to make fun of you james. i felt bad you were sitting by yourself.." i answered.
"you know my name?" he asked.
"well duh" i answered giggly. he moved his gaze up towards me and his eyes went big.
"what? what's wrong?! is there something on my face???" i asked panicked. he laughed at me.
"no there's not chill out i just didn't expect taylor swift and travis kelce's daughter to sit with me at lunch" he said.
"oh..." i answered.
"not that it's a bad thing..." he said.
"okay!" i answered. james and i talked all lunch and he's a pretty cool dude. he has light brown hair, green eyes, and has the cutest smile. i don't know why people make fun of him. he is GORGEOUS. i think i might have a little crush on him.
two weeks later
on facetime.
"hey james" i said
"hey y/n" he said.
"how are you?" i asked.
"i could be better" he said with a sigh
"oh what's wrong?" i asked.
"nothing i just haven't really been myself lately. i've been at this school for almost a month and people still make fun of me." he said.
"i'm sorry james i really wish i could do more to stop it" i said truthfully
"it's fine. plus i don't really believe much what i hear people say" he said.
"oh.." i answered.
"let's talk about something else. do you like anyone y/n?" he asked
"yeah i do. do you?" i asked.
"no i dont. at least not that the moment" he said.
"oh why?" i asked
"why fall in love just so you can watch it go away?" he said.
"true" i said.
"hey y/n um i gotta go" he said.
"alright. see you tomorrow??" i asked.
"sure" he said.
after i hung up with james i went downstairs for dinner.
"nice of to finally join us y/n" my mom said jokingly.
"sorry" i said as i sat down.
"so how was school?" dad asked.
"it was okay i guess." i answered.
"did you learn anything?" my mom asked.
"no" i answered. my mom and dad laughed and i just shrugged my shoulders.
a few weeks later
i haven't seen or talked to james ever since i last called him. he hasn't been at school and he hasn't been answering my calls or texts and i'm really worried about him. i think the bullies at school are really getting to him.
it was now 3am and i laid wide awake in my bed. i can't stop thinking about james. i decided to give it one last try and picked up my phone to call james. he answered.
"james?" i said.
"y/n?" he said.
"yeah it's me. are you okay? i haven't seen or talked to you in ages. you're worrying me" i said.
"yeah i'm fine." he said emotionless.
"james are you walking around?" i asked. it was 3am why in the world was he pacing around his room.
"i'm just... i don't know" he said.
"james you know you can talk to me. i'm here for you." i said.
"everything's wrong y/n. it's not just a phase i'm in." he said.
"james are you okay?" i asked.
"i just. i don't know what's wrong with me y/n"
"come over in the morning." i said.
"okay" he said.
10am
"y/n!! james is here!" i heard my mom yell. then my door opens and there stands james. i invite him and we just talk. then my mom comes up to my room.
"do you guys want to go to the mall or something? i need to go shopping." my mom said.
"sure" i said.
while we were at the mall james has been a totally different person since the phone call. he's smiling, laughing, but i can tell he's hiding behind it. i've known him long enough. i can read him like an open book.
after shopping for a few hours we drop him back at his house and me and my mom head home.
"he's a nice kid" my mom said.
"yeah.." i said.
"what's wrong baby?" she asked
"i don't know i'm just worried about him." i said. "he just seems off. he missed the last few months of school. i think it was because of the bullies at school. i just worry they are getting to him. i try all i can to stop him from getting made fun of but as hard as i try they still do it" i said.
"hey it's gonna be okay y/n" mom said. was it?
a month later.
"hey james i'm just sending you this voicemail because i'm worried about you. you haven't been answering my calls or text for the last month so i just wanted to know if you're okay... please—please call me back." i said as i left a message before i fell asleep.
then i'm woken up from my slumber to my phone ringing. i look over at my phone and it's 5am. it's james.
"james?!" i said groggily
"sorry did i wake you up?" he asked
"no no no you're all good i've been up" i lied
"oh okay. well i'm sorry i haven't been answering. i've just been really down lately." he said.
"do you wanna talk about it?" i asked.
"i don't want to be a burden.." he said.
"i promise you will never be a burden james" i said.
"ok well i guess ive just been really depressed lately. the guys bullying me make me feel ashamed of myself. and i really don't think i can do it anymore y/n." he said
"what do you mean james? you're scaring me." i said slowly.
"honestly y/n i really wish i could just be gone." he said. my heart shattered.
"james don't say that please. i don't know if this will help but i'd go to your house and take the bomb in your head and disarm it. i'd say i love you even if your in your darkest times." i say. james is just silent.
"james? are you there?" i asked.
"i love you too y/n. please don't ever forget it. this is not your fault and i never want you to think it was. i'm making this decision on my own..." he says. then he hung up.
"james?!!!" i say frantically taking the phone from my ear. no no no no no i thought to myself. i try to call him again but it just goes to voicemail. shit.
i quickly jump out of my bed and run to my parents room. they weren't in there. where the hell were they??? i run downstairs to the kitchen and see a note in the counter saying that mom went to the studio and dad had training camp.
i tried calling james again but still no answer. i go to dial his moms number and she answers.
"y/n? why are you calling me this early is everything okay?" she asked.
"i'm sorry to wake you up this early but please go check on james. he called me a little while ago and he was saying stuff like he loved me and that it's not my fault and that it was his own decision to do it. please go check on him. i need to know he's okay" i said crying.
"what!?" his mom said. i heard her covers rustle and her running down the hallway to his room.
"OH MY GOD. JAMES?! BABY WAKE UP!" i heard her yell. i stood there in shock there is not real. i'm not choosing to believe it.
writing part 2 now. i split it into 2 parts bc i just didn't want one continuous long story bc i was already up to 1.5k words