He groaned, flipping over in bed for what had to be the hundredth time before reaching for his phone and sighing at the time. He'd been tossing and turning for hours, and now at three in the morning, it felt almost useless. He had to be up at five anyway to get himself and Nugget ready to head over to the fair. He really wasn't sure why he'd signed up to show one of the chickens, but when Larry handed him the flier for the event, he decided it was worth a shot. It wasn't like he really had anything else to do.
He'd never fully planned on owning any type of animal when he moved into his house, but the former owners had left their chicken coop in the backyard when they moved out. He was originally going to just destroy it, but the husband had told him when they closed that he'd built it from scratch. Despite not having a use for it, he just couldn't bring himself to take down something that someone had worked so hard on. Instead, he got himself into gardening, and when he was able to keep the crops alive, he decided to bring home three fertilized eggs to try and incubate.
He watched over those three precious eggs like they were real children, constantly hovering and making sure the incubator was at the right temperature. He set up a webcam to watch them when he had to leave, in case something happened and he needed to rush home. He made sure to turn them often, candling them at the correct intervals to make sure they were developing correctly. He never thought he could care about something as deeply as he cared about those three eggs, finally helping him find a new purpose in life.
And when they finally hatched, he cried, though he would never openly admit it to anyone.
Nugget had hatched first, Keigo just managing to catch it on the camera as he rushed home from the grocery store in a panic, leaving behind his entire cart in the middle of the aisle. She was fully out by the time he got there, her feathers still wet and stuck against her tiny body as she adjusted to life on the outside of her shell. Keigo watched in wonder, totally entranced by the little being as she chirped and trilled. Before long, Tender and Oscar had joined her, and Keigo was absolutely in love from the start.
Nugget's feathers ended up being a brilliant shade of yellow, puffed up and fluffy like a small cotton ball, turning into a more golden color as she matured. Tender, in contrast, was a mixture of fawn brown and white. She was softer than Nugget and certainly far more graceful. Oscar ended up being a sleek black and white pattern with long and beautiful tail feathers. His coloring added a striking contrast to his little trio, perfectly completing his little flock. He was by far the most stubborn of the three, and if Keigo was honest, he was definitely not the smartest.
He spent the next few weeks keeping them happy and fed, making sure they were kept under a heating lamp, cuddling them all as often as possible. He even kept them in a large pen in his bedroom, in case anything happened at night, he was close by, and after a few weeks, he was finally able to figure out that he had two hens and a rooster, the perfect combination.
It was hard to say goodbye, but eventually, they outgrew the pen in his room, waking him up several times after getting out and pecking him half to death for more food. It was finally time to put them into the coop. It had been hard, and he would be lying if he said he didn't spend half the night pacing the house and peeking out the window to make sure they were okay.
It was an adjustment for sure, but in the end, they were happy out there, and he even had a doggy door installed that allowed them to come and go from the house as they pleased.
Nugget was really the only one who used it, coming and going as she pleased during the day. Sometimes he would fall asleep on the sofa and wake up to her nestled against his chest, fast asleep with him. She was a little bit of a daddy's girl, which is probably why he'd decided to pick her to show, though Tender was the prettier of the two girls.
All in all, they were like his second family, as weird as people would probably find that, and he wasn't totally sure what he would do if something ever happened to them.
He let out another sigh as he eyed the red missed message notification bubble glaring at him. So far, he had ten missed messages, all from Anthony in the last week. He had been trying to get a hold of him since their evening at the bar, probably worried about his quick exit that night after he learned about Luke. He had been so messed up, so ready to relapse, that he'd decided to call it a night and rush home to attend a virtual meeting.
He'd quickly emptied his wallet, paying both their tabs and giving the rest to Larry to replace the mirror in the bathroom before dashing out without even really saying goodbye.
He was being rude, he knew it. Anthony had done nothing but offer him friendship and kindness, but how was he supposed to face them knowing that he could have possibly prevented their friend from dying? He would have to face them eventually, but he needed some time to process things, to think about the right way to explain who he really was before they figured it out on their own or even worse, them finding out from Ash.
So, opting to ignore his messages for now, he quickly hit his international texting app instead and sent a message to see if Tomi was busy. He still needed to find someone to talk to in America, but Tomi was the best he had for now. It was only midafternoon there, so with any luck, she was free and could talk things through with him.
Keigo: Hey, are you busy right now? Got time to talk?
Tomi: Nah, I am just getting ready to leave work for the day. It's early there though, isn't it? Something going on?
Keigo: Can I call?
Her name lit up his screen in an instant, making him smile. The next time he managed to see her in person, he owed her something huge because she never failed him when he needed her.
"What's going on with you now?" she asked, the amusement in her voice obvious as she spoke to him. "Has to be something big for you to be awake at three in the morning."
"Well, I met this girl," he started, and he could hear Tomi let out a small squeal on the other end of the phone. What the hell?
"Oh Keigo! That is so amazing. There is nobody in the world who deserves it more than you."
"It's not that simple," he said sadly, frowning as he quickly recounted everything that had happened in the last few weeks. Everything just poured out like lava, from seeing her that night at the bar to everything that happened at the bonfire. He told her about Ash and his threat before explaining everything he had learned at the bar with Anthony, and when he finally got to Luke, he started to tear up without meaning to.
"Oh god Tomi, she's so fucking beautiful, but how the hell could I ever date her? Her husband died in the war. The war that we failed to prevent. What Ash said was tru-"
"Don't you dare finish that sentence!" Tomi said quickly, cutting him off. "I don't know how many times I have to tell you that the war was not your fault. The responsibilities for the things that happened and the people who died are not on your shoulders Keigo. It was a shitty situation, a tragedy, but you did great things during it. You nearly died twice for God's sake! I really think you need to find someone and work through those issues because carrying this around is not productive to your mental health or your sobriety."
"Look," she continued, taking a deep breath before letting out a sad sigh. "I'm not a therapist, so I'm not sure if what I tell you will help, but I think you should just try and relax a bit. So one asshole made a big deal about you being Hawks and knows about your addiction, but why do you care? You improved yourself, you got clean, those are things to be proud of. You deserve the chance to be happy, and I think you should give it a shot. After all, the only person whose opinion matters is your own, and if you tell her the truth and she can't accept you for who you are now, then she doesn't deserve you. It would be her loss because you're an amazing person."
"You really think it's that simple?" he asked her, unable to stop the small flicker of hope her words gave him.
"I know so," she replied confidently with a small chuckle. "You really should try and get a couple more hours of sleep though. You'll need it if you want to be ready to show Nugget off to the world! Make sure you send me lots of pictures."
And with that, they said their goodbyes, hanging up as Keigo rolled onto his back to stare at the ceiling. Tomi had made some valid points; maybe it was time to finally talk to someone again about everything he was feeling. He had done therapy when he was in rehab, but since he'd moved to America, he'd just been dealing with things as they came. He still took his anxiety medication, but that didn't even seem to be enough anymore.
Maybe it was worth giving it a shot, seeing if maybe they could be together. The worst thing that could happen would be her saying no. He wasn't the only person who had been in the war; it wasn't directly his fault that her husband hadn't made it back. Anthony said she was interested in him; it would be rude not to give it a shot, right?
He spent the next hour and a half going back and forth on the right choice, when his alarm finally went off, signaling that it was time to get up and start getting ready to get down to the fair. He groaned as he pushed himself out of bed, feeling utterly exhausted already. Once he and Nugget got home that evening, he was taking a nap for sure.
He spent the rest of the morning going through his normal routine. He took a shower, making sure to apply his ointment and lotion on his scar carefully after he was dry. He honestly wished he had help with his back; he never felt like he was able to get it covered completely. He got himself dressed quickly, opting for his favorite flannel, a tighter pair of jeans, and his boots before reaching for the cowboy hat he only wore on rare occasions. Today certainly felt like one of the days to wear it.
He then made himself a small breakfast, quickly eating despite the nerves he was carrying for the day threatening to turn his stomach, before heading out to take care of the coop. It was a nice day, already warm with the sky a beautiful clear blue. What better weather for the first day of the County Fair? He could hear his neighbors already getting their weekends started, sounds of lawnmowers and such filling the late summer air.
He opened the doors of the coop, smiling as Nugget quickly rushed out in a flurry of golden feathers before stretching her wings and giving them a large flap. Oscar was quick to follow, chasing after Nugget like his life depended on it. He chuckled at their antics, rolling his eyes as he watched Oscar trying to impress Nugget by spreading his own wings, puffing himself up so he appeared larger and stomping his little feet. Nugget clucked at him, scratching her own foot in the dirt before quickly trotting away seemingly unimpressed.
"I had a bird quirk long enough to know you're never gonna succeed there, Buddy. Besides," he said with a chuckle as Oscar flapped his wings at Nugget's retreating back, "We all know Tender's your girl. Take what you can get, greedy boy."
He frowned as he waited for Tender before letting out a large sigh. She must be brooding on a clutch of eggs again. He moved to the back, quickly unhooking the small latch and opening the door to the brooding boxes. Tender stared at him, seemingly offended at his intrusion before tilting her head.
"You can't keep them," he warned her, unable to stop his smile. "But I'd rather not risk my hands before the show so I'll grab them from you tonight when I get back." He quickly reclosed the door before looking towards Nugget with a sigh. He needed to get her loaded into the crate so they could head down to the fairgrounds, but lord he could only imagine how difficult she was going to make it.
An hour and a half later, he had her caged successfully on the front seat of his truck, his hands wrapped in white bandages as he glared down at her angrily. So much for saving his hands before the show; in fact, he was almost certain it would've been less painful taking the eggs from Tender. Nugget let out a small chirp of agitation, shuffling herself in the tiny enclosure before shooting him a dirt glare of her own.
"You're a real piece of work sometimes, I swear," he grumbled as he turned the key in the ignition, the engine rumbling to life before he let out a small sigh. "I love you anyway, though."
He managed to get them to the fairground without any issue, checking them in and getting her cage set up on the table. He glanced around at the other chickens that people had already brought and dropped off, admiring the different shades of plumage around them. They were all certainly pretty, but nobody was as good as Nugget, though he was biased there for sure. He had been told he could just leave her, but he couldn't bring himself to. What if something happened and he wasn't there to stop it?
"Keigo!" A voice sliced through the barn, the birds letting out small squawks and trills at the sudden sound. Keigo frowned, glancing away from Nugget to find the source of the voice, grimacing when he finally found it.
Anthony was waving at him like a madman, Y/N peeking out from behind him shyly. He could feel himself starting to panic; he hadn't considered the fact they would be at something like this, and despite his conversation with Tomi, he wasn't sure if he was ready to face everything already. Though as they approached him, it was obvious he didn't really have a choice in the matter.
"Where the hell have ya been?" Anthony said once they reached him, roughly clasping his shoulder as he shot him a smile. "I tried reaching out after everything at the bar, but I guess ya were busy."
"Yeah," was all he managed to get out, his gaze traveling over to Y/N before he could even stop it. He smiled at her, his heart thumping as she gave him a shy smile and a wave.
"Hi Keigo," she said before peering behind him, her smile erupting as she laid eyes on Nugget. She quickly pushed past him, leaning towards Nugget's cage with wide eyes. "Oh wow! Is that a Buff Rock chicken? She's fuckin' gorgeous!"
"Oh, uh, I do not really know the breed," Keigo admitted, rubbing the back of his head awkwardly and trying to ignore the grin Anthony gave him before motioning him to talk to her again. He shot him a stern glare before turning and leaning down towards Nugget beside her. His body was buzzing from the proximity, his heart pounding as his senses were flooded with her perfume.
Fuck, he really needed to buy roses for his kitchen or something. She smelled so fucking amazing.
"Her name is Nugget," he said, reaching a finger in to stroke her head gently as he smiled. "I hatched her myself from the egg. They did not tell me the breed when I bought them."
"Oh, ya have more?" She asked, turning to look at him in interest, her smile still wide. "I love animals. I've got some chickens myself and a couple of horses–"
"Maybe he could go meet them later. I'm sure Loki could use the company," Anthony said with a smirk as she turned to give him a playful glare in response.
"The last thing he needs is another damn target," she said, the corners of her lip twitching up into a smile before she turned back to Keigo. "So is this your first time at the fair? Don't remember seein' ya here last time."
"Oh, uh, yes." He replied, frowning slightly. "I am not big on going out and being around large groups, but I thought this would be nice. Pushing myself out of my comfort zone and–"
"Perfect! Ya already signed up and everythin'? If you are, we should definitely go look around, maybe ride the Ferris wheel and then tonight we can go up to Y/N's and ya can meet the horses!"
"Anthony–" Y/N started, but her protests were swiftly cut off with a wave of Anthony's hand.
"Oh come on, it'll be nice. We can throw some wood in the fire pit, work on facin' our fears together. Have a couple cold ones, get to know each other more, it'll be nice."
Y/N let out a sigh before giving Keigo a small sigh and shrugging her shoulders in defeat. "I guess that's fine with me, as long as you're okay with it?"
"Oh," Keigo said nervously, standing back up and fidgeting with his hands slightly. "I do not think that would be a good idea. I should not leave Nugget; what if something happened while I was gone?"
"Oh don't ya getta worryin' about a thing. She'll be fine!" Anthony said cheerily. Instead he grabbed Keigo's arm, tugging him away from Nugget and towards the barn doors. "It's time for you to have some fun!"
"I really do not think-"
"I promise ya, she'll be fine. There are people here watchin' her," Anthony said, cutting him off and glancing in Y/N's direction with a smile. Keigo couldn't help but notice the uneasy expression on her face as she trailed behind them. Was she nervous about something or was it just because she was being forced to hang out with him?
"Come on, let's go get in line for the Ferris wheel. Nothing beats a bird's eye view!" Anthony said, and Y/N let out a small groan in response. He, however, nearly choked on his spit at Anthony's words, his heart aching slightly.
He knew that statement to be the truth, more than anyone would ever realize, but despite his sadness, he couldn't help but be somewhat excited. He'd get to be in the air again, at least a little bit; he'd really missed the wind on his face.
With one last unsure glance at Nugget safely tucked into her small cage, he turned towards Anthony with a smile. He would only be gone for a little while, and it would be nice to get to spend more time with Y/N too.
"Alright. Fun it is then." He nodded at them with a smile, and that was all Anthony needed to finally tug him out of the barn and into the crowd outside.