Tall Tales
(Sam's Version)
Sam pried the window to the coroner's office open. The room was dark as they each crawled through the window and landed on the floor.
Dean crossed the room, opening the door to the freezer tray where the dead man was. "This oughta be quick." He pulled the tray out, lifting the sheet.
All that was left was half of the mans shin and his shoe covered foot. One mangled arm and another chunk of...something that none wanted to identify. Blood covered the little remaining body that there was.
All four collectively groan.
"Okay, that is just nasty." Dean says.
"Uh, yeah." Sam agreed. "Mutilated. Looks to me like something was hungry."
"I hate your job." Millie told them.
"We hate it sometimes too." Saige replied.
"They identify him yet?" Dean placed a hand on Saige's waist.
"Yeah, A research scientist from the college." Sam answered. "Guess where his office was, by the way."
"Hmm?"
"Crawford Hall, same as the professor."
"That's right where the frat boy had his first encounter." Dean stated.
"Yeah. Hey, grab me that thing, would you?" Sam pointed to the circle light with a magnifying glass in the middle.
Dean rolled it toward Sam. He clicked it on, peering down at the leg.
"What is it?" Dean asked.
"Looks like a...A belly scale?" Sam said.
"A belly scale? From what?"
"Something with a scaled belly." Saige shrugged.
"Uh...an alligator?" Sam suggested.
"An alligator in the sewer? Come on." Dean says.
"What? Well, Dean, it's A classic urban legend. A kid flushes a baby gator down the toilet and it grows huge in the tunnels."
"See, when you say a baby gator it sounds just adorable." Saige says.
"Right?" Millie agreed.
"Yeah, but no one's really ever found one. They're not real." Dean stated.
"Wow, sewer gators aren't real."
"Well, neither is alien abduction but something chomped on this guy." Sam stated.
"This can't get any weirder." Dean says.
"Maybe we should get some help. I'll call Bobby. Maybe he's run across something like this before."
"Oh, I'm sure he has. Just your typical haunted-campus, alien-abduction, alligator-in-the-sewer gig." Dean remarked. "Yeah, its simple."
"We decided to search the sewer anyway." Sam told Bobby.
"Which was the worst two hours of my life." Millie added.
Dean and I share a look.
We did search the sewer...
At one point.
"So we split up, each taking one end of the campus. Millie and I searched while Dean and Saige went together." Sam continued.
"You find anything?" Bobby asked.
"I found something. Just not in the sewer." Dean answered.
(Dean's Version)
After Dean and Saige had snuck off into an empty office on campus to...have some fun, as Saige puts it, they got back to work, checking the sewer system which they were supposed to do an hour ago.
But before they did that, as they were getting dressed, Saige noticed her bra has went missing. She assumed Dean had stuffed in his jacket to mess with her but he swore he hadn't.
She didn't believe him.
So after searching the sewer, the two headed back to the motel. Saige pulled her jacket around her, trying to hide the fact that she was walking down the street without a bra. Her and Dean had argued the entire hour they were sewer searching but he stuck with his story of he didn't have it.
As the two round the corner to the alleyway where the Impala was parked, Dean stopped. "Son of a bitch!"
The tires were completely flat, all four.
"Somebody's gonna be in trouble." Saige sang, nudging Dean's side.
"This is serious, Saige." Dean said.
"Yes, yes, you're right. Our car is damaged."
Dean moved toward his car, kneeling down once spotting a money clip full of cash by a tire.
The initials S.W. were engraved on it.
Sam.
"Sam!"
___
Dean slammed the motel door shut behind him, making Sam and Millie look up from their spots on the couch and armchair.
"You think this is funny?" Dean asked, walking toward his brother.
Saige peeled off her jacket. "Somebody's dying tonight."
"It depends, what?" Sam replied.
Dean mocked Sam incoherently. "The car."
"What about the car?"
"Oh, this should be good." Millie laughed.
"You were with him. You're also in trouble." Saige warned.
"You can't let the air out of the tires, you idiot!. You're gonna bend the rims!" Dean snapped.
Sam snapped the book he held shut. "Whoa, wait a minute. I didn't go near your car."
"Oh, yeah? Huh? Then how'd I find this?" Dean pulled the money clip from his pocket.
Sam stood, patting his pockets. "Hey, give me back my money."
"Oh, no. No." Dean chuckled. "Consider it reparations for, uh, emotional trauma." He walked toward the bed.
"Yeah, very funny. Now give it back." Sam followed.
At this point, Saige had her back turned as she grabbed A water bottle from the fridge. Later, she would swear this is when Dean hid her bra from her.
She still hasn't found it.
"No." Dean said, taking off his jacket.
"Dean, I have had it up to here with you." Sam held up his hand.
"Yeah. Right back at you."
"Saige, you're missing the bitch fight." Millie laughed.
Saige sat down beside her. "Somebody's walking away with a black eye."
Sam grabbed for his money, but Dean moved his arm away. Sam scoffed, grabbing again.
Dean shoved his chest, gripping the money in hand.
Sam tackled Dean. They both landed in the bed.
"Well, this isn't what I was expecting." Millie muttered.
"God, get off me." Dean hissed as he tried to squirm out of Sam's grip, his shirt riding up.
Saige was quite enjoying this view.
"Give it back!" Sam demanded.
Sam wrapped an arm around Dean's neck as they tumbled off the edge of the bed and hit the floor.
Saige and Millie laughed at them.
"Okay, I've heard enough." Bobby said.
"Anyway, you showed up about an hour after that. Saige lost a few more things, but it was basically peaceful." Dean shrugged.
"Basically peaceful?" I echoed. "Sure."
"I'm surprised at you four. I really am." Bobby said.
None of us met his eyes. I think we were all pretty ashamed of the story we just told. It didn't really paint any of us in a good light.
Though some of it was funny.
But Bobby's disappointment in us hurt.
"Sam, first off, Dean did not steal your computer. He didn't steal a bra. He didn't steal anything." Bobby stated.
"But--I---There's--" Sam and I both stuttered out, trying to make a point I guess.
"Shh." Bobby said.
We went quiet.
"And, Dean, Sam did not touch your car." Bobby explained.
"Yeah." Sam scoffed.
"If you four bothered to pull your heads out of your asses, it all would've been pretty clear." Bobby stated.
We all shared a look.
"It would?" I asked.
"What would?" Dean asked.
"What you're dealing with." Bobby said.
We all went quiet again.
"Uh..." Sam trailed off.
"I got nothing." Dean said.
"Yeah, I don't either." I added.
"I'm new at this." Millie shrugged.
"I also don't have anything." Sam admitted.
"You got a trickster on your hands." Bobby told us.
Dean snapped his fingers, pointing at Bobby. "That's what I thought."
"What? No, you didn't--" Sam began.
"Well, I gotta tell you...you guys were the biggest clue." Bobby say."
"What do you mean?" Sam asked.
"These things create mischief and chaos as easy as breathing." Bobby began.
"Oh my God, Deans also a trickster." I feigned shock.
"Suck it, Blondie." Dean glared at me.
"She does." Millie whispered under her breath.
"Millie!" I hissed, A blush rising to my face as Dean and Sam laughed.
I feel personally targeted and violated.
"Shut up, all of you." Bobby told us. "You just made my point. Its got you so turned around and at each other's throats, you can't even think straight."
"The laptop." Sam said.
"The tires." Dean realized.
"Everything I'm missing." I mumbled.
"It knows your onto him. And its been playing you like fiddles." Bobby stated.
"So what is it? Spirit, demon, what?" Dean asked, setting a hand in my leg under the table.
I hit his hand.
"Well, more like demigods, really." Bobby began. "There's Loki in Scandinavia. There's Anansi in West Africa. Dozens of them. They're immortal and can create things out of thin air. Things as real as you and me. Make 'em vanish just as quick."
"You mean like an angry spirit, or and alien, or a alligator." Dean nodded along.
"The victims for the m.o. too. Tricksters target the high and mighty. Knock 'em down a peg, usually with a sense of humor. Deadly pranks, things like that."
"Bobby, what do these things look like?"
"Lots if things, but human mostly."
Dean turned to us. "And what human do we know who's been AR ground zero this whole time?"
The janitor.
___
"Sorry I'm dragging a little ass today." The janitor/trickster said as he locked the door to the closet before leading us away and up the stairs. "I had quite the night last night. Lots of sex, if you catch my drift."
Dean's hand was on my waist as we walked up the stairs. "Yeah, hard not too." He winked at me. We had quite the night ourselves. "Listen, we won't be long. We just need to check a couple offices up on three." Dean gestured for Sam to head back down the stairs since the tricksters back was turned.
"No problem." Janitor/Trickster says.
"Oh, damn. I forgot something in the truck." Sam said, making us all stop. "You know what? I'll catch up with you guys."
"Okay." Dean nodded his head.
___
"Just because he reads Weekly World News doesn't mean he's our guy." Sam stated as we walked out of the building. "I mean, you read it too."
"I'm telling you, it's him." Dean insisted.
"I just think we need some hard proof, that's all."
"Okay, another one Bobby mentioned was these suckers have the metabolism of an insect. All right, A real sweet tooth."
"I didn't find any candy bars or sugar. Not even Equal."
"It's probably cause you missed something." Dean said.
"I don't miss things."
"Can we, like, not argue?" I asked.
"Oh, right because you're Mr. Perfect." Dean said sarcastically.
"What?" Sam asked. "Are you still pissed at me because of what the trickster did."
"Oh, come on, man. You've been a tight ass since long before the trickster showed up."
"Okay, well, let's not feed into this." I laughed a little. "Sound good."
"Says the biggest asshole ever." Millie remarks, eyes
"Look, you just stay here keep and eye on the janitor." Sam says. "Millie and I will go see if we can find any actual evidence at his place before you go barging in staking the man. Saige can stay to babysit you, keep your tongue out of her throat and do your job. Just wait till we get back, okay?"
Dean rolled his eyes.
"Okay?"
"Okay." Dean caved.
"Well, that was fun." I said sarcastically.
___
"Dean?" I asked as I sat on the steps of Crawford Hall.
He stopped pacing, moving to sit next to me. "Yeah?"
I knew this wasn't part of the plan, but I wanted--needed--to talk. "Remember the binding link Sam had when he was possessed?"
"Yeah."
"And you know how it looks kind of like the stop on--"
"The inside of your right thigh, yeah." Dean nodded along, placing a hand on my knee. "What is it?"
"Do you think it could have...something to to with my visions or why I see the Shadow Lady or the Trench Coat Man?" I asked.
Dean sighed. "It could." He reached over, moving the fabric of my Jean shorts back a little to reveal the mark.
A circle with angled line emitting from one side and a star in the middle.
I wasn't sure what it could mean.
"Do you think...I'm bonded to something?" I rest my head on his shoulder.
"I don't know. But whatever it is, I won't let it hurt you. I won't let anything bad happen."
I smiled. "For a bra thief, you're pretty sweet sometimes."
Dean chuckled. "I try."
"I love you, Dean-o."
"I love you too, Si."
___
Dean was back to pacing. "Ah, screw this." He muttered, heading up the stairs and into the building. I quickly followed behind him. We wondered through the building in search of the trickster.
Eventually, Dean pulled a stake dipped in blood from his coat.
Dean grabbed my arm and pulled me to a stop suddenly.
"You hear that?" He asked.
I strain to hear. Distantly, Can't Get Enough Of Your Love by Barry White was playing. "So?" I asked.
A smirk formed on his face. He winked. "Well, we could...You know." He bumped his hip into mine.
"Would you believe me if I said I didn't get what you just said?"
"No."
"Well, then I'll just have to give you a rain check." I said. "Because its the middle of the night and the song is coming from a college auditorium. Either two kids are already... You know... In there or something weird is happening." I stated. "So I'm not having sex with you in an auditorium."
"Oh, come on." He complained, tucking the stake back in his jacket.
"Take me to a nice dinner and I might change my mind."
"Deal." Dean nodded.
We slipped through the doors.
On the stage was a large bed with a disco ball hanging over it. The music was louder now. Two women in black lace lingerie lay on said bed.
"See? Some people do have sex in auditoriums." Dean told me.
"If this doesn't scream trickster to you, I don't know what will." I shot back.
"Foursome?"
"No!" I smacked his arm.
"Ow." Dean muttered. "It was worth a shot."
I blinked. "No, it wasn't."
"Yeah, you're right."
"See? Now I might have sex with you."
"Really? Now?" Dean asked.
"No, not now!" I said.
As we walked down the stairs between the rows of chairs, I noticed the lava lamps and cocktail glasses on the tables beside the bed.
I feel dirty just being here.
Not the good kind of dirty either.
I've been around Dean too long.
"We've been waiting for you, Dean." One of the women says.
"You guys aren't real." Dean says.
"This might just be the worst day of my life." I sighed.
"Trust me, sugar, it's gonna feel real." The other woman said.
Dean let our a strangled sounding laugh.
I wasn't sure whether to laugh or gag.
Both seemed like a good option.
"Come on. Let us give you a massage." The blonde woman gestured for Dean to come closer.
Instead, he looked at me. "You never give me a massage."
"You are a dirty liar and you know it. I gave you a massage last night." I stated. "And then guess what happened? Oh, yeah, we didn't go to sleep until three in the morning because somebody couldn't keep his hands to himself."
"Oh, don't act like you didn't want to fool around. You groped me first!" Dean argued.
"Oh, yeah, right."
"You did."
I did.
But I'm not gonna admit that.
"You could've said no." Dean pointed out. "But you were just as willing."
One of the women clear her throat, making Dean and I look over.
"You know, I'm a sucker for a happy ending, really I am. But I'm gonna have to pass." Dean clapped his hands together.
"They're a peace offering." A voice said from behind us.
Dean and I turn around to see the trickster sitting in the second row of chairs. "I know what you and your brother do."
"This doesn't seem very peaceful to me." I stated. "In fact, I'm pretty stressed out."
"I've been around a while, run into your kind before." The trickster continued.
"Well then you know that I can't just let you keep hurting people." Dean said.
"Come on." The Trickster complained. "Those people got what was coming to them. Hoisted on their own petards. But you two and Sam, I like you. I do. So great yourself, as long as you want. Just long enough for me to move into the next town." He pulled out a candy bar.
"Yeah, I don't think I can do that." Dean said.
The trickster snapped his fingers. "Now?"
I felt cold suddenly. I looked down.
My clothes were gone and I was in lacy red lingerie that left almost nothing to the imagination.
I hate this guy.
"You look super hot, if it helps." Dean told me, looking me up and down with eyes that I knew meant he wanted nothing more than to...well, you know.
I know exactly what Dean would say but I'd rather not repeat that.
"Really love the color on you." Dean added.
"It does not." I said. "Can we kill him now?"
"Oh, right, right." Dean nodded.
"I don't wanna hurt you." The trickster stated. "And you know I can."
"Look, man, I gotta tell you, I dig your style. All right? I mean--I do. I mean, the slow dancing alien?" Dean says, laughing along with the trickster.
"One of my personal favorites." The trickster said through laughter.
"Yeah. But I can't let you go."
"I can make your girl and mine mud wrestle."
Dean looked as if this were the hardest decision he'd ever have to make. "Just one round, please? Then we'll kill him." He asked me.
"No." I told him, almost feeling guilty about telling him that.
Dean looked back at the trickster. "She said no."
"Too bad." The trickster sighed. "Like I said, I liked you. Sam was right. You shouldn't have come alone."
"Well, I'll agree with you there." Dean nodded.
Sam and Bobby walked in then, each with a blood covered stake in hand.
The trickster turned to look. "That fight you guys had outside, that was a trick?"
Dean shrugged, looking very proud of himself as he pulled his own stake out of his jacket.
"Hmm. Not bad. But you wanna see a real trick?"
A chainsaw wielding maniac appeared behind Sam.
I was tackled to the ground. The dark haired woman swung her fist, catching my jaw.
This is so not what I was expecting.
Out of the corner of my eye as I fought off this scantily clad woman, I saw the other throwing Dean across the room.
Man, this is weird.
I faintly heard the whirring of a chainsaw as I hit the woman who had tackled me.
I heard a crash.
Must've been Dean.
"Dean, Dean, Dean. I did not want to have to do this." The trickster said.
I looked just in time to see Sam toss Dean a stake. Dean stood, sounds around and stabbed the trickster in the chest.
The two hookers and the chainsaw wielding maniac slowly evaporated.
"You guys okay?" Dean asked as he helped me to my feet. "That was super hot, by the way."
"Thanks....?" I sighed.
"Well, I gotta say...he had style."
We then made our way out of the building and back toward the Impala.
"Bobby, thanks a lot. We couldn't have--" Sam began.
"Hey, save it." Bobby said. "Lets just get the hell out of dodge before somebody finds that body."
"Hey, looks, Dean, um...I just wanna say I'm... Um..." Sam began.
"Hey." Dean said. "Me too."
"Can we go? I'm practically naked." I said.
"You guys are braking my heart. Can we please just leave?" Bobby asked.
One thing I knew for sure was I never wanted to see another trickster again.
A/N: Hi, so just to let you guys know, I havent been getting all of your comments. Like I only get notifications for half of what you're commenting. I just wanted to let you know I'm not ignoring you, so I've been going through and trying to reply to some.
I can't believe I hadn't noticed.
Anyway, hope you enjoyed.