Louis' POV
It had been about half an hour since she came out from that room and freaked out. I'm not sure what it was or why she was so afraid. I had thought that my confession maybe had caused her to panic and maybe it did at the beginning but not after she stepped foot out from that door. She looked terrified, her whole body shaking non stop as if the room had dropped like thirty degrees in temperature or something. I didn't know what to do; I had never really been put in that situation before. I myself felt afraid that whatever action I would take, would just worsen the situation and fuck, I thought I was about to break down any fucking minute. I knew I had to help her, that I had to make sure that she was safe but I just. didn't. know. what. to. do.
I saw her lips moving the whole time, trying to tell me something and I feel so idiotic that I couldn't make it out at the time and when she fell to the floor all of a sudden, I just acted on my instincts. I hugged her and I hugged her tight. I wanted to conceal her, keep her away from the world for a while, let her know that hiding can sometimes be good. Her tears were wetting my already damp shirt and though I was a bit worried since she felt so cold, was crying, and was hugging me in her own damp clothes, afraid that she could catch a cold, I continued my action. And then she pushed me a bit and told me that she loved me.
Winifred Queen, is the most selfless person I have ever met. I mean she was the one that was crying her eyes out and she was the one that pulled away so she could reassure me. It's astonishing really. Like man, with her beautiful words and great mind and pretty face and caring attitude, like she's a fucking alien. God, especially with those big, sad blue eyes of hers that just hypnotize you and make you just want to protect her from everything. She takes you on her mother ship and runs away with you to another planet where it's more quiet, where she shows you another world and takes time out of her own life to fly into space and bring you back a few stars. Then she speaks to you in that alien language of hers and says things that you've never heard before and makes you wish you could hear that everyday of your life.
We were both so cold as we were just breathing in each other right in front of the unlit fireplace. Her arms were wrapped around my neck and I slowly dropped my hands to the bottom of her legs before getting us both up from the floor. I'm not the strongest person alive, but I still managed to carry her all the way to her room, opening and closing the door the best I could without dropping her. Fuck, she was desperately holding on to me and I know it wasn't because she was afraid that I would drop her but because she was afraid that I would leave her.
Her fingertips were sinking themselves into the back and sides of my neck and they were just so cold. I gently rested her on top of her nicely made bed and she looked at me unsure about my action, her arms almost dragging me down with her as well.
"Don't worry. I'm not going anywhere. I'm just going to close the windows and warm up the place. Get yourself under the covers to warm up and I'll be right back. Okay?" I whispered, giving her a small reassuring smile as I finally pulled away. Her eyes were staring up at me, the blue almost agonizing to see since they looked so sad.
'But you like the windows-'
"Rain and wind is getting inside and I don't want you to get sick. It's fine, Winnie. We have other days for open windows."
She nodded a little and I quickly leaned back down, leaving a kiss on her forehead before walking out, doing as promised. There were buckets worth of water splattered all over the floors right beside the windows, the thunder loud and the lightning seeming to even light up the gray clouds as it struck. I knew that the floors would have to dry and be cleaned up and I decided that I would do it in a few hours right before, Coop was going to pick us up, knowing that, Winnie needed me right at that moment. As soon as I finished, my finger tips colder than ever, I turned up the air as well, trying to warm up the place as much as possible before returning back to her.
She was sitting up in her bed, thankfully under the covers with her eyes just staring at the wall in front of her in complete silence. She looked so exhausted, so lifeless and that feeling people get in their chest when something they didn't expect to happen happens, that drop, well I felt that times a fucking thousand.
"Hey." I said as I walked in, her attention going on me with her hair drying up into that beautiful mess it usually does.
She mouthed a 'hi' and I gave her another reassuring smile before walking to her closet.
"Do you have any clothes you can change into? Anything-"
When I glanced at her again, I noticed her finger pointing at the wardrobe in the corner of the room on her left, right beside a few empty cardboard boxes that were stacked up on top of each other. Once I grabbed a plain white t-shirt and sweatpants, I passed them to her.
"Change into these, you'll feel more comfortable."
She just stared at me for a while, her eyes observing me with this deep intent hidden in them. I wanted to hold her again, I didn't know what I would say or if I would even say anything but I just wanted to hold her. Like that night when she told me all about her cousin and her dick of an aunt and I heard her crying, I felt so useless, so fucking pointless since I couldn't do anything to help her. I was in America and she was here and she sounded so scared and damn it, I didn't want her to be.
I was there with her this time and this fear had come out of her again and I was able to do something. But this sort of weird rush of worry went through me and I felt a little panicked myself. I didn't want to make her worse. What if I traumatized her even more or something?
But then she nodded and gave me a small reassuring smile this time and I calmed down. She didn't want me to leave the room again so instead I just turned around as she changed before she made a 'mhmm' noise and I heard the sound of her wet clothes and camera hit the floor. She looked more comfortable when I saw her, her eyes tired and a few of her curly hair strands hiding behind her ears.
She scooted her body over a bit towards the end of her side and she patted the mattress.
'Come here.' she mouthed.
I smiled and obliged, sitting myself at the edge, trying not to get the sheets wet. She gave me a confused look and I shrugged.
"My clothes are still damp and yeah. I don't want to get you sick."
Her eyebrows rose and she nodded before leaning closer to me, her hand grabbing on to my arm.
'Just lay on top then.'
"Winnie-"
'Take off your shirt too. I do not mind.'
My lips kind of separated and I chuckled a little before shrugging.
She shrugged back, a small smile suddenly appearing on her face.
"Your wish is my command my dear sweet, Winifred." I whispered.
She smiled more and I casually took my shirt off, the cool air hitting my skin briefly before I finally adjusted. I laid my body completely on the bed and I turned on my side, Winnie doing the same before we both just sort of looked at each other. Fuck. It was so intense. She is so intense. And maybe I just really like intense.
She scooted closer, her arms laying right in front of her and I slowly lifted my hand up to her face, my thumb rubbing small circles on her cheek before I pulled away and wrapped my left arm around her body, pulling her in. It got warmer and warmer and I felt her breaths on my chest, her own arm around me with her dainty fingers digging themselves into my back.
It felt all so crazy now that I think about it. I mean I have fame, money, friends, a good family, a nice house, and just a lot of stuff but what have I done so good to like get someone like, Winnie into my life? Why are all these good things happening to me? I don't deserve it. I mean I'm not a bad person I think, but what makes me so fucking special? This beautiful person is leaving small kisses on my chest with her wild hair tickling my skin and I get to hold her.
I felt her fingers tap on the back of my shoulder and I pulled back, keeping a good distance between us so I could understand what she wanted to tell me while still being close.
'I am sorry that I can not speak to you.'
My eyebrows furrowed and I felt that odd feeling in my chest again.
"What? Are you apologizing for not talking?"
I wasn't sure if I heard her right. I hope I didn't.
She looked away briefly and my hand went back to her face again.
She nodded and I shook my head.
"Winnie-"
I sighed.
"It's okay. You know that's not like an issue with me. If you talk again than that's good and if you don't, than that's good too."
She looked back up at me, a few of her small hairs falling over her forehead.
"It's whatever you're good with."
She didn't smile or respond or even flinch. That gaze of hers just remained on me for a few seconds and I felt a bit naked. Like yeah I wasn't even wearing a fucking shirt but I don't mean in that way. Like it was like she could just see whatever she wanted to see when it came to me, that I was just allowing her to in a way and I didn't close anything from her. Fuck, even my mind just kept on repeating how much of a pathetic fool I am for this girl and I just silently agreed.
Then she pulled away from me, scooting herself back to the edge of the bed and leaning herself down to the floor, looking through her pants.
"Win-"
She came back up with her phone in her hand, her fingers unlocking it before she just began typing. I was unsure for a few minutes whether she was trying to talk to me or whether she was texting one of her friends an S.O.S. But when she passed me the device, it became clear. Written in her notes was a message I wished she had written on a napkin.
My dad once showed me this documentary. A few months ago actually like I believe it was on the day when I told you about my depression? I'm not so sure. But whatever like he showed it to me and it was about population in the world and it talked about increases and percentages and stuff and yeah. Did you know that one person alone makes up less than one percent of the population? We are all less than one even though we try to be more and what I'm trying to say I guess is that I'm just a decimal and you're a one. Like I didn't think it to be humanely possible but you are just crazy and amazing and good like you're so good and you're one. I love you and you're a whole number and just thank you for making me feel like one too.
I'm unsure why I get surprised anymore by these words that come out of her. I mean I thought I would be kind of used to it by now, but I'm not. The fans that the boys and I have always tell me how they love me or how much I've helped them in some way, but this is just different. It just feels more personal, that it has so much meaning and I know it does and maybe I'm overthinking this a bit but everything she says will always be new for me and it's great. When you watch a movie or listen to this amazing song for the first time and you feel this overwhelming sense of joy from it, as the years pass, no matter how much or how little you watch or listen to it again, you will never feel that same intense way about it again. And sometimes, if you think like me, you wish you could turn back time or erase your mind so you could forget about it and watch it for the first time again to feel that happiness. However, that is, as well as not, the case with, Winnie.
I feel that happiness from her words, yeah, but that amazing feeling never goes away. It's new everyday with her in the best way possible.
I reread the message a few times, taking her words in before finally glancing at her. Damn, I wish I knew what to say back when she says things like that. Like I wish I knew in advance like in a script or something of what her lines would be and I had my response right there in black and white. But life's not that easy and I probably still wouldn't even know what to say then anyway.
"Fuck, Winnie." I said as I always fucking say.
I just looked back at the message and I closed my eyes for a bit, shaking my head out of frustration.
"I'm sorry. Fuck, I really want to say more. Trust me I do but-"
I sighed and felt her hand on my own, my eyes opening once again.
'It is whatever you are good with.'
She repeated my words from before and I felt myself smile a little before shrugging.
She shrugged too. Again.
She was smiling as well.
"Come here."
I scooted myself closer to her and she the same, her hand grabbing her phone before she turned to the other side, her back facing me with my arm spooned around her. We stayed there for a while in silence, the rain from outside beginning to ease down as it turned into a light sprinkle.
"Why don't you play some Elvis?" I asked, knowing how it's her favorite and knowing that the king's voice will take any leftover anxiety she has away.
She didn't respond, but then Burning Love began to play and I nuzzled my face into the back of her neck as my eyes closed, the lyrics playing throughout the room along with her soft breaths that lead me to sleep.
It was pretty fucking awkward having to go back to the hotel with no shirt on, it was even more awkward being shirtless in Cooper's bus while she was asleep, her head rested against the window, leaving me alone with her best friend who was wearing a nice suit.
"So, it is what it is huh?" He spoke suddenly, his eyes still on the road with little snores in the background.
I looked down at my chest and coughed awkwardly before nodding.
"Yup. Um got it about two years ago."
He made a 'hmm' noise and I just nodded awkwardly, in dire need of a smoke.
"So a suit huh?" I questioned back, my hands squeezing my damp shirt that was rested on my lap.
"Yup. New job and all."
"Oh."
"Yup."
I nodded again and began to look around, my eyes observing the bus. The windows looked too tinted to even be legal.
"These windows u-"
"Please tell me you used protection at least."
My eyes widened and my cheeks heated up. I practically choked on my own fucking saliva. Fuck, this is not a question a man that simply wanted a ride home from his possible girlfriend's best friend expected to hear. Then again, I wasn't wearing a fucking shirt so I guess I understood the reason for his accusation.
"What I-"
He sighed, interrupting me when he reached a stop sign, his back quickly turning around with his eyes staring at me in this protective mode kind of deal. He looked like fucking Arnold Schwarzenneger in Terminator when he was killing that robot dickhead. I was even prepared to hear him say "I'll be back." or some shit like that.
"I'm not a dumbass. You have no fucking shirt on, she's in different clothes and your hair looks all sexed up so I just want to make sure that, one, you didn't fucking pressure her, two, you used protection and three, you didn't share that information with anyone."
I put my hands up in defense, my eyes widened and when some asshole behind us kept on honking his horn, Coop lowered down his window and screamed, "I'm fucking going!"
He continued to drive and I glanced at, Winnie quickly before shaking my head.
"We didn't have sex."
He forced a chuckle, his eyes going back and forth at the rear-view mirror, my own eyes rolling.
"I swear to god if you're lying to me, I don't care whether you're famous or not, I will knock your teeth in."
I sighed, my eyes going back to, Winnie before I answered. She looked so calm, no hint of worry on her face anymore. It felt good, knowing that I was able to help out a little with that result.
"She had one of those anxiety attacks."
Coop, wasn't chuckling anymore.
"What?" He asked, his voice sounding quieter and softer than before.
I was unsure if it was right to tell him this, but I didn't want him to bombard, Winnie with all these accusations when she had just finally calmed down when she would wake up. I was hoping that maybe he would be more understanding and even make sure that she's more comfortable when she would return home with him to see his sister.
"I told her that I loved her, outside in the rain, which is why she had to change clothes and then she ran and I comforted her and we laid in her bed and slept a bit and yeah."
I sounded a bit embarrassed saying everything aloud, well at least the whole 'I love you' confession bit I guess since I don't really like people hearing that side of me, but it was needed. His whole expression changed as I saw through the mirrors, his eyebrows furrowed and his voice non existent for a while before he turned into a lane, my attention on the shirt on top of my thighs.
"Um I'm sorry man. I- I'm just protective of her you know? She's like my sister and yeah. Thanks I mean-"
I shrugged, looking back up slowly.
"Nah it's okay. I understand. I would've done the same if it were for one of my sisters and yeah no problem at all."
He nodded and cleared his throat before nodding again, the atmosphere getting a bit awkward but comfortable in its own peculiar way.
Then I looked back down at my shirt again, my fingertips rubbing against the fabric and I got an idea.
"Um, Cooper c-"
"Coop." He interrupted, a small smile on his lips.
I chuckled.
"Yeah, Coop. Ugh I was wondering if I could just go upstairs real quick and get something to give to, Winnie before you leave when you drop me off? Like it will be fast I promise."
"Sure. Be my guest. Would you want me to wake her or-"
"No. No. No. Just like I'll hand it to you and you hand it to her when she wakes up if that's fine?"
He nodded.
"Sure. Of course."
I nodded too.
"Okay yeah thanks."
"No problem."
He didn't question anything else and I was glad he didn't.
As soon as he stopped, I got off the bus, making my way through the back door and saying quick greetings to the staff I usually see before running up to my room, even taking the fucking stairs.
My room was nicely clean, the giant bed nicely made with all of my possessions in one peace. I walked myself to the small wardrobe right beneath the television and I opened the drawers, my eyes skimming through each of my shirts until I finally found the one I wanted to find. I held it up to the light dramatically, praising myself for finding it so quickly before going back out and closing the door.
Coop was tapping against his steering wheel in some sort of rhythm and Winnie was still out like a light when I had returned.
"Shit. You weren't kidding when you said you were going to be fast." Coop commented, laughing a little when he noticed my very heavy breathing.
I shrugged, my hand rested on the side of his bus as I tried to catch my breath.
"Here is-"
I took a deep breath.
"-the shirt."
I lazily handed him the shirt and, Coop just eyed it curiously before unfolding it, holding it up in front of his face as he examined it thoroughly.
"Love will tear us apart. Hmm. Joy Division is alright I guess." He shrugged to himself and I glared at him before he laughed again.
"Look mate, I'm just busting you're balls over here. Um I'm sure she'll like it? Winnie, is a fan of them."
I gave him a thumbs up, my eyes rolling before I laughed a little myself.
"Thanks, mate for the ride and this." I said, my smile growing as I stared at the strange and nice hippie man.
"No problem."
"Take care of yourself."
"You too."
I gave him a small salute which he returned before I finally closed the door and he went off.
My hands went to my pockets and when I realized I still wasn't wearing a shirt, I ran back up once more, a few of the staff wolf whistling me teasingly as I passed them by, my eyes rolling and my smile wide.
As soon as I got back to the room, I closed the door and put my phone to charge before immediately getting out of my trousers and bottoms and getting into the shower to soak up in nice warm water. I was thinking about what, Coop said, about how he thought, Winnie and I did it . I'm not sure if that moment will happen anytime soon since I have to be patient with her (which is not a problem at all) but I guess I hadn't really thought about it till now. I mean before I got to know her I noticed how fit her body is and how great her boobs look and all that, but I guess I'm not thinking about it twenty-four-seven or anything like when it happens, it'll happen and it'll happen at the right time. I mean she panicked because I told her I loved her, I doubt she'll be totally cool with doing that anytime soon.
God, I hope she likes the shirt. I hope she doesn't think of the gesture as a pressuring thing in a way, as if I'm saying, here's my shirt now you have to validate that you love me all the time or some fucked up shit like that. I wanted to give it to her because I remember how she said that she liked my shirts, because I know how I felt when she gave me her hoodie. It felt like knowing and reassurance. And just seeing her in one of my shirts in general would be the icing on the cake.
It was a good idea.
Yeah.
I nodded, hopeful and pleased with myself before shutting off the water, drying myself, walking out to my drawers, and pulling out a pair of boxers and a t-shirt.
My hair was wet and the room felt chilly so I went to the closet and grabbed that hoodie from the hanger, slipping it on before grabbing my phone and going under the covers of my bed.
I had five messages, two missed calls, and too many to count twitter notifications.
I should really turn those off.
I would lie to myself if I said I wasn't a little disappointed that none of the messages nor calls were from her but I also understood. She was probably still sleeping in that stuffy bus anyway.
I answered, Niall first, telling him that mixing orange juice with rum was not the same as mixing orange juice with vodka and that by doing so would mean he was a fucking idiot. Then I answered his second message.
From: Blonde Twat
It wsn't da same :l
To: Blonde Twat
You're a fucking idiot.
I answered Stan after with a picture of myself pointing to the very accurate statement on Winnie's brilliant hoodie that she bestowed on me in response to his message with a friendly greeting followed by the word twat. Then I glanced at Harry's message and answered with the same eloquence as I did with, Niall.
From: Banana dick
Help. Niall wants to mix orange juice with rum.
To: Banana dick
He's a fucking idiot.
And lastly came Eleanor who just messaged me to call her followed by a violent amount of exclamation points and once I saw how the two missed calls were from her, I obliged even though the calls and message was from a few hours ago.
The phone rang about three times until she finally answered.
"Well looooook who decided to finally answer their phone."
I rolled my eyes, sitting myself up and yawning a little.
"Hello to you too sweetums."
"Why didn't you answer? What if I were kidnapped and I was calling you to help me? I could be dead!"
"What a shame."
"Dick."
"I was busy with something. And what do you want?"
"Where even are you?"
I sighed.
"Doncaster. Visiting family." I lied.
I'm not ashamed of, Winnie or anything but I'm not sure how she would feel about me discussing our relationship to anyone just yet. I mean she knows how I told the lads about her and even though she didn't seem to mind, I don't want to cross any lines.
"Liar."
"I'm not lying."
"Yeah you are. I heard my dad say that you were near there but not actually there."
I groaned to myself.
Fuck. I swear to god, if Garett was the one that fucking spilled.
"So. Whose the girl?"
I felt my eyes widen and my other hand quickly went through my hair.
"There's um no girl."
There was silence for a while and my heart was racing.
"Fuck. Those fans of yours were right."
My heart raced even faster and I felt as if I were going to have a fucking heart attack. I was unsure what she meant by that. I mean I hadn't tweeted anything about my location or, Winnie or anything related. Did the fans know? Did they suspect anything?
And then she continued.
"Oh my god. You are gay. I mean it all kinda makes sense actually now that I think about it..."
My eyebrows furrowed and my whole body calmed. At least no one knows about, Winnie. Well yet anyway.
"Eleanor, I'm no-"
"Man everyone is going to go haywire when you come out. Whose the dude? Does my dad know?"
"I'm n-"
"Oh my god, is it, Harry?! Oh my god! Dude the tattoos thing was kinda a giveaway, just saying. You two really need to keep it more on the down low li-"
"I am not gay, Eleanor." I finally got a word in, my hand rubbing up and down my face in frustration.
"Oh, so bi? Or are you like those other ones like demi or pan? I always had this feeling that, Harry was a little-"
"I am straight and Harry is straight and him and I are not dating."
Fuckinay.
She began to laugh and I mentally flipped her off, my cheeks flushed.
"Sorry. I'm so stupid. Even if, Harry was gay, he would never go out with you. What was I even thinking?"
"Eleanor. Back to the subject. I am here for football practice for a charity match I'm doing, nothing more."
"Well why didn't you just say so in the first place ya twat?"
I cursed at myself, quickly trying to think of an excuse.
"Um it's a private one and the coach might want me back on the Rovers and I didn't want anyone to know unless I actually got back in."
Smooth as fucking melted chocolate.
"Hmmm. Well congrats. Well hopefully congrats I suppose. I think it will be one though."
I smiled softly at that, shaking my head a little and raising my eyebrows.
I am friends with this idiot.
"So you never answered my question. Why'd you call?" I questioned, my curiosity beginning to arise again.
"I was bored, wanted to see how you were doing, and also just wanted to give you a little heads up."
I rose an eyebrow.
"Bout what?"
"My dad has been talking lots about you lately over the phone and a few times when I've gone to ask him something during his meetings, I've heard him speak of you there as well. You've just been the subject of conversation lately and to be honest it's kind of annoying. He won't even shut up about you to me which is odd."
I felt that dropping feeling in my chest again, this small sense of paranoia and suspicion beginning to crawl up the back of my neck.
What if he's planning something?
"What has he been saying?"
"I mean I couldn't make things out clearly when he spoke to others. All what really stuck out to me was your name but one time he was on the phone with some business guy from Syco I believe and I heard him say, this would be good for, Louis."
This would be good for, Louis.
This would be good for, Louis.
This would be good for, Louis.
What the fuck does that ass plug mean by that?
"What does he tell you about me?" I continued asking, trying to grasp as much information as I could, try to see if I could figure this guy's motives out or if he even has one.
"Nothing like serious. We one day had a conversation about you at dinner. He kept on mentioning how smart you are and how a lot of girls find you attractive and I don't know like it was weird. I mean he knows we're friends but he never said anything of it before but now he's just like shoving it in my face? Like he'll ask me what you're up to and how close we are and stuff. I don't know he could just be sleep deprived again but I just wanted to let you know."
I nodded slowly, taking all of her words into deliberate consideration.
"Thanks, El. I really appreciate you telling me this."
"No problem babe."
"Can you let me know if you hear anything else about me? If that's okay with you?"
"Yeah. Of course. I'll be your private eye. I'll be like James Bond but the one from Skyfall because lets face it, he dressed the best."
I laughed a little and she joined in for a while until we both said our goodbyes.
"I'll call you sometime this week? " I ask.
"Sure. Just text me first and I'll let you know if I can."
"Okay. Bye, ELephant."
She laughed.
"By LOUser."
I laughed too.
"Oh and, El?"
"Mhmm?"
"I could make any gay guy like me. Come on."
I could practically hear her roll her eyes through the line.
"Whatever helps you sleep at night babe. See ya."
We both finally hung up and I turned on the TV, my mind not even paying attention to the program at all as my mind kept on thinking about, Mark and what he's possibly up to. I mean I would ask Garett, but it sounds like he was the one that told, Mark in the first place about my location so I have to lay low for a while, not telling any of the boys either until I get more information.
My phone suddenly then buzzed right beside me and now I'm here smiling like an idiot as I read, Winnie's message.
From: Winnie :)
Thanks for the shirt. I'm wearing it right now. <3
______________________________________________________________________________
HEEEYYYYYYY YALLLLLL!
Sorry I haven't updated in a while. I've been having a few troubles and I can't really write in like a down mood but I'm fine now and I hope you enjoyed this fluffy and funny chapter.
btw I AM LARRY TRASH SO I HAD TO.
And I have an 8tracks account if you guys don't know and I made a playlist for this story with songs for Louis and Winn so if you guys want to see that and check out the music I listen to that helps me write these chapters than check out my profile in the bottom of my bio where I put the link :)
And if you check out my playlists there you shall see that I am also destiel trash so oops....
Hi.
Yeah I went there. Sue me.
I love you all and yeah I might change the book covers since I'm getting kinda bored so :D
ILY
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Side is the Elvis songgg they listened to in the room and side gif is of Eleanor cuz why not.
Btw I think it's kinda obvs what Mark's plan is but I also won't give any spoilers ;)