•:Not Finished Yet:•
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—Rafe—
I'm not sure I could put into words how I feel. My thoughts are racing through my head, flashing every second of the events from tonight. Playing it over like it's on fucking tape.
I have an odd heaviness in my chest, making my lungs feel tight. I can still feel the anger burning under my skin but my rage seems to have faded..for now. I'm not done with him. I might have beaten him to a fucking pulp but I'm not certain that he got the message. Come near her, you'll fucking die.
I could see it in his eyes, the kind of sick fuck he is. He was afraid to say the fucking least. Anyone would be when getting their face fucking pummeled, but I know as sure as I lay here with her, that his intentions with her haven't been bled dry yet.
I think a..conversation..still needs to take place. I've never experienced such pure fucking rage, with nothing but burning hot red flashing in front of my eyes. I've never had the urge to kill someone so much as I did tonight. I didn't know what I was walking into when Aria called, all I heard was her shouting that Lily was screaming the second my tires hit the dirt of their driveway. I didn't need a second more to process what I should do, the second I saw his hands around her neck, my brain shut off. He was fucking dead. And he would've been if Liam wasn't there.
Not a single thought was behind my eyes as I pounded my fists into his fucking face, all I saw was red, felt the burning urge to implement as much pain as possible into his fucking flesh. Liam is the only reason he's not dead and I'm not behind fucking bars right now.
It took every ounce of every fucking piece of me not to chase him the fuck down when I saw her throat and the bruises he'd left on his skin. I've seen her afraid..of me. But nothing like the pure fucking horror in her eyes. It was an odd mixture to see but not witness. Minus the look on her face she was oddly calm, too calm. Like she wasn't even in her own mind. She'd shut down but somehow I could still see it. See the wheels spinning behind her eyes so fast she couldn't focus on what she was thinking. I found it even more odd that she'd reached for my hand for comfort, fidgeting with my ring to calm herself.
Not once has she touched me in anyway but with lust, or looked at me as anything but someone she despises, someone who fucks her and throws her to the side afterwards. But last night was different. She wanted me there, she wanted to feel my skin against hers. I just don't know why. I suppose being traumatized makes you do all sorts of odd things. Things you wouldn't do otherwise.
I couldn't comfort her the way she wanted me to. I don't have the ability to shut the fuck down like she did. I could barley fucking breathe through my anger and self restraint not to go back after him and kill the fucker.
But what bothered me even fucking more was why the fuck I felt like that. What caused the pure burning fucking rage to bleed under my skin, just from Arias phone call. Only knowing that the situation was taking place was enough to burn red in my eyes.
Seeing it was a different story. I had so much fucking adrenaline pumping through me, I didn't stop to breathe. It breathed for me. I've never felt fucking anger like that before in my life and anger isn't something I'm unfamiliar with.
And I have no fucking idea why, why or what brought it on. I wouldn't walk past anyone being fucking choked but I certainly wouldn't be half as angry as I was seeing it happen to her. My own thoughts rack my brain, racing and spiraling. Blurring my fucking consciousness so much that all I can do is stare blankly and try to make sense of it.
She shifts behind me, dropping her head against my arm and exposing her neck making me clench my jaw as I stare down at the bruising. I'm not fucking done with him. I won't murder him for the sake of not being thrown in prison but I'll make sure he knows what will fucking happen if he so much as fucking thinks of her.
I gently reach down and lift her wrist, tugging her sleeve down, seeing the cuts on her arm, starting to fade, before I set it back down and sigh. Bruises on her neck, cuts on her wrist, crushed up oxy in her drawer, debt hanging over her head.
I sigh, listening to her breathing as she sleeps. She was so calm..No mouthing off or saying something fucking sarcastic or smart ass. Talking herself into a fucking corner or trying to push me as far as she can. As much as I thought I hated it. Her fire was gone from her eyes and it made me fucking sick.
Her shirt rides up slightly and my fingers rest against the soft skin of her stomach, rubbing small circles at there. Watching her eyelids flutter as she sleeps, her brows slightly. drawn together like she's afraid even in her sleep. Her scent invades my nose, smelling like cherries and vanilla. A scent I've become quite familiar with. And I fucking hate that I don't hate it.
My eyes open meeting Alilias ceiling. Sunlight leaking through the broken blinds on her window. My nose filled with her scent. I hadn't meant to fall asleep with my cheek resting on her head.
I pull away, sliding her gently off of my arm. I'm not sure I fell asleep at all, if I did it was barely an actual sleep.
I make my way down the hallway, remembering my keys are still sitting on their kitchen counter. If you can call it a kitchen. Seeing Lilys mother move over to the shitty coffee pot. Those things still exist?
"Oh good morning" she greets me warmly, sitting with me odd. She speaks so gently, warmly. Like a mother would. I suppose I've forgotten what that's like.
"Do you want some coffee?" She asks, dressed in her blue nurse scrubs, a sweater pulled over them. Her dark brown hair twisted into a bun on the back of her head. I search for some resemblance between her and Lily or Haley but only find Aria in her features. They must look like their father, whoever the fuck he is. And I don't particularly care.
"No thanks" I tell her flatly. Feeling odd standing here but not wanting to just grab my keys and leave. Her daughter was almost choked to death, she probably doesn't need my bluntness this early.
Although it is hard to shove down, it's who I am.
"Is she still asleep?" She asks, her eyes round with concern as she comes to stand at the counter, her hands wrapped around a red mug. Her blue eyes round with concern, flashing with a subtle look of relief when I nod. "Oh good, she needs it, she's been sleeping so terribly lately" she says, shaking her head before brining the mug to her lips.
An eery feeling shivers up my spine at her words. I'm probably the reason she hasn't been sleeping well. Waking her up every night, I hadn't cared or thought about it until now. I'm sure she doesn't just fall back asleep when she gets home from me either or maybe she does. I don't fucking know or dare. "Not that she ever sleeps well, poor thing wakes up screaming just about every other night" she rambles and I feel my brows draw together, wondering what the hell she's talking about.
"Screaming?" I question and she nods taking another sip of her coffee before sitting it down and it clanks against the counter. "She has nightmares" she explains not answering the question at all. "Why?"
"Her father.." she starts to speak but pauses making my nerves ring. "Well it's not my place to tell you..let's just say he wasn't a nice person" she says and I nod, finding myself wanting to know just exactly what the fuck that means. "Im sure she'd tell you" she adds and I chew on the inside of my cheek. "I doubt that"
Looking up and meeting her gaze. Her eyes slightly narrowed and her lips pulled into a subtle smirk. "Look Rafe I don't exactly what you are to my daughter, I have my assumptions but she'd tell me if she wanted me to know. What I do know is that she trusts you" she tells me, making slight worry flood through me. I'm not sure exactly what 'assumptions' she has but they must be at least watered down. If she knew the things I've done and said to her daughter she'd kill me herself and I'm not sure I'd blame her.
I haven't felt a even a flicker of angst towards anyone or anything. Maybe that's a mom thing too. Subtly putting fear into the people your children are around. It's a hidden warning to thread lightly. "I couldn't tell you if you're right" I tell her. I don't think Alilia feels anything towards me but hate and when she's drunk in lust and wants me to fuck her. But once it's gone so is whatever was there. Last night was different, she was in shock. The last thing she'd feel for me is trust.
"I don't even know why she wanted me to stay last night" I tell her honestly, wondering why I'm still standing here talking. Or why I'm even letting myself be the smallest bit honest or genuine with her. I keep everyone at the surface. Very few people get to see past that but it feels different to talk to her. The way she's speaks to me with warmth like I'm her child. I almost feel like my mother is standing in front of me.
"She feels safe with you, all of them do" she tells me, pulling the mug to her lips again and I stare at her confused. "Why is that?" I question, wondering if my tone sounded as agitated as I feel. Agitated that she seems to see something I'm not. "You're the opposite of everything they've ever known, none of my girls have had a decent man in their life. From their father to the ones Lily has dragged in" she says, shaking her head in disgust at the last sentence making me wonder what sparked that reaction. Who has she 'dragged in'?
I clench my teeth together, only noticing it when my jaw starts to ache. If she knew how I've treated her daughter she wouldn't consider me decent either.
"Hm" I mumble, looking down and brushing my finger over the metal of my truck keys. "I was surprised when she let JJ in as close as she did, I thought for certain there was something there and I still think there was a for while" she laughs into the brim of the mug and I feel my face dance with disgust. Ignoring how she accidentally spilled her daughters business, more focused on the heat that rises under my skin. She had something with Maybank? "Oh I probably shouldn't be telling you this..don't worry he's just her best friend" she says, throwing her hand up in a dismissive way.
"Is he.." I clench my teeth together. Again wondering what the fuck has me gritting my teeth together so hard they feel like they're about to fucking bust.
"Kade was the worst one she's been with.." I can practically see the shiver that runs through her. Anger bubbling in me at the mention of his name. "And I need you to promise me" she reaches across the counter and places her hand over mine. I wait for the revolting urge to pull it away that I normally feel when people touch me but it isn't there. Instead it makes my defensiveness flood away.
"Promise me you will keep that sick fucker away from her" she says, her eyes round with worry but flickering with anger. I give her a nod "I'm not done with him" I tell her. My anger beginning to burn again, fading away again when her eyes move somewhere behind me, filling with pain.
"Oh honey" she breathes, moving around the side of the counter. And I turn around seeing Lily come walking up to us with a skeptical look on her face, her eyes moving between her mother and I.
"Your neck" Katie sighs, pushing her long red hair away before examining the bruising. Watching Alilia flinch when she touches it. "I'm fine mom" she breathes, her eyes coming back to me as she gives me a blank look. "I'll see if I can get something from work for the pain..oh shit I'm going to be late" she says, hurrying over and grabbing her bag up. Giving Lily a kiss on the cheek and waving goodbye to me before hurrying out the door.
Leaving Lily and I standing in the living room. Or is this still the kitchen? If I move my fucking foot an I'd be in both rooms at once.
"I thought you left" she tells me flatly, pushing past me and moving over to the fridge before pulling it open.
"I was about to. Your mom stopped me" I half lie. I wasn't really sure if I was going to leave or not. I'm sure I would have ended up doing so if her mom hadn't started talking me. I had no reason to stay any longer. She ignores me, sighing before shutting the fridge, shoving past me again, moving down the hallway and I reluctantly follow her.
Katie's comment about her and Maybank ticking at the back of my skull. Did she fuck him? And her comment about their father has me wanting to know what exactly that entails. That might be a bigger issue..but right now I'm a little more agitated about this. "Did you get into my drawer?" She questions, moving over and pulling it open. I lean against her doorway, crossing my arms over my chest. "Do you think your crushed up oxy would be my first thought if I wanted drugs Alilia?" I ask earning a glare from her. Although I don't think I'll have that thought at all. I haven't touched anything but weed in weeks. I've been meaning to do a something about that bag of shit I'm just not sure what. She's addicted enough that if I take it she'll just end up getting herself in some other fucked situation trying to get more.
Her attitude is there but something is off. She's not being herself but I can't place exactly what's different. I'm sure she's still in fucking shock from being choked half to death. She moves around anxiously before plopping down on her bed, her eyes moving to me slightly narrowed. "What were you guys talking about out there?" She questions, her eyes sweeping me up and down before coming back to my eyes. "You" I tell her and she gives me an eat shit and die look. "What about me?" She asks and I smirk deciding this might be a fun path to watch her go down. "She's was quite..informative" I tell her watching her nose scrunch up and her eyes practically turn red with anger. "What did she tell you Rafe?"
I shrug only making her growl through her teeth filling my amusement. She did tell me quite a bit except nothing at all.. Only made a few questions rise; taking me back to fucking Maybank. The heat under my skin rising and I feel my grin fade.
"Did you fuck Maybank?" I ask, not even bothering to beat around the question. That's not really my style. "She told you that?!" She practically shouts, standing up from her bed and my blood boils. "She doesn't even know that.." she breathes, pressing her palm to her forehead and shutting her eyes. "You used to fuck him?" I ask through my teeth, trying to figure out what it was. Pushing away from the wall and moving into the center of the room. Were they together or was it some fucking shit like this?
"Yes Rafe we did" she tells me, stepping closer to me and crossing her arms over her chest. "And I liked it, unlike this" she waves her finger in between us, a smirk on her lips as she tries to light me up. I should be more concerned with the fact that her normal behavior is returning. She hasn't had enough time to process it yet. But it isn't my problem how it affects her.
I'm not half as bothered by her comment as she meant. She can lie all she wants, her body tells me everything I need to know when she's in my sheets. She wants it.
I step closer to her until she has to look up at me as I slide my hand up her jaw, carful not to touch her bruising. I may not be fond of her but I won't hurt her. Placing my other hand on her waist feeling her flinch at my touch before she relaxes.
"You don't like it huh?" I ask, watching her eyes move from mine to my lips then back to my eyes, her breath hitching in her throat when I lower my face to hers. Wanting to fucking murder the urge in me to kiss her so hard she can't breathe. I move in closer until our lips are barley a centimeter away, feeling her breath on mine. The air becoming thick between us. Practically feeling the way her heart beats quicker, or maybe it's just mine.
Waiting for her to try and close the distance, pulling away and grinning down at her when she stands on her toes and tries. Giving me an eat shit and die glare. "Sure seems like you do" I smirk at her, trying to shove down the burning urge to taste her.
I'll never understand what it is about her that makes me want her so fucking bad, only in lust. Aside from that she means absolutely nothing to me.
"You're an asshole" she mutters before ripping away from me and going to sit back down on her bed.
Apart from my amusement, I can feel my irritation set back in. She used to fuck him, and I still don't know in what way. You know what? Fuck it. I don't give a fuck. And I don't give a fuck about her father either or what he did, simply because I don't care about her.
Last night was just simply protecting what's mine, and until her debt is paid..she's my property.
"Are you having a split personality aneurysm over there?" She scoffs pulling me from my thoughts. Something like that..
I ignore her, moving over to my shoes and pulling them on. "Rafe?" She asks after a moment of silence passes and I suck in a deep breath of air becoming more and more irritated although I'm sure exactly what it is that has me wanting to punch a fucking wall. "What?"
"Not that you would but don't treat me like I'm fragile or something now. Don't change things" she tells me and I furrow my brows at her, narrowing my eyes. Understanding what's she means after a second. It did cross my mind if I should be as rough with her as I usually am but she's just cleared that up. "Does that seem like something I'd do?" I ask, watching her chew on her lip. My eyes moving up her bare legs in the slutty polka dot pajama shorts she has on. "Nope"
"I'm leaving" I tell her flatly before moving towards the hallway. "Oh wait it's my turn now" she says and I look over my shoulder at her, watching her grin. "You know where the door is" she says proudly and I roll my eyes. For fucks sake.
My focus is less on the road and more on what the fuck has happened in the last fucking however many hours it's been. I loosen my grip on the steering wheel when my knuckles start to fucking ache.
I had to get away from her so I could fucking breathe without having her scent in my nose. Or having her in front of me.
It's driving me fucking insane how goddamn rage filled I am over this sick fuck. I knew the name once I heard it. Not well but I've heard his name come up from Barry and some other fucks who've been around drug sales I've been involved in.
I guess I'll get to know him a little better now..
I just don't understand where it stems from. I've never been so fucking angry in my life, maybe it's territorial. She is mine to use until I'm done with her. Except I wouldn't fucking choke her, although I'm sure she'd be into it with what a kinky freak she is. But that's different, I wouldn't be trying to fucking kill her.
I shouldn't even be thinking this shit right now and that's the fucking problem. No matter what it is I'm thinking, something that has absolutely nothing to do with her or completely fucking random. Something in my fucked up head will trigger and think of her, relate her to whatever it is somehow.
And it has me fucking baffled.
Hey guys! What are your thoughts on this? What do you think about Rafes pov of this chapter and his pov on things between him and Lily?
Let me know!
Hint hint..I think you'll love the smut in the next chapter 😏
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