"I can't believe it's been two years since Courtney killed herself," I said while looking at the news paper.
"It's sad she won't get to see Frances grow up, but she probably wasn't going to anyway. Doing drugs and tours back then," Kurt replied.
"You're right. Should I go and wake Frances up?" I asked.
"Yeah, we need to start eating breakfast as a family," Kurt said.
Just as I got to the top of the stairs, my Little Bean started to yell "mama" and "daddy". I walked into her room and kissed her little head and walked over to her window and opened the curtains to let in the light. Frances's arms were up in the air ready for me to pick her up and bring her downstairs.
"Good morning, Little Bean! How's my sweet girl?" I say with my smile beaming.
"Good! Good!" Frances says in her small baby voice.
"I take it as you slept good too?" I asked, knowing the answer.
"I sleep good!"
"Slept, sweetheart, slept," I correct.
"Slept!" she chirped excitedly.
"Good job honey!"
I brought her downstairs where Kurt was making scrambled eggs. She looked at her dad so excited to see him and smelled the eggs. Kurt turned around and blew on an egg to cool it down for her to try.
"Is it good?" he asked Frances.
"It's good!" she exclaimed.
I couldn't help but laugh because she was so cute. Made me want to get pregnant with my own child. Of, course, I consider Frances my own since I'm raising her. But, I want to experience it all. The pregnancy, birth, and everything else. Then Frances could be a sister.
I sat Frances down in her chair and gave her her eggs and pulled Kurt to the living room.
"I want to have a child. Frances would be a big sister and I'd love to experience being pregnant and giving birth. But, I also want you onboard with this," I explained.
"Then, we'll do it. Frances is young, wouldn't be a huge age gap, and she'll be starting school next year so you can take care of the child easier during the day," Kurt replied. "We'll start tonight."
When we walked into the kitchen and sat down at the table Frances was eating her last bite of egg. She looked up at us and smiled happily. Kurt looked at me, clearly wanting me to ask her if she wants a little sibling.
"Little Bean, we want to ask you something." I start, "Do you want to be a big sister?"
"Yeah!" she squealed.
"Okay. I do have to tell you that it will be awhile before your little sibling is here," I explained.
"Don't forget that the baby grows inside Mommy's belly," Kurt added.
Frances reached out and touched my belly. A sweet smile beamed across her little face as her tiny fingers spread out like spider legs. She looked so innocent and sweet. Kurt was tearing up seeing his little daughter love me as if I was the one who gave birth to her.
"I don't feel my little sister's hand," Frances pouted.
"The baby is not there yet. We wanted to ask you first before the baby gets put in there," I said.
"Oh, okay!" Frances replied. "Can I watch Dexter?"
"Yes ma'am you can," Kurt said as he lifted her off her seat. "In fact, I think I'll watch Dexter with you."
I chuckled and smiled at them. My one happy family loves each other so much. As I washed the dishes I listened to Kurt and Frances laughing at the show. It was one of the sweetest sounds I've ever heard. Then the phone rang.
"Hello?"
"Hey Amy! It's EJ! I'm pregnant!" said EJ.
"No shit! How does Dave feel about this?" I asked.
"Umm, he doesn't know yet. You've been my best friend for years, it was only right you knew first," EJ answered. I was nearly floored. I knew about Dave and her's child before Dave.
"You definitely need to tell him. Cook his favorite meal or take him to his favorite restaurant and tell him," I suggested.
"Okay, I'll call you later and tell you his reaction," EJ said.
"Okay. I miss you, you should come over here soon," I said.
"I will soon. I miss you too," said EJ before she hung up.
Kurt walked in and told me that Frances fell asleep on the couch and asked who called.
"EJ called. Her and Dave are having a kid. Dave doesn't know yet so don't call him until EJ tells me she told him," I explained.
"That's funny since we're going to start trying," Kurt laughed. "But, I'm happy for them."
When Frances woke up we went to the park for her to play with other kids to make sure she'll be social in school. Kurt wore his light blue sunglasses, a Green Day tee, and black jeans. I wore my hair in a messy bun, a Green Day tee matching Kurt's, and black sweatpants.
"Mama, swing me!" Little Bean yelled out.
"Okay, honey," I yelled back.
I pushed her on the swing and watched her smile brightly at big sisters with their little siblings. She was so excited to have a little brother or sister I couldn't help crying. When she realized I was crying, she asked me to stop, got off the swing, and hugged me.
"I love you, Mama. Why are you crying?" she said.
"I have the sweetest future big sister ever. These are happy tears," I told her.
"I can't wait for a little brother or sister!" Frances exclaimed.
"I know, honey. It's getting late, do you want to go get some Chinese, go home, watch a movie, and get in bed?" I asked.
"Okay!" she chirped and then we went to where Kurt was standing.
I kissed his cheek, Frances said 'ew', and turned her head away. Kurt and I laughed a little. She was so cute when she did that.
"Let's go get some Chinese food, go home, watch a movie, and go to bed. Does that sound good to you?" I say.
"Yeah, that sounds fine. What are we going to watch?" Kurt replied.
"Casper? I hear it's wonderful for children," I suggest.
"What do you think, Little Bean?" Kurt asked Frances.
"That's Mama's name for me! I wanna watch it!" Frances said.
I had to laugh. She did not like her own father calling her Little Bean, That name was only for me to call her. Frances knew that, I've called her that since she was born.
"So I can't call you that but Mama can?" Kurt asked. He was trying to get her to let him call her that.
"Only Mama."
"Yeah, only Mama," I joined in laughing.
"Jesus Christ, okay," Kurt said putting his hands up.
Frances and I laughed and we all walked back to our grey Subaru. I buckled Frances in her car seat as Kurt asked us what Frances was hugging me for.
"I was just extremely happy about our family and how we're going to expand it soon," I explain.
"That's sweet. Frances, are you excited to be a big sister?"
"Yeah!" Frances chirped.
On the way to the take-out place Frances talked about all the things she wanted to do with her new little sibling. She wanted to hold them, help take care of them, and everything else. I smiled the entire car ride home.
Two hours later Frances was asleep in her room and Kurt and I were in our room. We sat on the edge of the bed in silence. I was trying to figure out what to say about trying for a baby and I have no idea what he was thinking about.
"Amy, are you ready? You're twenty-seven and you don't need to force yourself into anything at all," Kurt said.
"Exactly, I'm twenty-seven. I can make rational decisions," I reply, "Let's do this."
Kurt starts tracing his fingers up and down my inner thigh slowly. I grab my shirt and throw it off quickly, needing his hands on my upper body. He watches me throw my shirt to the floor and starts to take my sweatpants off. I used my feet to get them off my ankles and onto the floor as he moved my panties to the side and started fingering me. Immediately I started humping his fingers. Moans escaped my lips as moved his index and middle fingers in circles.
"Fuck, that feels good," I whisper so I don't wake Frances.
"I knew you'd say that," Kurt whispered back.
Once he withdrew his fingers, slowly he removed my panties, threw them to the floor with my sweatpants, and climbed on top of me. I spread my legs as far as I could, then he pushed them further, and pushed his dick in me. He placed his hand over my mouth to stop loud moans so we didn't wake Frances up.
This lasted thirty more minutes and then we went to sleep with him holding me and me holding his arms close to me.
The next morning I sent Kurt to grab a few pregnancy tests for me to take next week as my period was due to start. As I cooked breakfast Little Bean made her own way downstairs. I smiled as I saw the sweet girl hug my leg. Looking at her to the stove I knew she was too close to the hot stove and oven for me to keep her safe. That is a safety rule in our house, until our kids turn twelve they must stay three feet back from the stove and oven.
"Mama, who's that lady on the paper?" Frances asked when she looked at the newspaper from yesterday.
"Wait until your daddy gets home. Daddy knew her better than me," I reply.
"Can you tell me her name?" Frances asked.
"Her name is Courtney Love, baby, now wait until your daddy is home to ask more questions. Here's your eggs," I say.
Kurt walks into the house and I immediately greet him at the door. He looks at me a little worried.
"You okay, Pretty Girl?" he asked.
"We forgot to throw the paper yesterday and Frances was asking about Courtney. What are we going to do?" I whispered.
Kurt looked around to make sure Frances wasn't listening to us. "We're going to tell her a little bit about her but she's too young to know she is her mother," Kurt replied.
"Should we call Emily? She might have good advice," I suggested.
"You go to our room and do that while I tell her the bare minimum of Courtney."
I grabbed the pregnancy tests from Kurt and ran upstairs to put them in our bathroom and call Frances old social worker. The phone was on my side of the bed which was closest to the bathroom.
"Hello, this is Emily. Who's calling?" Emily answered.
"Hi, Emily, it's Amy Becker. Kurt Cobain's girlfriend. We are having a small issue that we need advice on," I said.
"He still hasn't proposed? Anyway, what's the issue?"
"Frances saw a picture of Courtney and is asking about her. We think she's too young to know she's her biological mother but we don't know what to tell her," I explained.
"Okay, too young to know about Ms. Love being her mother. She's not fully developed, tell her her job occupation and that she died," Emily suggested. "I'll be over there soon to help with this and tell her it's just a welfare check."
"Okay, thank you!"
I came back downstairs to see Frances watching her cartoons and Kurt drinking coffee in the kitchen. He looked lost in thought as I sat down next to him.
"Emily is coming over soon to help us explain this. She told me to just tell Frances it's a welfare check," I say.
"Did she say anything about telling her the truth?" Kurt asked.
"She agreed she's too young to know."
"She asked why she looked like her so much and I told her it was just a coincidence," Kurt murmured.
"We'll talk to Emily more when she gets here, but for now, let's drink coffee and wait for her to take a nap."
We sat at the kitchen table for another thirty minutes when Frances walked in saying she was tired. Kurt took her to her room when Emily knocked on the door. I opened the door and noticed it had been a little bit since we last saw her because she had a few grey hairs.
"Frances just laid down for a nap, do we want to talk about how to do this and then you can do an actual welfare inspection?" I said.
"Most people don't want a welfare check. Are you and Kurt having problems and don't want to find anything yourself?" Emily asked.
"We are fine, in fact we are trying for a baby," I replied.
"Does Frances know? A surprise like this could be pretty damaging to a child that spent the first few years of her life with a social worker," explained Emily.
"We asked Frances if she wanted to be a big sister and she said yes. We explained the baby would be in my stomach for nine months," I said.
"Since she is three and I'm assuming you'll be putting her into preschool, this was the plan. Frances in school and then you can take easier care of the baby until she's home where you and Kurt will be taking care of them both. Let's sit down with Kurt."
We walk inside and Kurt is already sitting at the kitchen table waiting for us. Emily greeted him warmly and sat down on the opposite side of the table. Kurt drank his glass of water nervously. It had been a little over a year since we last spoke to Emily and I think she realized that.
"Now, to business. How has she been doing since my last visit? How long has she been asking about Ms. Love?" Emily asked.
"Just today. We forgot to throw yesterday's paper out and she saw it this morning and asked who she was. All I told her was her name and to wait until he got home to ask any more. Kurt, tell her what you told her," I explained.
"She asked me why she looked like her. All I told her was it was a coincidence," Kurt said.
"Okay, so when she wakes up, I'll take her for a treat and tell her about her career and that she and Kurt used to perform together," Emily said.
"That's good," Kurt and I replied at the same time.
An hour later Frances wakes up and I get her ready to go with Emily. She was confused as to why Emily was taking her out in place of me and Kurt. I just told her that Emily needed one-on-one time with her for her welfare check.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Frances Bean's POV
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"Why'd you take me out? Mama said it's because of a well-fair check," I asked. "What is a well and fair check anyway?"
"A welfare check is just a check up on you and your home life. It's to make sure you're not getting fed and not being beat up," Emily answered.
"Oh," I whisper.
"Now, I hear you've asked about a woman in the newspaper, what did you ask?"
"I asked Mama who she was and then I asked Daddy why I looked like her. They both avoided the question," I explained.
"What's her name?"
"Courtney Love."
"Why do you look like her?"
"Coin-in-side-ence."
"Coincidence," Emily corrected.
We talked over ice cream and she told me that she and Daddy used to sing and sometimes sang together. She used to sing in a band called Hole before she died two years ago. When I came home, Mama and Daddy were cooking dinner.
"Well, I'll see you at some point, Frances. Bye sweetheart," Emily said before she walked over to my parents to tell them something.
A week later
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Amy's POV
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I missed my period. I grab two tests from under the sink and use one. Positive. I take another. Positive. Screaming in excitement I jumped up and down looking at the test. I'm having a baby!
"Mama! What's wrong?!" Frances yelled.
"I have a surprise for Daddy! Let's go and bake a cake!" I squealed.
I put her in her car seat and drove to the store. We picked out a strawberry cake, picked up a small carton of eggs, and some vegetable oil. On the way home Frances asked what I'm so excited about.
"Mama has a baby in her tummy," I say casually.
"I'm going to be a big sister?!" Frances screamed.
"Yes, ma'am!" I squealed. "But we can't tell Daddy. That's why we're baking a cake."
"Is daddy gonna be excited?" asked Frances cautiously.
"Of course, he wanted a baby too," I reply. "You sound worried, are you okay?"
"Will the baby take time from me?"
"No, not a lot of time, baby. The baby will need a lot of attention but we will still give you a lot. We will continue with movie nights," I explain.
"Can we make this a party with Grandma and Aunt Kim and Uncle Chad and Uncle Krist and Uncle Dave?" Frances asked.
"I'll see what I can do."
We rush into the house to get started on the baking. I taught Frances how to crack eggs and how to stir batter. As soon as the cake was in the oven I grabbed the phone to tell our friends and family to come over. EJ was the first to be called and she was excited. She made Dave drive here immediately. Kim was happy to have a niece or nephew from Kurt. Wendy was extremely pleased and started her drive here to surprise her son. Chad was cool with it. He gave his congratulations and got off of work early to come.
"Little Bean! Everyone is on their way to celebrate!" I yelled out,
The phone rang and I answered it. It was Kurt saying he was going to be home late from the studio because he was going to drink a little with his managers. I told him to make sure he doesn't spoil his dinner and that I made dessert so to be home by six this evening.
"Mama! Mama! Is that Daddy?" Frances yelled running into the kitchen.
"Yes, but don't tell him about the baby in Mama's tummy," I whispered.
"Daddy, when are you coming home? Mama and I baked a cake. She even teached me how to crack eggs!"
"I'll be home before six this evening and it's not teached it's taught," Kurt replied.
"Taught," Frances repeated.
"I got to go. I love you both see you soon," Kurt said before he hung up the phone.
Two hours later, everyone is in our living room while I'm frosting the cake with the words 'we're having a baby' on it. I finish it and walk into the living room to talk to guests. I say hi and people congratulate me on my baby. Everyone knew not to say 'first baby' because we wanted to wait until Frances was older to tell her about her mom.
Thirty minutes later, Kurt walks in the house and we all look at him with a bright smile. I tell him I have a surprise and to wait there. Frances and I went into the kitchen to make sure everything was set up. The pregnancy test was right by the cake and the cake was untouched. I went back into the living with a blindfold and led Kurt to the kitchen and counted down from three.
"Three, two, one. Remove the blindfold!" I squealed.
Kurt picked up the test and looked at me with pure excitement.
"You're fucking pregnant?! Please don't repeat that word Frances. But oh my god, we're having another kid!" Kurt yelled.
I have been so glad to see him come out of the shy shell he was in when Nirvana broke up. He was devastated and could barely talk to anyone besides me and Frances. For Frances he acted like he was okay but cried on me at night.
"We're having another baby!" I screamed.
"I have a confession to make. I was not getting drinks with my managers, they are all married men so I asked for their help for this," Kurt said as he got down on one knee. "Amy Marie Becker, will you marry me?"
"Yes!"
We are one happy family.