Have you ever felt that your grades were never good enough to please your parents?
I have, and believe me, it is the worst, because no matter how hard you push yourself, in the end, the result doesn't please you. Maybe you feel proud of what you achieved, but that's temporary because it wasn't good enough for your parents.
You know the simplest way to be happy is to do it for yourself, not anyone else. At the end of the day, it really doesn't matter what others think, it's about what you think, are you happy about what you did? are you satisfied?
Some might say that society's and your parent's opinions are important. Yes, they are, but there's also a limit to what you do to please society and your parents because, at the end of the day, it's about whether your work brings you the minimum prosperity to buy your meals and whether it brings you happiness.
Well, here I am talking like a philosopher, but believe me, before I met a certain someone, I never really knew how to be genuinely happy. I am indebted to that person for making me understand what life truly is about.
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Aanya P.O.V. (17 years old)
By this time my leg was shaking like an auto-rickshaw moving on the infamous, low-maintenance Indian roads. Sweta who sat beside me, turned and looked at me annoyed, probably because my shaking leg was causing our desk to move. I offered her a sorry look, which made her shake her head in disappointment. But that was hardly of any importance at this moment.
Finally, the teacher called out, "Aanya Sharma." I walked up to the teacher's desk with my fingers crossed, silently praying to god.
"Well done!" our mathematics teacher said with a broad smile. I bowed my head, as a gesture to say 'thanks' but did not dare to look at the marks at the top of the paper.
"Relax! Ye thori tera JEE advanced ka result hain?" Sweta told me on seeing my nervous condition. (Translation: It's not your JEE advance's result) "Chal bata kitna mila?" she asked. (Translation: how much did you get?)
With shaky hands, I opened the folded paper to check the marks. 96/100, so that would make it 585/600 after adding the marks of the other subjects. Not bad right?
"Woww! Topper isiko to bolte hai, tera marks e highest hoga lagta hain," Sweta squealed looking at me as if I was some sort of alien from craneus.
Aarav was the guy who had been a pain in my ass my whole school life, mainly because he was my parents' colleague's son so they never lost a chance to compare us. He came up to my desk, probably with the motive of getting to know my marks.
"How much did you get Ms. Allrounder?" he asked smugly. Yeah, he had to call me that, every goddamn time. Why? Just because I did swimming and karate on a competitive level and got standard marks. Okay, not maybe standard marks, good marks.
"Why do you need to know my marks?" I said with the most annoyed look ever.
"Nah I got 98, just wanted to know yours," he said with the same smug smile. With that, I knew what awaited me at home wasn't going to be pleasant.
"Can't you just leave people in peace? Is my marks so important to you?" I said raging with anger.
"Relax girl! I thought we were okay with this because for your information we've been doing this since childhood, it's our tradition remember?" Aarav said taken aback.
"Well, can you just leave me alone now?" I said in a tone which I didn't recognise myself. It came out harsher than I had wanted it to.
Now you must think that I am a bitch, well I sure was for talking to Aarav like that, all I cared about at that moment was what my parents' reactions would be.
I wasn't mad at Aarav it was just that I envied him, not because he got more marks than me, but because his parents never really pressurized him on anything. They were what you call "chill parents". Sometimes I wondered what it was like to not have to think about what your parents would feel while doing anything and everything.
Aarav's P.O.V.
Weird. Definitely weird.
I had never seen Aanya being this angry at me. Yeah, we were academic rivals, more specifically rivals in both sports and academics, but it had always been like teasing each other, that too on a light note. Sharing our scores after tests was like a tradition of ours. As far as I remember, we both were okay with it.
"Bhai, how is it that you are so good in studies as well as in football? Like give me tips," a guy asked on the way back to my desk, it was one of the new guys who transferred schools after 10. I just said, "Balancing, I guess?" and returned to my seat.
When the final school bell rang, the last time for the day, I saw Aanya sprint out of the classroom.
Aanya and I stayed in the same complex, so basically we took the same metro back home. Wanting to catch the same metro as her, I took after her. But it was as if she had vanished into thin air. Was she avoiding me?
Why do you care? Since when did you start to care whether she was avoiding you?
The voice in my brain reminded me. But maybe I should just ask her what's bothering-
No, you definitely shouldn't. Have you lost it? Remember how hard it was for you to get over that unrequited crush of yours, on her?
Right, sorry, I don't care.
Readers sorry, I and the voice in my head have some conversations at times, don't be weirded out.
When I reached the metro station, I didn't see her on the platform, which meant she had already left. Fine, I don't care anyway.
As I was entering the complex my phone went off. It was my mother.
"Beta, how much did you get?" Mum asked.
"Mummy, 588/600, pata hain, I got the highest!" I reported to her.
"Waah beta, great, we'll have pizza today for dinner," Mum replied. Yeah, this is how Indian moms congratulate their children.
Now I live on the 10th floor, but to roam about for a bit, I headed towards the complex's library, on the first floor.
Nah, you're going there hoping to find her.
That's not it!
You and I both know it, what's the point of denying it? You know she hangs out in there so-
Aren't you supposed to be on my side?
Once I opened the library's gate, the person I found there, wasn't exactly who I had expected.
Liar liar pants on fire.
Shut the hell up.
Aanya was sitting on one of the couches in the corner, but what made my heart wrench was that she was crying.
On seeing me she yelled, "Why do you have to turn up everywhere I go!"
There was a moment of awkwardness where I stood transfixed at the gate while she continued crying.
"Sorry I'll leave," I said and turned to close the door behind me.
Are you out of your mind? Who the hell leaves a crying person like that?
I turned to open the gate once again, and said, "You don't look okay, you know you can tell me what's bothering you. Sharing stuff helps. I know I might not be able to give you good advice, but I could keep you company and-"
"Sorry," she said softly.
"And maybe - what?" I asked confused. I had missed what she said because of course, I was busy rambling.
"I'm sorry for behaving with you like a bitch, it's that my mood is not really good today, I know this is no excuse, s-sorry," Aanya said in a trembling voice as she continued to cry.
I walked up to her and took her into a tight hug. I don't know where I got the courage to do it, but it seemed she could use a hug or two right now. She instantly hugged me back, she probably needed that moment of comfort.
We stayed like that for a minute or two. Her head against my chest, my chin on top of her head, and her tears making my school shirt wet.
"Now, I am not forcing you to tell me what happened, but if you want to share it with someone, I am all ears," I said.
She stopped crying for a moment to look up at me, and said, "I look pathetic, don't I? You really want to know what's bothering me?"
"Yeah, sure, I'll definitely hear you out," I replied.
"You know there's this feeling in me that always manages to convince me that I'll never be able to make my parents truly happy. After today's result, I know, that even though my parents would say I did get good marks, they'll still be a bit disappointed that I didn't get the highest. They have always been like this. Making me wonder what grave mistake I had made. They are never happy no matter how hard I try. The 'ifs' or 'buts' will always be there. But after a certain point, I understood that it's not possible to be the best at everything. However, my parents never get that. They don't tell me directly that they are disappointed but would hint at it through their behaviour. Another thing they do is compare me with anyone who surpasses me in any way," she said in a feeble voice, and continued, "Moreover as our parents are work colleagues, they know you, so they keep on comparing my achievements with yours. You know I try really hard not to care, but there's a limit to everything. Today, when they get to know that I came second, and you got the highest, it will not matter to them that I got 3 marks less than you, they'll ask me why you could and I couldn't. They'll go on about how you are so talented and stuff. Making me think I'll never be enough to them, probably more like useless."
Do children have to be useful to their parents?
Well, I am not really good at comforting people, I was not sure what I was supposed to say.
Idiot say something! Don't just sit on the couch hugging her, doing nothing.
Holding her chin, I lifted her face to match our eye levels, and said, "Look at me, you definitely aren't useless. You are the most talented person I have ever known, Believe me, if I had to balance all the co-curricular activities you do, my result would have been worse than yours. Now, tell me something are you happy with your marks?" I asked her, emphasizing the 'you'.
"Yeah, I am, I worked hard for it," Aanya said sniffling after keeping silent for a bit.
"Listen carefully, in life, what's important is whether you are happy with yourself, your first priority should be your own happiness, your satisfaction. It's not possible to make everyone happy, at the end of the day, when you are on your deathbed, someone else's opinion would not matter, all you would think of is, your regrets, your choices, your success. Believe me, in life, you need to learn how to prioritize yourself before anything. Never underestimate yourself, and don't doubt your capabilities, once do that, you also give others the opening to doubt you," I said in my most serious tone ever.
"You really could turn into a good therapist," she said smiling.
Well, she was smiling, so I wasn't really bad at consoling.
Aanya's P.O.V.
The position we were in was weird. He was on the couch, and I was on his lap. All this time, while pouring out my heart to him, I hadn't really paid attention, now that I wasn't descending into madness thinking about my parents' reactions, I started to feel embarrassed about our position.
Aarav spoke, "Aanya are you okay? Your face is really red right now."
Was I blushing? Oh lord, why did you have to make me so unlucky? Technically the position we were in would have made anyone blush! It's not my fault really.
He moved his hand to touch my head probably wanting to check whether I had a fever. Yeah, people, this was the level of weirdness Aarav had in him. On finding that a person's face has turned red, he doesn't take the possibility, of the person blushing, into consideration, he assumes it might be fever.
The moment his hand made contact with my skin, a jolt of electricity passed through me. The way he quickly pulled back his hand made me think he felt that too.
The way he looked into my eyes, it felt like they were searching for something in them. Once I felt we were looking into each other's eyes for too long, I averted my eyes to break the contact. This seemed really wrong, the way we were sitting, the way my hands were still wrapped around me, and the way he held me in the embrace, it was too intimate for just friends. Moreover, if someone walks in at this moment, we'll both be in great trouble. They'll make a whole story out of literally nothing.
I quickly got off his lap. He was surprised at my sudden movements but said nothing and got up.
Rubbing the back of the head with his hands, he said, "Er, um sorry if I made it weird."
"Nah it's fine, and thanks," I replied.
"You're welcome, just to let you know, you could always tell me if something bothers you," he said.
Wow, who thought the guy who had been a pain in my ass since second grade would become my therapist one day.
"Aanya I had something to tell you," he said abruptly.
"Yea?"
"Erm... You got nice hair," he said laughing awkwardly. Yeah, he definitely wasn't going to say that.
"Thanks ig? You sure that was what you wanted to say?"
"No... Um... Your eyes are really pretty," he said awkwardly. Smooth, real smooth and again that wasn't what he was going to say.
"Thanks again, are you sure that's it?" I questioned.
"Willyoubemygirlfriend?" He said in a breath. Damn, did I hear it right? He was asking me to be his girlfriend? After rejecting all those girls in school, who apparently would give anything to be his girlfriend, he was asking me out.
I am not ashamed to admit it, I have never been in a relationship. And Aarav Verma the biggest green flag, rather a green forest was asking me out? Was it a prank? Would he laugh at my reaction? Well, he did seem serious and somewhat nervous.
"Are you joking?"
"No, it's just that..."
"Just that?" I said. Aarav Verma, who practically is our school's most fluent speaker, was fumbling with his words? This is new. No readers, I am not blind like Naruto who didn't know about Hinata's crush. Although I am not completely sure, I knew I did have some effect on him. Going into a relationship before the boards did not seem to be a good idea, but sometimes risks are worth taking, aren't they?
"Erm, I.. umm.."
Aww, he's so cute when he's nervous. I am not going to lie, I believe he would make a perfect boyfriend. Well brain said-
You idiot, before boards? You can have all the freedom in your love life after you've paved your way to your dream. I mean what about getting into IIT? You can't afford to be distracted!
That's true, but I'll manage maybe? I decided to agree to what my heart said-
Believe in yourself, dummy! You've been balancing things for the whole of your life, you can't balance studying with your love life? Sure you can. Life is about balancing stuff, isn't it? Give it a try.
That's what I loved about my heart, it was optimistic.
"I will"
"What?"
"I'll be your girlfriend," I said smiling.
"You aren't kidding right?"
I walked up to him and planted a kiss on his cheek. The spark that passed through me, assures me that we surely had chemistry. Aarav was stunned, I noticed he stopped breathing.
"Earth to Aarav," I said holding each of his hands in mine. My words had probably broken his trance. A giddy smile made its home on Aarav's perfect lips.
"You'll be my first-ever girlfriend, you know that?" I said with that same giddy smile.
"Is it so? I am so happy that I am your first," I said putting my hands around his neck. As if instinctively, his hands circled my waist.
"You're so pretty, you know that? Don't let anyone else make you think otherwise," Aarav said looking into my eyes.
"Were you always this cringe?" I said in a teasing tone.
"Can't help it," Aarav said with the same smile. Probably that giddy smile had made Aarav's lips its permanent home.
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Back to present
Yeah, that was how I fell in love with the boy who made me realise how to find true happiness in life. We dated till our third year in college. Let me tell you something, we broke up after we understood that we needed to go in our different paths. We understood childhood relationships aren't meant to last forever, unlike what they depict in movies and books. We knew a long-distance relationship was becoming difficult with our studies and all. We parted on good terms. I won't lie in saying that I didn't miss him after our 'separation', he had become my comfort zone, and he was someone with whom I could talk about anything. Although I wanted to get back with him, I knew we had agreed to go on different paths. So even though I typed many messages about what I wanted, I deleted them every time. Now we aren't in touch anymore but I am positive that he has achieved his dream. However hard it might have been to get over him, after all these years all I remember are those good times we had together. Thinking about him still makes me smile. Love comes in different forms, maybe this was one.
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Hey guys! I am back with another short story that came to my mind. I believe this isn't the best I can do, but I'll keep trying. Hope, I won't bore you all with this. I guess I'll be able to improve with time.
All criticisms are allowed, feel free to point out the mistakes. And if you like it please do vote.
With love, Adrita...