Song: Clarity
Artistes: Zedd ft. Foxes
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A rush of cold liquid scorches my throat as I chug on the dark defined dew covered glass bottle.
This was my fourth drink and I was beginning to feel lightheaded and a little queasy. I know I'm going to regret my actions later on when the sweet rush of catecholamine secretion is gone. But right now, that was the last thing on my mind.
I can't believe he used me.
I greedily gulped down another mouthful of the bittersweet beer.
He said I was his friend.
He claimed that he cared about me.
But it was all a lie.
I swallow another large sip.
He didn't truly care about me. I was just another pawn of his in a sick, manipulative game of checkers. He was executing all of the big moves, and I? I was stuck as a minority.
It has been a little over thirty minutes since I've last seen any sign of Dontae. And as selfish as it sounded, I kind of hoped that I wouldn't have to see him ever again until the next lifetime.
Screw that. I didn't want to see a wink of his face or his body. Nor his beautiful set of brown eyes that always seem to make me fumble and stumble awkwardly whenever he glances in my direction. Not in this life or if there's a next. And certainly not in the afterlife... if that exists.
That stupid, no good, good-looking son of a big beautiful businesswoman was an ass and I just can't believe I let him play me the way he did.
I guess all playboys do is play afterall.
I couldn't explain it, but my heart was in pain. After what happened tonight... it felt like my heart was just now feeling the heavy aftereffects of the hurt that Dontae inflicted in me.
I wouldn't mind if someone came up to me and ripped my heart from my ribcage. Maybe then, the ropes dragging the heavy burdens on my shoulders could snap and I would finally be put out of my misery right here, right now.
I lifted the bottle to my bright, guava pink, lipstick smudged lips. Tilting the glass upwards and swallowing the last drops of the tangy concoction when someone plopped down on the tall, leather clad stool situated a few feet to my left.
Too caught up in my feelings to spare a glance at the imposter, I slammed the damp, unfilled beer glass onto the fancy, marble countertop residing in the centre of the lavish kitchen and began chugging on another bottle.
I was very content with ignoring the person sitting next to me. But for some reason, even in my half drunken state of mind, I was still forced to be a victim to the taunts and alarming screams of my hyper-aware mind.
There was also this nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach urging me to listen to my mind's taunts.
So I took one quick glance at the intruder to put my distressed mind at ease.
But boy did I regret it.
What was meant to be a simple glance turned into a wide-eyed, terrified stare as a pair of bright, familiar, emerald green eyes froze me in place.
Holy. Mackerel.
This was not happening.
No.
This was all a dream.
But the mirth that was now glimmering unashamedly in those green eyes as they stared down at me assured me that this was very real. That, and the wet bottle wrapped in-between my palm that was slowly numbing my fingers.
Feeling self conscious, I grabbed the hem of my skin tight dress and tugged it downwards. But that wasn't remotely helpful as the top of my dressing was hauled downwards and my cleavage was more visible for anyone within propinquity.
The unwanted interloper's eyes dipped downwards, following the view that the dress allowed and I shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot.
What is he doing here?
As if reading my mind, he speaks.
"Since you're here, I guess Sean's not far behind. Where is he?"
I looked at him warily.
"Aren't you his best friend? You're the one who should know that."
My words were tainted with unhidden aggression.
It was like my fight or flight syndrome was kicking into gear, fuelling a sudden titillation of anger and forcing the sensors of my rage to spike dramatically to the point where my anger had no choice but to spew out of me like hot lava from a volcano.
He chuckled dryly and sipped the beer in his hand.
"Well, judging by that answer, I guess that means that Sean's not around to witness this then."
He suddenly hopped off the stool and grabbed my arm, consequently pulling me up with him. The cold beer slips from my other hand out of pure shock and my body tensed. It surprised me that the bottle didn't topple over and drench the fancy marble top counter with its acidic contents.
With wide eyes, I glanced around and that's when I noticed that the few kids that were loitering in the kitchen had now left and it was just me and the boy whose name I still couldn't remember.
Panic swirled in me and I tried tugging my hand towards me, but his grip was too strong.
I really need to exercise more.
"What are you doing?" I gasped.
"Isn't it obvious," he said. Then his lips spreaded into a derisive grin. "I'm having some fun with you."
Bile rises to my throat and immediately, all I wanted was to curl up into a tight ball and cry my heart out till I was a red eyed, dehydrated mess. It felt like I couldn't fight him off when something that Dontae once said to me popped into my mind.
"Deep down inside of you, there's a strength that even you don't realize that you have. And when the time comes, you're going to have to use that strength."
He began to pull me through the kitchen door and towards the large living room area.
My insides were running wild with an intense case of anxiety and I didn't want to draw any attention to myself. I was still fearing that people would judge me.
What would they think of me?
What other rumor would they spread about me?
"Let me go," I hissed at my intimidator.
I tugged my hand towards me once again. But he wouldn't let go to no avail.
Instead of freeing me, he kept a tight hold of my hand and reached down over the loud, booming music to speak in my ear.
"Oh, don't be shy Vannessa. I know that you're easy. And I know you want me so let's just skip the drama and get to the main act upstairs."
My body shivered and my face scrunched in disdain. I shrugged my shoulders repeatedly to get rid of my oppressor. But he wouldn't relent.
"Let me go, you bastard!"
I felt tears prick the corners of my eyes.
Seeing that we were now in a room full of people, I really expected someone to come to my rescue but that didn't happen. Everyone was either too busy being drunk out of their minds, invested in their phones or spelled by the thunderous music that resonated from the large speakers in the living room.
We took a turn and just as we stepped on the first step of the staircase, I felt the adrenaline rush through me hotly. And with a force I didn't know I could muster, I dug my wedge heels into the boy's shin.
Just like that, he let go of me and I licked the sweet nectar of freedom.
"Ow! You motherf—" His deeply pained groan overrode the rest of his sentence when I elbowed him in his stomach.
Big mistake.
I screamed and winced when his strong hands yanked my hair harshly and pulled me backwards.
"You're going to regret that!"
I shivered in repugnance and my hands reached up in an attempt to retrieve my hair from his deathly grasp. I could see spots in my vision and I could feel my strength deteriorating as he pulled himself up behind me and wrapped an arm around my waist possessively.
"Who knew little Vannessa was this wild," he chuckled into my ear and I struggled in his hold.
"Stop struggling," he demanded. "And shut the hell up."
The front that I put up of being this big, bold, girl was now crumbling and I felt the first warm tear as it trickled down my cheek.
I guess Dontae's little step didn't work.
He began guiding me up the stairs again. This time, he applied more force than before and his grip tightened on my wrist.
I glanced around frantically and just as I was about to emit a scream from the pain shooting through my arm, something unexpected happened.
The boy released my hand and I nearly fell backwards, but caught myself at the last moment.
I spun around just in time to witness the boy being yanked forward, japed and shoved harshly against the metal railing of the staircase.
A few onlookers who seemed to be sobering up a little gathered around to watch the scene as it played out before them.
Wham!
"How dare you touch her you asshole!"
Wham!
"I'm going to destroy you and send you back to the pits of hell where you came from, you dickwad!"
Bam. Bam. Bam.
Dontae jabbed the boy in his stomach, causing him to double over in pain. But he didn't get a chance to attack or recover since Dontae grabbed his neck and squeezed. Tighter and tighter. He was treating the boy like he was a rag doll and a part of me felt satisfied seeing my attacker being beaten up.
Dontae raised his arm to send a harsh blow and I rushed towards the two boys, grabbing Dontae's hand just in time.
"Dontae no!"
He glanced at me incredulously and Sean's friend glared at me.
"Vannessa, move."
"Dontae no." I defied stubbornly, trying to pry his fingers from around the boy's neck. "Don't do this. If you hurt him then you're no better than him."
Dontae released sharp, quick breaths. I thought he was going to attack Sean's friend again, but he surprised me by releasing the boy. Sean's friend fell to the floor of the stairs on his knees and gripped the metal railing of the stairs for desperate support.
I ran down the stairs and stood behind Dontae on the last step and stood behind him. Fearful that he might attack again, I gripped his arm cautiously.
Dontae glared down at the dismantled boy on the ground. The music had now stopped, surprisingly, and we were the centre of everyone's attention.
"Walk with eyes in the back of your head James. If I catch you around her again, I'm going to kill you."
The boy, James, didn't say anything. He just wiped his bloody lip as he tried to compose himself from his beaten position on the floor.
Then Dontae grabbed my arm and led me through the crowd of disconcerted teenagers until we exited the large house.
He was fuming and I could almost feel the anger that was emanating from his body. But I was also angry so too bad for him.
I ripped my arm from his hold and stood a few steps before him.
Why was he behaving like this?
"Calm down, Dontae. It's not that serious."
I rolled my eyes and stumbled a bit as I tried to stand straight.
He looked at me like I've somehow grown two heads and attempted to grab me. But the glare I shot him froze him in place.
Dontae sighed and ran a hand over his face.
"He tried to hurt you, Vannessa. How can you expect me to just calm down, forget that he hurt you and stand by doing nothing?"
His hands curled into tight balls and his face scrunched into an unfriendly sneer.
He turned back to the front door, and took two strides towards the direction of the front door. Panicking, I had to grab a hold of his arm to hold him back.
My mind began conjuring up horrid theories like, what if he kills James this time? As much as I was still upset with the guy for assaulting me, I don't want him dead. Neither do I want to see Dontae rotting in a jail cell.
"Dontae no! Don't hurt him!"
Dontae spins around to face me, anger blinding his vision.
"Why shouldn't I?"
"Because I can take care of myself."
He scoffed.
"It didn't seem that way a couple minutes ago."
I sighed heavily.
"Dontae look, you don't have to worry about me Dontae. Go worry about Madeline. She needs you way more than I do."
I think the vein in his forehead exploded. In the fluorescent lighting emitting from the bulbs placed outside the fancy house, I could see his fists closing and opening repeatedly.
"Leave her out of this Nessie. She has nothing to do with any of this."
I scoffed.
"Fine. Whatever."
I crossed my arms heatedly.
"I'll just pretend like tonight never happened then."
I'm about to turn away when Dontae grabs my arm and pulls me towards him. His sweet, comforting cologne seeped into my senses and my heartbeat sped up. It took great force for me to not make contact with his face.
"Vannessa," he sighed, his anger calming drastically. "You know that I care about you, right?"
I scoffed.
"You don't believe me?"
The accusatory tone that he was using forced me to pull my gaze from his deep green shirt and to his perfectly sculptured face. The brown in his eyes was entrancing. And his features were much softer than they were a few moments ago when he was raging like a rabid cage animal.
Damn him and his good looks.
"Does it matter?"
I never meant for my response to be harsh. Or as hurtful as it was. But it just came out that way. And it was too late to take it back.
Oh how I wished I could take it back.
Dontae sighed and unwrapped his fingers from my arms. I could tell that his eyes wanted to say a lot more, but his facial features contorted into an unfathomable expression.
And just like always, I suddenly couldn't tell what he was thinking. But after a few painful seconds, he muttered something that shattered my heart into minuscule pieces.
"I guess not."
I don't know what I expected. But that was certainly not the answer I expected even though I was acting a bit hostile.
I pursed my lips and took a few steps backwards before turning and heading towards the street scattered with haphazardly parked cars and a few stumbling teenagers.
I was a few steps away when Dontae yelled, "where are you going?"
"Home," I said, not bothering to turn back to look at him or stop.
"Wait!"
I spun around.
Why can't this guy give me a break? I've had enough drama for one day.
"Dontae I've had a really long day so if you could jus-"
"Let me drop you home."
I froze mid-speech and felt the unmistakable blush as it crept up my neck before it settled onto my cheeks. I tucked my hair behind my ear out of embarrassment.
I nibbled on my bottom lip and twisted my fingers nervously.
"Yeah," I mumbled. "Thanks."
He nodded slightly before heading to his sleek, black car which stood out among the many that were strewn carelessly along the roadside. I followed closely behind him.
Honestly, I forgot that I came here with Dontae and that he's my only drive home.
I sighed deeply.
So much for not wanting to see his stupid face ever again.