Advance Ramadan Mubarak ❤️
Enjoy <3
I was stressed about a lot of things, so I decided to upload it so you guys will be happy, and your comments will make me happy too. Don't forget to comment.
Instead of episode 87,88,89...I am naming it 87.1,87.2,87.3... It's easier for me to classify. It doesn't change anything, though. Just for my memory.
There won't be update on Eid. I am uploading everything today ❤️
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"Jee, kahiye. Kya kehna hai aapko? kyu milna tha aap ko mujh se?" It was a cafe. Two women were sitting on a table in the corner. One had a green stone ring on her hand. The other woman's fingers were empty. However, she was wearing bracelets on her wrist. She had asked the question. The other woman took a deep breath. She didn't have an answer. But she had to think of an answer. She couldn't tell anyone about Hira. She had seen this woman with Sherazi. Today, while following her, she had come to this mall and wanted to stop her and talk to her. After some time the woman heard Sherazi's name and agreed to talk to her.
(Why did you want to meet me? What do you want to talk about?)
"Sherazi ko kaisay janti hain aap?" She had seen this woman with Sherazi one day in the mall. (How do you know Sherazi?)
"Aap hain koun aur main aap ko apni zati zindagi ke baray main kyun bataun gi? "
(Who are you and why would I tell you anything about my personal life?)
"Aap se sirf thori madad chahiye. Mein aap ko mukamal tafseel nahi de sakti, lekin iss sab ka talluq Sherazi se hai. "
(I just need a little help. I can't give you the full details, but it all has to do with Sherazi.)
"Agar is ka talluq mujh se nahi hai, to jis se bhi ho, mujhe farq nahi parta. Mere paas waqt nahi hai. Agar aap ko zaroori baat karni hai to jaldi karen."The woman was probably not interested in talking.
(If it doesn't concern me, then whatever it is, I don't care. I don't have time. If you have something important to say, hurry.)
"Dekhen, main Sherazi ki pehli bi. ."She stopped. She could not give many details about herself.
(Look, I am Sherazi's first wi—.)
"Aap Sherazi ki kya lagti hain ?" This time she asked directly. One hand continued to play with the green ring.
(What is your relationship with Sherazi?)
"Kya? main unki kuch bhi nahi lagti hoon. Karobar ki wajah se mulakat ho jati hai, aur bas. Aur ab main ja rahi hoon. Mujhe laga aap ko waqai koi zaroori baat karni hai to main ruk gayi. Pata nahi kahan kahan se aa jate hain." The woman picked up her purse and left. The hand with the green ring was left on the table behind. The hand felt empty. As if something had left the hand, an opportunity.
(What? I don't have anything to do with him at all. We meet for business, and that's it. And now I'm going. I thought you had something really important to say, so I stopped.)
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When the car stopped, he tried to start the car again with a frown on his forehead. It was ten o'clock at night. He was returning home from the hospital. The road was deserted. It was a sparsely populated area. Due to heavy traffic on the other road, he took that route. Even after several attempts. When the car did not start, he got out of the car. Opened the front of the car in the light of the phone and looked at it, but the problem was not solved and the car did not start. He got back into the car. Ayaan was in the hospital. Hassan was out of town. He called Abbas. The phone was not picked up. The thought that came to his mind, he immediately shook it off. He was not going to call that mad and angry woman. His ego wouldn't allow it. There was a problem with his car yesterday, which he hadn't had time to fix. Hoor had offered to pick him up and drop him off in another car, but Ahil had refused. They had a fight over this too. Now he could not disrespect himself by asking for her help. As an attempt, he called Ayaan. As expected, the phone was not picked up. He took a deep breath and decided to call his friend.
"Hello."
"There is a problem. The car has broken down and..." At the sound of ticking on the glass, Ahil turned and looked at the glass. There were two boys on a motorbike with their faces covered. Ahil hung up the phone immediately and reluctantly lowered the glass on their cue, what else could he do? Fifteen minutes later he was missing his wallet, phone and money in the car. He hit the steering wheel angrily. What would have happened if he had called that witch first? At least there was a car in the house! She could have come to pick him up! The next fifteen minutes were spent cursing himself, Hoor, Fate and the family for this marriage.
Almost half an hour had passed. He had lost his phone, wallet and car key (which he didn't understand now that the car was with him, what was the reason for taking the key?). Even walking alone was not without danger. Cars passed by several times, but people didn't stop because of the increasing crimes in the city. Those who did stop a couple of times, they were not sure that he was a normal, peaceful citizen. After spending the last 24 hours in the hospital, he did not look like a normal human being. His hair was disheveled, his eyes were red. His identity card etc. were also in the wallet. All he had to do was make a phone call but no one had let him call so far.
Exhausted, he stopped the car and read Ayatul Kursi and started waiting there. After about 15 minutes, seeing the lights of the police car, he got out and waved. He was not taking a taxi because he could not leave the car unlocked. After telling the police about his case, they decided to let him go after satisfying himself that he did not have any weapons. His car was safe with the police (at least he thought so. And hoped so).
Standing outside the door of the house, Ahil asked the policeman for a phone call. He was very tired. At that point, all he had to do was go inside and rest. He held the phone and dialed Hoor's number. If he had dialled it earlier, he would have avoided getting stuck in this problem! Without thinking, the call from an unknown number at 12 o'clock in the night was immediately picked up. At the request of the policeman, Ahil put the phone on speaker. Suspicious people. He could only think.
"Hello?"
"Hello? Who?"
"Ahil---"
"Kyun? aur yeh number kis ka hai ?" Ahil cursed her in his heart.
(Why? And whose number is this?)
"Kisi aur ke number se kar raha hoon. darwaza kholo main bahar khara hoon. "
(I'm using someone else's number. Open the door, I'm standing outside.)
"Apni zaati chaabi nahi le kar gaye thay ?" Hoor did not forget to taunt.
(Didn't take your personal key?)
"Bhool gaya tha." (I forgot.)Ahil replied through gritted teeth. After a few moments, Hoor opened the door. She looked at the police with questioning eyes, but they left seeing a woman open the door.
Ahil sat silent for a long time after telling her the whole thing. Hoor tried to find something around him.
"Kya dhoond rahi ho ?" Ahil was upset. He was already worried, and this woman, on top of it. (What are you looking for?)
"Zabaan. .. Chor woh bhi le gaye? ?? ?? ?? ? ?" Ahil clenched his fists and stared at her with red eyes. Hoor suppressed her smile. (Your tongue. Thieves took that too???????)
"Mujhe ghoorna band karen,phone main koi tracker waghera laga kar rakhna tha na." Ahil held her phone. (Stop staring at me. Shouldn't you have a tracker on your phone?)
"Iss main tracker hai? "
(Does it have a tracker?)
"No."
"Toh phir muh bandh rakho, na tracker hai nah tameez." Ahil grabbed her phone and wanted to call the police. Hoor was looking at him. (Then keep your mouth shut. Nor tracker nor shame.)
"Woh. . Waisay balance nahi hai iss mein. " (Umm...There is no balance in it.)
"Nah tracker hai, nah tameez, nah balance ,. Nah sharam hai, nah lehaaz. Aqal bhi nahi hai. Tum mujhe ye batao tumahray paas hai kya? " Hoor got up. She held her phone. The keys of the car that were lying next to him , and her phone.
(No tracker, no distinction, no shame, no manners. Not even wisdom. You tell me, what do you even have?)
"Mera purse, phone, aur gaari ki chaabi. . Jo ab aap ke paas nahi hai." She waved the three objects in front of him. (My wallet, phone, and car keys. Which you don't have anymore.)
"Ye wania baji ki gaari ki chaabi hai. " (This is Wania Baji's car key.)
"Haan mujhe zaroorat thi to un se li hai aik din ke liye. Tabhi aap ko bola bhi tha main madad kar sakti hon lekin nahi, meri madad lainay se toh shaan main gustaakhi ho jaye gi! "
(Yes, I needed it, so I took it from her for a day. That is why I told you that I could help, but no, taking my help would make you less of a man!)
"Tum chup kar jao bas maaf kardo mujhe."
Ahil was tired and left the scene because this was the only way to end the discussion.
(Please shut up. That's it. Forgive me.)
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"Hiraaaaa." Nazneen called out to Hira from the verandah. If she went somewhere now, she would not leave Hira at home. Even today, Hira was at the house of a trusted friend.
"Hiraaaaah." Nazneen now called out in a loud voice. She didn't want to go in. She didn't want to be in a crowd of people. She wasn't feeling well. Yes, she knew it was neither the movie nor her the actress who knew it all. She was trying her best to get to know the people around Sherazi. Maybe some kind of help would come from somewhere. There was no other way for her. Standing like this, she saw the sound of the door opening, and Hira was holding her bag in front of her. There were only a few toys and half a coloring book in the bag. The colors were also kept together. Nazneen went ahead and took it from her hand and took it towards the car.
"I want to eat pakoray." In her words, Nazneen turned the car quietly. Nowadays she lived in a state of regret. Regret for not being able to protect Hira. And under the influence of this regret, she used to accept everything he said. Hira was happy that Nazneen used to accept her words without saying anything. She was nine years old.
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"For one thing, I don't understand people. If they see you with anyone, they will think just about anything. You also misunderstood and today someone asked me what my relationship is with one of the clients."
"Toh tum yun kisi ke sath bahar jaaogi to koi bhi dekh kar galat hi samjhay ga. Jab bhi kisi larka larki ko bike ya gaari main sath dekha to sab se pehlay hum yahi sochte hain ke chakkar chal raha hoga. Isharay par gaari main behan bhai baithy hon to log Allah jori salamat rakhay ki dua day kar chalay jatay hain. Kher hai, dil par mat lo. "(So if you go out with someone like that, then anyone will think it's wrong. Whenever we see a boy or girl together on a bike or in a car, the first thing we think is that they are a couple. Even when the siblings are sitting, people would pray that Allah keeps the couple safe. It's fine, don't take it to heart.)
"She Wasted my time." Raima's mood was still unpleasant.
"How much?"
"Ten minutes."
"Don't be so practical that you don't have feelings and humanity inside. Nothing happens in ten minutes. I'm making coffee, come and have it." Ayesha got up and went to the kitchen while Raima left her purse there and moved to her room.
"You didn't tell Hassan bhai that you were going to Islamabad?"
"No."
"Why?"
"Hassan mere liye itna ahem nahi hai ke main zindagi ka har faisla us ki marzi se karoon. Mujhe nahi pasand ke mujhe kuch bhi, koi bhi faisla karne se pehlay kisi ko batana parre ya puchna parre. .. .."
(Hassan is not so important to me that I will make every decision in life by his will. I don't like that I have to tell or ask anyone before I decide anything.)
Raima's speech was interrupted by the expression on Ayesha's face. Her eyes immediately went to Ayesha's hand. She went to the phone and immediately brought it to her ears. She immediately said "hello" but the call was already cut.
"You couldn't tell me he was on the phone?"
"Jo baat unke samne nahi keh sakti woh un ke peeche bhi mat kaha karo. Tum raho hamesha ki tarah selfish, aur khud parast. Kabhi kisi aur ke baray main mat sochna ke zindagi main masail sirf tumhe nahi hain. Bas –apne baare main socha karo. Kisi aur ke jazbaat aur ehsasat ka khayal kabhi nahi karna kyunkay tumhe practical si larki rehna hai aur jaz-bati nahi hona. Kya tumhe koi farq nahi parta ke tumahray aur hassan ke beech taluqaat kharab hai ya sahi hai? kya tumhari wajah se dosra kya mahsoos kar raha hai tumhe zara ehsas nahi hota ?" When Ayesha stopped, she saw Raima's face. Before Ayesha could say anything else, Raima stood up holding her phone. Without saying anything, she left Ayesha and went towards the room.
(Don't say behind his back what you can't say in front of him. Be as selfish as ever. Never think about anyone else that the problems in life are not just yours. Just care about yourself. Never think about someone else's feelings and emotions because you have to be a practical girl and not be emotional. Don't you care if you and Hassan are in a bad or good relationship? Do you not realize?)
"I said too much." In no time, Ayesha followed her.
"Nahi. Tum ne kuch ghalat nahi kaha. Tum sahih kehti ho, mujhe haq nahi hai ke agar mere sath masail hain, mera maazi takleef da hai to main kisi aur ko takleef dun. Hamaray masail hamare hotay hain aisha. un ka bahana bana kar kisi dosray ko takleef dena ghalat hai. Lekin yun jab tak aap theek nah hon kisi dosray insaan ko apni zindagi ka hissa bhi to nahi banana chahiye. Mein kabhi jazbati hoti hon to bohat hoti hoon aur kabhi be had be hiss. Jazbaat naam ki cheez ke baray main sochti bhi nahi hoon. Hassan se shadi aik. .. Woh aik jazbati blackmailng ke zair assar kya gaya faisla tha. Meri aur us ki zindagi ne jis mor par jana hai woh bahut alag hai. ek hansta muskurata insaan, jo mehfil ki jaan ho. Aur aik khamosh, mehfilon se daur bhaagti larki. Mere jaise log to mehfil kharab kar dete hain aur main shayad is ki zindagi main bhi yahi kar rahi hoon Uss ki khushiyan kharab kar rahi hoon. "
(No. You didn't say anything wrong. You are right, I have no right to hurt someone else if I have problems, my past is painful. Our problems are ours, Ayesha. By Making excuses for them, It is wrong to hurt someone else. But until you are fine, you should not let another human being be a part of your life. Sometimes I am very emotional and sometimes I am very insensitive. This thing called emotions, I don't even think about it. Marrying Hassan is one decision made under the influence of emotional blackmail. The direction my life and his life have taken are very different. A smiling person, who is the life of the party. And a quiet girl who runs away from parties. People like me spoil the party and I'm probably doing the same in his life. I'm spoiling his happiness.)
"Did he tell you this?"
"Har baat kehna zaroori nahi hai. Woh agar mujh se shikwa nahi kar raha to is ka matlab yeh nahi hai main kuch samajh nahi parhi. Mein jo kar rahi hon mujhe maloom hai. Mein nahi chahti meri wajah se sab ko masla ho. . Mein ne tabhi apni taraf se to yeh poori kahani hi khatam karne ki koshish ki thi. .. "
(It's not necessary to say everything. If he doesn't complain about me, it doesn't mean that I didn't understand anything. I know what I'm doing. I don't want everyone to have problems because of me. That's why, from my side, I tried to end this whole story.)
"Lekin is kahani ka ikhtitam aisay nahi likha tha, isi liye tum khatam nahi kar saki. Hassan bhai kya chahtay hain aur inhen kis cheez se masla hai, is baat ka faisla woh khud karen ge. Tum un sab ka faisla khud karkay koi aisa qadam nahi utha sakti. "
(But the end of this story was not written like that, that's why you couldn't finish it. What Hassan Bhai wants and what he has a problem with, he will decide for himself. You cannot decide all of it by yourself and take such a step.)
'My love should not be the last reason that tells you to commit suicide. I want me and my love to be the reason for you to live life, not to end it. Love teaches to live, not to end life. I wish that if you ever have suicidal thoughts, my thoughts will bring you back to life.' Hassan's words echoed in Raima's mind. Ayesha was right.
"Forget the past, forget it. Focus on the future." Ayesha put her hand on her shoulder.
"Tumhe maloom hai mujhe ek khwaab aaya tha. Is main aik choti si bachi thi. Sath aik mard aur aurat thay. Woh Karachi ka sahil pe kharay thay, doobta Sooraj aur Samand kinare. Woh khwaab bohat khubsoorat tha aisha. . Phir woh toot gaya. Shayad aik bohat taiz lehar aayi thi. Woh sab baha le gayi. .. Aisha. . Yeh mera bachpan tha. Mujhe mere khwabon main sirf mera bachpan dukhta hai. Mein kaisay maazi bhala dun? maazi meri zindagi ka hissa hai. Lekin main bohat behtar hon. Tumhe yaad hai jab baba ka qatal hua tha tab main kaisi ho gayi thi? ab to main bohat behtar hon lekin bas. .. Mein nahi Maan na chahti ke main ne sab chore diya. Mein kuch bhulana nahi chahti. Mujhe sab yaad rakhna hai. Kyunkay bhala dainay ka matlab hai jaise kuch hwa ho naa ho. Lekin yeh sab hua tha aisha. Bohat kuch hua tha. Mein nahi bhool pati woh golian. Woh khoon main lipta wujood. Woh koi ghair nahi tha aisha. Woh mere baba thay. "
(You know I had a dream. There was a little girl in it. There was a man and a woman. They were standing on the beach of Karachi. The sun was setting and the sea was on the edge. That dream was very beautiful, Ayesha. Then it broke. Maybe there was a very strong wave. It all washed away.. Ayesha. This was my childhood. I only see my childhood in my dreams. How can I forget the past? The past is part of my life. But I am much better. Do you remember how I was when Baba was killed? Now I am much better but that's it. I don't want to believe that I left everything. I don't want to forget anything. I want to Remember everything. Because to forget means as if nothing happened. But it all happened, Ayesha. A lot happened. I can't forget those bullets. That being covered in blood. He was not just anyone, Ayesha. He was my father.)
After a few moments, Ayesha got up. Before leaving, Ayesha had said something, asked something. Raima was looking for something in distant space. Something that was lost. Not a single tear had come out of her eyes.
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On the first day she had entered the office without permission. Then she did not need permission. Hassan did not raise his head at the sound of the door opening. Not many people came without permission. And he had recognized her by the ticking of her heel before the door opened. She sat on the chair without saying anything. That office was the same today as it was the first day. Yes, there was a clear difference. Earlier, there were red flowers in the vase on the table. Now they were white. She knew. She knew the reason but did not admit it. Like many of Hassan's words and efforts, she ignored it.
There was silence for a few moments.
"Some time ago you said that you wanted to see your father's case. Now what do you intend to do?" Raima turned her face away. He did not complain.
"Ayesha was saying that I should forget the past and move forward."
"Hmm. What do you want to do then?"
"Ayesha was saying that I should focus on life with you and not on the case." Hassan's hands stopped for a moment while flipping the paper.
"Mujhe aisha se baat karni hui main khud hi kar lunga. Mujhe yeh mat bataya karo duniya kya chahti hai. Mujhe duniya se matlab nahi hai. Mujhe tum se matlab hai. Tum apna batao." Raima took a deep breath. She was in a dilemma. She didn't know what decision to take. What will be right, what will be wrong.
(If I have to talk to Ayesha, I will do it myself. Don't tell me what the world wants. I don't care about the world. I care about you)
"I want to go to Karachi." Hassan shook his head. So what if he wasn't the most important thing in her life, at least he was a part of her life! He wanted to support her anyway. There was nothing bad about it, but he didn't know why it felt bad. Maybe it was the effect of what he heard on the phone yesterday.
"I will get two tickets soon."
"I can do it myself."
"No, I will."
"Koi jaldi nahi hai. Jab bhi waqt miley. "
(There's no rush. Whenever there's time.")
"Jo log ahem hon un ke liye waqt milnay ka intzaar nahi kya jata, waqt nikala jata hai. Tum fikar mat karo."
(For those who are important, you do not wait for the free time, you make time. Don't worry.)
Raima nodded. There was silence for a few more moments. He was busy. Raima stood up. Struggling to say something, she turned around. Hassan had closed the file after she left. He had to calm himself down.
'Kitni ghalt jaga jaa kr laga hai dil'
(This heart has connected to such a wrong place.)
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"I found out yesterday that your phone was stolen????? You didn't even tell me?" Hearing Wania's words, Ahil put back the glass of water. He was about to drink water when Wania asked a question. He was talking to her on the new phone at that time. Wania was calling on the previous one but it was closed so she called Hoor.
"I knew you would know that's why I didn't tell you."
"Is something wrong?"
"No."
"I feel it. Tell me if something has happened. I am not busy now. The children are sleeping."
"Kya zaroori hai ke agar main aap se behan bhai ki hesiyat se koi baat karoon toh woh Ayaan tak puhanche? "
(Is it necessary that if I talk to you about something as a sibling , it reaches Ayaan?)
"What do you mean?"
"Aap matlab janti hai. Mein bacha nahi hoon ki samajh na paon naa hi aap hain. Aap ko yaad hai ek dafa aap ne kaha tha ke main ne aap se apne masail, apni baatein karna bilkul chor di hain. Kayi saal se chod chuka hoon. Lekin yeh wajah hai. Kyunkay meri baat kabhi mere aur aap main rehti hi nahi hai aapi. Chor chuka tha aap se kuch bhi kehna lekin pata nahi kyun pareshan tha to jazbaat main keh gaya ke aap ke ilawa koi samajh bhi nahi sakta kisi se keh bhi nahi sakta. Lekin wohi hua, hamare beech nahi rahi baat. Ayaan ka beech main shamil hona ya mujhe samjhana zaroori nahi tha. Mein bewakoof nahi hoon jo samajh na sakoon ke aap ne usay sab bta diya. Yahan ki baat wahan mat kia karen. Agar karni ho to pooch liya karen ke kya samnay wala apni baat kisi teesray tak pahuchna chahta hai ya nahi. Isliye nahi kehta, na aap se nahi kisi aur se. Apni nand ko bhi bata dijiyega warna apne shohar se kahiye ga woh karde ye kaam. Apki nand ko bhi bohat shoq hai sab kuch jaan-nay ka aur mazay lainay ka. Sirf kahani jan-nay ka tajassus hota hai saari duniya ko. Mein –apne maazi ke baray main kabhi kisi se khul kar nahi keh paya. Aap se bhi kabhi kuch nahi keh paaya kyunkay mujhe aap par bhi aitbaar nahi tha. Aap ne kabhi rakha hi nahi. Aap ko achi beti banna tha, barri behan banna kabhi aap ke liye zaroori raha hi nahi tha."
((You know what I mean. I'm not a child to not understand and neither are you. Do you remember once you said that I have completely stopped talking to you about my problems, my things. I have stopped for many years. But this is the reason. Because our talk is never between me and you. I had stopped saying anything to you but I don't know why I was worried, so I said in my emotions that no one can understand it except you. But that's what happened. It wasn't between us. It wasn't necessary for Ayaan to intervene or explain to me. I'm not stupid enough not to understand that you told him everything. If you want to tell a third person, then ask if the person wants to get their issues to a third party or not. That's why I don't tell you, not to anyone else. You can also tell your sister in law, otherwise tell your husband. He will do this work. She is also very fond of knowing everything and having fun. The whole world is curious to know the story. I have never been able to open up to anyone. Never even to you. Couldn't say anything because I didn't trust you either. You never made me trust you. You had to be a good daughter, being an elder sister was never necessary for you.)
Ahil fell silent. There was silence on the other end of the line as well. A few moments later Wania's voice came.
"I didn't realize at all that you could feel bad." Wania did not say sorry because there was no need. It was not necessary to clear the matter between siblings.
"It's okay. Forget it. I just said it in anger. It's okay." Wania said Allah Hafiz and hung up the phone. Ahil took a deep breath and kept the phone aside.
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Hoor, Ahil and Shazia were sitting in the lounge at that time. There was a TV in front. It was after Asr. Both of them were at home as neither Ahil nor Hoor were spending much time in the hospital these days.
"Your mamu is coming at night."
"Why?"
"He just came to Lahore for work, that's why."
"He is coming to meet you, you can meet him. I don't want to meet anyone."
"Khandan walon main ikhtilafat ho jatay hain, agar ab woh a rahe hain to 10 minute bethne se kya hoga ?" Hoor suggested.
( Family members have differences. If he is coming now, what will happen if you sit for ten minutes.)
"Tumhara har baat main mashwara dena zaroori nahi hota. Jab kisi baat ka maloom nahi hai to mat bola karo. Fuzool ki chik chik." Hoor looked at Ahil and then at her mother-in-law. Then she looked at the cup in front of her. She felt bad. Hurt. ( It is not necessary for you to speak in everything. When you do not know anything, do not speak. Nonsense.)
"Ahil yeh kya tareeqa hai baat karne ka? koi tameez rahi hai ya nahi? " Shazia scolded Ahil. (What is this way of talking? Do you have any manners left or no?)
'Not the first time.' Hoor got up and left without saying anything.
"Kitna bura laga hoga us ko, kyun nahi bol sakti woh kuch? woh har baat main mashwara day sakti hai. Usay agar nahi maloom to yeh us ki ghalti nahi hai. Hadh kar di tum ne badtameezi ki. Mat aana mat milna kisi se lekin kam az kam us ko yun nahi kehna chahiye tha."
(She must have felt so bad. Why can't she say something? She can give advice on everything. If she doesn't know, it's not her fault. You behaved rudely. Don't come, don't meet anyone, but at least you shouldn't have said that.)
Ahil also got up and went to the room. He had called Abbas. Now he was talking to Abbas on the phone.
"Mujhe kisi ko safai dena pasand nahi hai. Jis ko mere baray main jo samjhna hai, khushi se samajh sakta hai."Ahil hung up the phone after saying the last thing.
( I don't like explaining things to anyone. Anyone can understand what they want to understand.)
"Kahan ja rahi ho ?" Hoor did not answer. Ahil tried to hold her hand and talk, but Hoor snatched her hand.
( Where are you going?)
"Mehmano ke sath bethnay ki koi zaroorat nahi hai. "
( There is no need to sit with guests.)
"Mere har mamle main sawal karna zaroori nahi hai. Jahan marzi jaoon, jo marzi karoon. Jab main kuch bhi sochon is se aap ko koi farq nahi parta, aur mujhe aap ki zaati zindagi main dakhal andazi ka haq nahi hai aur mera kisi baat main mahswara dena ya kuch maloom nahi ho to is par baat karna itna napasand hai to mujhe bhi aap ka kisi bhi qisam ka sawal karna ya yeh samjhna ke aap ka koi aisa haq hai, bilkul nahi pasand. Mein baar baar aisay alfaaz nahi bardasht kar sakti jis se mujhe yun mehsoos ho ke meri ahmiyat. .. Mein. .. Mein apni taraf se kuch bhi soch kar aisay alfaaz nahi bolna chahti jo galat hoon. Mein pehlay kayi baar bana aap ki taraf ki kahani sunay andazay laga chuki hon. .. Mein apni ghalti duhrana nahi chahti is liye behtar yahi hai ke hum is waqt is baray main mazeed baat nah karen. Jab mera gussa thora thanda hojaye ga to baat karlen ge. Kyunkay mujhe baat karni hai. Mujh se mazeed bardasht nahi ho raha ab. "
( It is not necessary to ask questions about what I do. I can go where I want, I can do what I want. If it does not matter to you what I think about anything, and I have no right to interfere in your personal life and give my advice on anything, I should not be talking about something I don't know, then I don't like you asking any kind of question or assuming that you have any such right either. I feel that my importance...I...I don't want to think anything from my side and say words that are wrong. I don't want to repeat my mistake, so it's best if we don't talk about it now. We'll talk when my anger cools down a bit. Because I have to talk. I can't take it anymore..)
She stopped. A look at him. The anger returned. She turned to the table staring at him. A dark colored lipstick was taken out from inside with anger. She opened it and put it on her lips. She was also looking at him in the glass. After putting on lipstick, she opened the drawer and put on whatever bangle or bracelet she saw in front of her and turned towards him. She left the room with a bang. All this preparation was done knowingly to make Ahil angry. After she left, Ahil clenched his fists and looked at the table in front of him. Then he went ahead and opened the drawer. Lipstick appeared in front. He grabbed it and opened it. It was a dark color, of course. Still, he thought to confirm. Involuntarily, he moved his hand to his lips, then moved it back, what the hell was he about to do? Ahil applied lipstick on his hand. Yes, that was the color that Hoor had applied. There were more with the same lid. Ahil involuntarily opened one of them and put it in his hand. Hoor might have applied this! Ahil picked up the third. Now he felt as if Hoor had hit that one. All three were the same. He did not understand the difference. He glanced at the three, then held one in his hand and kept the other two back. He stared at it for a few moments, then turned to the mirror, opened the lid, and using the lipstick on the glass as a pen, vented his anger by praising Hoor. Had to get it out somewhere! After finishing the writing, he turned back and looked at the glass. Then a glance at his pen, which was almost finished. But his anger had subsided. So be it! He put the lipstick back there and went to the toilet to wash his hands.
۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔
Hoor was sitting in the lounge with the guests at that time. Only Hoor and Shazia were present in the family. Hassan and Malik did not come from office due to urgent work.
"How's your job going?" Hoor smiled at Ahil's uncle's question.
"Alhamdulillah. Very good." About the same time Ahil entered the lounge.
"You don't visit us much, you should come more." This was said by Hoor to Ahil's uncle as soon as she saw Ahil enter the lounge.
"Where are you going? When will you come?" Shazia asked after seeing him going outside.
"Neither do I know where I am going nor when will I come."
"His health is not good, that's why he is like this..." Shazia wanted to clean up his image on his behavior, which Ahil did not like at all.
"Mein tees saal ka hon ammi. do saal ka nahi hoon ke bukhaar hua aur chirchira hogaya. "
(I'm a thirty-year-old mom. I'm not two years old when I get a fever and get irritable.)
"Kya hua hai phir ? Now the question was asked by the uncle.
(What happened then?)
"Seerhion se gir gya tha. Fikar mat karen, kuch nahi hua. Nah hont se khoon baha nah chehray par kisi qisam ke nishaan aaye. Nah jism par neel. Bas thora sa haath murr gaya tha. Mera intezar mat kijiye ga ammi." Now there was complete silence in the lounge. Hoor saw the faces of Uncle and Shazia. She did not understand anything, but on the light of the car coming in from the window, she grabbed her phone and immediately ran outside. Where was he going? In such anger, she did not want to let him go alone.
(Fell down the stairs. Don't worry, nothing happened. No bleeding from the lip, no marks on the face. No bruises on the body. Just a little twist of the hand. Don't wait for me, mom.)
Seeing Hoor moving towards the car, Ahil stopped for a moment. Seeing her, he became angry, but he stopped the car silently.
Hoor sat in the car without saying anything. Their journey started in silence.
"Where are you going?" Ahil ignored. She frowned.
"Mein ne kuch poocha hai. Mujhe aap se baar baar poochnay ka koi shauk nahi hai."
(I've asked something. I don't like asking you again and again.)
"Mujhe tum, ya tum se baat karne main zara bhi dilchaspi nahi hai. Chup kar jao . Mein waise hi iss waqt shadeed gusse main hoon. "
(I'm not at all interested in you, or talking to you. Shut up. I'm really pissed right now anyway.)
'Kab nahi hoty ghussay mein.' Hoor kept quiet, saying in her heart, but she felt the speed of the car was too fast.
(When are you not pissed?)
"Gaari aahista chalayein. Aap ko apni zindagi Aziz ho naa ho, mujhe bohat Aziz hai." Ahil ignored her.
(Ahil, stop the car. Park it aside so we can talk calmly or what's the problem? That way we or someone else might get hurt.)
"Ahil, gaari rokain. Aik taraf khari karkay hum sukoon se baat kar saktay hain na masla kya hai? ?? is tarah hamein ya kisi aur ko nuksan ho sakta hai."
Ahil had applied the brakes to avoid the vehicle coming from the right side. They were not hurt because they were wearing a seat belt, but the shock was very strong. The vehicle had stopped. Hoor's hand was on her heart. Breathing quietly for a few moments, she felt the atmosphere again, and the anger returned.
"Nahi nahi, break laganay ki kya zaroorat thi? thook dete. ek hi dafa qissa khatam ho jata." Hoor tried to control her anger but at that time her anger had gone beyond his. (No, no, what was the need to apply the break? Just let it go into the other car. The story would have ended in one go.)
"I stop—."
"Chup. Bilkul chup. Khabardar aik bhi fuzool lafz bola."
(Quiet. Absolutely Quit. Be careful not to say a single useless word.)
Hoor unbuckled her seat belt while pointing her finger at him. Ahil was silent for the time being in front of her anger. He had a realization in his heart as to what he was going to do. Hoor closed the door of the car and coming from the other side opened the door towards Ahil and signaled him to get out. Ahil came out without saying anything and sat in Hoor's place. Hoor took the driving seat while Ahil sat beside her with his head bowed. He was silent. He was supposed to be silent. Hoor drove the car forward. They were near the motorway at that time.
"Where were you going?" Hoor had asked in a serious tone without looking at him.
"I do not know."
"Toh gaari kidhar le ja rahe thay? Ayaan bhai ki taraf ka rasta bhi nahi hai yeh. Motorway ki taraf aa gaye hain. "
(So where were you taking the car? It's not even the way to Ayaan Bhai. We have come to the motorway.)
"Mujhe nahi pata. Ayaan ki taraf nahi jarahay hum. Kisi ki bhi taraf nahi jarahay. Mujhe kahin bhi nahi jana. Tumhe ghar jana hai to tumhe chor deta hoon lekin mera nahi pata. "
(I don't know. We're not going to Ayaan. We're not going to anyone. I'm not going anywhere. If you want to go home, I'll leave you, but I don't know.)
"Agar aap bhai ke dost nah hotay to zaroor jane bhi deti." Hoor shook her head. Without saying anything else, she drove the car towards the motorway. While paying the toll on the motorway, she stopped the car for a few moments. It was night. She had to think about where she was going.
(If you weren't my brother's friend, I would have let you go and hit this car in another car.)
"Where?" This time there was not so much anger in the voice. There was a normal tone but the awkwardness and unfamiliarity was definitely there.
"Kahin bhi. Lekin yahan se daur, koi khubsurat jagah. Jahan sukoon ho,ziyada log nah hoon." Hoor glanced at Ahil's closed eyes. (Anywhere. But away from here. Somewhere nice. Somewhere quiet. Not too many people.)
He looked very tired. She felt bad. Then she immediately turned her face away. Why would she feel bad? She didn't feel bad. She remembered his words. Toughened her heart back. It should stay tough. If it was gentle, it would always suffer.
Hoor had moved the car forward silently. She knew her destination. Beautiful and quiet place. Beautiful and quiet city.
"Chala logi ?"At his words, the way Hoor looked at him, he didn't say anything the whole journey. (Will you be able to drive?)
'Is waqt to mere paas license na hota, to bhi itni himmat nahi honi chahiye thi ke yeh sawaal karen lekin bas wahi, khud ko sab se behtar aur hamesha sahi samajhne wali aadat!'
(At this time, even if I didn't have a license, he shouldn't have had the courage to ask this question, but that's it, the habit of thinking himself the best and always right.)
۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔
After about two hours, Hoor stopped the car at a petrol station. She removed the seat belt. She turned around and saw Ahil who was quietly looking out of the window. He had been watching all the way. Hoor himself reached forward and took out his wallet from the right pocket of his pants. Ahil turned around and looked at her. Hoor had left the car without saying anything with the wallet. She could not bring anything except her phone!
After some time Hoor came back and sat in the car, opened her shawarma and juice box and started eating. She had put his food in his lap without saying anything. After about fifteen minutes, Ahil took a look at her. She was still eating and they had been stopped at the petrol station for the past half an hour. She was not letting him drive the car and was busy eating alone.
"It's ten o'clock at night."
"Happens every day. Anyway, we won't arrive before one or two."
"Can I drive?"
"No."
"This is my car."
"Not even then. You eat too, then let's go." Ahil thought for a few moments and then started eating.
"I don't understand why I am at the petrol station of the motorway at ten o'clock at night and eating shawarma with you? Why are we here?"
"I also don't understand many things in life but it is what it is."
"Like? What things?"
"Yahi ke mere dimag main konsa keera agaya tha jo aap se shadi ki haami bhari thi." Ahil shook his head in the negative.
(That kind of a worm came into my mind that I was in favor of marrying you.)
"I don't want to talk to you right now. I'm tired."
"I am also very tired. I want to talk then. Not today, but tomorrow." Ahil remained silent while Hoor fastened her seat belt and put the car back on the motorway!
۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔
They had entered the premises of Islamabad. As the vehicle was at Hoor's disposal and Islamabad was a very beautiful and peaceful city for her, she decided to go there. Yes, it was a bit of a strange decision at once, but Ahil had not said anything or raised any objection. Probably he too was tired and just wanted to escape from all the troubles of life, if only for a while. If the car had not been taken away from him, he would have gone there too. There were relatives of Ahil in Islamabad, but Hoor did not want to go to any relative, nor did Ahil. So she had arranged for a hotel on the phone. On reaching the hotel room, both of them did not have the courage to talk to each other or ask questions. They slept straight without saying anything!
After the prayer at around seven in the morning, Ahil ordered tea and proceeded to pick up his phone, but Hoor had taken out the charger and put her on. Ahil held his phone with a frown on his forehead and turned towards her.
"This is my charger." Hoor, who was looking out of the window, immediately turned around at this. With both arms folded, she walked in front of him.
"Kal aap ki harkaton ki wajah se nah, phone ke ilawa kuch bhi nahi lasaki. Is liye is waqt mere saath mera tera karne ki zaroorat nahi hai. Mera phone laga hai, mera hi laga rahega!"Saying that she went ahead and went to the phone and opened it and opened Instagram and sat down. Ahil looked at her for a few moments. He got angry.
(Because of your actions yesterday, I couldn't bring anything except the phone. So there's no need to do mine and yours with me at this time. My phone is charging, mine will keep charging.)
"Yeh tum mujh par hukm kis khushi mein chalati ho? Mera charger hai, meri marzi. Mera hi rahega. Agar chahiye to please keh kar manga karo."
(Why are you ordering me? It's my charger, it's my will. It is mine. If you want, ask for it with a 'please'.)
"Isi khushi mein jis mein aap baar baar mujhe yeh fazool qism ke taanay dete hain aur ehsaas dilate hain ke main kuch hoon hi nahi. Yeh lo, rakh lo, qabar mein bhi le jaiye ga saath apne is ko."
Hoor got up and grabbed the charger, put it on his palm and went ahead and opened the balcony door to breathe in the beautiful air of Islamabad. At that time, only early morning Islamabad could brighten her mood.
(The same reason in which you repeatedly taunt me and make me feel that I am nothing. Keep it. Take it with you to the grave.)
Ahil looked at the charger in his hand then closed his eyes and took a deep breath. The problem was not the charger. The problem was just her intrusion into his personal life and he was also feeling he was somehow wrong. She had a right to know, but he didn't want to share anything with anyone, and he didn't want to tell anyone right now. It took time. For all the time he had spent with Hoor, it was not that great. He had spent that time fighting and what he had never been able to say to his close people, how could he say it to her? That too when they were not even close. He just couldn't trust her so easily, he couldn't tell her his problems or his pain so easily but she didn't understand.
His eyes were on the mountains but his mind was in thoughts.
'Mujhe kya... mujhe koi farq nahi parta. Mujhe kyun farq parega? Mujhe farq nahi parta. Bilkul nahi. Hargiz bhi nahi. Mujhe bilkul bura nahi laga. Pehle bhi nahi laga tha. Is se pehle bhi nahi. Ab bhi nahi laga. Koi baat hi nahi bura lagne wali. Woh mere liye itna ahem thori hai? Woh mujh par aitbaar nahi karta to... main bhi nahi karti. Mat kare. Main us ki zindagi mein kahin nahi hoon to woh bhi kahin nahi hai. Mere hone ya na hone se koi farq nahi parta to mujhe bhi kaun sa parta hai? Mujhe kya... woh meri zindagi mein rahe ya na rahe...'
Hoor looked away from the distance. She felt her eyes wet now. On the last thing. Yes, it did hurt to think about the last thing. It shouldn't have happened.
(What? I don't care. Why should I care? I don't care. Not at all. Not at all. I didn't feel bad at all. I didn't feel bad before. Even before that. I still don't feel bad. Not at all bad. He is not so important to me?? If he doesn't trust me, I don't either. No. I'm nowhere in his life, so he's nowhere either. My absence doesn't matter, so his doesn't either? Why do I care? He stays in my life or not.)
'Shut up, shut up, shut up. I don't care.' Hoor shut her eyes. If not to anyone else, but at least to herself, she couldn't lie anymore. She had to tell the truth to herself.
'Shut up, shut up, shut up. Mujhe farq nahi parta... main us se nafrat karti hoon, be had, shadeed, itni ke... ab... ab alag ho jaane ka khayal takleef ke siwa kuch nahi deta... us ki woh sab baatein jin se farq nahi parta tha... ab parta hai... woh sab baatein jo main bhi us ko kehti thi, aur woh bhi kehta tha to kabhi bura nahi lagta tha... ab main khud ko kehne par raazi nahi karti lekin usse rok bhi nahi sakti... khud mein keh nahi pati aur jab woh kehta hai to bura lagta hai... main us ke saath rehna chahti hoon, hamesha. Lekin is tarah nahi. Yoon nahi... zindagi ka ek hissa akela guzara hai. Sab ek ek karke kuch arse ke liye hi sahi, lekin zindagi se chale gaye the to akela rehne ki aadat ban gayi. Main nahi chahti ke main dobara aisi koi aadat banaun jabki us ko koi farq hi nahi parta ho. Main agar us ke liye aadat badal rahi hoon to mujhe bhi wahi chahiye. Yeh adha adhoora toota phoota input nahi chahiye. Mujhe woh pura ka pura chahiye. Aise ke woh mujh par aitbaar kare, jaise maine kiya. Mujh se apne masail bantay, jaise maine bantay. Agar yeh sab nahi karna to... yoon itna acha banne ki bhi zaroorat nahi thi... ke... badtameez, adakar, zehr lagta hai mujhe... mujhe woh pasand nahi hai. Nahi hai. Nahi hai... nah us ko mujh par aitbaar hai, nah mere kuch sochnay samajhnay se us ko farq parta hai, nah mujhe us ke maamlay mein bolna chahiye kyun ke us ka zati maamla hai aur agar mujhe kuch maloom nahi to kuch bolo bhi na. Us ki har cheez us ki hai ijazat loon istemal karne se pehle, to phir main us ki zindagi mein hoon kahan? Mujhe janna hai ke main kahan hoon kyun ke main nahi chahti ke main khud ko itna anwaan kar loon ke baad mein pata chale main to kahin bhi nahi thi. Us ki zindagi mein, us ki priorities mein, main bohot door thi. Haan, karchuki hoon, jazbat par ikhtiyar nahi tha lekin koshish karoongi ke mazeed nai karoongi. Haan, shuru mein main ne qadam liya kyun ke mujhe us par aitbaar tha, lekin us ke baad us ne bhi liya, lekin agar usay itna bhi aitbaar nahi ke apne masail bata sake to mujhe baat hi nahi karni hai. Us ka rawiya mujhe yoon mehsoos karwata hai jaise... bas mujhe acha mehsoos nahi hota... main ne qadam liya kyun ke mere liye aghaaz tha, main us ke saath zindagi guzarna chahti thi... lekin woh... us ke liye... pata nahi... mujhe nahi pata... main khud se kuch bhi fazool nahi sochoon gi... main us se seedha pooch loongi.'
(I hate him. So much. So much. Now. The thought of being separated now gives me nothing but pain. All those things of his that didn't matter. Now they do. All the things that I used to say to him, and he used to say them too, I never felt bad. Now I can't convince him to say it but I can't stop him either. I can't say it myself and it feels bad when he says it. I want to be with him, always. But not like this. Not like this. A part of life has been spent alone. I don't want to make a habit again when it doesn't matter. If I'm changing a habit for him, I want the same. I do not want any broken input. I want the whole him. So that he trusts me, like I did. Share his problems with me, like I shared. If no, then there was no need to be so nice... actor...mannersless...I hate him...I don't like him..... He doesn't trust me, nor does it matter to him what I think or understand, nor should I speak in his matter because it is his personal matter and if I do not know anything, I should not say anything. Before using anything of his, i need permission, then where am I in his life? I have to know where I am because I don't want to be so involved that later I find out I was nowhere. In his life, in his priorities, I was so far away. I had no control over emotions but will try not to anymore. At first I stepped in because I trusted him, but then he did too, but if he doesn't trust me enough to share his problem.... I don't want to talk. His attitude makes me feel like..I just don't feel good. I took the step because it was a start for me, I wanted to spend my life with him..but he..for him. I don't know. I don't know. I won't think of anything by myself. I will ask him directly.)
After a while, the tea arrived. Ahil took the tea and went towards the balcony. The glass door of the balcony was turned aside and he stepped into the balcony. The air was good, fresh. She was resting her arms on the railing in the corner, looking at the faraway mountains of Islamabad. Ahil's hands were busy, otherwise he would have taken a picture today too. He quietly moved forward holding both cups of tea and stood next to her. Her face did not turn, nor was his arrival taken seriously. Totally ignored. Ahil nodded. Yes, it made sense. He placed the teacup in front of her over the railing. Hoor took it without saying anything. She had to talk. She could do it calmly with tea. If she got angry, she could have cooled the tea and thrown it on him, too!
"You wanted to talk?" Ahil started the conversation. She had told him several times that she had to talk, so he couldn't pretend not to know.
"No. I don't trust you enough to tell you anything personal." Ahil rubbed his forehead with two fingers of his left hand. This woman and her competition!!!
"Another very bad habit of yours is that you compete in everything. You and I are not against each other. We are both on the same side, the same team. Instead of competing in everything, that I did that so you also do the same or if you did this then I will do the same, we should think that if even one is doing this then what is the reason? What can be solved? For the first time in life you were about to show evidence of sanity but then went back to your useless lines." Hoor was angry at the last word, but the rest seemed fine to her. He was right, it seemed. Why did she compete with him in everything?
"Tell me, what happened? Is something bothering you?" Ahil was no longer facing the railing. He was standing next to Hoor with his back resting on the railing. The face was towards Hoor. Hoor took her eyes off the tea and looked at him.
"Have I done something?" Ahil asked, raising his eyebrows. Hoor nodded yes without hesitation. Ahil took a deep breath and turned his face and looked at the distant mountains. Now what he had done! He knew. He knew very well what he had done and what words of his might have offended Hoor! He looked back at her.
"Tell me, what have I done now?"
"Sab se pehle to mere samne yeh masoom banne ki adakari karna band karen jaise kuch karte hi nahi aur main bila wajah ke ilzaamat laga rahi hoon."
Ahil sipped the tea without saying anything. He could not give any answer to this. Now he was just waiting to be told the reason.
(First of all stop pretending to be innocent in front of me as if you did nothing and I am making accusations for no reason.)
Hoor looked at the cup of tea. She was holding the cup in one hand and involuntarily moving her finger on the cup with the other hand. She was in thought, deep thought. She was choosing words, organizing scattered thoughts.
"I've reacted without hearing from you many times before and I didn't want to make the same mistake again." Ahil shook his head. Thankfully, this woman learned something from her mistakes!
"Shadi jin bhi halaat mein hui, main jaisi bhi ghalat soch ke saath is rishte mein aayi, woh sab ahista ahista theek hota gaya. Kam az kam mere liye to hota raha. Mujhe ehsaas hua ke mujhe... mujhe aap ke saath zindagi guzarni hai. Mujhe aap par aitbaar tha tabhi main ne faisla kiya. Lekin... mujhe pichle chand din se... pata nahi shayad main zyada mehsoos kar rahi hoon... mujhe pichle chand din se
Mujhe lagta hai ke main zyada mehsoos kar rahi hoon... Mujhe pichle kuch dino se achha nahi lag raha... Jo kuch... jo kuch bhi bola... mujhe yun mehsoos horaha hai jaise... jaise jo mere liye aghaaz tha, woh aap ke liye ikhtitam... Main jaanti hoon aap... aap ke liye apni ana hamesha se azeez rahi hai... sab se zyada azeez... isi liye mujhe yun laga ke jaise bas... apni ana ke liye... magar main aisa sochna nahi chahti thi... tabhi maine baat karne ka faisla kiya... lekin... mujhe aisa bila wajah nahi laga... baar baar aap ki baaton se laga ke mere hone na hone se farq nahi padta... mujhe aap ki zati zindagi mein dakhal andazi ka koi haq nahi... mujhe agar kisi mamlay mein maloom nahi hai bola mat krun... bas... isi liye aisa mehsoos horaha tha..."Ahil looked at her for a few moments but shook his head in the negative. He was tired of explaining. He had said the same thing once before. He could not give any more clarifications.
(Whatever the circumstances of the marriage, whatever wrong thinking I came into this relationship with, it all gradually got better. At least for me. I realized that I... I want to live with you. I had trust in you then I decided. But. For the last few days. I don't know, maybe I'm feeling too much. I'm not feeling well for the last few days. Whatever. Whatever you said....I feel like..What was the beginning for me, is the end for you. I know you. You have always loved your ego. That's why I felt that it was just for your ego. But I didn't want to think like that. That's why I decided to speak. But. It didn't seem unreasonable. From your words repeatedly, I felt that my I don't matter to you. I have no right to interfere in your personal life. If I do not know about any matter, I should not say anything. That's why it felt like this.)
"Haan... kya maine... nahi pada farq... sirf apni ana ke liye kiya... ab bolo..."
Ahil looked at her with a serious face. Hoor looked at him without blinking. She turned her face and chewed her lips, then turned her face back to him. She had to talk.
(Yes, Doesn't matter. Just for my own ego. Now do what you want.)
"Main... main jaanti hoon ke aap... balkay tum... main jaanti hoon ke tumhein apni ana bohot azeez hai... lekin is dafa maine apni ghalti nahi darhai... maine apni ana peechay rak kar baat ki aur main tumse bhi yehi umeed rakhti hoon... yeh mazaq nahi hai... main sirf ek baar aur pooch rahi hoon, mujhe sirf sach sunna hai. Har baar apni ana mein rehna zaroori nahi hota... agar aaj, abhi isi waqt mujhe sach nahi bola toh saari zindagi bolte rahoge toh yakeen nahi karungi... balkay main tumhein moqa hi nahi doongi ke tum aage meri zindagi mein raho ya mujhse baat karsako..." Hoor's eyes were wet but he didn't let tears fall. Ahil shook his head in the negative. Phew! He had to surrender.
(I...I know that you...but you...I know that you hold your ego very dear. But this time I didn't repeat my mistake. I put my ego behind me and talked to you. So That's what I expect from you too. This is not a joke. I'm just asking one more time, I just want to hear the truth. It's not necessary to be in ego every time. I won't believe it if you keep telling me that you lied, even if you spend your whole life doing it. Rather, I won't give you a chance to stay in my life or talk to me.)
"Jhoot bola tha maine... haan, ana aagai thi jab tumne sawal kiya."
(I lied. Yes, My ego came in between when you asked.)
"Ek toh mujhe samajh nahi aata har baat mein aap ki ana kyun aajati hai?"
Hoor was relieved to hear his words, very relieved. But it was obvious from the front that she had to show anger. Of course, she was also angry that why was this person so egotistical? (For one thing, I don't understand why your ego comes into everything?)
"Jaise tumhari zabaan aajati hai."Ahil also took out his anger. She would think and say anything!
(Just like your tongue comes into everything.)
Hoor looked at him for a few moments. He was having tea with a frown on his forehead. Then all of a sudden she forgot his words and laughed. She laughed openly, heartily. Without any problem. No worries, her heart felt so light now. The burden on the heart was removed.
Ahil watched her laughing like this in shock. This woman was mentally deranged, he was sure.
"Glad we came to Islamabad, I know a very good psychologist here, I will show you." Hoor was not offended for the first time, she continued to laugh as she did, trying to control herself. Ahil frowned. What was so funny about it? When Hoor did not stop, Ahil put the cup to his lips. Now he had to hide his smile! He took a sip and removed the cup from his lips. He glanced at her who was now trying to control herself.
"Zehr lagti ho yun gala phaar kar hastay hue."
Hoor was normalizing herself by taking deep breaths. Tears had also flowed from her eyes. She didn't know at that time whether it was because of laughing or the limit that had been restrained for a long time was broken. Hoor wiped her tears and wiped her face with her hands. Ahil looked at her.
(You look so bad when laughing.)
"Tum roya mat karo." Hoor looked at him at his words. Questioning eyes. "Why?" She wanted to hear the answer. Something good. Something cute. Ahil was silent for a few moments. Thinking of the answer. (Don't cry.)
"Kyun ke jitni zehr-gala phaar kar hanste hue lagti ho, usse zyada rote hue lagti ho." Hoor shook her head and sipped her tea with a smile.
(Because you look even worse while crying, even more than laughing.)
"Main khush hoon." Ahil nodded. Okay. Did not ask the reason. (I'm happy.)
"Main bohot khush hoon. Itni khush ke main bata bhi nahi sakti."
(I'm so happy. So happy I can't even tell.)
"Maine poocha bhi nahi."
(I didn't even ask.)
"Aaj main khush hoon, is liye main aap ki kisi bhi fazool baat ka ghusa nahi karungi."
(I'm happy today, so I won't get angry at any of your nonsense.)
"Aur agar maine tumhein ghusa karne par majboor kiya phir?" Hoor turned her eyes to Ahil, 'Seriously?' (And if I made you angry then?)
"Kyun? Koi muqabla chal raha hai ke agar main khush hoon toh rahne nahi dena? Khabardar jo mujhse koi bhi galat baat ki. Fazool insaan..."
(Why? Is there a competition going on to not let me live if I'm happy???? Useless.)
"Tum toh ho hi gayi ghusa." He shook his head. (You are already angry.)
"Haan toh aisi harkatein karenge toh aaye ga na! Khair, ab hum kahin ja rahe hain. Saman toh hai nahi hamare paas, is liye chalte hain abhi."
(Yes, if you do such actions, then I will definitely be angry! Well, now we are going somewhere. We don't have the stuff, so let's go now.)
"Kidhar ja rahe hain? Kis khushi mein?"
(Where are we going? And why?)
"Jahan mera dil kare ga wahan jaungi. Aur main khush hoon is liye jaayenge."
(I will go where I want. And I will go because I am happy.)
"Toh tum khush ho toh is mein mera aur mere bank account ka kya qusoor hai?"
(So if you're happy, what's the fault of my bank account?)
"Shut up. We're leaving in five minutes." Saying that, she went inside. Ahil took a deep breath and stood like that for a few moments. Then he went inside with a shrug. And what could he do????
"Is mein toh adha cup hai abhi. Khatam kyun nahi ki?"
Ahil kept his tea cup and looked at her cup which had half of the tea in it. Hoor, who was smoothing the wrinkles from her shirt with her hands, turned and looked at him. (There's half a cup in it now. Why didn't you finish it?)
"Ab har kisi ki chai thodi na mere dil par lagti hai." Hoor answered while hiding a smile and left the room holding the car key on her finger. Ahil stood there. He raised his eyebrows and thought about her answer. (Not everyone's tea touches my heart.)
"Ye bhi theek hai" Ahil nodded. Then he left the room, shaking his head in the negative with a slight smile. (That's also fine.)
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