The weekend had gone by very fast after Saturday night's dinner. When I woke up the day after, I spent the day at Valentina's and went back to my place after lunch. We didn't talk much about Mary-Kate. Even if Valentina tried to bring the subject to the table, I'd wave it off every time.
Now it was Monday morning, which meant it was the start of a new week at The Row. We've been particularly busy these days, with the vacations coming at the end of the week and fashion weeks arriving about a month later. We were in the middle of putting together the new collection. We all had to put all our efforts into our work, which was tiring, but it would all be worth it in the end.
I walked into the café to grab Mary-Kate and Ashley's coffee as usual. Florence was there, making coffee cups. I walked toward her and smiled as she noticed me. I didn't even need to order anymore, the two cups would be ready for me the moment I entered. I know Maey-Kate had told me the other day to get a cup for myself, but I wasn't sure if it were a one-time thing or if she actually meant for me to buy myself a coffee with her card. I doubted this.
"Are they letting you have vacations?" Florence asked as she handed me the cups.
I chuckled lightly. "You make it sound like they're holding me prisoner or something."
Her eyes widened and she threw her hands in her hair, shrugging and letting out a small laugh. "Well, correct me if I'm wrong, but they're not exactly known for their kindness. At least, that's what I've heard from other interns. That's why I assumed that maybe letting you have a week off for Christmas wasn't on their agenda."
I shook my head, puzzled. "Who's been feeding you all this negativity about them?"
"Emily, I think that's her name. You know, the one with auburn hair?" Florence said. I nodded, then, she continued. "Well, she comes here every day to get the twins' coffees in the afternoon."
I frowned. I didn't know Mary-Kate and Ashley were getting coffee from this café in the afternoon too, and why would they ask Emily to do it.
Florence chuckled. "You're not exactly her biggest fan, am I right?"
I sighed, "It's not that I dislike Emil, it's just that-"
"She talks too much?" Florence finished for me.
I nodded. "Yes, something like that. And she seems to have it out for them. They're not as bad as she makes them out to be."
Florence raised an eyebrow, a mischievous glint in her eyes. "Or perhaps, they're not as bad to you as they are to everyone else."
Confused, I furrowed my brow.
"I mean, come on Ana. One of them even swung by here before work to make sure you got coffee, paid for with her own credit card!"
My jaw dropped. "Wait, you knew the extra coffee was for me? But when I asked you for who it was, you said you had no idea?"
Florence smiled playfully. "She asked me not to tell you, for some reason. Look, even if Emily keeps talking shit about them, it's not the first time I'm hearing these kinds of things about them, especially about Mary-Kate. It's like they have a soft spot just for you."
I couldn't help but blush at her words, a mix of delight and guilt washing over me. "I don't know about that. Maybe I just know how to handle them."
Florence grinned knowingly. "Sure, that must be it. Or maybe it's because you secretly enjoy their tough love."
I laughed, shaking my head. "You're crazy, you know that?"
Florence smiled.
"And you're reading too much into it Flo," I said.
She shrugged playfully. "Maybe I am. But it's a little suspicious how they treat you compared to everyone else. Maybe it's because you're that good at your job?"
I smiled. "Yeah yeah, that must be it" I said.
"I'll see you tomorrow, Ana, I wouldn't want you to be late because of me," she said, grinning. "Not that it would even bother them!"
"Alright, alright, I'm going," I chuckled, waving as I headed out the streets.
I entered the building, got in the elevator, then made my way to my office. I got rid of my coat and bag and went straight to deliver the coffee to the twins. I went to Ashley's first. She was on the phone, so I swiftly placed her coffee on her desk, and she nodded her head with a smile as a greeting. I left and headed to Mary-Kate's.
I knocked softly, the sound echoing in the quiet hallway. After a quick moment, Mary-Kate's muffled voice invited me in but as I stepped through her office, the atmosphere was much different from usual. She studied me for a couple of seconds, an impassive expression on her face as if I were an unwelcome interruption. She directed her eyes back to the screen of her laptop, mouth shut.
I lingered for a moment, hoping for any sign that she might acknowledge my presence, but she remained engrossed in her work. She was ignoring me completely, just like the days when she avoided me the first week I arrived at The Row.
I stepped forward and carefully placed her cup on the edge of her desk. I watched her for a beat, waiting for her to glance up and say something, anything. But the silence stretched on.
I scoffed softly in an attempt to get her to look at me, but it was useless.
I couldn't simply walk away like I could have done when I first started working for her. Now, I knew she was struggling. I remembered our conversation at Valentina's and how vulnerable she was back then.
I took a deep breath, pushing aside the fear and hesitation that was here because of the professionalism that I should maintain. "Mary-Kate?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper. I spoke calmly, but inside, I was truly turmoiled. I thought for a brief moment that I saw a flicker of recognition in her eyes. Like a pause in her movements that hinted that despite her calm facade, there was something more on the inside. But as quickly as it appeared, it was gone, replaced once more by ignorance.
She remained silent and I got no answer.
My voice was calm, but I couldn't help feeling like I was being shut out. I felt invisible in Mary-Kate's world, which was tearing me inside because from now on, apart from the first week I had spent at The Row, I had always felt like being the center of her attention whenever I was with her. When I was next to her, I was all she cared about. But I hadn't quite realized this until my conversation with Florence at the café this morning.
I felt a knot in my stomach. I didn't even know why I was reacting this way but my heart started pounding in my chest and an odd sensation of heaviness settled in my eyes. I abruptly turned around and left her office. I crossed the hallway and rushed down the corridor, feeling my breath catching up in my throat as my vision blurred. I jostled my way into the toilet and locked myself in one of the cubicles.
I sat down on the floor and brought my hands to my face. Before I even knew what was happening, I found myself crying on the bathroom floor of The Row's head office. I tried my best to muffle my sobs, taking deep breaths. It reminded me of those times when I would have panic attacks back in high school and calmed myself down in the school bathroom. It had been a while since I had one of those. I used to have a lot of them after the elevator incident.
After a few minutes, I had calmed down and my breath had gotten steady again. I took a moment to look back on what had happened and what could have caused the state I was in, but I couldn't figure it out. I took a deep breath and gathered the courage to get up. I stopped for a moment to try and hear if there was any noise from anyone around me, but it seemed to me that there was no one in the bathroom. Good, because I didn't really want to get out of that toilet and have someone see me with smeared mascara and puffy eyes.
I unlocked the door and immediately saw my reflection in the mirror in front of me. I didn't how I was going to hide the fact that I had been crying. I rinsed my eyes with water from the tab and cleaned the smudged mascara with a wet paper towel. After several minutes of pondering on how I would proceed now, I checked the time and thankfully it was around lunch break so I would be able to sneak out of the building without having anyone notice. So that's what I did. I left through the back door, not bothering to leave without my jacket, knowing I'd find it this afternoon when I got back here. My office was far too close to Mary-Kate's office for me to risk going there because if there's one person I don't want to see right now, it's her.
Once I was out of the building, I felt like the heaviness I once had on my shoulders had lifted. I looked up at the building and took a deep breath, then, I started walking, getting away from the building. I picked up my phone which was thankfully in my pocket and not in my bag that I had left in the office, and dialed Valentina's number. The phone rang and she picked up.
"Yes? What's up?" She said on the other line. I was happy she had picked up and I was hoping she would have time to talk.
"Is it your lunch break yet?" I asked.
"In about 10 minutes, yes. Why?" She said and I could hear from the tone of her voice that she was suspicious as to the reason I was calling her.
"Do you think we could meet for lunch? I need to tell you something that happened"
She paused for a moment, then continued. "Where?"
I gave her the address of a place where we could meet, then we hung up. I made my way to the little restaurant and, once inside, sat at a table in the corner of the room until she arrived. I couldn't stop thinking about what happened. This whole morning at been a mess from start to end. Why was she ignoring me? After everything she had told me Saturday night, how could she act like this now?
"Ana," I heard from beside me and noticed Valentina. I shook my head of my thoughts and looked at her. She took of her coat and sat down. "What happened? Wait, you're fired, aren't you?"
I frowned my eyebrows, confused. "What? No, I'm not fired! Why would I be?"
"Well you be messing around with the boss Ana-" She muttered but I cut her off.
"I am not, what are you talking about? She is the one causing all of this! And wait," I paused, puzzled. "How do you even what I have to tell you is about Mary-Kate?" I asked.
She sighed. "Look, it is obvious that there is something very complicated between you and Mary-Kate since day one."
"No there is not" I interrupted.
"Yes, there is, now let me finish, and don't be so offensive Ana, you know that I'm on your side, okay?"
I sighed and took a bit of the pasta we had ordered. "Fine"
"I had my doubt that after Saturday night, there wouldn't be something that would have changed a bit between you and her. I was kind of expecting a call from you," she said.
"But why? Why should what happened change anything? And what even happened on Saturday night? Nothing! And- what do you mean when you say you expected that something would have changed between Mary-Kate and me? There's absolutely nothing between me and Mary-Kate, she's just my boss!" I burst out.
"What I mean is just that as much as I'm aware of, a boss doesn't call their employee in the middle of the night when they're having a breakdown. That is what I meant when I said there was something complicated between you and her," she said calmly.
I sighed. This job was making my life way too complicated.
"So, tell me what happened exactly this morning?" Valentina continued.
"She ignored me completely, then I started having a panic in her office so I ran off and locked myself in the bathroom," I explained, worry clearly showing in my eyes.
"She ignored you? How exactly?"
"Well, I came to give her her coffee, just like I do ever morning, but she didn't say anything. She barely looked up at me, even when I insisted and called her name."
Valentina nodded with a confused look on her face. "And you had a panic attack because she ignored you?" She asked.
"I don't know what started it- I don't even know why I even had one! But it started in her office. Hopefully I left soon enough for her not to notice anything."
"You think she noticed it? She asked.
"No... Unless she saw me running down the corridor to the bathroom" I said.
"So you think she might have followed you when you left her office?"
"No, no. I mean, I hope she didn't. But, she ignored me so there's not reason why she would have followed me if she was avoiding me like this, it wouldn't make sense." I said.
"None of what she does makes sense" Valentina muttered.
We both went silent for a moment, eating our pasta. I was already dreading the moment I would have to go back to The Row. I hoped nobody had noticed me leaving and that I would just complete my afternoon of work one my own and leave as soon as I'm done.
"Ignore her too" Valentina said.
I raised my eyebrows and tilted my head. "What?"
"Ignoring you after you helped her with whatever she was dealing with Saturday night is really ungrateful and stupid. Not to mention that she has already acted like this around you in the past, no?"
I nodded. "Yes, she did, but-"
"No buts, stop defending her after how she is messing with you Ana!"
I sighed, "I know..." I paused and felt tears form in my eyes. "But we got along really well, you know? And I thought she thought so too. But- apparently she doesn't... Otherwise, she wouldn't be ignoring me like this." I said my voice barely above a whisper.
Valentina looked at me, raising one of her brows. "You really like her, don't you?" She asked.
I nodded firmly, a tear escaping my eye. I didn't know why I was crying. I must have been so tired from the panic attack that I was letting my emotions get the better of me. "I really thought we were friends by now..." I admitted.
Valentina's reaction was unexpected. She raised her eyebrows and tilted her head. She looked both confused and shocked. For a moment, she seemed at a loss of word, as if struggling to articulate something that had suddenly become clear to her.
"What?" I prompted, my confusion mounting at her silence.
She hesitated, then shook her head dismissively. "I- Nothing, nothing. I just thought- that it was something else that's all. But never mind-"
"What do you mean 'something else'?" I asked, truly confused.
Valentina asked, her gaze shifting uncomfortably. "Nothing, really. Look, I... I think she likes you too, Ana" Valentina said softly.
With a heavy sigh, I met Valentina's gaze and nodded. "I'm gonna ignore her too," I declared. It wasn't an easy decision to make, but after enduring her silent treatment once before, I refused to subject her to her emotional rollercoaster again.
Valentina nodded in understanding and we both sat in silence, finishing our dish. When we were done, we said goodbye to each other, and I promised to fill her in on whatever would happen during the upcoming week. I reluctantly started walking back to the office.