Chapter 12: A good day.
"Expectation is the root of all heartache."
William Shakespeare—
Today was a good day for Minho. Mommy had given him breakfast, even if the cereal was a bit soggy. But she had given him candy after, too!
She had also changed his diaper, and bathed him, even if the water was a bit cold.
Mommy had also dressed him in nice, clean clothes. "Now you look less hideous." she said.
Minho didn't know what that meant, but when he asked she told him to stop being annoying. Minho also didn't know what that word meant. He chose to stay quiet this time, because mommy had seemed angry before.
When the woman opened the door and waited for him to go out, the boy looked at his feet. His sneakers had the laces undone.
"My god, you're usless, Minho." Mommy told him. He made a point to learn for next time. Maybe if he watched closely how his mommy did it, he'd be able to learn faster.
They were going for a walk, or so Minho thought. He had eaten a real breakfast today, was dressed in nice clothes for the first time in a while, mommy wasn't shouting at him and her eyes weren't red. What else could that mean? He must had done something good.
Probably mommy was going to buy him ice cream. He loves ice cream!
As the woman walked ahead, Minho followed as closely as his two year old legs could get him to his mother. He was getting a bit tired, but mommy told him one time that boys who complain are weaklings and no one loves weaklings, so Minho kept on half-running behind her without a word.
He didn't want his mother to stop loving him because he was a weakling.
"Are we going to i-cream?" he asked. He started to see an unfamiliar neighborhood sorround him. This wasn't the way to the ice cream shop.
His mother didn't answer, just kept walking ahead. Maybe she didn't hear him? Minho asked again, this time with a little more voice. Once again, his mommy seemed to not have heard.
The third time he asked, the woman sighed. "Shut up, will you?" she said.
Minho did as he had been told, scared to anger mommy.
Suddenly, the woman stopped walking. They were in front of big stone stairs that led to brown doors. There was something written on it, but Minho still didn't know how to read.
Mommy turned to look at him. "Sit down there." she pointed to a step near the end of the stairs.
When he did as told, the woman got a little piece of paper from her purse and put it on his front pocket, the one from his blue coat. It was late December, so he was wearing it to be less cold.
"You're gonna wait until someone comes out from that big door, okay?" Minho nodded. "When they do, tell them mommy said she doesn't want you anymore and give them the note."
With that, the woman began walking the same way they came from. Panic rised up Minho's throat, he didn't want to be left alone.
He stood up and ran towards his mommy, clutching the skirt of her purple dress with his tiny fingers. Tears shone in his eyes. "Are you coming back, mommy?"
The woman sighed and walked his son back to the step where he was supposed to be waiting. "I told you to wait here. Why are you even crying now?"
"I'm scared of being alone." he confessed. She looked mad and that only made Minho want to cry even more.
"Stop being so pathetic, Minho. Stop seeking for attention with that bullshit. I told you to wait until someone comes out of that door and that's what you're gonna do."
"But—"
"But nothing. I thought you were a good boy, not a weakling." the words stirred something inside the little two year old. He didn't want to be a weakling in his mother's eyes, so he forced himself to stop crying and gave a little nod.
He could be a good boy if he tried. He wasn't going to be scared, he wasn't going to seek for attention, whatever that meant. He thought it meant he should stop crying.
Still, when mommy started walking away from him again, he couldn't help the little cry that gave away his fear of being left alone somewhere he didn't know.
"Mommy, are you coming back?" he asked again, in hopes he'd get a real answer this time that he hadn't left the step.
The woman only spared him a glance. "Sure. You just wait."
"Okay."
After ten minutes of her walking, Minho couldn't see her figure anymore. Her purple dress had disappeared in the distance.
He waited, kicking his feet and nibbling on his lip, for what felt like hours and probably were. His stomach growled with a hunger he knew all to well.
No one came from the big door.
He grew hungrier, so he munched on his fingers to alleviate the pain on his stomach, something he used to do at home too when mommy forgot to feed him for a day, sometimes more.
The sky turned orange, then pinkish and Minho recognized it as the sun setting. He had been there since morning and now he was hungry and tired. When was mommy coming back?
It got colder as the night settled. His big coat wasn't enough anymore as he shivered, still unmoving from his spot because mommy had told him to wait there.
Suddenly, the door behind him opened and a womam came out from it with two big bags, the ones his mommy used to pick up empty bottles and throw them in the trash. He stood up, but realistically didn't know what to do. He had always been a shy kid and the fact that the only social interaction he ever got was with his mother also didn't help much.
"E-excuse me." he murmured.
The woman saw him and smiled, but then frowned as he saw how the boy shivered, how his lips were coverd in red because had been biting at them for a long time.
"Hello, buddy. How old are you?" she asked, noting the fright inside the boy's body from the flinch he did when he heard her voice.
He held up two fingers.
"And what are you doing here alone? Did you loose your parents somewhere?"
Minho shook his head. "Mommy told me to tell you that she doesn't want me anymore. She told me to give you this." he took out the note his mother gave him that morning and handed it to the woman.
As she read it, her frown grew deeper.
"How long have you been here, darling?" she asked next. He shrugged. She sighed. "I'm Aera, what's your name?"
"Minho."
The woman, Aera, smiled warmly. She offered her hand for Minho to take, forgetting the bags she was carrying before. "Wanna come inside and eat something warm and tasty?"
Minho shook his head. "I'm waiting for mommy. Mommy said she's coming back."
"Why don't you wait for her inside, Minmin?"
Minmin. He liked the nickname. It sounded sweet and cool. Better than annoying, hideous or usless. It made him smile a little. When his stomach growled, his cheeks blared with embarrassment.
"Sorry." he said, looking down and feeling the need to cry. He held it in because this woman seemed nice and he didn't want her to not love him for being a weakling and crying.
Still, Aera patted Minho's head softly. "Let's go inside and get all warm and cozy, darling. I'll make sure you're never alone anymore."
And that promise sounded really nice to a little boy that had learned to talk and walk to get food because he wouldn't get it otherwise, to a little boy that was constantly denied from the warmth he seeked, from the love he needed.
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song: matilda
(harry styles)