Thankfully, my parents decided to give my phone back, "for emergencies only". They had been getting frustrated with me disappearing and not being able to get in touch with me. It didn't happen a lot, but it was finally enough to warrant a family meeting.
That morning, my dad sat unbothered in the corner as always. He only awake enough to vigorously stir at his tall cup of chocolate milk. Years of working day and night shifts in a factory, he drank more coffee than he ever cared to taste again. Now he started each day with a tall glass of cocoa and an intense stare down with the weather channel on the television.
Despite usually being such a morning person, my dad was not ready for a serious talk this early in the day, much to my mom's dismay. This one was all on her.
She tightened the rope around her waist, foot tapping as she waited for us all to pay attention to her pacing in the middle of the room. Her black curly hair coiled down her shoulders, twisting into the thick fuzz of her robe. Mom's dark green eyes darted back and forth between my brother and I with the same animosity. He rarely got in trouble, I couldn't imagine what he did to deserve an eight a.m. lecture with me.
Mom sucked her teeth, tossing her hands up as she spoke, "Alright, I'm just going to say it. You guys are almost adults- Cameron, you'll be leaving for college soon. I know you have your own lives and you want your own freedom, that's fine. But I hope I raised you well enough to still respect your dad and my rules. You've both been spending a lot of time away from the house, and I just want you to make responsible choices and be safe with your bodies."
Cameron and I glanced at each other, stifling a laugh. No way she's about to give us 'the talk' right now.
Even my dad coughed on his chocolate milk, "Babe, what are you talking about?"
She gave him dagger eyes. "Stephanie is running around, who knows where, with some older boy we don't know- "
"Older boy?" My dad interrupted.
She continued, "And Cameron is spending all night goofing off with his friends, not getting ready for college at all!"
Cameron rolled his eyes and started to walk out of the room, "It's not a big deal mom."
"I'm serious! It's spring break for you guys, but dad and I still have to work. I want you guys to have fun, but be careful. Once school starts again, I expect you both to focus big time. It's time to shape up those grades." That one felt like it was specifically for me. Cameron was never an honor-roll kind of student, but he definitely wasn't flunking the way I was.
I used to care a lot about my grades. In fact, I was usually ahead of most students in my classes growing up. Last year, when things got bad and I first felt the full force of depression, I gave up on all those things. Maybe now that I'm starting to feel better, I could try to catch up a bit on my work.
But not today. Today I was going to be seeing Anthony again. My boyfriend!
I sent Anthony a 'good morning' text and went to get ready. I was planning on walking downtown and asking him to meet me there. What I wasn't expecting was for him to reply right away, considering how often he would sleep in. I told him my plan before getting my chores quickly out of the way. Floor vacuuming, laundry folding, and a trash taking out later, I took a brief shower then threw on a tight green long sleeved shirt and black shorts. I looked in the mirror to check my dark cat-eye make up before pulling on my white high top sneakers.
Feeling good, I rushed out the front door. Foolishly enough, I was so excited to hurry to where I was supposed to meet Anthony, that I didn't see the car parked in front of my house. There stood Anthony, coolly leaning his broad shoulders against the frame of his mom's SUV. He was wearing a fitted white t-shirt again, showing off his incredible physique, and loose red sweat pants that looked almost too big for him. He uncrossed his arms, stretching them out for a hug. I was giddy. I ran to him, bounding into his arms. He held me as if I didn't weigh an ounce. I swung my legs around his waist and kissed his smooth lips.
"Hello, beautiful." He smiled up at me, walking to the passenger side door while still holding me. It wasn't until the door was open that he put me back down. I watched him hustle to the other side of the car. Sliding in, he turned the keys then reached over to buckle my seatbelt in. Anthony brushed a stray hair out of my face before taking and kissing my hand.
"I was planning to meet you downtown." I said to him playfully, watching the neighborhood pass by.
"I know you said that, but I couldn't let you walk that far if I could help it. Besides, I took the keys before my mom woke up so she couldn't say no anyway." He seemed pleased with himself.
We drove for only a few minutes before he pulled up to an office park I didn't recognize. The grey stucco building hardly had any windows beside the tinted glass doors. Each suite had a different business name printed in small white font. Anthony put the car in park and held tightly to the steering wheel as he took a deep breath.
"Anthony, what is this place?" I asked nervously, "I thought we would just hang out, maybe grab lunch."
"Stephanie..."
My heart was beginning to race. What wasn't he telling me? Where am I? What's going to happen? For the first time in what felt like ages, I felt the beginnings of an anxiety attack. Suddenly, I couldn't breathe.
I felt my worry minimize slightly as he rested a hand on my shoulder. He must have seen me tensing up. If only his large, rough, hands could only hold me forever and never let go.
"This is Dr. Blankenburg's office. He's a therapist. Better than anything else, he's the one who helped me through my hard times. I set up the appointment and everything. I'm sorry to catch you off guard, I thought you would say no if I asked before hand. I'm not going to force you to go in; if you aren't ready, just say the word and I will drive away now. But promise me you'll think about it?"
I didn't even begin to know how to respond. I felt my lip quiver. Going from so much anxiousness to relief that quickly sent my body into shock. My head fell into my hands as I cried loudly.
"Hey, hey, hey. Steph, please don't cry." Anthony's voice was low and calm. He unbuckled his seatbelt, leaning over the wide faux leather center console to give me a huge. "I'm sorry, this was a bad idea."
"No." I choked up, "No, Anthony this- this is so sweet of you."
"Look at me." He wiped away my runny make up. "Stephanie, if love alone was enough to heal you, you wouldn't even have a scar. I care about you more than you could possibly know."
He completely took my breath away.
"You are so... Stephanie, I cannot bare to imagine life without you. You are incredible. And right now, you need a little extra help. I will be right here. I am not going anywhere."
I pulled him in to a wet, messy, kiss. I wanted to breathe him in. In that moment, I couldn't get close enough. I could feel my heart pressing against my ribs, wanting to reach out and touch his. Anthony pulled me onto his lap, his fingers brushing through my hair.
I was so lost in our moment, that I didn't notice the clouds roll in. The sky turned grey and a heavy downpour followed. The car windows grew foggy. I brushed the tip of my nose against his as Anthony ran his hands up and down my back. Leaning down into his embrace, I buried my face against his neck. His cologne was a blend of amber and cedar wood, with a hint of lavender. I could feel the hard curves of his abs against my soft belly.
Sitting up to look at that beautiful boy, he wiped away my remaining tears with his thumb. I cleared my throat to speak, "I don't think I can go in today. But I will try. I promise."
Anthony beamed with pride, raising a fist between us, his small finger extended. "Pinky promise?"
"Pinky promise." I giggled, locking my finger around his and kissing my knuckles. He looked puzzled for a moment until I explained, "You have to seal it with a kiss!"
He smiled brighter, kissing our promise as well.
***
Neither of us could tell how much time was passing was we camped in our embrace. I don't know how I didn't fall asleep curled up against him. With my head on his chest, Anthony twirled a section of my hair around his finger. We laid there, talking about anything we could think of, lost in our own little world.
Our bubble was burst by a knock on the window. Unable to see who the figure outside the door was, Anthony cautiously rolled down the window. In the rain stood a tall, frail, old man. He shielded himself with a dark umbrella, the same shade of black as his slacks. He wore a bright red collared shirt, buttoned to the top. It was such a bright red that it made his white facial hair glow pink. All the salt and peppered hair was concentrated into a long goatee and a whiskered mustache. Besides his dense eyebrows, that was all the hair he had to show, his head was glossy bald.
The old man leaned down to the window and spoke with a raspy voice, "Tony."
"Oh, hey, Dr. B. How's it going?" Anthony extended a hand to greet the man through the window while the doctor's dark eyes fell on me. "This is my girl."
"Hi." I said timidly.
"Lovely to meet you, Ms. Stephanie. I thought I would be speaking to you both inside- I hope I am not interrupting..."
My face turned red, Anthony laughed, "No, no, nothing like that."
"Right. Why don't you two follow me to my office and we can get well acquainted there?"
We watched Dr. Blankenburg walk back into the building, propping open the door before shaking off his umbrella.
I turned to Anthony. "Tony, huh?"
"Don't ask." He groaned playfully. We hurried out of the rain and into the warm office space. The lobby was full of cushy leather seats and overgrown houseplants. We sat side by side, Anthony brushed the water droplets off my shoulder. Dr. B came around the corner with a hot cup of coffee in hand, the smell was strong and a little burnt. We didn't get into anything very serious, just some small talk.
Once the clouds had cleared, we said goodbye.
Anthony drove us back downtown to grab something to eat before he took me home. Normally, my social batteries would have been drained by this point, but with Anthony I never had to try. Being with him felt easy. Everything was right.
***
I found myself sitting on the same bench outside the Coffee Cottage as before. I closed my eyes, tilting my head back to absorb as much sunlight as I could. The town around me moved peacefully. All except one.
"Oh, god. Not you again." Monica groaned as her bike rolled to a stop in front of me. Her hair was now half blue, half red, but the sides were shaved all the way down. She rubbed her eye, the smudging the heavy make up.
I couldn't muster a reply- I was in too good of a mood- but Anthony managed to sum it up as he took a seat next to me and said, "Fuck off, Monica."
He handed me my drink before putting his arm around me. Another girl rode up on her bike behind Monica. I recognized her, but didn't know her name. She swung her foot out, bumping into Anthony's leg.
"Be nice!" She said to him. Both girls seemed comfortable with Anthony.
He leaned closer to me, "This is Jenny. She's an old friend. Monica is a bitch."
"Shut up, Anthony!" Monica growled before peddling off.
Jenny laughed following her friend, "I'll talk to you later. See ya, Stephanie!"
Anthony was busy eating a sandwich as the girls left. I looked at him, a bit perplexed. He gave me a questioned look, shrugging his shoulders.
"How do all of these people know me? Before I even say a word."
He swallowed a mouthful, "I told everyone about you."
"But, we only just started dating. Wait, you didn't tell them about my..."
"No." he looked at me with his confident, charming, grin. "I talked to all my friends before you and I started talking. I wanted to know everything about you. From the first time I saw you, I knew we were meant to be together. Now eat."
Anthony handed me the brown bag, and I pulled out a cup of fruit to eat. I rested my head on his shoulder, watching as he contently finished his sandwich.
This is nice. I could stay here forever.