I rush out of the house, having to type in my security code twice before the door locks.
I almost scream when I see a man in a suit standing in front of a black car.
I calm down when I recognize him, I approach him.
"Mr. Ian sent me to pick you up," he says, and I nod, remembering that my car was left at Oli's.
I look at the time on my cell phone after greeting him, he opens the door for me, I thank him after asking him to take me to Oli's house to pick up my car.
I walk into class, apologizing to the teacher for being late.
I walk to my seat, my shoulders slumping as I see the seat next to me empty.
I sit down, checking my phone for messages, but only finding one from Luna asking me if I went to get my car from Oli's, I reply.
I turn to a girl next to me.
"Excuse me, could I borrow a page and a pen?" I smile sheepishly at her and thank her when she gives me what I ask for.
I sigh, trying with all my strength to pay attention, ignoring the pain in my chest that doesn't seem to want to go away.
I walk to the table near the soccer fields at lunchtime. Luna hugs me cheerfully, scolding me once again for not having told her last night that I got home safely, I smile at her apologetically, not feeling like making an excuse. I wave to Oli who gives me a small nod and a smile.
I approach Asher, when I see his intention to kiss my lips I move my head slyly, receiving it on my cheek.
The chestnut-haired guy's brow furrows slightly, but I pretend not to see it. I walk to the other side of the bench, freezing as I see Ian lying across the full length of it.
Sighing, I lift his head, sitting up, carefully laying his head on my legs, before placing my purse on the table.
Ian's eyes widen with confusion, no doubt it's tiredness making it hard for him to realize where he is.
I lower my gaze, as his eyes collide with mine.
I give him a smile without showing my teeth. An apology dancing in my eyes.
The confusion disappears from his, he gives me a smile in the same way, but this one doesn't even come close to reaching his eyes.
Luna starts talking to me about how the neighbors almost called the police because of the noise they were making last night.
Luckily, none of the guys in front of me notice the shiver of discomfort that runs through my body.
I startle as I feel a finger on my abdomen. I lower my eyes as I watch Ian settle a little more on my legs, his finger moving innocently between my abdomen and the golden chain that adorns the outline of my waist.
My breathing becomes shallow as I feel his cool finger moving back and forth.
Ian closes his eyes again, settling his legs better.
I try to ignore his presence by focusing on Asher and how he constantly opens and closes his mouth, as if he wants to say something.
I close my car door, after dropping off some notebooks I picked up from the library for homework, not wanting to carry them around.
A hand waves at me from afar, I smile at Asher before approaching him.
"Going to class?" he asks when we're facing each other.
I look at the time on my watch.
"I have twenty minutes before it starts." I answer, cocking my head to the side in question.
"Good." Asher holds out his hand to me, confused. I take it, letting him guide me into an empty classroom.
I stir uncomfortably inside the classroom as he closes the door.
Asher approaches me, taking my hands, walking backwards until he sits on a table, pulling me towards him, leaving me at a safe distance.
"I wanted to talk to you." Asher releases one of my hands, runs it through his hair, flustered. "I wanted to apologize, shit, I know all I do is apologize to you, Soph, but I really wanted to."
It takes me about thirty seconds to remember why he's apologizing. And there, I understand—that's what he meant a couple of hours ago. Guilt fills my chest at the thought that he's been all this time figuring out how to apologize while I spent last night —well, obviously not thinking about him at all.
"You don't have to Ash—"
"Yes, of course I do, Soph, because I know I have a problem; it's just that at home—" Asher shakes his head. "It's no excuse; it really isn't. I just really want to be a better person for you, and damn it, if a guy like me, with his way with alcohol, came near you, I'd recommend you stay away, Soph, really, but I—"
My throat closes as I see the regret in his eyes.
The clock in my head starts ticking, louder this time than in the last few weeks. So I sigh, putting my free hand over his hand, which still holds mine.
And for some reason, from what my eyes want to say, Asher's slight sigh tells me he understands.
The guy drops his hand.
"Soph—"
"I'm so sorry, Asher. I assure you, this has nothing to do with the alcohol. I swear. It's just—" I lower my gaze, thinking about my words, thinking about everything bad I've done since I got here, everything bad I have left to do. I look up, tightening my grip on his hand. "I really think the one here who doesn't deserve the other is me. Asher, you're an amazing guy, someone—" my voice trails off. "Someone will know how to value you like they should. I'm so sorry."
Asher nods. I let out a sigh before squeezing his hand one last time before leaving the classroom and walking to my class.
To my surprise, Ian is already in his seat, his head tucked into his arms.
When he hears the sound of my chair, he turns to look at me. His mouth opens slightly, but then he thinks about his words before smiling mockingly.
"What's wrong? You told Asher you just wanted sex, and he reacted badly?" His words are harsh, and my eyes close, taking them in, internalizing them.
That's all you deserve. This and more of what's to come.
I sigh and look at Ian for a moment, his eyes telling me he's really waiting for my answer.
"I just broke up with him." Surprise shines in his eyes at my words.
Not wanting to correct me that we weren't technically together, but in talks to be, Ian just hands me a page of paper and a pen before burying his face in his arms again.
Classes are over for the day, but my lack of concentration made it more of a wasted day.
I take my car keys out of my purse.
I'm startled when hands grab them from me.
"Damn it Ian, you scared me half to death." I run my hand through my hair, listening to the small chuckle of the little black-haired guy in front of me. "What are you doing?"
"I'm driving you home," he says, shrugging his shoulders as if it's the most obvious thing in the world.
I raise an eyebrow and cross my arms.
"You're not asking me for sex, are you?" The guy's eyes widen between horror and surprise.
"Jesus, Young, not everyone is sexually depraved," he says, and I drop my arms in confusion.
"Then why?"
"Because what?" confusion reigns in the black-haired guy's eyes.
I bite my lower lip, trying to decipher his future actions, but, who am I kidding? Not even before coming here, with all the research I did, I couldn't decipher anything about him.
"Why are you talking to me so calmly after what I said to you?" I sigh in exasperation, moving closer to him, so I don't have to yell in the middle of the university parking lot. My eyes collide with his. "Everything I told you this morning I-"
"You didn't mean it," he finishes for me.
"What?" My mouth opens to say something else, but nothing comes out.
"I said, everything you said this morning is not how you really feel." my mouth closes, Ian raises a challenging eyebrow, encouraging me to contradict him.
"Why would you think that?" I say, clearly a stupid answer.
Ian smiles, jingling my car keys, walking away from me.
"You see, Young, I'm a very observant person."
I let out a laugh of disbelief. I jog a bit until I catch up.
How Ian knows where I park my car is beyond me. We walk in silence to the last stretch of parking, the only one I could find for coming so late.
"How long will you keep calling me by my last name?" Ian turns to look at me, his eyebrow raised with curiosity.
He pouts slightly, analyzing my question.
"You don't like your last name?" I blink, not expecting that question.
I frown, noticing how Ian slows his pace a little to be level with my small legs.
"It's my mother's last name." I whispered, relieved to finally speak the truth.
I feel Ian's gaze on me, but my eyes are on my beige pants and white shoes.
"Your father—?"
"I never knew him." I looked up, feeling my heart pound as I met the interest-filled gaze of the guy next to me. "He never knew he had a daughter."
Ian is silent for a few seconds.
"Would you have liked it?" I look at him, confused, standing in front of my car. "That he would have met you."
"No. He can rot in hell for all I care."
Sophia's Outfit