Y/n was currently seated on a chair as Harley Quinn was currently sitting innocently cross legged on his couch freshly showered and back in her jumpsuit smiling innocently, after hearing her name he told her he had questions that needed answers, he didn't expect her to comply so fast though.
"Okay let's cover the simple stuff....so your Harley quin?"y/n
"Mhm, the one only!." Harley said enthusiastically.
" and your the jokers girlfriend?." Y/n asked
"Ex! Me and Mr.J are donzo!" Harley clarified firmly, as though she had repeated this sentiment alot, Y/n was unconvinced.
" something tells me you don't just break up with a guy like that.." y/n said.
"But we did!" Harley pouted. " I even did what i did so everyone could see I was serious!" Harley explained in frustration.
"And how did you do that exactly?" Y/n asked with a raised eye brow.
"Blowing up Ace Chemicals, Duh!" Harley said with a smile. Y/n eyes widened, making the connection that she was the reason said chemical plant was on the news.
" why the hell would you blow up a chemical plant?" Y/n asked genuinely confused, not understanding what anyone would really gain from that.
"You know.." Harley said as if he's joking, then notices his still confused look. " wait you don't know?! It's like the most common thing anyone could know about me and The Joker!" She exclaimed
Y/n rolled his eyes " remember where you are, I'm not privy to every detail of something that happens deep in the city, I don't have alot of knowledge on the super villains of Gotham, you and your ex included."
"Well you don't want people thinking you're living under a rock , so good thing Harleys here to help ya!" Harley said happily Y/n just stared at the woman, wasn't she just pleading for her life moments ago?
Suddenly as Harley went to speak again, Harleys stomach growled loudly.
"Ooh" harley sounded as she rubbed her stomach. " i could really go for something right now, do you have any snacks?" She asked y/n.
Y/n eyed her a bit, she did look a bit drained, he wondered how long she had been on the run.
"In The Pantry." Y/n said giving her the direction she needed to go too.
Harley springs form the couch and skips over to the pantry.
"Now slow your roll, you still need to tell me why you blew up a chemical plant?"y/n said as he watched grab a bag of Doritos, Ore and a Gatorade.
"Well if you really wanna know , you're gonna have to sit down and hear my story." Harley said with a smile as she took out a Dorito from the bag.
Y/n couldn't help but roll his eyes "can't you just give me a short answer?"
"No! Its No Fun when its short!" Harley said with a pout.
Y/n just internally groaned, he just went over to the pantry and grabbed a dorito bag and a gatorade for himself, if he had to sit through a story he might as well snack. " Whenever you're ready." Y/n said as he opened his dorito bag.
Harley smiled happily and clapping her hands. " Thank you good sir!, now..." harley said beginning her tail.
"They say, if you want to tell a story right, you gotta start at the beginning..." harley began.
Harley saw the perplexed look on Y/ns face. "Too far?"
"Too far" y/n confirmed.
"Fine." Harley accepted and fast forwarded the story a bit.
"This is me, Harleen Quinzel" Harley started
"From harleen to harley...a little lazy but okay." Y/n thought to himself.
"When i was a kid, my dad traded me for a six-pack of beer." Harley explained "but however many times he tried to ditch me, i kept coming back." Harley explained with a smile.
Y/ns eyes widened, that was awful, how could she speak about that with a smile ok her face.
"Ok..." y/n said wishing for her to continue.
"Eventually he found me a new home, The good sisters of St.Bernadettes taught me alot." Harley explained as though it were a fond memory. "But i was never an establishment kind of gal.
"Clearly." Y/n said allowing a small smirk grow on his face, he had heard alot about The good sisters of St.Bernadettes, nothing good, so he doesn't blame harley for mostly likely disregarding whatever they were teaching.
"All things considered i did good, i even went to college, got my PHD." Harley said smiling proudly.
"Whoa whoa whoa, you have a PHD?" Y/n said interrupting suddenly.
"Questions after the story!" Harley said firmly lightly kicking his shin.
"Ow!" Y/n grunted. "Fine..."
"Good, now , i had my heart broken once or twice, finding love isn't easy." Harley said sadly. " so i threw myself into my work, became a psychiatrist."
"A Psychiatrist??? Oh now thats just fucking ironic.." Y/n thought to himself shaking his head
"Thats when i met...Him, Mistah J, My Joker" Harley said almost dreamily.
Y/n couldn't help but shake his head, Mr. J was a clown, and he could tell he wasn't those handsome enough to pull off anything people, remembering a broadcast of him walking out of a bank.
so he was really starting to see that harleys taste in partners was kind of shitty.
"And you fell for him." Y/n continued for her as he took a sip of Gatorade.
"Oh i fell hard." Harley agreed wholeheartedly. " like out of a plane without a parachute, right in your dumb fuckin face kinda heard." She expressed strongly.
"I lost all sense of who i was, i only had eyes for puddin." Harley explained.
Y/n narrowed his eyes a bit at that detail, it was bad enough the man was psycho but to lose her sense of identity for his sake? It could see that this relationship was just one giant red flag.
"Now we all know the saying behind every successful man there's a badass broad." Harley explained.
"Uh yeah...close enough i guess." Y/n agreed, she got the last words wrong but it was still true, his mind going to his mother and father's relationship.
"Well that was me" Harley Said pointing at her self. " I was the brains behind some of Mistah Js Greatest stunts." Harley said with a smirk, but it left as soon as it came. "Not that he would let anyone know it..." Harley said, clearly frustrated.
"Trouble in paradise." Y/n said simply as he grabbed another chip.
Harley nodded unenthusiastically. "I guess all good things just have to come to an end...so.....we broke up." Harley said, her tone said not happy about it.
"And how did you handle that?" Y/n asked curiously
"Oh i handled it real mature but mistah j was super broke up about it." Harley said with a confident smile.
Y/n knew that was the other way around but didn't try to refute it. "Right.." y/n said with a hint of sarcasm.
"I got an amazing new place that was all mine, it gave me the space to really reflect on the mistakes of my past, i knew i had to find a new identity, it wasn't easy, but after a while i even opened myself up to the possibility of new love." Harley said brightly, thinking of her pet hyenas that. "And the thing about new love is that you to feed it." Harley said matter of factly as she ate an Oreo.
Y/n looked at her in confusion, she had her own place? And was she talking about having a pet? Questions he would save for her after the story.
"Soon enough i was back on my feet, ready to move on, to make some new friends, and it was time for gotham to meet the new harley quinn, so i really put myself out there." Harley said with a smirk.
"Wait hold up you broke up with Gothams biggest criminal and not a single thing happened?" Y/n asked in confusion, something like that was pound to cause issues.
Harley looked sheepish now. "Okay so I hadn't exactly told people about the break up."
Y/n scoffed. " New you and you couldn't put that information out there?" He said as he ate another chip.
" you don't understand, being the jokers girl gave me immunity, i could do whatever i wanted to whoever i wanted and no one ever dared to object" harley explained defending herself.
Y/n could understand now, criminals didn't want to risk what the joker could do to them so better to steer clear of her. "Okay you got me there ." He said as couldn't exactly scold her because he was in a similar position being the son of a crime boss.
Harley then looked a bit down. "Even when i did try and tell people, they didn't believe me." Harley said as as she began fiddling with an oreo. " said i couldn't stand on my own, that id be back in the jokers arms when he snaps his fingers.." Harley said in frustration as she broke the oreo in half. " it was then i knew i needed to find someway to show the world that id cut ties with Mistah J for good." Harley said firmly.
"And what was it?" Y/n said with his hands clasped together, having a feeling of where it was leading to now.
"Well some people have the Eiffel tower or olive garden." Harley said waving the oreo pieces a bit.
"Olive Garden?" Y/n thought in confusion, he guessed love could really be found everywhere, he just didn't think it would be at a mediocre italian restaurant chain.
"The Joker and i? Our love bloomed in a highly toxic, industrial processing plant." Harley explained, finally, getting to the meat of the matter.
Y/n couldn't help hit wonder if thats why her skin was so pale, he wondered just what the joker did to her.
" and luckily for me, i have all my best ideas when im drunk." Harley said mischievously.
"And that was what? Setting up explosive charges?" Y/n guessed as he took another drink of Gatorade.
Harley shook her head. "Nope, stole an oil truck and sent it crashing into the plant." Harley explained cheekily.
"Of course you did." Y/n said, already aware she wasn't all there in that pretty little head of hers. "So you blow up the plant..." y/n trailed allowing her to pick up where she left off.
"Well...it was the closure i needed, a fresh start, a chance to be my own woman." Harley Said happily.
Y/n could see that was she glad to be able to fly out of her cage, however considering what he dealt with visiting his father a month ago... " and you didn't think it through." Y/n said as he knocked back an oreo.
"Ugh, No shit i didn't think think it through."harley groaned with a frown. " Im about to learn that a lot of people in this city want me dead, and at the top of that list, is Roman Sionis Aka Black Mask." Harley revealed.
Y/n eyes widened, He is very familiar with that name, in just a month he established himself as a heavy hitter, the man had connections coming out of his ass, and as a result had large territory that sat right next to his father's, which led to many skirmishes on both sides.
"Shit..." Y/n said rubbing his face in frustration, what the fuck did he get himself into...
"Yeah, really wack job that one, with a penchent for peeling faces." Harley continued.
"Yeah...Im familiar." Y/n said to her.
"Okay, so that he wanted me dead hadn't hit my radar, see if was halfway across town , and thinking about breakfast." Harley said as she sighed reminiscing. "Egg, bacon, American cheese, Soft toasted buttered roll, just a dash of hot sauce.." Harley began describing.
".....are you seriously describing an egg sandwich to me right now?" Y/n staring dead at harley.
"What a way to start my new life sigh...with the perfect egg sandwich..." Harley said dreamily.
"Jesus christ." Y/n muttered under his breath.
"I don't know if it's the stray Armenian arm hair, or the fact that his cheese slices are always six months out of date, but no one, makes a egg sandwich like Sal." Harley declared happily.
Y/n recoiled a bit at the mention of hair, she must have been dead broke and had a seriously messed up digestive system if she could eat such a sandwich.
"Now, it had been six short hours since my little stunt at ace chemicals announced to the world that me and mistah j were dunzo, cops who never would have come after me before were suddenly after like i was Oj or something." Harley said dramatically. " and what's worse every person i ever wronged now felt free to come and take their pound of flesh."
"Uh Huh..." Y/n said.
" i managed to split and lose them, even made it back to my place but..." Harley trailed off with a frown. " i tried to stay home and just watch tv but, next thing i know my place gets lit on fire...." Harley said thinking back to when molotov cocktails were hurled through her window. " and it took loosing two things i truly loved to see that the target on my back was much bigger than i thought." Harley said depressingly, she sent out her hyenas to escape, she didn't know if they were still alive.
Y/n just continued to stare at hear, motioning her to continue.
"With the walls closing in around me i made a carefully calculated highly strategic..." harley said dramatically.
Y/n raised an eyebrow judging her words, he'd known the woman for about 20 minutes and he could tell calculated and strategic weren't her strong suit.
"Fine.." Harley said knowing it was nonsense. " I ran, not like i could do anything else, tried to maneuver around the the streets but then a bunch of romans guys got the drop on me, couldn't really do anything else but surrender.
"So you were Romans Prisoner?" Y/n asked in interest.
"Yeah at least for a little bit." Harley confirmed. "You could say i was a big ass thorn on the mans foot, and he wanted to kill me to set an example, you know the usual crime boss stuff."
Y/n nodded, they did do that alot.
"They had me hanging from some chains, one of the goons were taking turns electrocuting me until roman arrived, but luckily one of the goons left, so i was able to chock him out with my legs, snatched his keys and made a getaway!" Harley said proudly with her hands on her hips.
"Okay...but that still doesn't explain why you ended up here." Y/n said wishing to know why she was running for her life.
"Well it wasn't exactly a quiet getaway..." Harley began explaining . " Roman has sent a bunch of his goons after me, ive been fighting them off around every corner and cops haven't made it easy either , i haven't been able to eat properly or sleeping for more than an hour or two at a time." Harley said tiredly as she finished up her Oreos.
Y/n could see the bags under her eyes so she wasn't lying about that.
"Today ive just been so tired, i didn't have weapons so i didn't know what else to do but run." Harley said dejectedly. " and well.... Here we are." Harley concluded with light smile.
Y/n let out a deep sigh, rubbing his face as he heard all the details, he then got up from his seat and began to walk around pensively.
"Whatcha thinking about?" Harley asked curiously tilting her head on her hands.
"What to do with you" y/n said leaning against his fridge.
Harley lost her smile, and concern washed over her. "You're not gonna kick me out are you?" Harley said concern clear in her voice.
"Haven't decided yet." Y/n said, he wasn't sure what to do now that he learned roman wants her head.
"Please , please don't send me back out. " Harley said getting up from her seat and quickly walking over to her. "Please il do anything il even..." harley trailed as she began to unzip her jumpsuit.
Y/ns eyes flashed. "No!" He said catching her hands, suprising her. "Just No.." y/n said gently letting of her hands, criminal or not she hadn't done anything to him and he wouldn't stoop that low. " look the fact of matter is roman wants your head on platter and the last thing i need is the kind of heat around me, let me just...let me go make a phone call." Y/n said heading towards his room and pulling out his phone.
"You're not gonna call the cops are you?" Harley asked, holding her arm.
Y/n gave her a deadpan express. "At this time of night, in this part of town, looking the way i look, really?"
Y/n asked back
Harley could connect the dots and nodded. " touché"
"Just sit tight, this won't take long." Y/n said before continuing to walk to his room.
Y/n got to his bedroom locked the door and immediately called his father, if anyone would provide some clarity in a situation like this its him.
The phone rung once and soon he heard his father
"Eyy, mio figlio , what can i do you for this time of night?" Carmine greeted.
"Hey dad, listen you heard about Ace Chemicals Exploding Right?" Y/n asked.
"Oh yeah, Looks like like Harley Quinn is back on the market, and that can be taken two ways, Dumb girl definitely didn't think that one through." Carmined responded.
"Yeah...what if i told you that dumb girl is currently sitting in my kitchen?" Y/n said rubbing the nape of his neck.
"Oh.....Well shit kid you alright, if she tried something i can have that broad in a casket tonight" Carmine said goin into boss mode.
"No No im fine trust me, its just, she just showed up at doorstep begging me to let her in, i didn't recognize her at first and i tried to ignore it but with the way she was begging...i don't know my heart just wasn't in it" y/n explained.
"Heh, thats your mother talking." Carmine joked, his mother was too kind for this world.
"Hehe yeah, i let her an, some goons knocked a moment later, wanted to get their hands Harley, when they found out who i was they got to walking, turns out their Romans Goons." Y/n explained
"Ahh shit of course that asshat wants a piece of her, so why haven't you kicked her out?" Carmine wondered curiously.
" It's just...after hearing her side of things ...I don't know, it seems like she just wants to live freely instead of becoming the next joker or something, but that's where you come in, what can you tell me, has she burned down any orphanages? murdered anybody that didn't deserve it? Anything that can give me a clear conscious and decide where to go from here." Y/n explained, unsure what to do.
"Well lucky for you we got guys who keep tabs on this sort of thing." Carmine said as y/n heard what sounded like papers being handed to him. "Harleen Quinzel, Psychiatrist helping treat folks at arkham asylum, good track record until The Joker got her hands on her." Carmine Explained.
"She said love bloomed for them at the chemical plant, why there of all places?" Y/n wondered curiously.
"Well she can give you a better explanation but the general consensus is, she took a dip in a chemical pool, didn't exactly come out of it normal, Sick fuck that joker." Carmine said distastefully.
"Jesus..." y/n said, to subject herself to that, shes lucky to be alive.
" Now going into the more gritty details, i see a-lot of thievery, arson, murder , and just general recklass behavior but it only ever happened to anybody who got in the jokers way, she isn't directly responsible for the death of any woman or child, so Pretty tame all things considered, the only reason shes as known as she is is because she was at the jokers hip." Carmine explained.
" Okay that helps, but still undecided...what would you do in my spot? Y/n asked wishing for his fathers advice.
"Oh i would just have her shot." Carmine said casually. "Shotgun blast to the face, problem solved"
"Damn dad" y/n said, preety dark.
"Ah you know what im about, but thats what I would do, what do you want to do?" Carmine asked back.
Y/n got to thinking. "Sigh... well...i know calling her a good person would be bullshit but i don't know, considering everything, seeing that she's exhausted and even scared, it just doesn't feel right kicking her out....i think il let her stick around, at least until all this heat with roman blows over." Y/n decided
"Well you know il support ya, and honestly speaking she might have some useful info on roman so it would be in our best interest to keep her around." Carmine explained now seeing the benefits of having her close to her son.
"Two guys in the middle of the night, do you think roman would be bold enough to send more than that?" Y/n asked considering what roman would do to sink his claws into Harley.
"Out here? Likely but don't expect legions of Romans men to stroll through, Romans bold but he aint stupid , he knows he risks war having so many guys in my turf, and war is really bad for business , now that doesn't mean some don't slip through the cracks , so keep some heat on you." Carmine advised
"Naturally." Y/n responded, he never left home without a gun or two.
"And honestly with that Clown with you ain't got much to worry about, don't let that silly demeanor of hers fool ya, that chick could honestly give you a run for your money." Carmine said seriously.
"You're kidding." Y/n said not believing she was all that threatening without a gun or melee weapon.
"Kid, she once killed a guy at a bar with a spoon, A fucking spoon! Im serious that broads more dangerous than she look." Carmine warned firmly.
Y/n eyes widened at that bizarre information. " alright i got it and well i think i got everything i need, thanks pops."
"Anytime kid, and hey try not to give me a grandson." Carmine teased.
"W-What?!" Y/n thought, his face turning read at his father's comment.
"Ah don't what me, i know you got a thing for the crazy ones, remember griselda?"
"Ugh no menciones a esa puta (Don't Mention that bitch.)" y/n groaned, not forgetting the fact that his ex had pulled a knife on him when he dumped her.
"Hehe, well look i got some business to handle so il leave you too it, remember if you change your mind the shotgun is still an option." Carmine said jokingly though y/n could tell he was serious.
"Right, catch you later dad." Y/n said as he ended the call.
Y/n pocketed his phone and decided not to keep his guest waiting any longer, he walked out of his room, and found harley balancing a fork on her nose.
"OH! harley exclaimed suprised by his presence and dropping the fork onto the floor. "Um...so what you gonna do?" Harley said fiddling with her hands.
Y/n sighed and scratched his head. " it's your lucky day miss quin....you can stay."
Harley then stopped moving, suddenly a smile began to grown on her face.
" you really mean it?" Harley said her voice cracking as she smiled and her eyes began to water.
"Yeah i do, now obviously-Oof!!" Y/n grunted as harley had wrapped her arms around him tightly, giving him a big hug.
"THANK YOU, THANK YOU THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!" Harley Yelled happily jumping up and down.
Y/n was surprised by the contact, she was stronger than she looked he and couldn't help but blush in embarrassment, he just did what he thought was right and rubbed her back.
"Y-Yeah no problem , but if you're gonna be living here we got some ground rules to cover and remind me to get you clothes tomorrow ." Y/n commented as the last thing he needed was harley living her like she owned the place not to mention she had nothing but the clothes on her back.
"No problem, you won't regret this i promise!" Harley said giving him one last squeeze before detaching and looking at him with those big blue yes. " Il be the best roommate eva you'll see!"
Y/n didn't know how someone like her could produce such a pure look. "Y-yeah Right." He responded , he really didn't know what he was getting into.
——
Boom!
Man it feels good to get something out!
I know not much happened in terms of overall story but i hope it was fun nonetheless
Let me know your thoughts!