16| Flashback
Sithara dabbed extra concealer under her jaw to hide the hickey she received only a few minutes ago from her husband. She pressed her lips to even out her lipstick all across before styling her hair one final time. She picked her handbag, walking out of the room.
"You look so happy." Sithara giggled at her mother-in-law's comment as she walked down the stairs.
She was indeed overjoyed; she was visiting her parent's house almost after an year and a half. It felt like a celebration to her especially after having put so much effort to bring Arsalan on the same page. Even after five years of marriage he was still bitter about her family. He just didn't seem to become comfortable with them. Thankfully he was not outrageously cold with them like he was in the start but nonetheless it was very awkward for her to break the ice between her parents and her husband. She simply loathed the tension.
"May Allah always be with you." Sithara touched Ammi's feet for blessings. "Convey my regards to Mumma and Papa." She added and Sithara nodded.
"I have put your luggage in the car Bhabhi. Is there anything else I could help you with??"
"Thank you so much Jamal Bhai." Sithara smiled, denying.
"Where are Aadya and Athiya??" She asked Ammi.
"Already in the car. They are more excited than you." Ammi replied and Sithara beamed.
"You do take care Ammi. Call me if you or Abba needs anything, okay?" She insisted.
"Don't worry about us. You hardly see your family. Enjoy with them." Sithara hugged Ammi and took her leave.
Arsalan opened the door for Sithara from the driver's seat. She put her bag in her lap, glancing at her girls. They were chirping in the back seat about all the games that they were looking forward to play with their cousins.
Sithara's phone rang, breaking her observance. It was her father. "Beti, you are still not here. Shall I come to pick you??" His voice was a mix of concern and elation.
"I'm on my way Papa, Arsalan is dropping me." She understood that although her parents didn't openly discuss her husband's demeanor towards them very often, it did make them nervous and anxious. They were ever more careful about Sithara and her marriage terms with Arsalan since everything that Ranbir did came to light. They did not want to be absent from their daughter's life even by mistake.
"I'll be there in fifteen minutes."
"Okay, can't wait to have you back." He bid and Sithara saw Arsalan furtively roll his eye and shake his head in dislike. He found Sithara's father too sweet to be real. It was effing ridiculous of him to even think that. Her father was a true gentleman. Arsalan's guts amazed her. She wondered how easily he dared and she just let him.
His expressions were reserved and distant again. She couldn't believe that he was back to being cranky. They have just had sex, she had once again explained she missed her family too much to not be with them and assured she'd be back as soon as possible yet it didn't change his mood a bit. It seemed like he only momentarily agreed with her during sex.
"Careful oh god." Sithara screeched as Aadya and Athiya jumped out of the car the moment it stopped. The door banged shut and they were running inside the main gate in a second. Arsalan had still parked the car away from her house, at the same spot he had always had, as if their relationship was still a secret.
"Are you sure you are really going to stay?" Arsalan whirled to face her.
Sithara bit her lip to contain her smile. It was cute, his mood, when he was too needy for her yet didn't want to show it off too much.
"Hmm." She hummed.
"You are looking too beautiful to be away from me even for a minute." He complimented her yet again. It was unusual.
It was more of his style to tell her she is looking ravishing over some amazing sex for once and all than speaking about it all the time. But today, he was choosing to put it out loud again and again even when they had had a good session in bed already over this.
"Agar aaj main saari raat bhi yahan tumhara intezaar karun toh mujhe koi afsoos nahi hoga." She broke into a small laugh, but his lusty eyes upon her made her heart skip a beat.
She was dolled up in a golden lehenga, looking as pretty as ever.
She couraged to stare into his eyes but she couldn't. He could really make her go back on her decision with the look in his eyes and take her home with him to make love again.
Her cheeks instantly blushed at the thought of it. She literally had him inside her with this heavy lengha tied around her waist, her boob popped out of her top and fully sucked just a while ago. It sounded so crazy and wild now that she thought about it. She had to re-do her make-up and hairstyle before coming down to the car.
"Okay, I'll wait for you here in the car, go and meet everybody in ten to fifteen minutes and be back." He teased and tested her.
"Arsalan." It was almost a moan with his thumb softly running over her knuckles.
"Main jaun." She spoke after a few seconds of silence.
"Nahi." He curtly responded.
"Toh phir?" She curiously raised her eyes.
"Ghar chalein mere sath." He acertained.
"Hmm, okay chalein." She played along.
"Arsalan." She chortled, stopping him. He had ignited the engine. "Nahi please. Mujhe yahan rehna hai."
Arsalan leaned into a kiss, tenderly sucking her lips. "You are being cruel." She grinned hearing his words slip into her mouth.
"I love you." Sithara planted a kiss on his cheek before getting out.
"Please come for the wedding."
"I'll see if I can."
"Arsalan."
"What? It's not like it's Shashwat's wedding? She is your cousin." He bluntly justified his plan to absent himself. "We have talked about it."
"I will call you at night." She said before walking to her house, not wanting to argue. "Khuda hafiz."
Arsalan's eyes followed hers as he waited for her to send a helper to come take her luggage.
Sithara embraced Kabir as he opened his arms and squeezed her into a hug. She laughed as he spoke to her before dropping a kiss on her cheek and holding her hand to walk her inside.
Arsalan did not appreciate it at all. It seethed him.
@Sithara 👁🗨
It had only been a night and Sithara was tired to her bone. She'd danced her heart out, laughed the loudest, been pampered like a baby. It was a good good night but she woke up to no calls or messages from Arsalan which spoilt her mood.
She had called Arsalan multiple times before sleeping yesterday but he didn't respond nor did he return the call yet.
"Sithara, wake up. You are not home to sleep." Her mother spoke to her, putting the curtains aside. "It's noon already."
"Yes, Mumma. I'm up." She replied in her groggy voice. Her friends and cousins had slept late. They were all partying and drinking.
"Freshen up quickly." Her mother directed. "If you will act lazy we won't even get a chance to sit and chat together and it'll be time for you to go."
"Mumma, I won't go until I spend time with you." She promised. Her mother was happy to have her back but in the back of her mind she was always calculating the days Sithara would stay especially when she was here on the pretext of her cousin's marriage. She was afraid they were barely going to get personal time.
"Arsalan." She dialled his number. She was worried. Although he had left her here on a positive note but his sudden disappearance tensed her.
"Hmm." He hummed in a stupor as if her call had woken him up.
"You did not answer my calls." She complained.
"I slept." He responded to the point in short.
His reply didn't sit right with her but she did not want to pick a fight first thing in the morning. "I could not sleep the entire night." She rather told him she was concerned.
"Hmm." He basically agreed to what she was saying.
"Arsalan sab theek hai??" It began to sound like his mood wasn't as light as it was when he dropped her.
"Sab theek hai matlab???" Arsalan questioned instead.
She grimaced. "Yahi ki sab theek hai?"
"Mere sab theek hone aur aapke sab theek hone ki definition alag hai." Arsalan did not lie. Sithara never agreed to his reservations towards Kabir. She was too naive, she did not understand that Kabir desired Sithara more than as a friend. She thought Arsalan was being too possessive of her so it was better to not talk about it because he didn't want to hear her endlessly defending Kabir, nor could he at any cost tolerate their proximity in front of his eyes so the best solution was to keep shut and stay away. He did not want to bring this up so that she could enjoy her family time.
But to Sithara it seemed different. It reeked of manipulation. To her it felt like he always tricked her with his words.
She was speechless. She could not think of an appropriate answer to his statement. It made her feel confused and anxious. Because what the fuck did he mean?????? She tried hard but could not figure out.
"Im getting late, I have a lot of work at office." He told her when she did not say anything. "Thank you for waking me up though." He hung the call on her.
Sithara gaped. She was astonished. How dare he???? She was not done.
"Arsalan what do you think of yourself????" She called him again, this time angry herself.
"Sithara I can't with your routine this early in the morning."
"What routine??"
"This 'what do you think of yourself Arsalan' routine???"
"You are so pompous Arsalan." She felt sad. She understood that he did not like them staying away from each other, she was also sensitive about his skepticism and hesitation towards her family; she tried her best to balance her love, in fact, she always prioritised Arsalan yet this one time she chose her family and he could not even be nice. That was the least he could do. "Tumhe pata hai main malang hun toh tum mera kaafi faida uthate ho. It's unfair."
"Excuse me." Arsalan was offended. "You think I'm lying about having to go to work??"
"No. No one is as busy as you."
"You challenge?"
"No, I don't. Keep yourself busy." She replied. "Mujhe aap se baat he nahi karni."
She got off the phone and rushed to the commode to retch her life out.
"Sithara??"
"Sithara are you okay??"
Her mother rubbed her back as she puked.
She nodded, feeling giddy and dizzy. "What happened??"
"I'm fine." She didn't want to admit that she drank alcohol. Her mother would not like it nor her husband.
She sat next to the wall devoid of all energy. "Do you want me to call the doctor??"
"No, I'll take a bath. I'll be fine." She regretted panicking her Mumma. "Don't worry, it's nothing."
"I shouldn't worry?" She exclaimed. "Look at yourself? Your husband hates you visiting us and then you go on and sabotage your health so that he never allows for you to come the next time."
"Chill Mumma." She dismissed her narrative. "Don't be afraid of him."
"Hmm." Sithara could hear the taunt.
@Sithara cutest freckles of them all
"Come no??" Sithara's cousin pulled her onto the dance floor once again, making her do the signature move of her favorite song with her.
She laughed as Kabir copied her moves. Everybody in the hall was happy and delighted & beautifully dressed. She personally loved big fat Indian weddings. It was a vibe.
Sithara threw her hands in the air excitedly spotting Daniya running over her to dance. They shared a quick hug before swaying their bodies on the music together.
"Don't hate me but." Daniya tip-toed to whisper in her ears but instead she screamed to be heard.
"What???" Sithara frowned. She looked guilty.
"Arsalan bhai heard me that you drank when I was on the call with you." She was sorry.
Sithara rolled her eyes at Daniya's expressions. It wasn't as big a deal as she thought it was.
"Relax." She calmed her.
"I thought you'd hate me." Daniya exclaimed.
"The only person I hate right now is your brother. He did not care to come." Sithara retorted.
"He has an important meeting."
"Fuck him literally." Sithara showed her her middle finger and Daniya laughed, agreeing. "Actually."
They both began to dance again but Sithara couldn't cope up. She felt excerted, going out of breath rather swiftly. She did not feel as energetic as she wanted to; her body was not supporting.
Sithara picked her phone from the dining table. She didn't realise but she did not have it with her for a while now. Aadya and Athiya took it from her and she forgot about it too. She noticed missed calls from Arsalan. She did not want to call him back but before she could final her decision he called again. She did not pick up at once but the bell rang again.
"Kyun mujhe baar baar call kar rahe hain??" She spoke to him over her mobile, walking out in the garden, away from the loud sound. "Kya problem hai??"
Her tone put him off. "Aapko kya lag raha hai ki main aapke bina reh nahi sakta isliye baar baar call kar raha hun?"
"Nahi, mujhe aisa bilkul nahi lagta." She replied and silence occupied both sides.
"Arsalan mujhe jana hai aapko jo baat karni hai jaldi jaldi kijiye." She put across when he did not respond for a minute.
"Theek se baat karo mujhe yeh attitude ki aadat nahi." He crisply replied.
Sithara huffed hearing him. She wondered if he called to fight her??? First he didn't show up for the festivities and then she couldn't even be upset about it.
"Arsalan what do???"
"What do I think of myself??? Kitni baar yeh sawal puchogi Sithara?? Abhi tak toh aapko pata chal jana chahiye ki main apne aapko kya samajta hun." He interrupted her and completed her sentence.
"Arsalan."
"Jis tarah aap mujhse baat kar rahi hai ab mera dil he nahi kar raha ki main bataun maine call kis wajah se kiya tha." His voice went down. "Ab main nahi aap he call karengi." He added arrogantly just before Sithara could start to regret her behavior.
"Mujhe nahi lagta main aapko call karungi."
"Good for you." He hung up.
@Sithara all heartss
Sithara paced around the room berserkly. She couldn't wrap her head around what just happened. She had not seen it coming, she had not thought about it any time lately let alone plan it, so she was just overwhelmed.
She couldn't process what the emotions floating in her stomach meant. Sithara did not feel happy, or excited nor did she feel terrified and sad like the last time. Her chest was just full of numerous feelings, joyed or agonized, she didn't know.
She dialled Arsalan's number for the seventh time but he did not fucking pick up. She hated him at the moment, she wasn't even sure if he was really busy or doing this to revenge her for being rude to him yesterday.
"Sithara, what are you doing hn?? Everybody is ready to leave. Come down." Her mother screamed from the corridor.
"Yes, Mumma. I'm done. Just five minutes."
She frantically called him again, walking to and fro in the room. She was so restless, and all she wanted to do right now was hear his voice but he was never available to her so easily right???
Arsalan
Calm down, in a meeting
Sithara
Bloody pick up
seen
"Arsalan pick up." Her voice grew heavy as he disconnected the call, ignoring her message. Did he think she was on her period and acting crazy?
Tears rolled down her eyes. She had no clue why she was acting up the way she was but she felt weird. She didn't understand what to do with all the feelings piling up in her heart and the information in her hand. She desperately wanted to talk to Arsalan so that he could make sense out of everything. Her mind was at conflict. And she knew she wouldn't be able to survive this strange feeling without meeting Arsalan so she wanted to meet him before she left for the destination wedding ceremonies. She knew she had to meet him before leaving because he was not going to attend the functions.
Arsalan
Contact my secretary if urgent
He forwarded her a customized text, not even bothering to put efforts to look apologetic for not being able to immediately respond.
A customized text??? He couldn't even type a sorry and request to wait???
She gulped, loathing the situation. How important could the meeting be? She was sure not more than what she had to speak about yet he didn't for once give it a thought. But if Arsalan wanted to be obnoxious then be it.
Sithara
Fuck you I swear
I'm pregnant
Let me know if you want to keep it?
Her phone rang within a minute. It was Arsalan. The better part of her didn't want to receive the call now but she did not have the courage to do it.
"What do you mean 'if you want to keep it'?" Arsalan roared. "Are you out of your mind Sithara? What on earth made you ask me this question?"
He was aggressively loud, rude and visibly angry. She could imagine the scared faces of his employees seeing his face at the moment.
"You shock me Sithara." He sighed. The dejection, and heartache in his voice instantly made her lament her impulsive choice of words.
She didn't mean it. She didn't mean to say it.
"Couldn't you figure out a better language??" He demanded her to speak but a word couldn't escape her mouth.
"Why don't you tell me what you think?" He questioned her instead.
"I'm certain you know what I want whether I take your call or not?" He jibed her. "So why don't you clarify your intentions with my baby???Your opinion on 'it'??" Sithara's text back-fired as it took both of them to how Sithara reacted on discovering her pregnancy with Athiya. It was bitter sweet and so was this turning out to be.
"You know you choose." Sithara threw up hearing his words on the spot. She wasn't considering not having the baby. She only wanted to taunt and trouble him for not letting her break out the news to him the way she wanted to. But he misinterpreted the entire thing.
"Are you okay???" He asked hearing her puke.
"Sithara is somebody near you???"
"Ask for help."
"Fuck it, I'll call your mother."
@Sithara golden
Motherhood was not everything golden. It was not all glitter and good as most people popularly believed it to be. It was love and kindness but equally pain and sacrifice.
Sithara had been fond of children, she really enjoyed their company, and had always dreamt of having her own children and raising a beautiful family like her parents did so she did not expect herself to act so strange every time she got to know she was pregnant.
"Congratulations." Her aunty fed her a piece of cake, giving her a sweet hug. Her family had burst into celebrations hearing the news of her pregnancy.
Sithara maintained a smile on her lips as she stood amidst them in the centre, observing everyone around as they chattered about her, and the baby. Everyone looked very happy, especially her daughters who could not keep calm but dance in joy and excitement, not being able to wipe off the giggle off their beautiful faces.
Sithara wasn't sure if she was as thrilled and delighted as them and that made her feel super guilty. She kept her hand on her stomach, and offered a sincere apology for being in state of confusion and distress to her baby.
"Arsalan!!" Her father exclaimed, making her look up in his direction. His voice suggested he didn't expect her husband to show up and fairly, so did she.
"Arsalan Bhai you are five minutes late. Sithara just cut the cake with Aadya and Athiya." Her brother greeted him as sweetly as he could.
Arsalan's eyes finally rose to meet with hers at the information and in a moment, Sithara felt that she had been read, in and out, every thing that had been going on in her mind and heart. His mere presence made her feel so light and caressed yet the realisation that she had to carry the weight of her thoughts all day alone made her want to punch him.
She shut her eyes and looked away; she wanted to cry. It was so easy, all she needed at this time was him but he chose to be busy and unkind and kept himself away from her.
Aadya and Athiya jumped and laughed in his arms, kissing his cheeks as if he was pregnant with their sibling and not her.
"Sithara, did you take prasad from Pandit ji?" Grandmother enquired. "Come, if you didn't. He will leave."
"Ji, Dadi." Sithara smiled.
"Pandit ji, also tie a raksha-sutra on her wrists. I don't want any nazar on my daughter." Dadi spoke and she chuckled at the superstition.
"Don't you believe me? Jab se aai ho tab se sab ne keh keh ke pareshan kar diya ki 'Sithara kitni sundar lag rahi hai', mujhe toh pata he tha ki kuch karke aai hai."Sithara laughed and so did Kabir and her cousins.
She wasn't wrong though. She had no clue that it was pregnancy glow. Arsalan too had been telling her that it's different but she couldn't guess.
"Ek mahine pehle he kar liya tha Dadi isne." Kabir replied and all the tittering got louder but she couldn't understand. She simply continued. "Haina, sabne bol bol kar tang kar diya, ab pata chala pregnant hai toh dekho subha se she has been retching. Meri ladki ka muh utar gaya." Dadi planted a kiss on her forehead.
"Aww, Dadi, love you." She hugged her back. "I'm fine now." She gazed at Arsalan while replying. She was angry at him but nevertheless glad that he was finally here to celebrate the moment with her.
"Your husband realises that friends joke??" Kabir mumbled to her.
"What happened??"
"He glared at me when I said the kar liya thing."
Sithara chortled. "He is very respectful." She defended him.
"Oh, come on." Kabir face palmed. "He makes love to you and does not have sex??"
Sithara guffawed. "Shut up."
"You spend your life with a boring man Sithara." She rolled her eyes at the comment.
"Arsalan, please, you should try this." Her father attended Arsalan as if he was the most important guest in the wedding while he had a stolid expression on his face. It was clear he was not here for the festivities but for his baby.
"Papa, he'll help himself out." She put a hand on his shoulder from behind, interjecting them. "He can figure out." Arsalan did not deserve special treatment from her father when he wasn't reciprocating any courtesy.
"Sithara he has just come." Her father rebuked her.
"Yes, he is my husband. He should have been here earlier. Tell him if you need any help and go look out for yourself, please."
"Sithara."
"Uncle." Arsalan piped in this time before her father could say more but she could not help but grimace at the use of the noun. 'Uncle'. She did not address his family like this, as strangers. "I can assist you if you want."
"No, son-in-laws are royalty. We are supposed to welcome you the best." Her father remarked. "Why don't you go relax for a while? Sithara, you go accompany him."
"Okay!!" Sithara sighed. "But did you eat Papa???"
"I will, you go."
"Shashwat?? Please make Papa eat yeah??? He needs to take his pills."
"Papa??? I asked you to sit and eat." Her brother scolded him, taking him along.
"Kabir." Sithara walked away before Arsalan could talk to him.
"Did you try opium pastries?? They are lovely." She spoke, knowing well it was one of Arsalan's most favorite.
"Arsalan?? You are still here?" Her father asserted.
"Sithara??? What are you doing? See if Arsalan is okay??????" She reluctantly agreed.
Sithara gestured Arsalan to follow, withdrawing from Kabir's company.
@Sithara wedding 🎊
"I was passing by." Arsalan spoke softly, cautious of Sithara's mood. He knew that she was upset, her actions had conveyed it to him. He also knew that there was a lot that was going on in her head, he could see she was so restless and troubled and wanted him to listen to her. He wanted to solace her too.
"We are not quite on the road." She stated facts.
"A small diversion."
"Seventy miles away from the city." She knew the directions and the distance to her farm house.
"That's a small diversion these days." He didn't want to admit he drived all the way from a different city to attend her family function.
"So I am a small diversion???" She checked with him, gazing into his eyes.
"I couldn't find a gas station near by? Do you have information??" She stared at him dumbfound. Was he really kidding her??? He was going to leave if she did not beg him to stay??? How ridiculous!!!
"I'd ask Bilal to take your car for the petrol."
"By when???" Sithara glared at him at the question. She was so easy to get played by him.
"We are far from anywhere, people usually stay over." She indirectly asked him to stop over.
"But you just said Bilal could help."
"But it's very usual for people to stay the night. We have a whole wing called guest wing." She kept her proposal as non-personal as she could. She knew he was poking fun at her. But she was not going to fall for his sweet, good for nothing, games and melt, making it easier for him to absolve himself from all the blame.
"You have a guest wing???" Arsalan raised his eyes at her audacity and she loved the query. He was well aware of the fact that there was a suite entirely dedicated to her in the farmhouse.
"Well, yeah." She pursed her lips to stop that mischievous smile.
"Then I might as well just leave right now." He challenged her.
"Uh, you are an expert at that." She taunted and turned around to the reception. "I lost the card to my room." She requested for another key.
"Lucky you that there are aunties here, aunties that hear a pin drop or else you were really staying in the farthest guest room."
@Sithara very much in love and pregnant
She swallowed down her medicines with a glass of water, walking to the dressing to touch up her make-up before going down. She noticed that the shower had stopped and her husband would be ready soon and she did not want to delay anymore.
Her cousin sister had already called her five times, asking her to come down.
Sithara was putting blush on her cheeks when her eyes fell on Arsalan, sauntering into the room, brushing his hair with his hand in a white towel hung low on his cute waist.
She took a deep breath and decided to ignore. There were clearly other important things to do than make account of the reasons why she was pregnant.
"Where's my phone???" Arsalan questioned her.
"Here." It was to her side, vibrating by messages from office.
"Make it fast hn Arsalan." Sithara demanded, seeing him scrolling his phone. She did not want him to get caught again.
Arsalan eyed her, watching her intently as she stood up, pushing the strand of hair behind her ear.
"Arsalan." She exclaimed his name as he held her hand gently.
"Arsalan, what are you doing??" She laughed softly as he hugged her from behind, dropping kisses all over her back, untying the thin knots of her backless blouse.
She joyfully veered towards him kissing him on his lips. "My family is waiting for us downstairs." She spoke in his mouth.
He only gripped her closer and tighter, kissing her lips again, as his fingers crawled up her stomach. "I waited for you every minute the last thirteen days." He kissed her non-stop, directing her towards the bed without breaking the kiss.
"Arsalan." Sithara chuckled as he dropped her on the bed and she bounced because of the cushion.
Arsalan hovered over her body, between her legs, drawing her lehenga up to her thighs.
"There are things, that if I take off, I won't be able to put them back on." She wasn't lying. She had actually sought help from people at getting dressed.
"That's good." He sucked her lips, burrying his face into her breasts. He licked her nipple."I'm not letting you get off this bed until morning when you are driving back with me."
"Don't even let this thought breed." He bit her listening to her response, making her huff.
"Really???" He sucked her lips. "You will disobey me??? Hmm??"
She couldn't reply. She could not say no in this proximity and he knew it.
They kissed, as Arsalan took off the towel, making his way to her entrance through her heavy as fuck lehenga.
"Hello, Mrs Arsalan." He peeped into her eyes, his lips nearly touching hers, the top of his dick threatening to break inside. "I'm sorry for being busy in my head but now let's complete the ceremony." He honestly admitted to her with all due love. She could see it in his eyes. "Let me say hi to my baby."
He thurst into her, making bliss rain down upon her.
@Sithara 🤍
"No, no." She clicked her tongue in disaproval. Arsalan could not tie her blouse as fancifully as it was supposed to be.
"This is looking fine to me." Arsalan sighed, replying to her, unable to understand what she was expecting from him.
"I told you we won't be able to do it." She huffed and complained, looking at him through the mirror dissatisfied.
"Do you want me to call for your mother???"
"Yes, and what do I tell her?? That I just had sex and my husband can't tie it back?"
He shrugged because why not. "Did your father not send you here with me??"
Sithara laughed. "He didn't mean us to fuck."
He shook his head. "Why does your family try so hard to cover up the defeat though?"
"Huh??" Sithara frowned, missing the context.
"Celebrating me having fucked you well with cakes when they didn't even want me to see your face."
"Stop holding grudges Arsalan."
"I will never. I hold my ground." He mumbled. He added 'unlike them' in a feeble voice but she heard it.
Arsalan could not forgive her family for not giving him a chance; for not listening to his intentions with their daughter even for once.
Everything could have been so different and less insufferable if for once they had put their ego aside and cared for Sithara.
"Why did you sound so upset about the pregnancy???" Arsalan held her by her elbow, and pinned her against the closet, remembering their conversation all of a sudden.
"I was never upset about the pregnancy." She was offended.
Arsalan waited for her to elaborate.
"I was overwhelmed."
Arsalan contemplated.
"Surprised."
"Confused." She stopped. This was what she felt.
"Because you were not expecting it???" He enquired.
"Maybe." She thought. "Arsalan, for the last few years, I have been so busy with Athiya and Aadya. I don't realise the time between when I bid you adieu and when I welcome you back for the dinner. I chase them all day, run the household chores in haste whenever they are asleep or too much into their games, at times I forget to eat or just make myself a roll so that I'm always up for them. You know sometimes at night I'm just too tired to even ask how your day has been."
"I love them so much Arsalan, they are my world yet when I'm in bed at night, I feel I have done nothing, that I have wasted the entire day." Her eyes whelped up.
"Is this how my life is going to be?"
"What do you mean is this my life going to be???"
"Of course this is not going to last forever." Arsalan added.
"I know this is not going to last forever, that's what scares me Arsalan. I'll fade into irrelevance."
"Athiya and Aadya already need so little of me, after some time they'll prefer doing things on their own, soon this baby will outgrow my need too? Then?? What will I do?? I would have lost my prime years of work experience, my hard earned degree would go useless??"
"You'd never be irrelevant Sithara." Arsalan spoke with conviction. "You drive me through life, I'm happy, my children are happy all because of you, for all that you do for us, for these unaccountable sacrifices."
"You are not wasting your time Sithara, trust me, you are not." He pointed. "What good would we do without you???? Could the money I'm making, the luxury we are living in re-place for the mental well being we are in??? Would all materialism provide and suffice for us not being with their daughters?? You hold us together Sithara."
"Arsalan why should I pay the cost? Because I'm a woman??"
"No, because you are the most kind, loving and brave person possible to exit. And you know we'd want our kids to grow in love and empathy than in business and calculations." He justified.
"You are a better parent, we know that. I can't even fucking remember being there for Athiya and Aadya at the right time if you don't loop me in." Arsalan had actually tried to work from home when Athiya was growing up while Sithara went to Court and attended NGO but it was too messy, and taxing too.
"We can have more helpers for Athiya and Aadya if you want, you can join work right after the baby, as soon as you are physically okay to walk, we can have fulltime help." He rubbed his thumb on her pink cheeks.
"Meanwhile you can simply choose to work from home with our company if you wish to keep your self professionally engaged. I'll arrange a call with my legal team right away."
"Your company has no work from home policy."
"That can change for you in a second."
"I love you." She kissed his lips, feeling so much better and sorted. This was the clarity she was looking forward to. This was why she was so desperate to talk to Arsalan so that he could make her feel better by highlighting the brighter and better things in life.
"You need to calm down."
"You wish." She chortled. "I'm going to be on pregnancy hormones for the next nine months."
"We are good and always will be." He planted a kiss on her forehead.