Choi Han returned later in the night, having spent the evening training. He heard the ruckus around, but didn't expect to find South in the stables when he went to return his horse.
South was very tense— very unlike him and his usually lackadaisical nature. He clutched onto one of the horses and brushed like his life depended on it, like he didn't want to be unfocused for even a second.
Like he was desperately trying to dissociate himself from his thoughts.
"...Choi Han-ssi, welcome back," South said. A moment later, "ah, so you're the one that took Mama Northford out."
Choi Han blinked in surprise at that. "There's no horse pun in that one."
"Yes, because it's Mama North."
South told him, as if that explained anything, and came by to take the horse's reins, leading her back to her stall. Along the way the horse nosed him, and then when she found something that displeased her she refused to go back to her spot, cornering him and nuzzling in, until South had to hug her to hold her back.
"Okay, okay," he grumbled.
Turning back to Choi Han, who was staring rather curiously, South changed the topic.
"Are you taking a horse tomorrow?" South asked.
Choi Han considered that. "No, it'll be a rough journey, so I shouldn't."
South acknowledged that. He'd probably be faster without one, anyways, with how crazy this guy is.
"Did something happen?" Choi Han asked.
South didn't answer. "Can I see your sword? The cloth wrapped around the hilt is just falling apart, it looks kind of pathetic."
It took Choi Han a moment to decide to hand his sword forward.
"Are you supposed to be here? The knights were saying you were bedridden with injuries..." Choi Han seemed genuinely confused.
South settled down carefully, and now Choi Han noticed the way he favoured one side while he moved, leaning back against Mama North as she too settled down on the ground.
-
Choi Han decided to wait for his sword to be done.
It was odd. He knew the horses were affectionate to South, but today, all of them were rather clingy. They nuzzled up to him gently like they were comforting— especially the one Choi Han brought back.
Mama Northford curled around South protectively, and while she didn't stop him from working, she made sure he was as comfortable as he could be.
South began wrapping around something made of thick string and then leather around the hilt of Choi Han's sword, knotting it tightly like he'd done it all before.
Choi Han had swung that sword around for two decades in the Dark Forest, and sure, it was kind of falling apart— but he'd never actually seen someone maintain a sword's grip like that before. Maybe it was something commonly practiced in a medieval-like country like this nation, but with South, he would never know for sure.
The knights all said South had been attacked, and South did look injured. But he wasn't resting. Clearly, South was hiding something.
And Choi Han hated that the longer he looked at South, the quicker he recognized the signs.
South had on gloves— new ones that he didn't own before today. They were long enough to have a strap that tightened around his wrist, covering some of his most eye-catching tattoos up until the middle of his forearm.
His hair was hastily tied back down— clearly washed and someone combed it, but he didn't put it up before working.
He didn't move his right shoulder a lot— some injury around the shoulder bothered him, and he didn't put too much strength into his movements.
When South tried to get comfortable leaning into the horse's flank, he winced when he leaned on one side, and shifted away until it was better. But clearly— he'd hurt much more than anyone knew.
South should not be on the ground tonight. Even Choi Han knew that.
"There."
South was done, holding up the sword for Choi Han.
The hilt was now wrapped patterned in string— dark red, so ornately, the sword resembled a katana's handle, and it was really beautiful. South lined it with leather to reinforce the sides, and it was actually rather impressive.
"You're leaving tomorrow, right?" South heaved as he got back onto his feet, heavily leaning on the horse. "Then that will be helpful. It'll be bad if your sword slips from your hand in battle."
Choi Han was definitely grateful.
But, also,
"Thank you," he said, curtly. "You're done here, right?"
"Whuh?"
"Right," Choi Han dismissed that question, "you're uh, Mama Northford," he said the name apprehensively and the horse stared at him, "can you go back in there yourself?"
The horse nodded and snuffed at South one last time before shoving South's back, urging him toward Choi Han.
Choi Han must be going insane. These horses understand the language.
South protested. "Wha— hey—"
"You," Choi Han scooped South right up around the waist and threw him over the shoulder, earning a sharp hitch of breath that confirmed his suspicions, "are going inside. I think I saw you were assigned to a room with Coachman-ssi."
"Whuh? No!" South protested, "he'll find out I sneaked out!"
"Then let him find out," Choi Han told him. "Or would you rather he found out about what really happened to you?"
South fell silent immediately.
And Choi Han hated that he was right.
South had fallen unconscious for an undetermined amount of time in that fight. The only people that truly knew what happened then... and the real reason South killed them all without mercy... Choi Han could only imagine.
He didn't want to.
"It's not a big deal," South insisted. "but it's pathetic. So don't tell the others. It's fine, anyways! I killed them. I killed them, so it's like--- it's like it didn't happen, okay?"
It sounded like he was trying to convince himself of it.
Choi Han hadn't even known the him for long, yet, this was the first time he'd heard his voice shake like that.
"...I couldn't kill the last one, but that's fine," South's voice was quieter than Choi Han had ever heard. It promised so much vitriol, "I got what I needed. The next time I meet him, I'll make it look like an accident."
Choi Han wanted to tell him, you don't have to.
He understood best how violently a desire for revenge could seize a person. Of course South refused to rest— how could anyone, after what happened to him? But Choi Han was different now— he wanted to believe he was different now.
So instead, he decided that South had to rest tonight, whether he wanted it or not.
He shifted South into a more comfortable position, held up around Choi Han's arm and shoulder, and began walking back into the inn.
"Have you ever wondered, Choi Han-ssi," South told him, deciding to stop resisting and just get sent back to bed again. "How nice would it be, to never have to be hurt?"
Choi Han thought about South, when they went up that mountain and fought all those knights. He remembered how South plunged a thick needle into his arm like it was something he could so easily do, how he barely flinched as it drove between his bones and came out on the other end glistening bright red.
He didn't realize until now how heartbreaking it was, that South didn't even cry out at that kind of pain. How South looked at all that blood and thought it was just an inconvenience.
(How much pain was he usually in, that all of that could be normal to him?)
(How often did he have to do it, that he didn't even let himself cry when this happened?)
Choi Han looked to the side, and caught the gaze of a Black Dragon, who scowled. The dragon may not have understood, but he definitely did recognize a tormented victim when he saw one.
Choi Han wished the deaths of those bastards had been as agonizing as possible.