"Okay, Drama, here's the plan."
Drama and English stood outside the entrance to the MUGA. There were two distinct shapes in the other corner, pretty far away, but still visible.
"You're gonna force tears, and I'm gonna show them what Maths did. Then, I'm going to provoke him, and, knowing him, he'll engage in another fight."
"Are you sure about this? I thought maybe we should-"
"Completely sure!" English interrupted, grinning from ear to ear. "C'mon, stop delaying us! We don't have all day. 'Better three hours too soon than a minute too late' as Shakespeare once said." He grabbed Drama's arm again and dragged her towards the pair.
"Can I... Can I help you?" Maths lifted their head, their expression stoic and their voice dull. English couldn't predict what they were feeling, which was just as well.
"LOOK AT THIS!" English boomed, which sent a flock of birds flying from a nearby tree.
He held out Drama's arm as she sobbed (albeit, not very convincingly), showing them the mark.
"YOU did this!" English exclaimed, putting on his most threatening glare. "I'm honestly quite surprised those tiny hands could do so much harm."
"I know what you're doing." Art mumbled, but Maths stood up, reflecting English's glare. Drama wordlessly watched.
"Aww, is da widdle baby twying to wook tough infwont of their girlfwiend?" English taunted, grinning.
Maths was silent.
"Yeesh, I'm jarred by that comeback!" Suit the action to the word, the word to the action, English thought.
"You seem to think your silence is intimidating; to me, and to anyone else with a functioning brain stem, it's a sign of weakness and inferiority. Meanwhile, I, the superior-"
"For the love of all that is good and pure, shut the fuck up! Are you such a narrow-minded, self-absorbed, narcissistic dumbass that you take pride in being a friendless geek? Drama's only friends with you because she knows she's useful to you, so she can use you as a weapon. Do you even realise how pathetic that is, or are you so caught up in being an insufferable know-it-all that this is a mere blip?" Art hissed.
For a while, Maths kept their glare. Then their face contorted. Then, they burst into peels of laughter.
"Let's just leave." Art groaned, leading Maths out of the MUGA.
English followed them with his gaze, his mouth opening and closing, trying to figure out what to say.
"WELL- YOU'RE- UHM-" Drama yelled to them as they left. "YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHY I DECIDE TO BE FRIENDS WITH SOMEONE! JACKASS!"